Story 16: Not Alone

Epilogue

Years and years passed. Merlin and Morgana stayed as close as ever. Sure, there were the nights where their tempers were short because they were tired of hiding. There were nights that ended with Merlin storming from her chambers in anger. There were nights that ended with Morgana crying into her pillow. But those nights always ended the next night when Merlin entered her chambers. They would both apologize and move on. For years they played the same game, night after night.

They also coped with the fear. The fear of getting caught. And there was always the fear that Morgause would come back. Morgana didn't know Morgause very well, so she wasn't sure how far she would go to get Morgana to go with her. But as the years passed, that fear faded like a long forgotten memory.

But then Uther died. When Merlin found out, he was hiding behind Morgana's changing screen. A knight had knocked on her door to give her the news. It hadn't been unexpected, not exactly. The king had become gravely ill, but Gaius had been working on him night and day, trying to cure what was plaguing him.

The moment the knight left, Merlin jumped to his feet. "I have to go to Arthur," he said quickly. Morgana nodded. She understood and she expected nothing less from him.

Merlin practically sprinted to the king's chambers. He knew that's where he would find Arthur. Merlin considered knocking, but he knew Arthur too well for that. He knew there was nothing he could do to help Arthur at that moment so Merlin sat down outside of the door. These were Arthur's last moments with his father. He would want to spend them just with him. Sure enough, after a moment, Gaius and the two guards left the king. When Gaius saw Merlin he walked towards him.

"Arthur wishes to be alone?" Merlin asked. Gaius nodded. "I'm going to stay here." Gaius nodded again. It didn't surprise him. Arthur was Merlin's destiny, and he was also his friend. Regardless of whether Arthur wanted his help or not, Merlin was going to be there for him.

Early the next morning when the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, Arthur emerged from his father's bedroom. Merlin had been dozing off and he jerked awake when he heard the creak of the door.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked. Arthur squinted as the first rays of sunshine shone through the window. It seemed so bright. "It's a new day."

Merlin nodded as he stood. His legs felt a little wobbly.

"You been here all night?" Arthur asked him surprised.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone," Merlin told him.

Arthur smiled. "You're a loyal friend, Merlin," Arthur said softly. Merlin never failed to amaze him with his devotion and loyalty. Arthur knew he could trust him.

"I'm so, so sorry about your father Arthur," Merlin said. "I can't imagine how you are feeling right now."

"No, you can't," Arthur agreed.

"If you need anything, you need only ask," Merlin told him.

Arthur nodded. He was not okay right now. He was far from it. There was a gaping hole in him that had once been filled by his father's love. He couldn't believe his father had died. He was too young to be king, he didn't feel ready.

"Hungry?" Merlin asked him. Arthur shook his head. He had no appetite. "You've got to eat. I'm going to fetch you some breakfast."

For the next few days, Arthur moved on autopilot. The weight of his new responsibility was nearly crushing him. He was exhausted all the time and he couldn't imagine how Merlin was doing it. Merlin left after he fell asleep each night and was there to wake him up each morning.

Three weeks after Arthur was crowned king, he figured out how Merlin was managing it. Arthur woke up fully rested for the first time since his father died. The sun was high in the sky, showing he had slept the morning away. Arthur frowned. He figured Merlin must have overslept. He wouldn't be surprised. He had been working from dawn until dusk, picking up extra tasks just to help Arthur get through his own mountain of work.

Arthur stretched and rolled out of bed. He dressed himself and then went to visit Morgana. They had been planning on dining together for breakfast, but since he had overslept, he was hoping they could reschedule for lunch.

Arthur knocked on Morgana's door, but didn't hear a response. He knocked again, but still nothing.

Arthur tentatively opened the door, freezing where he was when he opened the door. Morgana was fast asleep on her bed. In a chair next to her bed, Merlin was also fast asleep. He was holding her hand and his head rested close to her stomach. But that's not what shocked Arthur so much.

It was the ring on Morgana's finger. There wasn't anything particularly spectacular about it. It was a beautiful ring, but not quite as extravagant as the jewelry Morgana usually wore. It was the type someone with Merlin's pay could afford if he saved up for years, and most importantly it was one that he had never seen Morgana wear.

