Author's Notes: Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.

This is a three part story which I am still writing the third chapter of.

Enjoy.

Daniel stood watching, standing on the other side of the glass trying not to run into the Gateroom and beg her to stay.

But he couldn't.

Their final fight was still ringing in his ears, as were her last words to him and Daniel knew there was nothing he could say or do to change this.

The Gate burst open bathing everything in blue light, Sha're hugged Jack then Janet before saying goodbye to Teal'c and Sam. She said a respectful word towards Hammond who took her hand in his for a moment before she took her bag from Jack. Daniel clenched his fists as he watched the love of his life walk away. She stopped at the top of the ramp, turning she looked at him sadness filling her eyes before she left. Daniel stared at the event horizon until it disappeared, leaving nothing but a hole - empty and devoid of life.

Daniel heard Jack coming. Knowing that his friend would start asking the same questions he'd been asking for the past three days Daniel walked away.

If she could do it then so could he.

Sha're stepped out of the event horizon and onto her home planet, the moment she heard it shut down Sha're dropped to sit on the stairs and began to cry. She'd managed to hold it in for the past few days, managed to stop herself breaking down until this moment when she knew she was alone.

After ten minutes or so Sha're managed to pull herself together, ready to face her father and tell him what she had done. She knew he wouldn't be happy but Sha're had prepared herself for that. Stepping out of the pyramid Sha're felt the comforting heat press down on her, standing for a moment remembering the day they defeated Ra and the moment she had claimed her husband for all to see. That kiss had been the beginning. The kisses the night before in the cave didn't count. No matter how good they had been.

x

"My daughter," Kasuf cried happily, rushing forward to greet her when she entered the city, "It is wonderful to see you."

Sha're smiled wrapped in her father's arms, feeling for a moment like a little girl once more.

"How long are you here for?" Kasuf asked, walking them towards his home, "Did Dan'iel not come with you?"

Sha're steeled herself before telling him, "I am staying for good, Father."

"What?" Kasuf asked confused.

She took in a deep breath, "I am staying for good. Dan'iel and I are no longer married."

"What?" Kasuf demanded again.

"Father, I tried but…"

Kasuf cut her off, "You left your husband? That is not acceptable, Sha're you will return to Dan'iel now and beg him to take you back."

Sha're frowned, "No, I will not. Father, Dan'iel and I are no longer married. You can accept this and I will be here once more to look after you or…"

"Sha're…"

"Or," she continued as though he hadn't spoken, "I will go to another world and live alone. I do not want to but if you cannot accept this then I shall go."

"Did you try…"

"I tried for almost a year and a half," Sha're told him, "I tried but in the end it was just not enough," she sighed before asking, "Do you want me to go?"

"Of course I want you to stay here," Kasuf said finally, "This is your home. I just wish…"

"I do too, father," Sha're whispered moving to be held by him, "I do too."

x

Sha're sat grinding flour, it was a familiar task that allowed her time to think. She'd been home for almost three months now, three months trying to rebuild her life without Daniel. She missed him, for the first few nights she cried herself to sleep angry at him, at herself and at the Goa'uld for destroying her perfect life. But she knew she had left for a reason.

"You have almost made that unusable," Naeri noted taking the seat beside her, "I think you should stop."

Sha're sighed sadly doing as her friend suggested, "It helps."

"I know I promised not to ask," Naeri said, "But maybe you need to tell me what happened. I know how much you love Dan'iel and I know how much he loves you."

"I do love him," Sha're whispered, tears filling her eyes, "But he…"

"What?" Naeri took her friend's hand.

Sha're shook her head, "Every few days he would go on a mission. He would leave me and step into the unknown. He came back hurt so many times. I was sure I was going to lose him one day but he would not stop. He threw himself into danger without thinking about what it would do to me if he died."

"You asked him to stop?" Naeri asked astute as always.

Sha're nodded sniffing slightly, "He would not. He kept saying how there were so many people out through the Stargate he could help."

Naeri squeezed her friend's hand tighter, "You knew what kind of man Dan'iel was when you married him."

"Of course I did…"

"So what else happened?"

Sha're let out a long sigh, glancing down at her friend's large stomach, "He would not give me a baby."

Knowing there was nothing she could say in comfort, Naeri simply hugged her friend.

Sha're sat holding her friend's baby boy. It had been almost nine months since she had returned to Abydos, nine months where she had to rebuild her life once more.

"He is so good natured," Sha're smiled as she cradled the boy close who hadn't fussed even slightly when she lifted him.

Naeri nodded, "You do know you could have one of your own. There are many who would ask to marry you if you showed the slightest hint you would accept."

