No Matter What

Chapter 3

At the Hospital, Sam had been rushed straight into surgery. Dean knew no one was expecting him to make it. But he had faith in his little brother, he believed that Sam could pull through. Even though he might not want to after the argument they had gotten into this morning. How had things gone so wrong that they had yet again ended up at the hospital. Dean swallowed the bile he felt in the back of his throat. He had been a royal jerk to Sam this morning. Refusing, Sam the opportunity to even have an opinion about their hunt just because he had wanted to it to be finished. How long would Dean have to pay for that mistake? Would Sam even make it through the surgery so that he could apologize? Or would he have to live with the regret of the things he had said.

"Sammy is going to pull through" John says quietly knowing exactly what Dean is thinking. "Sam always pulls through, no matter how serious the injury." Dean swallows hard before turning to look at John.

"What if this is the one time that he doesn't. Sam is not immortal he can die." John's heart broke hearing in the pain in his oldest son's voice. He knew very well that Sam could really die this time.

"I know" John said "i just refuse to think that he will , because if I do. I have to think about a world without Sam, and as stubborn as the kid is. I can't do that, I love him too much to consider living in this world without him." John says, for once stating exactly what he was feeling. His sons needed him to be strong for them both, but they also both needed to know how much he loved them.

"I keep seeing him struggle to breathe and I see the blood pouring from his side. I wonder how in the world it will be possible for him to survive. The odds are against him, but I don't want to let him go. I have too much to make up for." Dean says looking at his father with tears in his eyes. "if he doesn't survive then I don't think I will either. I want to be wherever he is."

"Dean, Sam wouldn't want you to die just because he did. He would want you to keep living and keep fighting for him." John said "he would want you to leave this earth when it was your time and not a minute before it was up."

"How does one live without their heart?" Dean asks, breaking John's heart even more. "I don't even know how to survive without my kid brother. I don't want to have to learn, I refuse to learn to live without him."

"I don't know," John says "I'm still trying to figure that out myself." he thought of Mary and wondered what she would have thought of how he was raising the boys. He seriously doubted she would be proud of him, but what else could he do. He had to train them to protect themselves against what was out there. "For the most part it's one day at time one minute at a time. You don't stop missing them or loving them. Instead your love of them only gets stronger the longer you go without them. You long to have them back, but you know that wherever they are now, they are better off. You keep hoping that they are happy even if the thought of them being happy without you kills you, you know that them being happy is the only thing that truly matters." John sighs and his mind wonders to earlier that morning. Could that whole situation had been stopped if he had somehow made Sam late to school?

He would never know, because now they were sitting in the emergency surgery waiting room. Waiting to hear whether or not Sam had came through the surgery or not. He knew Dean was terrified of losing Sam, and to be honest John was too. He couldn't help but think he had been too tough on him, he should have let Sam state his opinion about the hunt. There were many other things John could have done and probably should have done. Now John could only think about the things he had done and regret them. His poor decision making could be the end of his youngest child's life. That wasn't something any father would be proud of. If Sam didn't make it, he would have to live with it for the rest of his life, however long or short that that may be.

"Why is it we always end up in the ER and this is always where we think about what we should have done?" Dean wonders. It seemed it always happened like this, they should be thinking of things they could be doing before it got to this point. That never happened and they always ended up with a shit ton of guilt on their shoulders.

"We're both stubborn that's why" John answers looking down at the ground. "We don't like thinking that there is the possibility that we are wrong."

they spent the next several minutes lost in their own thoughts. It was only when they heard their name being called that they bothered to say anything.

"Winchester family?" an older doctor called and John stood up. Surely they had good news right?

The doctor introduces himself as Dr. Cole.

"I was your son's surgeon," he started.

"How is he?" Dean interrupts "did he make it through the surgery?"

"It got rough for a little while but Sam did come through the surgery. We were able to fix his internal bleeding that the stabbing caused. We have a tube inserted in his right side that is re-inflating his lung. Sam is going to be on a respirator while this goes on." Dr. Cole explains. "He also has several broken ribs that along is going to take anywhere from six to eight weeks to heal. So I would be expecting a long recovery for Sam."

"So he's going to make it?" Dean asks, the hope in his voice nearly breaking John's heart. If he had been a better father they wouldn't be in this situation at all.

"Yes, he is going to be okay." Dr. Cole smiles sensing the love for the injured boy in the people around him. He was glad that he had good news for this family because there for a while it looked like the young man wasn't going to make it.

"If you don't mind me asking? How did he end up in this condition?" Dr. Cole asks. He had the feeling it wasn't the family that had done it, it was clear from looking at them that they loved the boy dearly.

"Bullies" John answers though the real monster responsible wasn't an actual person. Dr. Cole shook his head.

"That's a shame, kids should be taught better than to treat someone with no respect whatsoever. They should be taught to not pick on someone weaker than them." John nodded.

"When can we see Sam?" Dean asks and Dr. Cole smiles he had the feeling keeping the young man away from his little brother would be pointless.

"Follow me and I will take you to him." he said as he started walking away. John and Dean followed wondering how hard it would be to see their badly beaten family member.

Once they reached the room, Dr. Cole turned towards them and said.

"I know you want to be with him but I must stress that its very important that he gets rest. Under no circumstances do not stress him. If he is to recover he needs all the rest he can get." Dean nods barely listening before disappearing into Sam's room. He wasn't going to put Sam under any stress he just wanted his little brother to know that he was there for him.

Dean wasn't surprised at how awful his brother looked, his face was swollen and bruised. He had a tube inserted in his mouth that led to a machine that was helping him breathe. Dean hated it but he knew that if he wanted Sam to make it, he needed it.

Approaching the bed, Dean reached out and took the hand that didn't have the IV needle in it.

"I'm so sorry Sammy" Dean choked, tears filling his eyes. "If I was a better brother this wouldn't have happened. I should have known you were right that there is something wrong with this town." Sam being in the hospital was his fault. He should have done something, he should have been able to get to Sam faster or something. Anything would have been better than standing there and listen to those black eyed freaks beating on his brother.

"Dean you are already an amazing brother, and Sam knows that" John said from the doorway. "He wouldn't want you to be feeling the way you are right now."

"I can't help it" Dean chokes out "I keep hearing those guys beat him over the phone and think I should have done something earlier."

"You couldn't have done anything, they would have been gone by the time you had gotten to the school." John says "we know who they are and as soon as Sam is feeling better we are going to get them but for now we are going to protect him the way we should have earlier."

"No monster will get through me, not without getting disemboweled first" Dean growled.

AN

I thought this chapter was a bit touching. If you want to listen to the perfect song, look up Disciple's things left unsaid. That song is absolutely perfect for this chapter.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, sorry it took me so long to update. I have been hard at work at getting some books self published, not exactly an easy task. But I promise I am going to start trying to update my fanfictions for often. Have a great day.