Arthur knew what this meant, but he scarcely dared to believe it.

Arthur coughed loudly to clear his throat. Morgana woke up first. She smiled when she saw Merlin. Then she looked around, her eyes widening when she noticed Arthur. She sat up, shaking Merlin in the process. Her eyes never left Arthur.

Merlin woke up and looked at her confused. That had been a less than pleasant wake up call. He followed Morgana's gaze and all the color left his face. He was dead. He was beyond dead. Arthur was going to kill him.

"Care to explain what is going on?" Arthur asked.

"I… um… it's not what it looks like… We… I mean I… that is to say," Merlin stammered. He had no idea how to get himself out of this one.

"We are getting married," Morgana said strongly. She never once looked away from Arthur. "I love Merlin, I have for years. Out of respect for your father, we kept it hidden, but I will not do that anymore."

"He's a servant," Arthur said.

"I'm not ashamed of him. Merlin may be a servant, but he is a good man," Morgana said slowly. "His worth is not measured by the job he holds, but by the good things he has done. With or without your blessing, we are getting married."

"Arthur, I know I cannot offer her as much as a man of noble birth could, but I can offer her my love and a lifelong promise to always be there for her. Isn't that more important?" Merlin asked. His eyes found Morgana's and something passed between them that Arthur had never seen before. It was a look of such love and compassion, a look that said if the world were falling apart, they would be okay as long as they had each other.

"I warned you," Arthur said quietly. "I warned you that you could not let your affections for Morgana be known."

"You did," Merlin agreed. "But you were too late."

"That long?" Arthur asked shocked.

Merlin nodded. "Please," he whispered. "If you won't do it for me, do it for Morgana... Or for Gwen. I think she's going to be the most excited to hear that we are finally engaged."

"Gwen knew?" Arthur asked surprised.

"Of course Gwen knew," Morgana said, rolling her eyes. "Merlin accidentally fell asleep in here one night, maybe six years ago. Gwen walked in on us. I've never heard someone squeal so loudly."

"She had already had her suspicions, but what she saw confirmed it," Merlin added. "And anyway. Does my being a servant really matter? Everyone can see that you are in love with Gwen. Now that you are king, are you going to marry her like you promised all those years ago? Or are you going to ignore her because she is a servant?"

Arthur closed his eyes. Merlin's words voiced the argument he had been having with himself since his father died.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about Gwen," he admitted.

"You're going to marry her," Morgana said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, because really it was.

"Listen to your heart. If I've learned anything, it's that your heart really does know what is best for you," Merlin told Arthur sincerely. He glanced at Morgana affectionately.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You really can be such a girl sometimes Merlin," Arthur said dryly. "I will grant you my blessing, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. You shouldn't have kept this from me."

"Would you have told your father?" Merlin asked.

"I would have had to," Arthur told him.

"Then we don't regret our secrecy," Morgana said with a shrug.

Arthur rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath. He began to leave, still trying to wrap his head around what he saw. "Oh Arthur?" Morgana called. Arthur turned to look at her. "Do not wait much longer to talk to Gwen. She has the patience, but even she will not wait forever."

Arthur nodded. He walked out, leaving Morgana and Merlin. He could barely process what he had just seen. Merlin and Morgana? But the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't believe he had missed it. The clues were always there, he was just too oblivious to acknowledge it.

Arthur knew that he was going to grant them their wish. He would allow them to marry, hell he would even marry them himself if they asked.

For a long time, Arthur just walked. He didn't have a real destination in mind, but it didn't surprise him when he ended up at Gwen's house. She was the person he felt most comfortable with. She was the person he wanted by his side as he ruled this kingdom. He chose Gwen.

Three days later, Merlin and Morgana married. It was exactly what they had seen in the crystal all those years ago. Arthur threw a huge feast for them to celebrate their union. It was at the end of that feast that Arthur finally manned up and asked Gwen to marry him. She said yes.

