A Priest and a Confession | USUK

雪

Arthur walked into church on Sunday morning. Today he would confess something he'd been carrying for weeks, months even. He would go in that confessional and tell the priest everything. Well not everything. Arthur doubted he had the guts to tell the priest who he liked. Or what he had all imagined them doing. All right, reign those thoughts in, Arthur Kirkland!

He sat down in one of the benches tentatively, making sure he caught the eye of one of the priests. Alfred F. Jones gave him a slight nod in acknowledgment before turning to where the bishop was discussing something with another priest.

As more and more people streamed into the church Arthur couldn't help his eyes from moving to Alfred. It was oh so wrong, but Arthur really couldn't help it. He really, really should stop, though. He was on holy ground after all and he had no idea what God would exactly think of Arthur's perverted thoughts. Arthur was pretty sure He would be disgusted by most of them, so he quickly focused on reciting passages of the bible.

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"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession," Arthur said easily. This was the easy part anyway. The rest of his confessions would be…harder.

"Welcome, my child," the priest, Alfred, answered. "What is it you have to tell?"

Arthur smiled softly. There was a specific reason he had chosen this priest after all. "Well, Father. I, I have fallen in love, I believe, Father."

"Oh?" Alfred sounded surprised. "And how is that a sin to you?"

"I can't be with that person, Father."

"Why, my child, can't you be with this woman?"

"It's forbidden, Father. He's unobtainable," Arthur spoke softly.

"I—he?" Alfred sputtered, needing to make a sharp left in his head.

"Yes, Father. I have fallen for a man. I… Father, I don't know what to do. He can't love me back." Arthur knew he sounded desperate, but he really didn't know what to do. Especially since the man in question was the one he was confessing to. It was all so very, very wrong.

Alfred was quiet for a long while, wondering just how he should answer this. He could hardly jump out of the confessional and spray the guy with Holy Water, that would just be cruel. After a while he knew he couldn't give an answer right away, because he didn't know one. Homosexuality wasn't something a lot of churchgoers came in here to confess. Actually, this was the first one to Alfred. Could Alfred ask the guy to return later? When Alfred had scoured through both the Old and New Testament for an answer to this question. Alfred had only just become a priest and about some things he wasn't completely sure, like homosexuality.

"I see," he decided on saying. Great move, yeah… "Why do you think he can't love you back?"

Arthur took a sharp intake of breath. This wasn't what Arthur had thought would happen. Surprisingly, being assaulted by Holy Water and being chased out of the church had been in range of the possibilities. "Because…because love between males is…is forbidden?" It came out more of a question than Arthur had liked. He didn't want his actions justified. Loving a man was wrong, wasn't it?

Alfred took a long while in answering. Yes, sex between two of the same gender was forbidden. That was what they'd told him, but…somewhere in Alfred's mind there was a protest going on about love between two of the same gender. In the end he decided on honesty. "I'm not entirely sure, my child."

Oh isn't that just marvellous, Arthur thought. "What should I do then?"

"I—" Alfred caught himself. "I must read up on this before I could give you an honest answer. For now, do you have any other sins?"

Arthur wanted to slam his head against the wood of the confessional separating him from Alfred. So he came here to confess what's been pulling him down and now Alfred couldn't give him an answer. Wasn't that just marvellous. Instead, Arthur put a plug on his annoyance and decided he would confess something else. "I might have used the Lord's name in vain a couple of times, Father."

"You might have?" Did that priest seriously have the audacity to sound amused over Arthur's sins?

Play it cool, Art. You're in church. Easy. Arthur took a deep breath before answering, "I have used the Lord's name in vain a couple of times."

"Will you do it again?" Alfred asked.

"I'll try not to," Arthur muttered, feeling like this was one of those things he would be confessing forever. He already came here once a week to confess for that with another priest, who had considerately grown tired of Arthur's blasphemy and had given him harsher penances with each go. The last time the priest had just assigned him to read all of Genesis in hope Arthur would stop. Yeah, it hadn't worked.

"If I would assign you to read a passage in the bible, would you stop using our Lord's name in vain?"

"Um…" Arthur started doubtfully.

"I see," Alfred said before Arthur could continue. "Then I'll just ask you to think over what use it really has to use our Lord's name in vain. Did it really help in those situations, or was there any other reason? I'd like to hear that next time you're here."

"You're giving me homework?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"If you want to see it as that, then yes," Alfred answered simply.

"All right…" Arthur said carefully. "That's about it, Father."

