So, I just finished my grad school semester and this idea wouldn't leave me. I've been listening to this song literally on repeat for DAYS... and well, I love angst and sad stuff (not sure what that says about me?) So, I had to write it down and get it out there and see what you guys thought...
Flashbacks are in italics.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect (But it'd be really aca-awesome if I did!)
Beca stood overlooking the L.A. night sky as she laced the rim of her Jack and coke. She still wasn't much of a drinker, but tonight, it seemed appropriate. She walked over to the fireplace and gently lined the edges of the six Grammies along the mantle. This was her dream. She pushed back the tears she could feel forming behind her eyes. Beca Mitchell didn't cry.
She seemingly had everything.
The career.
The penthouse apartment right in the middle of L.A. It was her dream.
Except for the one thing she lost. The one thing that would never truly belong to her. No matter how successful she was, she still felt like she didn't belong. She had fucked things up too much. It had been five years today, and each day the pain in her heart grew deeper.
Wake up lonely with you by my side
One more night it doesn't feel
There are movies playing in your eyes
You dream of our fortunes
Broken from her thoughts, she heard her phone buzz across the room. With a roll of her eyes, she placed her drink along the mantle and went to pick it up. She couldn't avoid her responsibilities forever.
"What's up?" Beca spoke into her iPhone, knowing exactly who was calling.
"Well hello to you too, Beca." Jesse scoffed into the phone.
"Look, unless this is life or death I'm really not in the mood for a lecture tonight… so just get to it loser." Beca spoke out grabbing her drink from the mantle taking small sips of the beverage, hoping it'd help ease the ache in her heart.
"Beca Mitchell, don't you dare hang up on me!" Jesse yelled.
"If you weren't my manager, I wouldn't have even answered… Come on Jess, seriously." Beca wasn't in the mood for this tonight.
"Okay, well you are all set up for the studio tomorrow morning with P!nk, she wanted to let you know that she's bringing Willow because Cary is still out of town. Then, you have Fallon Wednesday night; you're still good with that, right? It's just the basics… talking about the album, etc." Jesse spewed out.
"Yes, Jesse. Fine… that's fine. Can I go now?" Beca huffed out.
"I cleared your schedule for next weekend…." Jesse hesitantly added, knowing this would be a sensitive topic.
"I knew there was another reason for this call…. Just say it Jesse… what's next weekend?" Beca could feel her palms start to sweat and her heart pounding in her chest.
"Aubrey and I picked next weekend for the engagement party since it aligned with everyone's schedules…" Jesse spoke out.
"No… No way." Beca said shaking her head adamantly. Absolutely no way.
"Your skinny ass is going to be at that party. I'm serious Beca, this is really important to both of us, and you're really important to Aubrey and I. There's no way in hell you're missing it." Jesse bit out getting annoyed with his best friend. It wasn't often that he pushed Beca to do something she didn't want to. But this was different, this was his engagement party.
Beca hesitated before answering. Jesse was wonderful to her for so long, and she and Aubrey had even grown close, despite their differences. She knew she couldn't miss it.
"Should I even ask the inevitable question…?" Beca whispered out into the phone, already knowing the answer.
"Do you really need me to answer that, Beca? She's Bree's best friend…" Jesse spoke back in the same soft tone, knowing how difficult this was for her.
"Right…" Beca sighed into the phone, she knew this day would eventually come but it didn't mean she wasn't dreading it.
"Beca…. Maybe this will be good you know? It's been five years. It's probably time… she was your best friend at one time." Jesse spoke out looking down to make sure Beca hadn't hung up on him.
"Maybe… I-I will talk to you later Jess. I will be there… but only for you and Aubrey." Beca replied, an unfamiliar feeling creeping in her throat as she felt the tears threatening to escape from her eyes.
"Thank you Bec, you know we love you." Jesse added.
"Yeah, yeah… I will see you tomorrow." Beca desperately needed to end this conversation.
"Oh… and Beca, Happy Birthday…" Jesse added before hanging up the phone.
Sitting her phone back down, she noted that it was 12:10 a.m., making it officially her birthday. She peered out at the beautiful night skyline and downed the rest of her drink, clutching the necklace around her neck.
She mumbled to herself, "Happy fucking birthday, Beca. You've certainly made a mess of it…"
She couldn't help but think of that Spring night five years ago that she fucked everything up so badly.
But you're wrong
I don't belong to you
They did it. They actually did it. They won the ICCA's.
