Title: Umbra Power

Author: Ri-Ryn

Genre: Humor/General

Word Count: 832

Rating: M* (Content suitable for Mature Teens) / +T

Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basket belongs to Tadatoshi Fujimaki.

Summary: Kuroko Tetsuka hated pity and sorrow. The kind of people she loved were the ones who let her live: albeit, a little too much. Being blind, the world had never been so clear. (light Fem!Kuroko x All GOM and select few others)

Warnings: Cursing/Strong Language.

Chapter: Kuroko:Humorist

A/N: Well, this hit me as being unbearably funny because we all know the GOM must be pranksters at heart.

TimeLine: Second year at Teikō

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"And this is Kise Ryōta who will be in the first string starting today."

Kise sighed. This was too easy and he was continuing to excel at basketball. At this rate, he would conquer another sport and he'd lose interest. The second year flinched.

"Please pay attention, Kise-kun. This is Kuroko Tetsuka, our second principal manager. Ask her anything."

Kise looked down, startled to actually see a petite girl staring directly into his chest, and only straight at is chest. Weird.

"So, he's the famous model. What do ya' think, Tetsu?" Aomine hid his grin, knowing his best friend would catch his drift.

"Nothing much, another boy to babysit."

"Oi, Tetsu, what d'ya mean 'another'!?"

Kise bristled, knowing he was being pretentious but come on! All the girls since starting Teikō had fallen hard the Zunon Boy model. He leaned forward, grasping her chin and tilting it to meet his eyes with hers, surprised to see a scar on her face, spanning both eyes. She didn't blink and it almost made him feel guilty for resorting to this.

"I'm sorry; I didn't quite catch your name, Ms…?"

"Kuroko Tetsuka." The girl resisted the urge to slap his hand away, this angle uncomfortable for her neck.

Aomine grinned maliciously before schooling his face. "Well? Not bad, right Tetsu?"

Tetsuka let her small mouth part, "Unbearably handsome," she breathed airily, softly letting her knees buckle and collapsing to the ground.

"Tetsu!" Aomine leaped forth swiftly into action, not expecting her to go quite that far. He caught the bluenette easily, cradling her limp body in his arms, desperately tender. "Tetsu." Aomine panicked, brushing light blue hair out of her face gently and getting no response. "Tetsuka!"

The first string froze; carefully keeping concerned faces instead of letting their grins show. Everyone knew that if Kuroko started a joke, the others would follow suit, facilitating it.

"You bastard!" Kise reeled back in the face of Aomine's anger. "What the fuck did you do to her!?" Kuroko stayed still, her body appearing unnaturally pale and fragile with Aomine holding her protectively in muscular tan arms.

"I…" Kise was panicking. Did he do too much? Did she have a heart condition, some kind of former trauma? "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to!"

"Being sorry won't fix anything!" Aomine clutched her tighter.

Kise bowed ninety degrees, head down and eyes tightly closed shut. He hadn't meant to take it that far! "I'm so sorry for being attractive! I didn't mean to overwhelm her!" He pleaded sincerely.

The first stingers snorted and laughed, waiting for the kicker that would take the pretty boy down ten notches.

"Kise Ryōta." Akashi called calmly, a small smile playing at his lips. Tetsuka and Daiki had outdone themselves this time.

"What!?" The guilty model wailed, tears pricking at his eyes and already wetting the lower lashes.

"Tetsuka is blind. What you're implying is physically impossible."

Midorima snorted. "And you're delusional." Really, fainting because someone was 'unbearably handsome'? The shooting guard felt his own lips twitch. Even if astrologically they were incompatible, the Aquarius had accurately pegged Kise as an insufferable moron solely from his voice, and that was worth his respect.

"A real idiot." Murasakibara quipped, throwing more chips into his mouth to chew. "Kise's pretty stupid."

"Wha-?" The blonde had a look of stupor blooming on his features, glancing from amused teammates to the tragedy at his feet by his hand.

Aomine was laughing his ass off, rolling across the gymnasium floor, sides clutched as laughter racked his body. "Ahahaha! I can't believe it! He's dumber than I am!"

Tetsuka was seated politely, a bright and small grin dancing on her face. "I'm sorry, Kise-san. I didn't expect you to be so vain. I miscalculated and distressed you."

The model felt his heart be stabbed by the blunt honesty and humiliation before a hand clapped his shoulder. He dazedly directed his eyes to Momoi, she too was smiling. "Please, do try your best to keep up with the first string from now on, Kise-kun."

"Yes." Tetsuka took one more dig. "I'd rather not go deaf as well as blind, Kise-san. Please tone your voice down and properly behave from now on. I look forward to working with you." The small manger bowed lightly from her sitting position.

And the kicker? One tiny girl had beaten him off his high horse as cordially as possible.

Omake:

Akashi caught the blonde after practice. "And Ryōta?"

"Yes, Captain?" The small forward didn't even register the use of his first name.

"Retaliation will not be acceptable against Tetsuka."

Kise opened his mouth to protest he would never harm the blind manager.

Akashi swiftly cut him off. "This is a warning to remember, because if you hurt her, I'll make sure you're gone."

"Off the team?" Kise whispered hallowly.

"No." The red head smiled. "Off the plane of mortals."

Kise was confused. "What-?"

"I'll kill you slowly and discretely."

"…oh…"

"I'm pleased we've reached an understanding so quickly."

Chapter 2:

Kuroko:Dependent