"Captains Outrageous…"
Summary: Strictly and utterly for fun. Imagining our favorite seestras as Captains of the Federation flagship.
Disclaimer: No copywrite infringement intended…
[Note-Just a bit of tinkering before I resume the tale, sorry it's been awhile but mucho real world intrusion]
Sarah….
Turbolift two…The USS Enterprise…
Currently patrolling a troubled sector of the neutral zone with the Holy and Orthodox Romulan Empire…Where the Romulans have been acting with more than usual brutality toward their conquered peoples, including several systems containing human colonists from pre-Federation days, creating awave of refugees across the border. But more serious, raids against Federation border outposts have been made, denied by the Romulan government as the work of nameless "terrorists" among the refugee populations…
"Are you freakin' joking, Sarah?" a nervous Felix Dawkins eyes his foster sister…Now elegantly turned out in Starfleet captain's uniform. An impressive change from her usual mix of colonial standard wear with Denebian spice trader punk and Orion ho…Often in tatters and long from washing…
"You're going to try to pass yourself off as Captain Childs…Commander of the Federation flagship…The Enterprise…In the middle of the neutral zone…Sarah? Are you bloody insane? Do you know what could happen if Starfleet noses you out?"
Shrug…"Fee…I told you. Captain Childs killed herself. I saw her jump into that plasma stream when the Enterprise picked our ship up. She's my identical twin, Fee. And the computer records show she's got enough Federation credits to her account for us to take Kira and find a nice little colony, all perfectly terraformed, in some quiet sector. I just have to be the Captain for a few days, Fee. And this is just a patrol mission…Pickin' up refugees like us…Heck, I know me way around a bridge…I was practically cap't on Vic's freighter all these months. He sure as hell couldn't command worth shite."
"Granted. But that was a smuggler's freighter posin' as a refugee transport…This is the bloody Federation flagship, Sarah…" He was immediately silent as the lift stopped…
"Captain…" First Officer Bell nodded to her from the corridor. She giving curt nod back.
"I've been trying to reach you, ma'am."
"I've been seeing…Commander… To our guests…" Sarah, in perfect imitation of Captain Childs'.
"Ma'am." Raised eyebrow. "I realize you wish to make the refugees as comfortable as possible…But we are in a potential war zone. And there is the urgent matter awaiting…Now."
"This is Mr. Felix Dawkins, one of the survivors of the Toronto…"
"Commander…Just expressin' my appreciation to the Captain for saving those of us who were left from certain death."
"Yes. Your ship was ill-equipped for the kind of journey you were attempting."
"When one's fleeing angry Romulans…" Felix shrugged.
"Captain? Regarding the urgent matter…"
"Right. Well, seein' as our business here is done. I'll be out of your way." Felix stepped out before a nervous Sarah could stop him. "Thanks so much, Captain Childs. Nice to be back on Federation soil…"
The lift door closed…First Officer Bell glaring.
"Beth? What the hell?"
"Uh…" she eyed him…
Bit emotional for a Vulcan, aren't you , mate? Not to mention kinda forward for a subordinate officer?
Course his personnel file did say he was part human…Canadian…That explains the bad-ass I suppose.
"Commander?" she attempted to reassert the boundaries…
Lets remember who the bloody cap't is here, mate…
"Keeping Starfleet Command waiting?! Are you trying to get your tweaker ass busted?"
"Hey!"
"Come on…" he frowned. "We can hook up with them in conference room D."
Jesus…Who's the damned captain here? She glared.
"Are you on anything?" he sighed. "Cause we can't put this off any longer…"
"What? No…"
Well, ok…Just a little…
God, tell me they don't drug test captains…
What the hell's goin' on here?
"Are you coming? Or do I have to phaser you and drag your fool hide in?" glare.
"I'm fine, Commander. Coming." She noted, curtly.
"All right, then…" he shook head.
God, what part of Vulcan are you from? She thought, utterly perplexed.
…
"Captain…" A stern white-haired Admiral, the famed Hardcastle, eyed her on screen. "Nice of you to decide to finally join us."