"Holy shit! Can you guys believe it? We crushed those cabbage patch kids!" Fat Amy announced as they left the stage, trophy in hand.
"Of course I can believe it! We're going out tonight bitches!" Stacie announced.
"No way…" Beca groaned out, she was tired! Weeks of prepping for the final number had exhausted her.
"She's going. Besides, it's her birthday" Chloe added kissing Beca's cheek and linking their arms as they continued walking to the lobby.
"Damnit, Beale. How do you know everything about me?" Beca gaped, they'd become extremely close over the course of the year. It still surprised her sometimes how easily she let Chloe in her personal space. She was never one for affection, and ever since that shower incident… Beca had found it very hard keeping her attraction for the redhead in check. It would only make things messy. That didn't mean she didn't get jealous of the random guys Chloe made out with, but she never kept them around… and they never stayed. So, there was that.
"Shortstack! It's your birthday?! We are definitely going out now!" Fat Amy replied pulling her fake ID out of her pocket. "Let's do this aca-bitches!" Before any of the other girls could reply, Amy was vertical running right for the bus. They nodded their heads and burst into laughter at her antics.
Guess Beca wasn't getting out of going out.
The girls had gotten back to Barden and had agreed to meet in a half hour on the quad to go out to the club. Aubrey and Chloe had dragged Beca with them to their apartment in fear of her trying to get out of going out.
"I look ridiculous…" Beca said looking herself up and down in the mirror as she pulled at the top of her shirt. She was decked out in skinny jeans, a tight low-cut black shirt and some black pumps. "Are you seriously going to make me go out in this?"
"Beca, you look hot! You should rock this look more often." Aubrey said with a nudge to the girls shoulder. Chloe glared her eyes at Aubrey, like yeah. Beca looked hot, REALLY hot. But why did Aubrey feel the need to say that to her?
"No way… I'm changing." Beca said trying to make a dash for the door to change.
Chloe latched onto her arm and effectively spun her back in front of the mirror. "You are definitely not changing, you do look ridiculous. Ridiculously hot!" Chloe added with a grin.
"You're funny with the puns Beale…" Beca turned red upon noticing Chloe stare at her body from head-to-toe. Why would Chloe want to stare at her?
"Okay, give me five minutes to change and we can go meet them." Chloe added with a rub to Beca's arm. "Aubrey, do not let her change!" She yelled from the doorway.
When Chloe remerged, Beca was at a loss for words. She was wearing a very form-fitting light blue dress. She had done her eye makeup dark and smoky, and if it was possible it made her eyes look even bluer. She had beige tall heels on to match her skin tone. Her unruly red locks framed her face perfectly. "So, I take it you approve then, Mitchell?" Chloe added with a grin noticing Beca staring.
"Chloe… you… uh-uh, you look great. Hot. You look hot." Beca added clearing her throat.
"You two…." Aubrey added with a smile shaking her head in amusement as she went to grab her purse from her room.
Chloe extended her hand and placed a box in Beca's palm.
"What's this?" Beca looked down confused.
"Your birthday present, silly. Open it." Chloe added all but bouncing on her toes in excitement.
Beca couldn't help but find it all adorable.
She opened the box, and there lay a silver necklace with an arrow. Beca grazed her fingers over the charm in amazement.
"I know you hate your birthday… but I figured this would be something useful. To both of us." Chloe added touching her fingers to her own neck to show Beca that she indeed had the same necklace.
"Chloe… you didn't need to do this…" Beca added as her voice threatened to fill with emotion.
"I know, but it's fitting you know. Always follow the arrow and where it leads. It screamed Beca Mitchell." Chloe added with a giggle.
Beca enveloped Chloe in a bone crushing hug and tried to not think about the letter on her desk and what it meant.
"Thank you Chlo, I love it… no one does nice things for me like you do." Beca whispered outside the shell of Chloe's ear into her hug.
"You deserve the best, Beca… you're the best…" Chloe added pulling back from her and lightly brushing a few strands of brunette hair from Beca's face. Their hands were still linked, and in that moment…
"Uh… sorry guys, am I interrupting?" Aubrey said with a grin.
"No Bree, I was just giving Beca her birthday present. Let's go get this party started." Chloe added in typical Chloe fashion as she dragged Beca out the door still linked by their hands.