"There is no one here I would consider," Sha're replied, "I know how pathetic I may be but I cannot even imagine being with any other man."

Naeri shook her head.

"Sha're!"

The two women looked at one another confused at the yell from Nebah, handing the baby back to his mother Sha're stood and exited the tent to wave the boy over stopping when a familiar man appeared with him.

"Ferretti, what are you doing here?" she asked bemused.

"You have to come back to Earth with me," he told her, "Now. It's Daniel."

Sha're tiredly rubbed her eyes, "I cannot. Ferretti, he knows why I left. If he is hurt once more it just proves I was right to leave."

"He's dying."

Sha're gasped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, her vision blurred and only Ferretti catching her kept her upright.

"How?" she finally forced out.

"I don't know," he admitted, "I got home from a mission and was instantly sent here to come get you."

Sha're shook her head unsure what to do.

"Sha're," Naeri appeared at her side turning her so they were face to face, "Go and be with him. You know if you don't you will regret it. He needs you now and you should be there with him."

x

Sha're gripped Ferretti's arm tightly when they walked through the Stargate, the moment they hit the ramp she saw Jack standing waiting for her. His face grim and eyes dark reminding Sha're of the first time she met him.

"What happened?" Sha're demanded without any preamble.

Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Come on. Not here," he glanced at Ferretti, "Doc Warner is waiting for you."

Sha're felt the knot in her stomach wind tighter each step they took towards the conference room. She slid into the seat Jack had waiting for her twisting her hands in the silence which she finally couldn't take anymore.

"Jack, please just tell me," she whispered, "What happened?"

He let out a long sigh, "We were on a planet where their scientists were doing experiments on a new form of Naquada. Typically they weren't doing it right and Daniel stopped it from exploding killing everyone. But he got a lethal dose of radiation."

Sha're closed her eyes knowing what that meant, Ammonet had killed people that way. They had died a slow agonising death. And now her Daniel was going to die the same way.

Opening her eyes Sha're took in a shuddering breath.

"I need to see him."

x

Daniel lay on the hospital bed, his eyes closed. The effects of the radiation were beginning to show on his face and bandages were already wrapped around his hands. Sam was sitting at his side talking softly and Sha're could see tears in the other woman's eyes.

Sam turned and saw Sha're standing on the other side of the glass. She spoke once more to Daniel before leaving the room.

"Hi," Sam whispered wiping her eyes.

Sha're nodded back. For some reason she and Sam had never really become friends despite how close Daniel was to her,

"I didn't tell him you were here," Sam said, "But he wants to see you."

Sha're closed her eyes steeling herself for a few moments before she walked into the room. It had been almost a year since she'd been in the same room as him and that time they were yelling at one another, throwing harsh words around that stung in a way none of their previous arguments had. Sha're took the few steps to reach the side of the bed, wanting to take his hand, wanting to comfort him knowing she wasn't able to.

"Dan'iel," she said softly.

His eyes opened and he stared at her before turning away, "Why are you here?"

"Did you think I would not come?" Sha're asked taking the seat at his side.

"You left me," Daniel accused, anger in his voice.

"You know why," Sha're kept her voice even not reacting to his accusation, "This was why because I knew one day this would happen."

"Then why come?"

"Because I love you," Sha're whispered, "And I will not let you go through this alone."

Daniel stared at her for a moment before his eyes dropped, "Jack, Sam and Teal'c are all here."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"I want you to touch me."

Sha're sniffed feeling tears fill her eyes, "I want to but I am not allowed."

"I know."

"But I will be here with you," she couldn't stop her tears as they slipped along her cheeks, "I will not leave you alone. I promise."

x

Daniel was sleeping, or she assumed he was. His eyes were closed and his breathing even. His face was now covered in bandages as the effects had spread telling her that time was running out.

"Sha're," Janet's voice made her turn, surprised she hadn't realised the other woman was there, "Why don't you go get something to eat?"

Sha're shook her head, "I promised I would stay here with him."

"He's sleeping," Janet reminded her, "You need to eat and possibly have a quick shower. It will make you feel better."

She winced at her choice of words but Sha're simply nodded.

"Will you stay with him?" Sha're asked softly.

Janet squeezed her hand, "Of course I will."

With a quick glance towards the bed to ensure Daniel was still sleeping Sha're left the room. She picked up some food in the commissary before heading to the VIP room set out, finding clean clothes someone had left for her. Locking the door Sha're stripped and started the shower running, it had been a long time since she'd been under warm running water and as much as she loved her home this was something she had missed about Earth. She opened the shampoo smiling at the familiar scent of green apple filling the air, she felt tears sting her eyes again remembering how much Daniel loved this scent. How he would bury his face in her hair and tell her how the scent made him feel like he was home.