Flanked by a bank of seated Starfleet officers, all highly decorated and clearly of top rank .
All clearly quite annoyed with Captain Elisabeth Childs…
"She's here, Admiral…" Commander Bell noted quietly.
"Fine…Lets begin…The hearing on the destruction of the freighter Ramsai and the deaths of her crew and Captain Margaret Chen commences." The Admiral noted formally…
Jesus…Sarah blinked…
Alarm bells…Red alert lights…
"We've got a red alert!" Commander Bell noted, turning to computer screen…"Incoming vessel, decloaked, likely Romulan!"
"All right, get to your bridge, Childs." The Admiral sighed. "We'll reconvene when time permits. If this is Romulan, do not engage unless fired upon. We're sending back up. Good luck."
"Uh…" Sarah eyed the blank screen.
"Captain? Beth?!" Bell eyed her. "Lets go!"
…..
Turbolift…
"Jesus, Beth…" Bell sighed… "I hope to hell you're up for this."
"Am I still Captain of this ship or no?" she frowned.
"I hope to my human and Vulcan gods so…Are you resuming full command?" he eyed her.
"Uh…Well…"
"Beth…Either resume command or we make it official. I can't keep this under wraps any longer, not in a potential crisis."
"I resume command…Ok?"
"Thank God and Gods…" he finally smiled. "I wasn't anxious to find myself in the big chair today. Beth…I hope this means you're really back."
"Just stay by and watch my 'tweaker' ass, Commander." She eyed him, smiling.
"Now that's the Captain I know…" he nodded.
Ok…He loves me…And I do love him…But we're not quite…She thought.
"Captain on the bridge!" he announced as the turbolift opened.
She almost stumbled out but caught herself…
Everyone on the bridge eyeing her…
Ok, I reviewed the files…Communications and Tactical, Lt. DeAngelis…Engineering liaison, Lt Raj…Weapons Lt. Hen…Whoa…
She eyed the anxious twin at her post, looking at her…Hair tightly bunned, nervous expression.
"Captain…We've being hailed!" Lt. DeAngelis called.
She made her way to her chair…The big chair as Commander Bell…Taking his post at console…Had called it.
"Ok…" she nodded.
DeAngelis eyeing her…
What?
"Onscreen…" Bell, frowning at her…
"Right, get it onscreen…" Sarah noted.
"Hello…Captain Elisabeth Childs…" the singsong voice mocked her.
The bridge crew, particularly Lt. Hendrix at weapons, staring in stunned disbelief…At their own captain's face, framed in blonde with dark roots…And striking Romulan eyebrows and pointed ears.
"I am Commander Helena of the Holy and Orthodox Romulan Empire, yes?...Prepare to be boarded and destroyed. And good riddance…Seestra…"
"Shields are up…" Bell called out. "They're firing!"
Impact, causing shock waves through the ship…
"Captain?"
Another hit…Rocking the ship severely…
"Yeah, return fire…Aim for their bloody…Their engineering section! Hey, Lieutenant…Hendrix?...Wake up and bloody well fire!"
"Oh…" Lieutenant Hendrix, a bit stunned by the leering image on screen…
It's true…There are more of us…And the Romulans at least really are bent on killing us…
"Oooh…Poor shooting…" Helena grinned. "Your shields won't hold long…Ours are reinforced at 100% as we don't worry about returning home like you. We are ready to die and have the power of the Holy and Orthodox Romulan God to strengthen us. So, we say…Goodbye, yes?"
"Our shields won't take much more, Captain!" Bell noted.
"This is an act of war, Commander!" Sarah, trying to sound grim.
"I am radical fringe human-hating nut…Making my own little war on Federation…Government will deny all." Helena beamed.
"They won't now we've bloody recorded that last line!" Sarah noted.
Oh…Ooops…Helena frowned.
Should not have given that one away…Praetor Tomas is sure to be annoyed with Helena now. He don't want all-out war yet.
"Ok…" sigh. "I spare crew…If you beam aboard, Captain. We discuss diplomatic situation, do lunch, yes?"
"Lunch?" Sarah blinked.
…