The Truth Will Out

Spoilers: S3X20

It didn't matter how she knew, didn't matter who told her, didn't matter that she wore his engagement ring – nothing mattered – only the truth.

"The truth will out Rumplestiltskin," his aunts used to say, the Spinner women who raised him. Such words were enough back then to keep a young lad in line, to keep him on his toes, fearing that the truth would someday surface with all his gory reality. But back then truths were as banal as carrying on with the blacksmith's daughter when rumor had it she was saved for Zesari. Oh, how he feared the truth. But even then, even at fourteen he could 'duck and dive', as his father would say, with the best of them. Maybe being a lying cheat as in his blood.

"You lied to me."

"Yes."

How familiar it all seemed. And it was. Not too long ago he had found a loophole in another promise and broken her heart. That perfect heart which, for some unknown reason, beat for him.

The truth will out Rumplestiltskin…

She stood in the entrance to his shop – their shop in his mind – dressed like an angel in a white blouse and blue skirt. Like a siren from the sky. Bathed in the light from outside a halo formed around her body and reminded him, not for the first time, that she was God sent and probably not intended for the pitiful likes of him.

Yet, he clung to her because his love was limitless and profound and he wanted Belle like he wanted nothing else on this mortal plane. "Let me explain…"

"Zelena is dead and you killed her." That was Belle – to the point, no embellishments. Honesty personified.

"I had to avenge Bae…"

She nodded and he stalled his speech, waiting for her move. Ever the strategist, he would wait for her to show her hand first and then respond appropriately. He would beg if he needed to. But either way she would forgive him – she always did and always would do. He had faith in that.

"You stood here before me and you gave me your dagger as a sign of your love and our future and then you stole it back. You speak of my faith and trust in you and then you abuse it. Why couldn't you just talk to me about this."

"Because," he said, stepping around the counter, "I would have lost you."

"You have lost me."

The finality of those words splintered his heart, sending shards of blistering pain through every vein in his body. He trembled with it until he was so weak he leant against the counter, his fingers knuckle white against the cool glass. It felt like falling but there was no ground just an endless pit in which to tumble with darkness as his only companion. It felt like dying.

The ring that graced her finger was slid free and placed carefully and silently on the countertop. The jewel glistening in the sun.

"No… Belle… I love… you…" His words were blunt and burdened with excess – excess pain, excess desperation and a hope so staggeringly wanted it made his mouth dry and lips tremble. Yes, it felt like dying.

"I don't believe that. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I love you, god knows I do, but it hurts too much. We've been here before and if I stay I become a victim and I need to have the dignity and self-respect to just… say goodbye. It's … over. Maybe it never was to begin with."

"No… Belle, please."

She took and breath and when she spoke the words, unrehearsed, poured free as if seeping from an open wound. "You're not the man I thought you were. That's not your fault, that's mine. I tried to make you into something – someone – you were not. I saw something in you that wasn't there. I'm … what did you once call me? A 'stupid gullible girl'. You're right. I am gullible. But I refuse to be stupid."

"You're all I want in this world Belle. You're my true love, my best love … the only one."

She shook her head, her hair tumbling around her shoulders, "Words. That's all you have Rumple and I don't know which ones to believe."

"Believe this! Believe me when I tell you I love you. You know that's true." Striding towards her, he snatched at her hand and brought her palm to his chest where his heart beat so frantically. "You know it's true."

"Do I?" She twisted her hand out from under his, prying her fingers free when he struggled to let go. "I'm supposed to believe those words and not the others? How do I differentiate between what is truth and what is a lie?"

Desperately he snatched at excuses which no sooner than spoken were ash in the air, fluttering around them like dying embers, "I didn't lie…"

"No. You play with words as I've said before. You play with me."

She was resolute. Unyielding. He knew he was lost. "I'm sorry!" He blurted, his eyes stung with tears, red at the edges and blazing with misery. "I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry!" He held his hands out defensively. "You're right! You're completely right. I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong and I will never… Next time, next time I promise you…"

His voice trailed away as she scoffed – an act so out of character it stole the breath from his lungs. In that second she looked at him with the disbelieving antagonism that everyone else did. Her eyes mocking and cool, her expression etched with bitter amusement, her demeanor one of resilient hurt. In that second he knew he had damaged more than her trust, he had altered her vision of him. Tainted it. Spoiled it. Broken it.

