_GON_

I'm not as naïve and oblivious as everybody thinks.. Especially Killua.. And I'm not that honest either. I do know what I want, who's the object of my desire or the various things that people thought I'm not even aware of. It's a BIG misunderstanding on their part, but I'm not really inclined to correct that. Let them think what they want. The only person on this world that I want to take me seriously is Killua, my best friend and object of desire.

I couldn't exactly point out when did I realized my feelings. Killua and I have known each other since Hunter Exam when we were 12 and its been 4 years since then. We're almost 16 now. And Killua's birthday is tomorrow. But once I do, not even once did I ever thought of denying them. I'm quite proud of it. That of all people, its Killua I want the most, I need the most, I trust the most and its only natural that he should become the person that I love the most.

Though as much as I've been proud of these feelings, Killua doesn't seemed to realized it or he doesn't want to realized it.. Between the two of us, I should be the slow one. But when it comes to these kinds of things.. Killua is the one who's good at not getting it.

All these years we have been together, we train together, eat together and sleep together.. That's why I'm aware that Killua's body matured earlier than mine. I know because I've always been watching him. He noticed, but probably thinks its nothing serious or out of place.

When we sleep together, I wonder if Killua noticed my body's reaction to him being so close.. He smell so good, its almost intoxicating. I've been familiar with his scent all these years and I do know that Killua doesn't used perfume or any chemical on his body. That scent is his natural odor and its causing me sleepless nights more often than not. I want to touch him so badly and make him mine. But I'll wait until our feelings became mutual.

Killua may not know this but I know that he's always staring at me whenever we hit the gym or when I get too close, he's reacting. When I said something close to affection towards him, he's always blushing furiously. That's why I know he's also aware of me physically. But unable to accept it. Because of our genders maybe, I don't know for sure. But he should be aware by now that gender has absolutely got nothing to do with this. Us being together, is the most natural thing in the world.

We are compatible, what I lacked Killua fills. We also share the same enthusiasm for adventure. We know each other's weaknesses and we both accepted it. We even do our best to cover it up. Above anything, my presence comfort him and his presence comfort me. So its hard to believe that Killua would rather choose a random person to love and spend his life with, other than me. I hope he realized that soon, instead of watching him tear himself in self denial.

Whenever we hit the gym he's always staring at me and for the life of me I don't know what's interesting to my body that reeks of sweat and my shirt, clinging all over my body. If I were looking at myself, I would find it disgusting and a huge turn off. On the contrary Killua, looks hot when sweating. He never looks disheveled and its driving me insane. No hair out of place, still looking all cool and composed, when his shirt cling all over his body. And he looks so sexy and hot. Killua looks perfect on his well toned muscle, unlike an enhancer like me who's way too bulky. Killua looked more feminine and as I said before, sexy. But then again, Killua have always, always been unearthly beautiful . I mean everybody on the gym regardless of their gender or age is practically eyeing him and I found that extremely unpleasant. Killua is mine.

"Gon, let's celebrate tomorrow and pick some girls. Stop spacing out while we're training." Killua said thoughtlessly. He never picked up girls before but if he pick a girl tomorrow, I'll snap. There should be a limit for self denial. "Yeah sure, whatever makes you happy Killua."

The Next Day

After our daily nen training, Killua practically dragged me out of the house to celebrate. Tonight I'll give my gift to Killua and confess. We'll be running in circles and make no progress if I wait for Killua to snap out of it and finally accept the inevitable.

"Where are we going Killua?" I asked.

"To pick some girls? Its about time that both of us grow up" Killua said mischievously.

On my mind, yeah its time for us to grow up. That line of Killua made me so furious I snapped. This is the time where I move instinctively and my mind separates from my body.. I hit Killua solidly at the back of his neck. Being unaware and unguarded, he fell unconscious in my arms and I took him to the hotel we're staying at the moment.

_KILLUA_

I love Gon, more than friendship. At the back of my mind I've always been aware of that fact. Gon and I are different, that's why I don't want to admit it and I don't want him to know. Gon grew up without parents and his father's absence on his life all this time drove him to find Ging Freecs. Even though he doesn't want to see him. Gon is always the optimistic one. He always see the world more kindly and he enjoys life above anything else. Every people that we know likes him, he bring that kind of light toeverybody. Whether they are the enemy, animals and just acquaintances, nobody can resist his charm. Just like me, you would think an ex-assasin like me would be as heartless as the rest of the Zoldyck's and I used to think so too until I met Gon.

Unlike Gon, I don't have the charisma to draw people in. I'm also a very pessimistic person. That's why I find it no good that I would desire Gon like this. That honest, naïve and oblivious person would probably flipped if he knew my feelings.. Or wait, maybe he'll be too slow to get it and probably misunderstand the whole thing. The very thought terrifies me.

Whenever we hit the gym, he would stand there, sweating, his shirt clinging all over his body and I would think he's extremely adorable, emitting pheromones all over. Heck, he's not even aware that girls are no longer eyeing, but gawking at him. He always looked so refreshed. He always emitted the kind of refreshing and open charisma that practically draws everybody in. Especially girls, when we're walking. I found it extremely annoying that girls are approaching us all the time, just because they found Gon to be too hot for words. And Gon is being unnecessary nice to everyone. I bet he didn't even know that those girls are flirting. Or wait, does Gon even know what flirting is?! He's such a baby, I want to cry…

I have to accept that someday he would choose another person to spend the rest of his life. That's why I have to get used to the idea. On my birthday, I asked him to accompany me to pick girls up. I want Gon to grow up, be more aware of his surroundings and be less naïve and oblivious.