It occurred to Beca that this probably wasn't normal friend behavior. But, maybe it was. She was never really good at the whole friend thing…
The moon is the only friend I have outside
One more drink and I'll be healed
I told you the words and then knew it was a lie
I wish I could offer an appeal
Three hours later and Beca was good and intoxicated. The Bellas had insisted on buying her tequila shots. She didn't like getting drunk around Chloe, because she tended to get very affectionate and jealous. And that wasn't very Beca-badass-Mitchell.
The beat blasted through the club loudly to Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty" and all Beca wanted was to check up on Chloe, I mean it had been like… hours since she had seen her. Okay. Probably not hours, probably just a few minutes, but time is irrelevant when you're this intoxicated. Chloe had been trying to get Beca out on the dance floor all night with no luck, so she had made her way out to the floor with Aubrey and Stacie. She couldn't help the jealousy that crept in her throat at seeing a few guys approach the girls.
"Whoa…. Aca-awkward… Stare much shorty?" Fat Amy approached Beca at the bar with more shots in her hand.
"What are you talking about?" Beca said grabbing the shot and downing it.
"Whoa, easy there killa." Cynthia Rose said grabbing the other shot.
"I'm talking about your massive toner for red over there; it's about as obvious as Bumper's love for me." Fat Amy replied.
"I was just checking on them you know… making sure those guys weren't making all of them uncomfortable." Beca added connecting her eyes with the redhead on the dance floor who was intently staring back at Beca.
"What are you waiting for, Bec? She looks creeped out by that dude dancing near her… go dance with her. Make your last night count." Cynthia Rose added as she watched Beca staring at Chloe.
She hadn't told Chloe yet… she actually had only told Cynthia Rose and Amy about the letter she had gotten. She knew Chloe would be proud of her, but pissed off for not telling her sooner.
"You're right. Let's do this shot!" Beca said as they all took another shot to her heads and downed it. The alcohol burned the back of her throat and her head felt foggy.
Before she knew what she was doing… she was approaching Chloe on the dance floor coming up to her from behind snaking her arms around Chloe's middle.
"Jesus, where have you been Bec? I've been trying to get rid of this creep." Chloe said leaning her head back against Beca knowing it was her.
"Well mi'lady. You haven't been trying very hard…" Beca said still glaring at the idiot trying to dance near Chloe.
"Is Beca Mitchell jealous?" Chloe added turning in Beca's arms with a full-on smirk.
"Of that douche? No. What a toole." Beca scoffed looking away and at the frat boy with big muscles.
"It's kinda adorable, now keep dancing with me to get rid of him, please." Chloe added back.
They danced against each other. Chloe allowing her leg to slip between Beca's as she continued grinding lower and lower. A lump was building in Beca's throat that she couldn't contain as she lightly pressed her fingers through Chloe's hair. The whole thing was just all too sensual.
Until Chloe got even closer and wrapped a tight hold around her waist, "All I really need to understand is… When you talk dirty to me." Chloe whispered the lyrics of the song in Beca's ear softly, making the hair on her neck stand up. She could feel Chloe's breath in her ear and she had too much alcohol in her system, it was all way too dangerous.
"Fuck. Chloe… you need to stop that." Beca breathed out lolling her head back as Chloe continued whispering against her ear.
But Chloe didn't stop. Instead she got to the rap breakdown and Beca swore she was unraveling right there in the middle of the crowded nightclub.
"Seriously Chloe, you need to stop…" Beca added losing whatever strength to deny her of her actions slowly.
"Come on, Beca. You love this… I know it." Chloe added taking the skin of Beca's ear in her mouth.
"Mmmmph…." Beca moaned losing it. "Chlo… please…."
"Take me to your room, Beca. I know Kimmy Jin is already gone for the semester…You've got one birthday present left…" Chloe said pulling Beca's wrist.
They hadn't crossed that line, though a few times they had come close, only when this much alcohol was involved. But this felt different somehow…
"Chloe…. You're killing me right now…" Beca slurred out, very aware of how drunk she was, and very aware of every touch Chloe was giving her.
As they tried stepping out of the club, a hand caught on the small of Chloe's back.
"Hey beautiful, can I at least get your number?" The frat boy said trying to charm his way into Chloe's heart. Beca simply rolled her eyes, what a douche.
"Uh. No." Chloe said as she took Beca's hand ahead and tried to lead them out. Beca protectively placed her hands on the small of Chloe's back to try to usher her out.
"Come on…. Give it a chance red." He flirted back trying to touch her arm.
Beca stepped in front of Chloe, "she said no, asshole. Now drop it." She added pulling her back and through the club as they walked wordlessly to Beca's dorm, never without their hands breaking.
