Bastion of the Heart

Chizuru found it hard to eat with the plump middle aged woman staring at her as if she was the filthiest thing that ever walked the earth. The woman was the head maid of Kazama's Edo mansion. She refused to eat at first but after a bad headache and the realization that her body has gone weary from stress and travel, she welcomed food into her system like an old friend. The first meal was delivered to her room but after that she was invited to have dinner in the dining hall. Kazama was out for business and she was left under the plump woman's care.

"Is there something wrong with the food?" the head maid raised a brow.

Chizuru shook her head. "The food is great and…"

"Then at least pretend that you're thankful for the meal" she spits the words like blades. The couple other maids in the room giggled. Both used to be good friends with her. The head maid excused herself and the young ones followed.

Taking a long deep breath, Chizuru resumed eating. Her eyes wandered around the dining area which was fairly decorated with expensive articles. It was sad eating alone but better than having prying eyes on her.

"She's such a whore" the voice traveled with ease through the rice paper covered doors. On an instant Chizuru's ears perked.

"Oh she was often asked to go deliver food for Kazama-sama in his room...maybe that's when she pulled off her stunt" another giggled.

"The little whore has no place here. I hope Kazama-sama gets tired of her already...ugh what an eyesore" the head maid added.

Chizuru dislikes confrontation and would often time keep quiet. Not this time though. Their words cut her deep. She remembered one of the few times Souji thought her some self defense using her short sword. He said that defense without offense is suicide, always strike back. People who don't and just quietly endure without doing anything are filthy cowards. She doesn't like to be a coward. She can't be.

Inspired by his words, she slid the door open gaining three sets of wide eyes on an instant "I'm no whore" she replied, controlling the shaking of her voice. She was red in embarrassment and has lost her appetite. "Thanks for the meal"

"Now you have the got the guts to answer back " the elder woman retorted. "I wonder what moves you pulled on the master. I bet you're good. You took a huge leap from being a lowly servant, we should commend you"

Chizuru clenched her fist to control her tears from spilling. "I...I don't care what you say about me or if you laugh at me behind my back."

"Well, just don't get your hopes up" the plump woman added with thick malice in her voice. She chortled tastelessly and the two other maids joined. "The master would never settle for a someone like you."

Chizuru was about to retaliate but the aged head maid from Kyoto entered the room from the adjacent door. She kept her grace as she looked up and down the plump woman who instantly stopped laughing then bowed her head.

"Kaede-san, I'm glad that you made it back to Edo safely" the plump woman suddenly turned modest.

"I won't kick the bucket from just travelling around, Seiichi-san." The old woman looked at Chizuru who immediately looked away then turned her attention to the plump woman once more. "The scrolls in the library of Kyoto may change its colors from time but your colors don't Seiichi-san" Kaede walked towards Chizuru and pulled her up. "Come young lady, you are to change your clothes and look less like rags before the master gets home."

Chizuru followed the old woman silently. She felt daggers on her back as soon as she turned away from the women who were obviously fuming over her existence. At this point she wasn't sure if she'd count herself lucky or just pitiful.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

The morning meeting starts with each captain giving their reports then they discuss the plan for the day and get dismissed to do their own business. Today though, the brief morning meeting would be extended due to some questions which Hijikata was expecting but also wished to not be raised.

Heisuke raised a hand and turned his head to the vice commander. "Yukimura was supposed to return yesterday right?"

Hijikata simply nodded in reply. He doesn't really feel like talking about her now, it only brings up all the worry that was about to burst in the pits of his being.

"I haven't seen her around though" Sano added.

Hijikata felt Kondo and Sannan's eyes on him. The two also have no idea about what's going on. "She requested to return home last night. Yamazaki escorted her to the border"

"And she didn't even bother to say good bye?" Heisuke pouted.

"She might have urgent matters to attend to" Hijikata just wanted to dismiss everyone but they were far from finish.

"I was just wondering" Shinpachi scratched his head. "How come we've got our hands on all those weapons all of a sudden?"

"I'm thankful for them but I never heard of us buying as much now" Sano raised.

Sannan adjusted his glasses. "I don't remember sitting on a meeting with anyone regarding the matter of arms acquisition. Who sponsored us?"

Hijikata had already prepared an answer for their questions. He didn't spend the night awake just for nothing anyway. "I don't know"

"What do you mean?" Kondo scratched his chin.

"I received a message that told me to go there...it said that there was a surprise waiting for us. What we need will be provided" Hijikata crossed his arms on his chest and continued. "Sounds like a prank but I went to check it out anyway"

"Hijikata-san…" Heisuke was unusually serious. "Why were you in that much hurry when we saw you headed to that house…I'm just curious because everyone noticed that you seem shaken"

"And that isn't what we'd expect from someone who can compete with Hajime in the straight face contest" Sano crossed his arms on his chest. "Is there something else we should know about?"