But then the last thing I remember is being in town… And then blank… What happened? When I came to, I'm in the dark. My head hurts, so is the back of my neck. Both of my hands are tied on the bedpost separately, it doesn't feel uncomfortable. The bed feels soft too. Where am i? But the assailant probably used nen to tie me up. I couldn't get out of it. The more I struggled, the more my wrist … I've been careless. Where's Gon? How is he? Is he hurt? "Gon, are you there?" I mumbled in the dark. I'm not really expecting an answer.. But Gon answered. "Oh good, you're awake Killua.. I worried for a bit that I might've hit you hard enough to knock you unconscious for days." Gon said..

My mind is racing but my first thought is, HUH?! He's the one who tied me up and knocked me unconscious?! Come to think of, the smell of the surroundings is quite familiar. It's our hotel suite. "What did you just say Gon? Have you lost your mind?! Is this a prank? Untie me and turn on the lights. I can't see anything.." I said, getting uncomfortable.

"No, I'm sorry Killua but you have to stay there until I made you aware of how I feel about you.." Gon said seriously and once again, my mind is second too slow of getting it until he kissed me. I feel Gon on top of me, the bed is creaking on our weight. And Gon is kissing me passionately. Its like I've beendoused a bucketful of cool water but unable to say anything.

Gon is not stopping in just kissing but he's also unbuttoning my shirts. He's touching me while kissing me. His hand is so warm and it made me aware how Gon is warmer than most people. When his hand wander lower, my mind is already protesting but I can't say anything because our lips are still connected. And I don't really want him to stop. My mind is floating.. Crap, am I dreaming? This is so hot, and there's no way that Gon, the honest and oblivious guy will do this to me. Let alone know how to..

AH, I don't care anymore. My body is reacting. And I feel embarrassed that Gon would feel my hardness.. My hands are still tied on the bedpost. And Gon is stroking me up and down.. My face is probably burning red by now, I wonder what kind of face Gon is making right now. Well this is probablyjust a dream. I don't want to wake up anymore.

I feel Gon also slowly peel his clothes away, and as he straddle me once again, we are now both naked.. And he's also hard like I am. That made my face burn even more. "Killua, your body is so smooth like silk.. Very pale too. That's why if I sucked here just a bit… The marks are already turning red" Gon said innocently, in a tone that made you think he's only commenting on my clothes, while sucking my chest and licking my right nipple. What he just said embarrasses even more.

His down there is squeezing mine.. What a very erotic dream I'm having. I don't want to wake up anymore. This is paradise.

"Killua, this might hurt for a bit but please bear with it…" Gon said, before I could even ponder the meaning of what he just said, his warm finger, soaked with what I suspected a lubricant, found my rear hole.. Gon start to put his fingers slowly.. Just one, then two and three.. It feels uncomfortable and weird at first, but when I finally learned to relaxed my muscles, It feels so good and I'm dripping in the front because of ecstacy..

"Killua, I love you.. And I'm sorry for hurting you.." Gon said as he slowly entered his thing into me. It took a while before what he said registered to me. And I finally said "I love you too Gon" I might be dreaming anyway, I might as well be honest. Its painful at first, but not something I can't bear. This still feels so unreal. He let me get used to it at first before moving. Its amazing. I feel connected to Gon. More closer than I've ever been. We are like one entity. As he stroke me and he moved his hips at the same time, I already lose my mind in pleasure.. We're both gasping for breath.

At the end of it, we were both speechless. What we just shared is something magical that may not be real. After that I don't remember anything. I may have fallen asleep at some point. And when I woke up, morning sunlight is already streaming on our hotel suite. I'm alone in the bed. Yes, I must've dreamed of everything that happens last night. There is no way that the nice, oblivious and naïve guy would ever do that.. But when I started to move, I realized my hips hurt. That's when I realized I'm naked and when I looked down, my body is full of red marks. Or what other people call hickey. My face suddenly burned in embarrassment. Its real! I hide under the pillows and blankets. My mind is spinning.

As I started wondering where Gon is, I heard his voice. "Oh good, Killua. You're awake..! Its almost noon. We missed our nen training. But I brought you breakfast. Why are you hiding in the pillows? Are you embarrassed?" Gon said while chuckling, He's still half naked. Flaunting his perfectly muscular body thatmade every girls sighed dreamily. He's carrying a tray in his right hand and yawning and rubbing his eyes on the left.. I didn't say a word and it made Gon worry. He sit on the edge of the bed.. "Killua, I'm sorry… Are you mad at me? I love you. Always have and always will.."Gon said seriously.

"No, I'm not mad. I was happy. I also… Towards you… I love y-you too.."My face is probably burning red in embarrassment. I couldn't say it straight faced like Gon did. Then from his pocket he took an ankle bracelet that looks like made of wood and its handmade. Gon put it on me. "Happy Birthday Killua, I want to spend my tomorrow, the next day, the day after that and all of the years of my life with you.."

DISCLAIMERS:

I don't own HunterxHunter

If somebody gave me a review claiming they like this story, I'll write another one. About my other story "YOU ARE MY SUN", the chapter 3 is already halfway through. I'll post it in the next few days. I'm just getting this out of my system. I welcome suggestions and constructive criticisms. Thank you^_^