Chloe and Beca had this…. Thing. It couldn't be explained to anyone else it was just… there. It was magnetic. And electric. And terrifying all at once. And unspoken. But tonight it seemed… boundaries were about to get crossed.
Beca chanced a glance over at Chloe, her lips were full and her cheeks were tinged a little pink from the brisk air. She was breathtaking. They approached Beca's hall and Beca's head was spinning from all the alcohol and from Chloe. It was hard to breathe.
Chloe pushed her against the dorm door, "Let me in your room." She whispered out. Damn. She knew what she was doing.
Beca fumbled with the lock nervously as Chloe pushed her inside slamming her into the wall roughly. Beca barely had time to respond with a gasp when she felt Chloe's lips upon hers. Sweet Jesus she was good at this.
She flicked the lock on her door and Chloe had begun nipping at her jawline. She thought she was going to pass out from bliss. Chloe was drunk and so was she, but they both knew what they were doing.
Chloe quickly spun them around and pushed Beca towards the bed quickly as she traced the bottom of her shirt in circles.
"Chlo… wait…." Beca managed to breathe out tearing their lips apart.
"Do you want me to stop?" Chloe said as she continued kissing along her neckline.
"Chlo…." Beca said grabbing the bottom of Chloe's chin so their eyes would meet.
"What's wrong, Beca?" Chloe said continuing to place small circles on her stomach.
"I need to tell you something…" Beca replied hoarsely, trying to rid the arousal in her voice.
"Okay… well, whatever it is. Just tell me Beca." Chloe said, not hiding the worry from her tone as well as she thought.
Beca sighed and reached to the desk behind her grabbing the envelope off of it and handing it to Chloe.
Chloe accepted it and scanned the contents.
"Beca! Oh my God!" She said sitting up on the bed, "But wait… this is today?" Chloe said looking at the clock and locking eyes with the brunette.
"I owe you big time for this, Chloe. I can't believe you completed all the paperwork without me knowing you little sneak." Beca said with a jab to her ribs trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, well, I knew you'd be perfect… I just didn't think it'd be so soon." Chloe added softly tracing the words on the paper as tears flooded her eyes.
"I know Chlo… but, it's SONY RECORDS. This is the deal of my life… I've gotta take it. This is all because of you sneaking around places with my mixes." Beca added tugging at some of the redhead's hair softly.
"Yeah, I know…" Chloe added.
You're wrong
I don't belong
You're wrong
I don't belong to you
"I don't belong here, Chloe…. There's nothing here for me." Beca added sitting up straighter grabbing the envelope from Chloe and placing it behind her on the desk. "If I belong anywhere, it's in L.A….But who knows if-"
"Is that some kind of sick joke, Beca?" Chloe said interrupting her, anger fueling her eyes. It was a look Beca rarely saw on Chloe Beale.
"Well… I just-"
"You what, Beca? Jesus Christ… Look what you did for all of us tonight. We won the fucking ICCA's because of YOU Beca. You belong." Chloe said taking Beca's hand in hers.
"I don't though… and I especially don't belong with you. Look at you, and look at me… we're just-we….I don't belong Chlo." Beca said shaking her head.
"Beca, look at me." Chloe said lifting her fingers under Beca's chin delicately, "you belong. You belong with me." Chloe added as she closed the gap between them once more, no longer letting Beca argue with her.
"Chlo- we shouldn't." Beca added as she raked over Chloe.
Chloe pushed her on her back and slowly began creeping over her.
"Do you want me, Beca?" Chloe smiled as she grazed her hands up and down Beca's sides.
"Do you really need me to answer that?" Beca responded still unable to take her eyes off Chloe's inviting lips.
"I'd like to hear you say it. Tell me you want me." Chloe said into her ear grinding against her leg.
"Mmmph… Okay fine. I want you. I've wanted you since you burst into my shower. I want you. Happy?" Beca muffled out placing her hands on Chloe's hips as she ground down on them.
"Then fucking do something about it, Mitchell and stop teasing me." Chloe whispered.
"Fuck…" Beca groaned as she slowly lifted Chloe's dress over her head.
What I'd give for that first night when you were mine
Tried with all that I have to keep you alive
Beca nipped at the necklace along Chloe's collarbone and reached her hand behind her to unhook her light blue lacy bra. She lowered her lips and connected them with Chloe's very hard nipple. She felt Chloe clawing at her hair.