"Would you want to express an Act of Contrition or something along those lines?"

"If I may. Oh My God, I am sorry, very sorry for all my sins, because they are despising oh Lord, oh are. I firmly intend, with your help of your Son, to make up for my sins and to love as I should. Amen," recited Arthur firmly. He made a cross and thanked Alfred before quickly getting out and away.

Alfred contemplated in silence, wondering if there was more to Arthur's Act of Contrition than just that. When the next person came in he tried to shake of the strange feeling Arthur had left in his wake, but even as he busied himself with the next person's forgiveness, Arthur stayed on the back of his mind.

雪

What the he—ck. Yeah, you go, Art! All right, back on topic. What the heck am I doing here? That was what Arthur was asking himself as he stood in front of a house—his house—Alfred's house. Feet, why did you bring me here? This is stalker behaviour! Bad, bad Arthur! Should I confess about this next time? Is this a sin? God, please relieve me of this curse of love! I can't dea—

"Can I help you?"

Arthur nearly jumped ten feet up in the air as he whipped around to see Alfred himself looking curiously at him. Oh no… "Um, well…" Arthur started, not knowing what he actually wanted to say.

Alfred smiled softly. "Arthur, right? Is there any particular reason you're here?"

"You don't sound very priest-y when you're not in church," Arthur blurted out.

The priest laughed. "I suppose I don't. I've heard I don't sound very priest-y in church as well."

Arthur chuckled. "I see."

They stood in silence for a while before Arthur spoke up again. "You know. I have found an alternative to using the Lord's name in vain."

"Oh?" Alfred looked genuinely interested.

"I say heck and gosh now. That's better, right?"

"I see, I see," Alfred laughed. "I heard from Father Ludwig that there was always one person who came once every week to confess about how he'd used our Lord's name in vain. The last time that person had come Father Ludwig instructed him to read all of Genesis."

Arthur laughed sheepishly. "Ah…yeah…"

"Would you like to come in?" Alfred asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Arthur blinked stupidly.

"We could talk about…the first thing you confessed this afternoon? If you'd like?" Alfred finished doubtfully.

"You—I—um…" Arthur spluttered. He was blushing so madly that even his ears got bright red.

"Are you okay?" Alfred bent forward to get a better look at Arthur, but the latter only kept moving away.

"I'm—I'm fine! Perfect even!" Arthur almost yelled. He managed to keep his voice down, but it was still consistently higher than the voice of a person who actually was 'fine, perfect even'.

The priest hummed before nodding and coming to some conclusion. "Come on in. It's nice and warm inside, and I'll be able to answer your question this time."

Arthur spluttered, but his jaw quickly snapped shut when Alfred grabbed his arm and pulled him along. This was most definitely not going to Arthur's liking, then again, maybe it was going to Arthur's liking. He really didn't know anymore.

Alfred finally let go of his arm when they'd entered his house and Arthur hadn't moved from where he stood on the doormat in the hallway. He looked around doubtfully. Surely this looked far too…casual for the house of a priest.

"What're you standing there for? Come on in!" Alfred appeared from around the corner again, gesturing wildly for Arthur to follow him.

"I-if that's really okay?" Arthur stuttered.

"I wouldn't have invited you in otherwise," Alfred said, laughing slightly.

Arthur nodded and followed Alfred to what appeared to be the living room. While Alfred told Arthur to sit down wherever he wanted, the latter's eyes moved over the multiple pictures lining the mantelpiece of the fireplace.

Alfred, following the other's gaze, smiled mildly. "They're old pictures of me and my brother. We…used to be close, but he and I went on different paths. We don't speak all that much anymore."

"That's too bad," Arthur said softly. He smiled wistfully, remembering how he and his own brothers always fought.

"Ah well," Alfred sighed, "You can't have everything."

"Isn't that the harsh truth," Arthur laughed before sighing deeply as he remembered his own little case of can't-have-everything.

Alfred eyed him quietly for a moment before jumping to his feet. "Would you like something to drink?" he ask quietly.

"Oh no. I'm fine," Arthur assured him, not trusting himself with any sort of beverage in fear of shaking like a leaf. Not that Arthur was scared. Surely, that would be too degrading. No. he was just…slightly nervous. Just a little bit. Juste un peu. Oh, who was he kidding. He was nervous as hell he might screw up for all eternity. He was already quite certain he was going to hell and now he was in the house of the person for whom he was going to hell. Quite a lovely setup, wasn't it?