Hijikata kept his demeanor but the reasons he prepared were starting to collapse one after the other in his mind. He could just tell them that Chizuru was caught. Kazama, who was a big shot arms trader, fell madly in love with her and decided to take her with him. In exchange for her, crates of weapons are presented to them. Kazama might be known to play for their enemy but in truth he was just a spectator who thinks that everything was just a game. That the discord for change was just some form of amusement. Chizuru amused him too, so he took her. He has no idea where she was as well and it was his entire fault.

Yes, he could tell them that. Straight and simple. He could tell them how he couldn't protect the one person who meant the world to him. He could tell them how helpless he felt at the moment. Tell them that all this time he was in love with her and that was the reason she was staying in their headquarters anyway.

But, no. He couldn't tell them that. He doesn't want to get them involve in taking her back. He knew the guys long enough and was sure that they won't sit back after knowing what happened to Yukimura who have already grown on them. They aren't in the position to get involved in conflict at the moment, especially with one who has enough power to turn the tides on them. He was dead set to solve the problem on his own. She was his responsibility and no one else's.

They deserved answers though.

"It was sudden and I thought that it was a farce so I didn't informed everyone. I was just in a hurry to get it done." Hijikata paused as he suddenly felt the words stuck on his throat. He remembered the fear he felt as he was rushing through those alleys. It was so not like him to be like this. He wasn't as tough as he thought he was after all.

"I don't think that we have to ask anymore." Saitou intervened. "We should thank Hijikata-san for finding a way to acquire such weapons. In times like this results matter more than anything"

"but…' Shinpachi tried to insist on knowing more.

Kondo patted Hijikata's shoulder. "Well, I guess that's enough for today." He beamed at everyone and then at the younger man next to him who looked at him with relief. "I'd have Toshi explain things in detail to me and we'd talk about it later. He looks as pale as a ghost, we better give him some break"

With the commander's words the captains stood up and one by one went their own way. The most curious ones were sure that Hijikata wouldn't lie to Kondo and the commander wouldn't keep things from them. At the moment they figured that it is best if the two talked to each other.

Kondo rubbed the back of his neck and faced Hijikata. "Is everything alright? You look sick and bothered"

Hijikata smiled at the man. He knew though that he couldn't fool him with a half assed smile. "Don't worry about me"

"I won't if you insist but the men have a point with their questions" Kondo crossed his arms in his chest and sighed. "Forgive me for doubting your story but I don't think anyone will be kind enough to give us those weapons without any payment"

Hijikata ducked his head at Kondo whom he respects a lot. He wouldn't want to lie to him but he wasn't sure where and how to start explaining things to him.

"I'm really sorry." He kept his head low. "I was hoping you could excuse me for a while. I'm really not feeling well. I'd talk to you about things later"

"Alright. I'm just here when you're ready to talk" Kondo patted his shoulder once more before getting up. "Eat something and get some sleep it would help." With that piece of advice delivered with his warmest smile he left the troubled man.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru lightly rubbed her finger on the fabric of her kimono which was of fine material. She looked over her shoulder but the old woman turned her head and continued combing her hair. The teeth of the comb provided her a soothing sensation which calmed her nerves. Paired with the old woman's feather like hands, it was pampering.

"I know of your fears, child" the old woman said as she finished with her hair.

Her hair cascaded over her shoulder. She never thought that it had already grown long. "Kaede-san…Thank you"

"Tell me" Kaede moved in front of her, placing the precious comb next to her. "Do you hate the master?"

Chizuru just looked back the old woman and pursed her lips. "Hate is such a strong word…"

"The master doesn't only find you interesting" Kaede interrupted. "I can assure you that he bears no ill will. If you're worried that the master might take advantage of you then with confidence I'd tell you that he isn't that kind of man"

"But I couldn't stay here…I have to go back to Kyoto" she turned her gaze to the tatami flooring.

Kaede sighed. "As much as the concept of hate is strong, so is the concept of love."

Chizuru didn't expect the old woman to reach for her cheek. Kaede's hand was wrinkly and calloused from a lifetime of work. It was warm and tender though. She smiled bitterly at her. "Kaede-san…"

"You're in Edo, alive and well, despite being a spy because of a man who failed to realize that he was already caught in the gallows of love."Kaede wiped away Chizuru's tear with her thumb. "I'm well aware that you are bound by those feelings as well but this you feel towards another man and not the master, am I correct?" a nod was given in response. "Everything happens for a reason though child. If you give him a chance you'd realize that the master isn't as bad as you think he is."

Chizuru didn't look away from the woman as she paused and removed her palm on her face. She was thankful for her kindness to her but her suggestion just wouldn't do.