Merlin was the happiest man alive during that time. It seemed like everything was finally coming together. Arthur was living up to his destiny. He had married Gwen and was in the process of bringing the land into a new age of prosperity. He hadn't legalized magic and Merlin hadn't told him about his abilities, but Merlin believed that maybe one day he would. Arthur's treatment of those who studied magic was not as cruel as his father's, but he still believed that magic was evil. Merlin didn't know how to plant the seed of doubt in Arthur's mind and none of the plans he and Morgana had concocted were realistic enough to attempt.

Everything changed when Morgana had a baby. About two months after they had married, the sickness started. Merlin and Morgana had feared that she had caught the same illness that Uther had, but Gaius quickly appeased them. They were so excited to have a child. But when the baby was born, all hell broke loose.

In retrospect, they should have seen this coming. Naturally the child of two people that had magic would be born with magic. The first time Taki used magic, Merlin and Morgana were terrified. Arthur had been kind enough to allow them to live in the castle after they got married and now they had a baby that could literally tear apart a room when she got hungry. Merlin and Morgana withdrew after that. They only allowed Gaius in to see them. They didn't know what else to do. They couldn't risk that Arthur would kill their precious child because of her magic.

It was inevitable that Arthur would find out. He wanted to meet the baby and they could only delay him so long. He was the king after all.

It was the night before Taki reached her six month anniversary. Arthur had had enough. He had gotten a glimpse of the baby when she was born and hadn't seen her since. Gwen had prevented him from doing anything earlier, but even she had lost her patience. She wanted to meet the child as much as Arthur did.

Arthur banged on the door to the chambers that Merlin and Morgana shared. He was not going to take no for an answer. He ordered the guards to stay outside when he and Gwen entered.

Merlin and Morgana looked up when they heard someone enter. Arthur gasped when he saw them. Both of them looked like they hadn't slept in weeks. No wonder they were refusing visitors. Arthur wouldn't want to be seen looking like that either.

"Arthur," Merlin said anxiously. He tightened his hold on his daughter. The moment Taki had seen Arthur she began to squirm and reach for him. She wanted him to hold her.

Arthur smiled when he saw the baby. She was huge now. So much bigger than she had been when she was born. She was wearing a purple dress that pooled at her bare feet. She kept wiggling trying to free herself from Merlin's grasp.

"Can I hold her?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea," Merlin started to say. Taki wasn't having that though. She started hysterically crying. Merlin and Morgana moved immediately. Merlin placed Taki and the carpeted floor and grabbed a pillow. He looked around ready for stuff to start flying around. But as soon as her crying had started, it stopped.

Merlin looked around to see Arthur holding Taki. He held his breath, praying with all his might that they might somehow get through this. That somehow Taki wouldn't use magic until Arthur left.

It was going miraculously well. Taki hadn't made a sound while Arthur was holding her. Merlin and Morgana were grateful for that, because usually her grunting and crying caused her to do magic.

It was too good too last. Just as Arthur and Gwen were preparing to leave and Merlin and Morgana were starting to think they were going to make it, there was a clanging sound. Taki scrunched up her little face.

Two men, clad entirely in black burst into the room. One immediately ran towards Arthur. Arthur had to choose between drawing his sword or protecting the child. Arthur looked at the innocence in the child that he was holding and he turned his back, preparing himself for the agony he was sure would follow.

Taki began screaming and suddenly Arthur heard two loud thumps. He turned around to see the two men on the ground. He could tell they were alive by the rise and fall of their chests.

Gwen was staring at the baby he was holding with a mixture of horror and awe. Arthur felt like he was missing something. "What happened?" He asked.

Morgana began to cry. "Please Arthur. It wasn't her," Morgana sobbed.

"Um?" Arthur asked uncertainly.

"It was the child," Gwen said quietly. She hadn't taken her eyes off of the baby. She wasn't quite sure what to make of her. "She knocked them out."

Arthur nearly dropped Taki, but at the last moment, he tightened his grip. He looked at the baby in his arms. "Are you sure?" He asked uncertainly.

"Arthur, it's not her fault. She couldn't help it," Merlin said. He wasn't crying… yet, but he looked close to tears. "If you must punish someone for her magic, punish me. She can't help that she was born with these powers."