She forced herself to stop crying and began to wash her hair. Once she finished Sha're dried and dressed fixing herself so she could sit by her loves death bed. A gentle knock on the door made her jump, opening the door she found Jack standing there.

"I thought you might want an escort," he told her.

Sha're nodded, "Thank you."

She walked with him through the corridors of the base back to the infirmary; she flinched away when Jack moved to touch her arm in comfort.

"Please, do not," she whispered.

Jack nodded; she knew he understood that she couldn't accept sympathy from him just yet. Not until this was over.

Then she could break.

x

"Sha're?"

The call came just as she walked back into his room.

"I am here," she soothed, taking the seat once more, "It is alright, my love. I have not left."

"You washed your hair," he smiled slightly.

Sha're smiled as well, "Yes. I thought you might like it."

"I always loved your hair," Daniel continued sadly, "I just wish…"

"Shh," she breathed, "There is no point in wishing."

He let out a sigh closing his eyes falling asleep once more. Sha're stood, she disliked the chairs in the infirmary finding them uncomfortable.

"They're torture instruments," Janet said coming over doing a few checks on the machines beside the bed, "Aren't they?"

"Jack always said they were made to ensure people did not visit for longer than you allowed," Sha're replied, "I have to agree."

Janet laughed slightly.

"Is it possible to touch him?" Sha're asked wistfully, "Just for a moment. Just to let him feel that I am here."

Janet shook her head sadly before she tilted her head in thought, "I have an idea."

Sha're frowned confused watching the other woman until she disappeared. Turning back she moved to look down on Daniel seeing a strange expression on the small part of his face but not getting the time to think about it as Janet reappeared.

"Here," Janet offered her a yellow glove.

"What is it?"

"A way to touch him," she explained, sliding the glove on to Sha're's right arm, "It's from the radiation suit and will protect you. But you can only touch him for a moment otherwise it will hurt him."

"Sha're?"

Hearing his voice again Sha're turned and gently rested her hand on his forehead seeing the surprise fill his eyes, "I am here."

Sha're wrapped her arms around her body begging whichever deity might exist that Jacob could heal him. She didn't care about anything else right now; all she wanted was Daniel to be healed.

"Sha're."

Hearing her husband's voice Sha're looked over at the prone figure on the bed but he was unconscious.

"Sha're," his voice came again before a hand touched her arm and the world around her changed.

"Dan'iel," Sha're gasped seeing him standing before her whole and healthy. She threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. After a moment she pulled back and looked around confused that she appeared to be in the Gateroom but she could see the others huddled around the infirmary bed in the distance.

"Sha're," Daniel turned her back to look at him, "You have to tell Jacob to stop."

She stared at him, "No."

"Please," he said, "He's not going to be able to heal me enough and I…"

Sha're frowned when he trailed off looking over to where a familiar woman stood before she turned back to her husband.

"I can do good," Daniel told her, "I can help so much more than I can here."

"But you will not be here," Sha're whispered achingly, "I will never see you again."

Daniel didn't remind her that they hadn't seen one another in almost a year instead he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Please Sha're," he begged, "You have to tell Jacob to stop. You have to let me go."

Sha're shook her head again tears streaming down her cheeks, "I cannot, I am not strong enough to do that."

"You're the strongest person I have ever known," Daniel told her, "I need you to do this one thing for me."

Sha're stared at him, "Why me? Why not Jack? Or Sam? Or Teal'c? Why me? Are you punishing me for leaving?"

"No," Daniel assured her quickly, wiping away her tears, "You're noted as my next of kin. You are the only one who can give instructions on my behalf."

"No."

"Sha're…"

"No!" she cried, "How can you ask me to do this?"

"Because I know that Jacob can't heal me fully," Daniel reminded her, "I know that. But Oma is giving me a chance, a chance to explore the universe and to help in a way I never could before."

Sha're looked at the being standing serenely simply waiting, turning back to Daniel she buried her face against his chest.

"I will come back," Sha're whispered, "I will look after you."

Daniel took her face in his hands, "I can't ask you to do that."

"And I cannot do what you are asking."

x

Sha're turned away from him, confusion filled her when she looked over to the infirmary room where Jacob was trying to heal Daniel. No part of his skin was uncovered; no part was free from the ravages of the radiation and would be scarred forever. Janet had explained it all when they thought about using the healing gauntlet.

But even knowing that Sha're couldn't let him go.

"He is light," a gentle voice said from beside her.

"Dan'iel?" Sha're asked confused before she realised, "Shifu, my son."

Oma nodded.