Alfred nodded and slowly sat down again, sinking into his thoughts. Arthur, on the other hand, was just keeping himself from fiddling with everything within distance. And that came out wrong. Very so.

"You know," Alfred suddenly spoke up again. "We haven't ever formally introduced each other, have we? Well, I know you're Arthur and you probably know I'm Alfred, but you know, proper introductions are—"

"How did you know my name?" Arthur cut in. He felt incredibly rude interrupting a priest, or anyone in general, but the notion just kept bugging his mind.

Alfred leant back into his chair slightly, frowning. "I…well I always noticed you during service, so I asked Father Ludwig who you were."

"Y-you did?" Arthur blinked in confusion.

Alfred nodded slowly. "Yeah, but since I never got it from you personally, how about we sorta start over with introductions?" When Arthur nodded, albeit a bit hesitantly, Alfred continued, smiling brightly. "So what's your name?"

"Oh it's Arthur. Arthur Kirkland," said Arthur quickly, grasping any sort of distraction for his mind that was cursing him to eternal damnation by imagining all sorts of reasons for as to why Alfred had wanted to know Arthur's name.

"Arthur…" Alfred thought for a moment. "In case you might not know; I'm Alfred Jones."

"I knew." Arthur smiled politely and blinked stupidly when he only just now realized that Alfred wasn't wearing his robes. Still a simple black tee and black jeans, but yet again, it looked so casual. Not that there was anything wrong with casual. Arthur was simply used to the robes. This was a new concept to get used to.

"So," Alfred said slowly, "About your confession."

Arthur stiffened immediately. Swallowing harshly, he managed to relax his shoulders slightly, but whatever ease he had felt before (which wasn't all that much to begin with) was gone out the window immediately.

Alfred didn't quite seem to notice as he continued on. "I still haven't had time to read up on it, but I believe the Lord loves all of us equally. No matter who you love. As long as it's love I believe it surpasses any judgement."

Arthur was frozen in place. This wasn't what he'd expected to happen. Just like in the confessional. "So it's not…bad?" asked Arthur carefully.

"Personally, I don't believe there's anything bad about people of the same sex being together," Alfred said thoughtfully. He chuckled when Arthur released a relieved sigh.

"Thank God," Arthur breathed, "Because it's you who I like."

It was like a bomb exploded. Except there was no bang; just the ear shattering silence. Arthur stared horrified at Alfred before evading eye contact completely and jumping to his feet.

"I…I—" Arthur stuttered and almost stumbled over the coffee table. His mind was on some sort of overdrive and it wasn't going in a good direction.

God, God, God, God, God, oh God, what have I done? God, why am I such a— an idiot! I screwed up. I screwed up badly. I have never screwed up worse than this. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I can never ever show my face in church again. Hell, I can't ever show my face outside again. I am such a screw-up—

"Arthur, wait!" Alfred had jumped up after him and had made some desperate attempt to grab the other's arm. He succeeded in both that and shutting down Arthur's entire brain and all its functions.

"I—Arthur, are you speaking the truth?" Alfred asked, slightly exasperated.

Arthur was staring almost longingly at the front door, but he had no will to pull out of Alfred's hold. He wanted to stay, but he surely also didn't want to stay. When Alfred asked his question all Arthur could do was nod automatically.

Alfred kept quiet after that and gently tugged at Arthur's arm, leading him gently back to the couch. He pushed Arthur just as gently down on it and sat down next to him, much to Arthur's panic. Alfred stayed quiet, though, succeeding in making Arthur feel even more stupid, ridiculous and downright ill.

"Why me?" Alfred asked quietly, somehow he was still looking sympathetically at Arthur, much to the latter's confusion.

"Excuse me?" Arthur managed to pipe out.

"Why would you like someone like me?" Alfred elaborated, though Arthur didn't find it elaborating at all.

"Why would I…? I don't know? I just do. You're kind and gentle and honest! You're just and handso—I mean, uh…" Arthur wasn't exactly sure what he meant anymore. He didn't dare look at Alfred, so instead he just watched his fingers nervously picking at one another.

He nearly jumped ten feet up in the air when a hand suddenly went through his hair. Said hand patted his head a couple of times before laying still on top. He heard Alfred heave a sigh, but Arthur was terrified of what his own face would show if he looked up now.

"Well aren't we in a pickle then," Alfred sighed.

"What?" Arthur's eyes had taken to watching Alfred's black socks.

"How to solve this. Mm, I wonder…" Alfred mumbled more to himself.