"Fuck, Beca…. Don't stop." Chloe growled out as she continued rocking her hips against Beca. The sight of it all was too much for her and she was about to lose it right there.
Beca continued lowering her kisses until she was pulling Chloe's matching panties down and placing kisses along her hip bone and Chloe was writhing uncontrollably beneath her. She loved it.
"Inside, Bec… Inside baby, please…" Chloe breathed out pulling Beca's head up to hers and connecting their lips in quick, hot kisses. Beca quickly inserted two fingers into Chloe with no warning and Beca was on the brink just from watching her. She didn't even care that Chloe was using pet names… it was all incredibly sexy.
"Do you want me to stop?" Beca said against her ear with a smirk on her lips as she continued pumping in and out of Chloe.
"Bitch, I swear… you better not stop." Chloe yelled out slowly trying to catch her breath between the words. "So close…"
"So hot…" Beca breathed against her sweaty red locks.
And just like that, Chloe came undone beneath her.
"Jesus Christ… that was…." Chloe said trying to regain her breathing pattern as Beca removed her hand and let Chloe come down from her high.
"Hot… Amazing… Mind-blowing… shall I continue?" Beca said kissing Chloe's sweaty forehead lightly.
It was then Beca was jolted and flipped over quickly.
"It's your birthday, Beca. This is your last surprise…" Chloe hovered over Beca and wasted no time in pulling off her clothes, starting with her skinny jeans.
Hours had passed and neither of them had spoken, they were just trying to savor the moment… Chloe was lying behind Beca with her arms encircling her middle. She had felt her breathing even out about an hour ago, but she couldn't sleep. Beca was going to be leaving the next day and she was so proud of her… but that meant she wouldn't have Beca.
I wasn't taught this way
With a thousand things to say
I was born with a broken heart
What I'd give for that first night when you were mine
Thought you were mine
"I love you, Beca. I'm so terribly in love with you…You'll always belong with me." Chloe said softly against Beca's cheek and then kissed it softly before drifting off to sleep.
But Beca wasn't asleep. She wasn't asleep at all.
She made sure Chloe was sleeping and glanced over at the clock. Her flight left in two hours and she hadn't even packed. She slowly gathered all her belongings as quietly as she could.
The last thing she wanted to do was leave a naked Chloe Beale in her bed… she'd never let her heart get so entwined with someone as it had with Chloe. There was no way Chloe was in love with her.
She glanced around the room one last time ensuring she had everything.
Everything except the redhead that was tangled in her bed sheets.
So I'll put this cigarette to bed
Pull some sheets from off your side
I put my arm around you safe in the night
Still dreaming of fortune
But you're wrong
I don't belong
You're wrong
I don't belong
I don't belong
She leaned over to Chloe, brushing the strands from her eyes and watched as her eyelids fluttered in her dream state. She quickly brushed her lips to Chloe's forehead and let them linger a second longer than they should have.
"I love you too, Chloe… but I don't belong." She said with a small smile. She left a USB and a note on her desk for the redhead when she woke up. With one last glance back, she was softly closing the door with her American Airlines ticket in hand wiping the tears with her knuckle that she had allowed to fall from her eyes.
Chloe awoke several hours later in complete content. But then realized she was very alone…
"Bec? Beca?" She said sitting up grabbing her head, "Ouch. Beca, where are you?"
Chloe looked around at a vacant room and suddenly felt the room spinning. Beca was gone.
She grabbed the bed sheet from the bed and wrapped it around her noticing the note on the desk, along with a USB, of what she assumed was a mix, and two Tylenol tablets. She quickly took the Tylenol and grabbed the note, hoping for some good news….
Chloe…You're wrong. I don't belong. Thank you for believing in me and getting me this deal. I hope we'll meet again one day… Beca
Chloe fell to the floor, shattered. Beca was gone. She spent the rest of the day in a ball of tears on the floor of Beca's empty dorm room.
That was five years ago.
Thinking about that night again made Beca feel sick to her stomach at the thought of up and leaving Chloe. She hated what she had done but she hadn't been able to face it. Chloe was the only person she had ever loved and Chloe was too good for her. She never belonged to her. She never would.
She patted at her cheeks when she realized a steady stream of tears had been falling, when she heard the ding of her phone go off.
Happy Birthday, Beca. Hope you're taking care of yourself…
Beca didn't need to see a signature; she knew exactly who it was from.
Song credit: Cary Brothers - Belong. If you haven't heard it, check it out - it's amazing!
Please read and review - the response from this will gage if I continue :) Hope you all like it!