"Belle… sweetheart. Darling, please…" his voice trailed away for it had no direction. Endearments piled upon pleasantries wouldn't levitate him from the quagmire of his own making. Thinking rapidly he changed direction, his voice suddenly animated with purpose. "She had it coming Belle. She murdered my son. My boy! She led him to his death and if it hadn't have been him it would have been you. She would have seen you both dead. Everyone dead. There was no second chances for her. She tortured me Belle," he voice broke on the word and for a split second he got through to her; her glacial features melted slightly and the cobalt blue of her eyes thawed. Grasping the moment he ploughed ahead, never lying but selecting scenes that he knew would pluck at her heart – the empathetic, beautiful soul that she is. "She tortured me; physically, mentally, emotionally…" he let her words linger as he licked his lips. "I never knew who I would get – which Zelena. She could be loving or sadistic; order a kiss and then scar my body. She mocked me, mocked the loss of my boy… even when he was buried and I felt each shovel of dirt pound my soul. One day Belle… one day you'll be a mother, a mother to my children," he said boldly, clinging to the image like a drowning man to a raft, "and when you feel that child move within you, when you hold that child in your arms, when you look into that child's eyes you will do anything – anything – for that little life. Anything. You will cease to be Belle and cease to be my wife and you'll become a mother and heaven help anyone who comes between you and your child. I know you will never take a life, I know you will never bloody your hands, but you will know what it is to be consumed by fear and love and pain and hope every second of your life for that tiny person you made and no matter how old that child gets, no matter how he towers over you and makes you feel old, he will forever be your little boy. Your son. A son who looks to you, no matter how old he is, for love and protection. He will be your responsibility and until the day that you take your last breath you will worry over him. And heaven forbid you lose him first, you'll still worry over him, still think of him and still want to do right by him because he doesn't die… not for a parent, not for you, he lives in your heart and with every beat talks to you still. Belle… she killed my son."

Tears streaked down her face in a map of pain, all the frost melted and soothed into salty rivers. He reached for her and she came willingly into his arms, her hands soothing his hair and her breath against his neck.

"She took my son."

"And," she whispered, her voice so low he had to strain to hear, "she took you from me."

"But I'm back now my darling." He pulled back to cup her face, his fingers dampened with her tears. "I'm here now."

She smiled as she cried and when she spoke her words mystified him. "No, you aren't."

"I…"

"She took you from me. You lied. You didn't technically lie no, but you tricked me, you fooled me, and you took that dagger – a symbol of your gift of love and trust – and you murdered her and in that act she took you from me. You chose to sacrifice us."

"No. No. That's not it," anger tinged his words, spittle sticking to his lips, "That's not true Belle. I killed her to avenge my son…"

"Why. Why didn't you talk to me," she said staccato. "Why didn't you be truthful and tell me that you were going to keep the dagger and had to avenge him. You deliberately tricked me and deliberately kept me from the truth. You went behind my back and made a mockery of me, of us, of our vows in this very shop. You killed us as you killed her. You avenged Bae but you tainted his memory. Would he have wanted murder in his name? Would he?"

"Belle..."

"Would he? Answer Rumple," she shouted, "Would he?"

"No!" he yelled, pushing away from her and striding away, trying to distance himself from his ever-present pain. "No!" he growled, his eyes aflame, "He wouldn't have wanted that but I wanted it. I wanted it. I wanted it. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to stab her. I wanted to take her life and enjoy it. I wanted to watch the fear in her eyes. I wanted her to know she was seconds away from her death. I wanted her cowered. I wanted her dead. I did it. I wanted it. I wanted it."

"And you got it and lost me." Her voice punctured his anger and his restraint. Falling to his knees he clung to her, his hands hot around her calves, clinging to her skin, looking up at her like a peasant before a vengeful goddess. "Forgive me Belle, forgive me."

She tried to pull him to his feet but he wouldn't rise, his grip tightened until red marks bloomed on her fair skin; the whole time he looked up at her with desperation so bright she struggled to meet his gaze. Slowly she lowered herself to the floor to kneel before him. "I forgive you. I forgive you Rumplestiltskin."

He sagged against her with relief, crushing her body to his as he wept. When she tried to push back he went willingly, risking a smile at her, seeing the dawn on the horizon. A new start.

"But I can't be with you."

"No! Belle!"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Listen, just listen. I'm not doing this to punish you. That's not what this is. But, I can't trust you anymore. You know more than anyone what it is like to lose trust. You know how devastating that can be and how it can color everything. You lost faith in love and as a result you didn't believe in us when we shared True Loves Kiss. So you understand when I say that I can't trust you and can't be with you."

He shook his head, "We'll start slow then, we'll start again…"

"No Rumple. I love you. I always will I think. But, I need to be with someone who I can trust or I need to just be on my own. You need to be with someone who you can be honest with."

"There is no-one for me but you. No-one. If you leave me there will be no-one else for as long as I live."

"Rumple…"

"Marry me Belle. I have changed. I have. You have seen it. I made a mistake and I'm sorry. I am so sorry. But don't give up on me. Help me. Believe me in again. We'll start new as husband and wife and…"

He scrambled to his feet and hurried out to the back of the shop only to return moments later with a tiny vial and a blue liquid. "Truth serum. I'll swear to you and you'll know it's true."

She took the vial from him and laid it to rest on the counter. "This is the problem Rumple…"

"What is?"

"I don't even believe that's a truth serum. Isn't it sad… I can't even believe in that."

He reached out for her, his hand in midair between them. "Believe in us."

She shook her head. "I always believed in us, it's you who never did."

He nodded and flexed his fingers, willing her to reach for him. "Just one more time Belle, just one more time. Please, let's start again. Take my hand."

Eternity stretched through mere seconds as he waited, his hand outstretched and then, as the clock struck midday, he had his answer.

A/N: please no spoilers for future episodes. I don't know what is going to happen and don't want to know.

Did we want her to take his hand?