Title: Handcuffs- They're Actually Quite Helpful

Fandom: Death Note

Disclaimer: I don't own sadly. But if anyone wants to give me L or Near for my birthday or Christmas, that's totally cool with me!

Warnings: This was inspired by reading the Death Note 4-Panel Comic Trick. I was thinking and then this crap kind of spilled out. Crack. Possible shounen-ai. I am totally destroying several (read: a lot) key plot points. Like Light was the First Kira. And dating Misa. And straight. (No guy spends so much time with worrying over his clothes/hair without being even a little gay.

Pairings: Light/L, Mello/Near/Matt

Characters: L, Light, Watari, Near, Matt, Mello

Summary: What if when Light pulled L up, L landed on Light? Takes place during the Death Note 4-Panel Comic Trick.

Note: "means talking" 'means thoughts' means flashback

'Dammit Ryuzaki! How do you always get us into this crap?'Light was pulling on the handcuffs that were digging into his left wrist while glaring at the "Esteemed Detective L" who got him in the position in the first place

"Light-kun, let's take a walk around the grounds, we have some beautiful flowers around this time" L was sitting in his typical crouched position, eating a strawberry while looking at the data about the Kira case for the 22nd time. Light had been counting. Yes, he was that bored. There was nothing new for the case yet anyway. They had been stuck in a stalemate for the past week.

"If I say no, are you going to raise my percentage of being Kira again- wait no, you'll probably raise it either way." Light growled, thinking about the time when he had forcibly dragged L to take a shower and L had raised his percentage for no reason.

"There is a 37% chance that you are Kira and it raises every time you open your mouth, Light-kun." Light raised his perfectly shaped eyebrow to that.

"Is that a hint of snark I hear? Did the L, the same stoic, I-Don't-Know-What-Sex-Is, became snarky?" Light looked behind him to Watari and stated "Record that for your history books. L was just snarky."

L abruptly slammed down the lid of his laptop and stood up. "Be quiet. We are going out to the grounds now, whether you like it or not for that."

Light smirked but stood up. "There is a 3% chance that L has become Kira." L spun around and glared at Light.

"Very funny Light-kun. So funny I forgot to laugh."

Light raised his eyebrow at that. "Did you get that from the internet?" L glared but turned on heel to walk out of the room and building.

That's how the two of them got outside and they fell of this cliff that not even L had known about when L decided he wanted to know what the big "hole" in the ground was for. Leading to where they were now with L hanging by the handcuffs of a cliff so far down they couldn't even see the bottom.

"I never thought these handcuffs would come in handy like this, Light-kun." L said in an oddly coherent voice for someone whose only chance of living was a handcuff that had him attached to his suspect on being Kira.

"Very true." Grunted Light, as he struggled to pull L up. He didn't want to be blamed with L's death if they didn't pull him up. Of course he would probably be dead as well, seeing as the two were connected and all.

"I'm gonna try and pull us up! Don't move!" Light shouted down, bracing himself for what he was about to try.

'Not going anywhere in the first place Light-kun' L thought viciously. "PULL!" he shouted as he felt the chain go taunt and then relax.

"URGH!" Light growled out, feeling the strain on his arm. L went flying and came down in his crouch. "Ryuzaki, nobody better call me uncreative after that." His statement came out with little pants, trying to regain his breath after that when he realized L was on him. He landed on HIM! "Ryuzaki, would you get of me, not that I'm not enjoying it or anything, but you're kind of heavy."

L looked down to realize the provocative position he was in and then blushed as the full sentence of what Light had said sunk in. "Sorry, Light-kun." He shifted to get up but alas, his foot slipped and his hands landed on Light's chest and his lips were pressed against Lights. (A.N. What fan fiction writer would I be if I didn't make L slip?) L's face flushed and he pulled his lips of Lights.

Light was frozen in shock. One moment L was off a cliff, next he was kissing Light. And was L blushing? 'L, blushing? The world as we know it has come to an end. But he looks so fuckable! Bad Light, don't think about screwing your best friend, focus!' "Ryuzaki, are you blushing?"

L's eyes squeezed shut, too embarrassed to look at Light's face of disgust. When he heard the "Ryuzaki." He braced himself for the worse. He was not expecting that though. "Yo-you're not mad about the kiss?"

Light looked at L with a questioning face, to realize that one, he had his eyes shut. Two that had probably been his first kiss. "Ryuzaki, was that your first kiss?"

"N-no." L stuttered, trying to save face.

"Hahaha, that kind of funny that you, a 22 year-old hasn't had a first kiss but all three of your heirs have and their only 14/15?"

"Near had his first kiss? I did not know this." L was looking a little shocked and a little green at the thought of the 14 year-old kissing someone.

"According to my sources-"

"You mean the Devil Trio?"

"Yes, I mean them, according to them, they are in a relationship all three of them and Mello was Nears first kiss."

"You only said Near. Who was Mello's?"

"Matt. And Mello was Matts."

"Aa. Wait, they are in a three-way relationship? Is that even possible?"

"Yes. I have some friends back in japan who are in a six-way relationship. It's confusing but for them it works so what can you do but accept it? Stop trying to distract me. Was that your first kiss?"

"Yes."

"Well that just won't do. An accident as the first kiss? No, no, no. That just won't do."

Light grabbed L's chin and pulled his head closer to his. He smirked and then placed he lips gently on L's. He then slowly started to move his lips so he could poke his tongue at L's lips.

L gasped at the feel of Light's smooth lips that tasted slightly like peppermint move against his. He then felt something wet caress his lips, as though asking for permission to go in. He gasped and the tongue slipped in. He pulled back, flushed and half-hard. "Light-kun, what was that?"

"Have you ever heard of French-kissing?"

"N-no."

"That's what it was." Light stood up and brushed of his pants and held out his hand for L to take. "Let's go back to our room and I can show you the finer points of making out." He looked down to where L's member (A.N. I feel disgusting and like Aniki writing that. I'm literally shuddering as I write this. Maybe Aniki will write it for me… Hm…) was straining against his pants. L blushed but took Light's hand and stood up.

"Yes, shall we go? I shall disable the cameras for a little bit so Watari-san doesn't see."

I feel so disgusting having written out the last part. I can't believe Aniki likes doing this stuff. Bleh! Wow, now I know how you really feel. I'm not sending this back so he can add more comments. I'm done. He already read it.

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