"I don't need solving!" Arthur exclaimed, finally looking up and vehemently into Alfred's beautifully blue eyes. To his surprise Alfred was smiling.

"Good, good!" Alfred almost sounded like he was cheering. "I wouldn't want to solve a crush I'd happily return. I actually meant—"

"Wait, what?" Arthur cut in. "What do you mean 'happily return?'"

Alfred positively beamed so bright that Arthur was blinded for a moment. "Well as a priest you sorta can't have relationships and such, but I was sorta attracted to you from the moment I saw you. I was kinda jealous of Father Ludwig, because you always went to him. You have no idea how many times I've had to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my thoughts! I think he has some file cabinet up there specifically for me and my thoughts. And now I'm rambling and why are you laughing?"

Arthur couldn't help himself from chuckling loudly. "You know what I thought when I went to confess to you?" Naturally, Alfred shook his head, so Arthur continued, "I had almost expected you to chase me out of the church by spraying me with Holy Water."

"Seriously!?" Alfred exclaimed. "When I was wondering about how to help you out in the confessional that crossed my mind as one of the things I could hardly do to you!"

As Alfred beamed brightly Arthur smiled back, but it fell shortly after.

"What's wrong?" Alfred asked, his own smile fading as well.

"I still don't understand what you mean," Arthur mumbled.

"What I mea—oh! I like you too!" Alfred said it so nonchalantly that Arthur's jaw nearly dropped open.

"You what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"I, Alfred F. Jones, like you, Arthur Kirkland," Alfred said firmly. "Clear enough for ya?"

"But why?" Arthur stared at him.

Alfred scrunched up his brows in though. "Mm, well," he started, searching for the right words. "I like your eyebrows, and uh, you say what's on your mind if you're not embarrassed. You're handsome and cute when you blush, and—"

Arthur held up his hands to stop him from talking, one of his 'cute' blushes colouring his cheeks again. "Why," he stretched, trying to hide his embarrassment (failing miserably in doing so, though), "did you mention my eyebrows first?"

"Because they're the essence that's Arthur Kirkland," Alfred answered dead earnestly.

"They're the essence…" Arthur trailed off and stared incredulously at Alfred, his blush forgotten.

Alfred nodded firmly. "Yup. Shall I continue with my list of reason of why I like you, or—"

"No, no, no! You've said enough already!" Arthur quickly interjected again.

"Too bad, though," Alfred sighed melodramatically (to Arthur the priest was becoming less of a priest by the millisecond), "I have a huge list of reasons as to why I like you. Ah well, I'll just say a reason once a day and eventually I might run out."

"You might?" Arthur asked slowly.

Alfred flashed him a smirk that quickly turned back in a smile. "Might, yes. I'm pretty sure I'll find new reasons to like you with each passing day!"

"What's that even mean," Arthur sighed.

Alfred smile grew even wider, and it was already 'too late' for Arthur to even realise that the hand previously in his hair had now slid down to his nape and kept him firmly in place as Alfred kissed him. Somewhere some instinct kicked in and urged Arthur to kiss back, which he did so, slightly hesitant. When Alfred let go of him again, a thoughtful expression was on his face. While Arthur was building up another panic attack on what he might have done wrong, Alfred glanced at the cross on the wall and thought about what to do. When he glanced back and saw Arthur looking like he was about to burst (of what Alfred wasn't sure) and he placed a light kiss on the other's lips.

"I like Arthur Kirkland, because he tastes of noodles," Alfred announced, grinning.

"That's because I ate noodles for dinner!" Arthur defended himself, his panic quickly forgotten.

"Oh? So you'll taste differently every day? That's even better!" Alfred chuckled when Arthur only sputtered in response.

"Shouldn't we think about other things?" Arthur then asked, effectively changing the subject.

"About what to do?" Alfred questioned.

"Yes," Arthur affirmed. "We can't really show off, can we?"

"No, we can't," Alfred agreed, taking Arthur's hand in his own. "But I don't really want to think about things like that right now."

"Me neither," Arthur mumbled as he met Alfred's eyes again and they both leaned in for another kiss.

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All right! Random Hetalia one-shot! I blame this on Rini and fanart from Amewica (the cover art to be precise) on Tumblr. I hope it was good. First Hetalia fic written, and Arthur feels kinda OOC, but I hoped you liked it anyway!

Also, I don't really know a lot about Christianity, so I researched as much as possible, but I couldn't find everything, so please forgive me if I offended anyone.

Please review ^^