Hey everyone.

This is an idea I had this morning, been working on it all day.

I hope you like this chapter.

Enjoy!

No one's POV

He can't believe what has just happened to him.

He is lying in an abandoned alleyway near his apartment, covered in sweat, blood and something else he'd rather not think about.

He stands up on shaking legs and slowly, almost robotically, pulls up his trousers.
'This shouldn't have happened to me' he thinks as he stagers like a drunk man down the damp, dark street.

Millions of questions were buzzing around in his head, like 'why me?', 'what do I do now?' and 'who can I trust?'

He can't feel anything at all as he walks into the apartment, the pain has been overthrown and it is replaced by a numbness that he can't even begin to describe.

When he walks into his apartment he takes off his suit jacket and his tie.
Like a zombie, he slowly walks to his bedroom, dragging his feet along as he does, making low grunting noises.

He flops onto his bed, just staring at the ceiling.
He wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy, not even Greg.

For a second he thinks about calling Ted, but then he decides against it.
"Ted's not gonna care, he finds me a nuisance, I'm not his bro, I'm not his best friend and he is always so happy to point that out, I'm not even his friend, he thinks of me as a pathetic puppy that always needs to follow him, trailing behind him all the time, they all do" He says to himself with a painfully hoarse voice.

"The worst part is that he is right, they're all right, I am a pathetic loser" he says bitterly.

He also wonders if he should call Robin, Lily or Marshall.
Again he decides not to.

If he tells Lily she'll just treat him like a fragile, little baby, like one of her kindergarteners, about to break at any second, that wouldn't be the right description of him, he's already broken, he has been for a while, long before this happened.
Marshall would go straight into lawyer mode and ask him all sorts of questions that he wouldn't be able to answer, or want to answer and he would go straight to Lily.

And he can't tell Robin, she'll think even less of him, and he wouldn't even know where to start, or what he would say.

He glances at the clock on his bed side cabinet, its 3:38 AM.
It's Sunday so he doesn't have to go into work, not that he was going to anyway.

He knows he's not going to get to sleep any time soon so he gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom.
He turns on the shower, as cold as it can go and steps into it, not bothering to take his clothes off before.
He sits on the shower floor, hugging his knees to his chest, letting the ice cold water soak him to the bone.
He is still refusing to let the tears full.

He's shivering all over, he has goose bumps and his teeth are chattering.
But he doesn't feel the cold, he feels as numb as ever.
He pulls himself out of the shower and turns it off.

He walks back into his bedroom and opens the cabinet draw, he moves the thin plank of wood he put in there ages ago and takes out the small box that was in the secret compartment he made.
With shaking hands he takes the lid off.

Inside the box are three small razors he had got from some pencil sharpeners he had years ago.

He pulls up his shirt sleeves, revealing tons of scars, old and new.
He picks up the sharpest razor blade out of the three and drags it across his arm, gladly watching as his warm, crimson blood bubble and drip down his arm, onto the bed leaving red stains on his once white quilt sheet.

30 minutes pass and he now has got over 40 bleeding cuts on each arm.

The burning pain now running through his arms is a nice contrast to the once unbearable numbness he previously felt, but the pain doesn't last long and he is soon left with a deep itch he can't scratch and the un-ignorable desire to dig that cold, silver blade into his skin again.

He can't fight the urge any longer and an hour later he has got over one hundred cuts on both of his fore arms caused by his beloved razor, his only friend.

He suddenly feels faint and lies down on his bed.
His eyelids feel heavy and the last thing he sees before falling into uncomfortable unconsciousness is the numbers 7:30 AM on his clock.

Barney's POV

I wake up with a dull ache taking over my trembling body.

My arms are extremely sticky, when I look down I find out why.
Both of my arms are covered in my own blood.

One thing's for sure, I no longer feel numb on the outside, but I feel numb on the inside.

I take a quick glance at the clock, its 2:30 PM now.

I hear my ring tone and I check my phone, the sudden bright light assaulting my eyes.

I have got six missed calls, six new messages and two new voice mails.

The six missed calls are from Ted and Lily, five from Ted and one from Lily.

The six new messages are from Ted, Lily, and Robin, three from Lily, two from Ted and one from Robin.

The three voice mails are all from Lilly.

Ted- hey Barney, I'm at the bar, where are you, I've been waiting for half an hour.

Ted- Barney this isn't funny, I've been waiting an hour now!

Oh, that's right, I promised to meet Ted at the bar and help him find a date for his cousin Ida's wedding he's going to, so he wouldn't look like some lonely, loser that couldn't get a date.

I'll make up some lame excuse when I see him next.

Robin- where were you last night, you said you would meet me at my apartment for dinner, I waited all night!

Damnit, I forgot!

Lily- hey, are you alright? No one has seen you since yesterday.

Lily- wanna go to MacLaren's later?

Lily- Barney?

I click on the first voice mail.

"Hey Barney, you didn't answer my messages, just wanna make sure you are okay" she says, obviously trying to keep her voice calm, it's not working.

And then the next two.

"Barney, this is not funny, answer the damn phone!" She yells angrily, something I know she does when she's worried.

"I'm sorry for yelling earlier, just text me please" she apologises.

I hear my ring tone go off again, another text from Lily.

Lily- that's it, I'm coming round.

Crap!

I jump out of bed, grabbing the blood soaked sheets and hiding them in my closest behind all of my expensive suits.
I put on a pair of old, black ripped jeans, a black t-shirt, a grey hoodie and a pair of old trainers, they're a bit tight, but that's fine.

The sound of Lily knocking on the front door makes me jump and almost fall off of the sofa.

I get up, but I take my time walking to the door, my limbs hurt and I was pretty much planning to stay in bed all day.

I open the door and Lily is standing there with her arms crossed, looking unimpressed and concerned.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Lily asks me, her eyes looking me up and down, probably checking to make sure I dont have any injuries that she can see, but the injuries I have are hidden out of her view.

I tell her some lie about how I 'totally nailed some chick last night' and make some stupid remark about how awesome I am, to try to throw her off of my case, the last thing I need is someone finding out what happened to me.

I can tell she doesn't believe me, but she doesn't push it.

"Fine, but one more question, and I really can't believe I didn't ask this first, why aren't you wearing a suit?" She asks, pointing to what I'm wearing now, a confused look crossing her face.

"I just didn't feel like wearing a suit, what, is that a crime or something!" I exclaim angrily.

"No! It's just that you always wear a suit, you love your suits" she says.

"I don't love my suits, they're just inanimate objects Lily, I'm not that shallow" I tell her, making her pull a shocked face and gasp, then look kind of guilty.

"Um, ok, sorry I asked, do you wanna go to MacLaren's, Marshall, Robin and Ted are there" she says.

"Yeah, sure, let's go" I reply, desperately wanting to get out of the apartment, I'm starting to smell the blood from the sheets.

That's it for now, I may be doing more chapters, depends how many reviews I get.

I hope you liked this chapter.

Dont forget to review.

Bye everyone.