Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other franchise mentioned.

This has been stewing in my head for a while, so I decided 'Why the hell not?' Yep, this is another one of those SI-OC stories.

Be warned. I'm usually pretty busy, so I'm not likely to have a specific update schedule.

I'm open to constructive criticism, so please let me know if there are any grammatical errors and such. Flames will be ignored. Whining for updates also does not make me update any faster.

*EDIT: I've made some changes to all the chapters, some more noticeable than others.

Chapter 1 - Rebirth

Allow me to regale you with a story. It's a story full of ninjas, rebirth, psychopaths, poor decisions, awesome pranks, Jinchūriki, cranky foxes, crazy Fūinjutsu experiments, double-rainbows, and unicorns that crap glitter.

...Okay, I made up those last two, but rest is true, honest.

Well, to start the story off, let me tell you that being reborn into the world of Naruto was definitely not very high on my list of priorities. Sure, some of you may think 'No way, that'd be awesome! Whooo, ballistic projectiles! Yeah, property damage!' Me on the other hand...not so much.

I'd rather not be on the receiving end of a multitude of crazy-ass jutsu thank you very much.

How did I end up in this predicament you ask? Hell if I know. I'm not even sure if I actually died in my previous life. It was pretty sudden really; One moment everything was normal, and the next I couldn't see or move properly. It didn't take me too long to figure out I was a baby, but when I did you can bet your ass I started shrieking like someone had just told me I had no choice but to watch a marathon of the 'Twilight' movies for the next four days while being forced to solve calculus equations.

I didn't think it could get any worse...well...it did.

It was a couple of weeks, before I could see a bit more clearly and observe my surroundings (At least, I think it was a couple of weeks), and boy were those couple of weeks excruciating. Being a helpless baby was incredibly boring. And humiliating. Definitely humiliating. I won't get into that though considering I'm still trying to pretend it never happened.

Good ol' denial. I was quite good at that, I think.

It also didn't help that I couldn't move properly, though it wasn't particularly surprising considering my condition. Let it be known that babies have the motor control and grace of a neurotic monkey that was binging on narcotics while wielding a sledgehammer. Did I ever mention how much I hate monkeys? Well, I hate them...and Chihuahuas (which I refuse to believe are even dogs, seeing as they look like they were invented by one of those terrible/cheap SciFi movie originals)...and bears...damn bears...those things are assholes.

But I digress.

With my sight much better than it had been, I could finally try to get a better grasp on my situation. Since I couldn't exactly get around, I had no idea where I was. I did notice, however, that people seemed to be speaking Japanese. While I didn't know too much of the language, I did pick out words like 'shinobi' and 'Konoha' being thrown around. Needless to say I was skeptical that I could possibly be in the Narutoverse, and it wasn't until I could finally get a good look at my 'parents' that the hard, terrifying truth came forth.

My 'mother' had a fair complexion, kind violet eyes, and vivid red hair pulled into a messy bun. She had a warm, vibrant, and lively presence that I couldn't help but be comfortable around. She would often sing and talk to me in that language I still didn't totally understand, but at least it broke the monotony. When I could finally see, it didn't take long to notice the symbol on her bright clothes. It was something that looked suspiciously like the Uzumaki symbol much to my growing unease.

I started to speculate on the growing possibility of being in the Narutoverse. Considering I had heard the word 'Konoha' on more than one occasion and my mother seemed to be an Uzumaki, said possibility was increasing. She wasn't Kushina; that much I could tell. So why would an unknown Uzumaki be in Konoha? If this was Konoha anyway.

I decided to store those questions for later when I had more information.

I didn't mind the presence of my new mother, but when I figured out who my new father was...

Mute horror.

My expression at the time probably could be compared to that of someone who was witnessing a train wreck on a suspended bridge that went over a vat of dangerous chemicals. In retrospect, it must've looked hilarious on my baby face...or concerning depending on who you ask.

My new 'father' was Uchiha Madara: Mental Case Extraordinaire!

Just my luck...

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