"And Dan'iel will become light also," Sha're continued sadly, "They will be together?"

Oma nodded once more.

Sha're wrapped her arms around herself again taking in a deep breath.

"Promise me you will look after him," Sha're said trying to keep her voice steady, "He will get into trouble easily."

The ancient being reached out and gently rested her hand against Sha're's cheek comfortingly. Sha're closed her eyes for a moment before she turned to Daniel once more.

"I love you," she whispered before moving towards the infirmary bed, "Jacob, stop."

x

"What?" Jacob asked stunned at Sha're's command.

"Stop," Sha're said again, forcing back the tears threatening her, "We have to let him go."

Jacob looked around the room, "Someone tell me what to do?"

"I told you," Sha're replied sharply, "Janet, your files state that I make any decisions for Dan'iel when he cannot, correct?"

"She's right," Janet said softly.

"You can't," Sam cried, "Dad's helping, he'll live if you let him finish."

Sha're shook her head, "Jacob, I am telling you to stop."

"Do it, Jacob," Jack suddenly spoke up, "It's what he wants."

Jacob stepped back and Sha're felt Jack at her side. She turned seeking comfort from him. Jack held her as the heart monitor stopped beeping and her Daniel was gone.

"Sha're," Jack nudged her motioning her to turn.

Confused Sha're managed to look over at the bed stunned as Daniel turned to light becoming just like Oma. Involuntarily she reached out smiling slightly when he moved to her the tentacle of light wrapping around her wrist for a moment before disappearing.

Several minutes passed and Sha're started out, needing to be alone.

"How could you?" Sam demanded angrily stopping Sha're in her tracks.

"Carter," Jack warned as Sha're turned back.

Sam ignored him, "How could you let him die?"

Sha're stared at the other woman for a moment, "He asked me to," she replied before turning and walking away.

x

The conference room was quiet, Sha're sat in the chair staring down at the Stargate sitting dormant for now. Jack's reflection appeared above her and she turned to him. His face was impassive just like hers.

"Hammond is sorting a few things then he'll send you home," Jack assured her, "I wanted to check if you wanted anything from Daniel's apartment."

Sha're shook her head, "I do not. I need nothing from there."

Jack took the seat beside her, "Are you sure you want to head back to Abydos so soon? We're going to have a service."

"This was why I left," Sha're whispered brokenly, "Because I knew this would happen and I hoped…I hoped it would hurt less."

She squeezed her eyes shut willing her tears not to fall yet, not until she was safe in her home where she could let go.

"I know," Jack soothed, "There's nothing I can say that will make you feel any better no matter how much I want to."

Sha're looked up at him suddenly, "How did you know?"

"What?"

"When Jacob was asking what to do," Sha're clarified, "You told them it was what Daniel wanted. He talked to you also?"

Jack nodded, "Daniel wanted to make sure you had support and to explain to me."

"I am glad," Sha're whispered, "I do not know how I could explain to you and the others."

Jack shrugged, "I don't know how to explain to me. Are you sure you want to go so soon? If you wanted to stick around for a bit I've got a place you can crash."

"Thank you, Jack," Sha're gave a very small smile, "But there is nothing left for me here."

Kasuf walked towards the tent seeing his daughter leave for the first time in about a week. She had returned from Earth her face telling him everything when he greeted her. She had spoken softly telling him what had happened to Daniel while they walked to his home, the moment they were safely inside away from prying eyes she began to cry.

All he could do was hold her as she grieved the loss of her husband.

"Sha're," he walked towards her, "It is good to see you outside."

She gave a small shrug, "I cannot stay in there forever. As much as I wish I could. I am going to visit Naeri."

"Good," Kasuf nodded, "She has been asking for you."

Sha're lightly kissed her father's cheek, "I shall return for dinner."

Without another word she started across the sand towards her friend's home, her sadness palpable following her every step.

x

Naeri smiled when she saw Sha're walking towards her, wrapping her arms around her devastated friend in a tight embrace.

"I am so sorry," Naeri whispered as she held Sha're close, "Do you need anything?"

Sha're shrugged, "I need to stop crying. I had no idea I could cry so much. I miss him. I know we were parted but I miss him."

"Come," Naeri drew her inside, "The children have missed you."

Sha're took a deep breath smiling brightly when Naeri's eldest came running over to her, the little arms open for a hug from his favourite aunt. Taking the boy in her arms Sha're held him close for a moment before letting him go.

She had decided that she would help raise the children of Abydos to know of the men who had freed their world from slavery, and of the one man who had ensured it happen. The man who then chose to remain with people who had been accepted him as a hero and a wife he had just met.

That was her role now and wishing for anything else was pointless.