"Are you sure you want to do this?" I questioned as I made a cup of coffee.

"Ah'm certain, sugarcube." AJ answered. "Ah know y'all are able ta git into the past with that Time Turner feller, so Ah want to see what it's like."

"...I suppose." I finally sighed. "Though you will have to wait a bit, considering that I'll need to pull some strings with the Doctor so we'll have a false identity."

"Alright." She nodded and left the kitchen, while I fidgeted with the coffee machine.

"Goddammit how did she do that?" I looked around, wondering what magic she used to make me agree to her wishes. "This is a fucking horrible idea, but I don't go against my word."

Don't know how the hell her plan got out, but apparently Turner's gonna have a few more passengers than just AJ, Apple, and I.

Now he was carting the three of us, the other Elements (and their lovers), the Princesses (their fuckers were staying behind to run the country), Lyra, Johnnie, Stephen and Soarin (I have no idea how the hell they found out), Major, and Drew's crew. And all of the ponies were human for this, considering they could get abducted by the FBI or something if they went in while ponies.

"What is this?" The Doctor questioned as I shooed everyone in. "I thought it was just you, your wife, and your daughter!"

"This is me needing to say no once in a while." I grumbled, shutting the doors behind me. "What time period are we going to, again?"

"2017." He answered as Jenny flipped some switches on the island. "I do have to warn you about one thing, though."

"And what's that?" I asked, making sure my side arm was still functional. With a needless twirl, I slid it into my hip holster and checked my wallet to make sure I had an open carry licence in it.

"The Taliban are pretty much non-existant at the point in where we're going..." He started.

"Good." Duffy and Blake grunted at the same time.

"Buuut!" He shot a small glare to the two men. "A new group has appeared, and are a lot more aggressive than the Taliban were."

"We'll only be there for two days, so it won't be a problem." I nodded to Jenny, who pulled a few switches. With a whrr, the TARDIS was off through time, sending us to 2017.

"Ah'm feelin' sick, sugarcube!" AJ shouted over the roar. Turner looked around frantically for a bucket.

"At least you didn't barf all over the place." I commented as we slowed to a halt. AJ, in her human form, merely glared at me.

"Ah'll remember that for when ya want sumthin', sugarcube." She threatened, before using a railing to get to her feet.

"Better than hitting gound via drop pod." Major commented as he casually leaned against a railing.

"Where are we supposed to be?" I asked, looking over at Turner.

Apple and I had gotten used to the way the TARDIS moves, so neither of us fell over.

"Untied States." He answered. "Florida, if Jenny punched in the co-ordinants correctly." After he finished, I unbuckled the hip holster and put it away along with the M1911 sitting in it.

"Dad, you do remember you're the one who usually sends us to the wrong place, right?" Jenny shot as Joe rolled around, helping some of the others up.

"That's beside the point." Turner waved a hoof. I knew the two were just ribbing each other, so I didn't comment. Rolling my eyes, I slid a duster on over my DMR and walked over to the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Major doing the same thing.

"Are ya allowed to carry that out there, sugarcube?" AJ questioned as Apple checked the magazine on an M1911.

"It's concealed and I have a CCW permit." I answered. "Not my fault if they can't tell there's a DMR under my jacket. Somebody pulls a weapon on me they're getting a triple tap to the center mass."

"Not even accounting my pistol, either." Apple added, smiling up at me. With a smile back, I opened the door and stepped out...

... Into a pile of horse shit.

"Goddammit." I muttered, looking at the underside of my boot. "Doc, you arse! We're on a horse..." I trailed off as I looked around. There were a few horses grazing in the field, which was normal. But what sent red flags off in my mind was what I saw after I looked past the side of the TARDIS: the farmhouse was almost exactly like the one I used to live in.

Which means...

"Stay back!" I called out, inching my way back. "There could be a sni—" I was cut off by a patch of grass exploding outwards, forcing me to retreat back behind the TARDIS. "Fucking hell, why did I buy that M82?" I groaned.

"What is it?" AJ quietly asked, sticking her head out of the door.

"A female relative of mine." I said, not wanting to poke my head past the edge to check. "And she's got a fifty." I didn't have my ODST helmet, so I wouldn't survive a shot to the head. And I know for a damn fact that's where she aims.

"Why is she shooting at you?" Lyra asked.

"Because I don't look the same as when I last saw her." I answered, before hearing the sound of barking. "Attack dog inbound. Prepare for getting the hell licked out of you." I sighed, taking off my duster.

I was on private property, so I could go around with a fucking M60 and the authorities couldn't say shit.

Around the corner came a german shephard by the name of Groucho. As soon as he got a sniff of me, he let out a wine and jumped, knocking both of us to the ground.

"Oi!" I managed to get out before having to spit, his rough tongue dragging across my face. "Groucho, I know ya missed me but git off!" It took me a moment, but I managed to get him off of me.

"Is he dangerous?" Sunbutt questioned as he sniffed at her, her having moved closer to the door before I got jumped.

"Even less dangerous than Mugs." I said, sitting up and wiping my face off. "And smart as hell, too." Groucho emphasized this by barking and moving around, sniffing everyone else. For some odd reason, he let out a whine when he got to Apple.

"Good dog?" She hesitantly said, looking at me in confusion.

"He's never done that before." I explained, crouching next to him. "What's wrong, boy?" He whined again before backing up from my daughter, then turning tail and bolting out the door.

"... The fuck." Apple oh-so-eliquently stated, shaking her head.

"—oke when you fell on it, Soarin." I heard Stephen say, causing me and Doc to look over. Soarin was holding Stephen's right arm over his shoulder while the Master Sargeant was heavily favoring his left leg.

"How badly does it hurt?" Doc asked, instantly switching into medic mode.

"Not enough to be completely destoryed. I'd know." Stephen let out a short laugh before wincing.

"It needs to be set, right now." Doc said before getting on his knees. "Hold still." He rolled up the right pants leg, showing blue tights.

"You wore your damn Wonderbolts suit?" I rose an eyebrow.

"I can't help it if it's fucking comfortable." He helplessly shrugged, before hissing in pain. Doc reached into his satchel and brought out a splint, some duct tape, and a syringe.

"Still can't believe how many uses this stuff has." Doc muttered, before looking at me. "Help me with the splint, will you?" I knelt next to him and kept it in place while Doc wrapped the tape around a few times, making sure to tighten it just enough. After I was told to let go, Doc tapped the needle a few times before sinking it into his calf and pushing the plunger.

"You'll have to help him walk, Soarin." Doc said, tossing the rest of the duct tape into his satchel and standing up.

"I'm not complaining about having a sexy man help me walk." Stephen grinned. I rolled my eyes and got to my feet as well, while a few of the others looked away awkwardly.

"And no sex until his leg is healed." I muttered in Soarin's ear before walking back over to the door.

"What now?" Apple asked, coming to stand beside me. After a moment of listening through the door, I gently eased it open.

Pointing right between my eyes was the barrel of my ancestor's M1 Garand. Without even saying anything to me, Apple drew her M1911 and aimed it at the woman who was glaring at me.

"Hello Amber." I said with a weary smile. Her eyebrow rose for a moment, before her eyes narrowed.

"You can be an asshole sometimes, Mark." She said before her right index finger tightened and she sent a single .30-06 into my chest, knocking me to the ground.