"I don't understand. How is it that she can have these powers? How is this possible?" Arthur asked. He felt like there was something very important that he was missing.

"Because she is like me," Merlin said softly. "I have magic. I was born with it, just as she was. Please, spare her. I willingly place myself at your mercy."

"No," Arthur said, shaking his head. "You do not have magic. I would know."

Merlin closed his eyes. With a flick of his wrist, Merlin summoned the water pitcher that was on the table near their bed. He opened his eyes and looked at Arthur. "Please. Spare my daughter."

Arthur opened and closed his mouth several times before he handed the child to Morgana and walked out. He needed to think.

Similarly to when Arthur had first seen Merlin and Morgana together, he just walked. This time though, he couldn't go to Gwen. He walked the familiar path to the willow tree, his willow tree. The tree wasn't planted far from the castle. It was a tree he had ended up in more times than he could count when he had been a child. When he was younger, he had loved the sense of privacy the tree entitled him to. No one would know where he was unless they stood at the trunk of the tree and looked up.

Arthur stared at the leaves that sprouted around him. They were all different yet they formed together to create a barrier between him and the outside world. They made him feel safe.

For a long time, Arthur just sat there and thought. He had no idea what he was going to do about Merlin. Merlin was his manservant. He had trusted him. For years, he had served Arthur, never seeming to be anything less than the most loyal friend Arthur had. Had Merlin just been biding his time, waiting for the opportune moment to kill Arthur? As much as he loathed the magic that Merlin had, Arthur didn't believe that. He could still remember with clarity the times Merlin had nearly sacrificed his life for Arthur. How could he possess magic? Merlin was his only friend! How could he possess magic?

Arthur screamed from frustration and punched the thick tree trunk. He had probably broken his hand, but he didn't care.

"Did that make you feel better?" A voice asked from the base of the tree.

Arthur looked down, shocked to see Morgana sitting down at the bottom of the tree. She looked comfortable as if she had been there for a long time. "How long have you been here?" Arthur asked her.

Morgana glanced at the sky that was hidden from Arthur. "My guess would be about two hours. I figured you would need some time to brood," she explained.

Arthur frowned. It was dangerous for him to have not noticed Morgana. "How did you find me?" Arthur asked.

"I'm not as oblivious as you would believe," Morgana said, looking at Arthur sharply. "Whenever you fought with your father, this is where you sought sanctuary. I never said anything to him or to you, because I knew you needed this time to be alone. I figured this is where you would be after you fought with Merlin."

Arthur groaned. "If you are here to convince me to spare him…" Arthur began.

"I'm here to do no such thing," Morgana said. "If you sentence him to death, we will just leave. We have it in our powers to do so. I'm here to tell you everything I think you need to know to make this decision."

Morgana began to climb the tree. She had tried it once long ago and hadn't very much cared for the way the branches had scratched her face. She hated it just as much now, but it was necessary.

"Merlin is a good man," Morgana said simply.

"Is this you not trying to convince me? Because you're doing a lousy job," Arthur commented dryly.

"Do you have any intention of sentencing Taki to death?" Morgana asked him.

"No! Of course not," Arthur told her shocked. She couldn't help that she was born with these powers.

"And why not?" Morgana asked.

"She's just an infant. She can't help that she had these powers," Arthur explained. "How can I believe that there is evil in a child's heart?"

"So why would you be considering having Merlin murdered?" Morgana asked.

"That's different," Arthur said annoyed. "Merlin's older. He is responsible for his actions!"

"So when Taki is older, are you going to have her executed?" Morgana pressed.

Arthur looked away from Morgana. He knew she made sense, but he didn't want to listen. "Merlin has lied to me for years," he whispered. That's what it all came down to. That's what hurt Arthur the most. Not the fact that Merlin possessed magical powers, but that he had lied to him.

"He didn't have a choice," Morgana told him. "He didn't know what would happen if he told you the truth. He couldn't risk that you would have him exiled or executed. If that happened, he wouldn't be able to protect you."

"Protect me?" Arthur asked indignantly. "Why would I need his protection?"