"You see" Kaede continued. "Life might be putting you on a fork in the road my child. It might not be now but soon you'd have to make a decision in which path to take. I just hope that you'd know where to head when the time comes"

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

He wanted to be selfish. Drop everything there and then to follow her. Waiting was making him feel useless and mad. Mad that she was swiped away just like that. He promised to protect her. He wanted nothing more than to make her happy. Despite his responsibilities and the looming war, he actually sees himself starting a family with her. He wanted their group to reach their goals but at the same time he sometimes wish for a quiet life. With her.

They had a bad encounter with a group of rebels last night. They had to be on alert and double their vigilance. The tension in Kyoto is peaking. His men needed him. But he needed her. The old him would stomp his foot and insist on responsibility above anything else. He never thought he'd feel the need to disobey his orders.

Hijikata swings his sword one last time and took a step back. Catching his breath, he sheathed his sword. The cool wind dried the sweat on his face and tousled his hair. Closing his eyes for a moment he remembered her face. He loves her smile. It was kind and warm. He opened his eyes and looked up the waning moon. At the silence of the night he can hear her voice, singing to him.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"What do you live for, Chizuru?"

The question rang in Chizuru's head as she tossed in her futon. She just had dinner with Kazama and to her surprise he didn't pulled anything funny on her. She demanded several times to be released from the mansion but her requests fell on deaf ears. Kazama didn't talked much but he observed her in the side of his eyes. He informed her about the current state of the nation and shared a bit about his day. She barely gave any proper reply. It was rude but she has no plans of befriending the man, not after dragging her to Edo.

As dinner neared its end, Kazama gave his full attention to her. He commented on how glad he was to see her on his table dining with him. She thanked him for dinner. He said that it was nothing and insisted that they dine together again. With a long sigh, the man stood up and lighted his pipe. He took some steps along the length of the table and stop on one end to puff out the smoke. He looked at her and imparted an anecdote.

It was about some kid who asked a lot of questions to the point where the adults around him found him annoying. The lack of answer to the boy's question caused him to find answers on his own, getting him into trouble most of the time. The boy was witty though and always found a way out. Finding answers to his questions were one of the few things that excited him. Aside from that he found his daily life to be boring. Soon the boy turned into a young man. He had everything and nothing. He aimed for power which he thought would fill his emptiness but power hollowed him deeper.

At the peak of his confusion, about life and what he wanted for himself, he met an aged man playing Shogi by himself outside a noodle shop. He rested on the bench for a bit and watched the old man play against himself, fascinated at how it kept him entertained. Finally, the old man took notice of him and invited him for a game in which he lost. The old man started telling him stories randomly, like any other old man on the verge of senility. Bored but interested with what the old man has to say, the young man brought food for the elderly and sat with him till sunset.

As their conversation ended, the old man asked the young man of the burden he was carrying. The young man didn't replied and bid the elder man farewell. The geezer tugged the young man's haori and expressed how much he shouldn't take his youth for granted. The young man laughed and said in confidence that he know what he's doing. The elder man made his first move, starting playing against himself once more in shogi. In almost a monotone the elderly asked for the young man's reason for living. A response wasn't granted to the old man and despite the randomness and oddity of their encounter the question made an impact to the young man.

Chizuru figured that the young man was Kazama. He would always tell her something about himself, directly or indirectly, as if hoping that it would bring her closer to him.

Sitting up, she shook her head. "No" she whispered. She knew that it wasn't his goal. He was looking for someone who could understand him. Falling back to her futon she sighed. Kazama reminded her of Hijikata. There was always more to a man than his tough exterior.

Rolling to her side, a tear left her eye, followed by another. She curled into a ball and started sobbing. The sudden thought of her lover made her feel miserable. She embraced herself and uttered his name under her breath. The same name was the answer to the question Kazama raised before she excused herself from the dining area.

Her reason for living may be deemed shallow by others but he was the reason as to why she was still breathing. He freed her and made her stronger. He was the one who cured, and was still, patching up her wounds. He patiently put back together her broken pieces, like a master in the art of Kinstugi, proclaiming her beauty like it was never shattered.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Shaking the bottle of sake, Kazama decided that he's had enough for the night. He was tired and could use some sleep. Crawling to his futon, he immediately proceeded to search for the perfect position. It irritated him that despite his efforts, something seems to be amiss.

He growled. "Of course" he lay supine, placing his forearm over his eyes as he yawned. The woman down the hall should've been there with him to warm him up. He could drag her out and force her to stay with him but that would only be bothersome.

Sleep was slowly sinking in yet his thoughts were still on Chizuru. He succeeded in taking her with him but now what? How would he even begin to capture a heart that was left in Kyoto?