"Grow up Arthur," Morgana shouted angrily. "Do you really not see everything he does for you? I can't even begin to tell you how many fights we had because he had to go and risk his neck for you. I've nearly lost him so many times and he believed it all worth it for you!"

"Then why would he just sacrifice himself?" Arthur asked bitterly. "Why would he just turn himself in? If I'm so important to him."

"Because for the first time, Merlin found something that is more important than you," Morgana whispered. "For the first time, Merlin was willing to sacrifice himself for someone else. You have no idea how much having a child changes you. You are Merlin's destiny and he would rather die than see you hurt, but Taki is his daughter. He would move mountains if it meant that she would be okay."

"And you're okay with that? That he loves his daughter more than he loves you?" Arthur asked skeptically.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Morgana answered honestly. "When I fell in love with Merlin, I never thought I could feel that much love for one person. But then Taki joined our family. You compare a dying candle light to a roaring inferno. I love Merlin, I truly do. But that doesn't compare to how I feel for Taki. She is my daughter. Merlin and I, we created that beautiful little girl. She is entirely reliant on us. How do you not love someone like that with all of your being? It's two very different kinds of love, but there is no doubt which one is stronger."

Arthur frowned. "I don't understand," he admitted. "But perhaps that is because I do not have a child." Arthur closed his eyes. "This doesn't change the fact that Merlin lied to me, but I guess I understand why he did it." He opened his eyes and looked at Morgana. "I'm not going to kill him, but I don't think I can ever trust him again."

Morgana pursed her lips. "Do you remember when you got attacked by the questing beast?" Morgana asked.

"Of course," Arthur said. He could remember the strangest feeling of being in his body and out of his body at the same time. He fought to return to consciousness but there was a solid barrier that he couldn't not break no matter what he tried.

"Let's say that you were actually dying and that nothing could cure the venom of the questing beast. Say that someone went to the Isle of the Blessed and bargained with the High Priestess of the Old Religion. Say that someone was willing to sacrifice their own life for yours. And say that the only reason they survived was because they killed the very witch that had tried to kill you so many times," Morgana told him. "Do you believe that person to be evil? Do you think you could trust them after they were willing to die so you could live?"

"You expect me to believe that Merlin was willing to sacrifice his life to bring me back from the dead?" Arthur asked. "No. Gaius created a potion that was an antidote to the venom."

"Yeah. A potion he mixed with the waters from the Cup of Life. Arthur, Merlin is a good man. If you look in your heart, you'll see that. Think about everything he has done for you," Morgana told him.

She began to descend the tree. When she was at the bottom, she looked up at Arthur. "Oh Arthur?" She asked. Arthur looked down at her. "If you are going to punish Merlin, you are going to have to punish me to."

Morgana shook her hand and caused the leaves around Arthur to blow despite the lack of wind.

With that, Morgana walked away. Arthur stared after her angrily. Did anyone not have magic? Arthur wondered if Gwen was hiding secret powers as well.

Arthur stayed where he was sitting in the tree long after night had fallen and through the night. When he finally emerged, the first signs of morning were gracing the skies. Merlin was leaning against the wall not far from the tree, fast asleep.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked.

Merlin jerked awake and blinked sleepily. He looked around as if he were trying to remember where he was. When he saw Arthur, he climbed to his feet. He swayed slightly. He had only just fallen asleep and was exhausted from everything that had happened. "Sire," he said. "It's a new day."

"Have you been here all night?" Arthur asked him.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone," Merlin told him.

For a moment, Arthur stared at Merlin. It was the same thing Merlin had said to him after his father had died. Merlin wasn't here to beg him for forgiveness. He was here, because he cared about Arthur and even if Arthur wouldn't ask for it, he wanted to help him. In that moment, Arthur knew he could trust Merlin, because he knew Merlin would always be there for him. So Arthur smiled. "You're a loyal friend Merlin," he told him. He had never spoken those words with such sincerity as he did in that moment.

Merlin's answering smile was huge and lit up his whole face. "Thank you sire," he answered.

I really hope you enjoyed reading this! Feedback is always welcome.