The Family of Eight

WARNING: This chapter was not beta read; I merely proofread this.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail, Hiro Mashima does.

It was just another normal day in the Fernandes' household, and the family was currently busy within their own activities while they waited patiently for lunch to be served. "Meiko! Reina! Stop your bickering!" Lucy yelled from the kitchen as she cooked their meal. She sighed and rubbed her temples. Her children were far too energetic!

The twelve-year-old boy huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "It wasn't my fault she was screaming like a banshee!"

His twin, Reina, scoffed. "I wasn't screaming! It's called singing, dufus!"

"Oh, you were singing?" Meiko asked, blinking. "I thought you were doing a ritual to call demons."

"Why you, you, you—at least I don't eat noodles like I'm inhaling them!"

"Hey! I find that rather offensive, just so you know!"

"And you saying I sing like a screaming banshee not offensive?"

"It was the truth."

"Why I ought to—"

"Bite me!"

Reina grinned wickedly. "Oh, I will!" And she tackled the bluenette who gasped and clawed at her skin. She screeched and pulled his hair. "You fight like a cat! Ew!"

"No, I don't!" he protested. "At least my voice doesn't sound like nails scraping against a board!"

"My voice is melodious!"

"The day that happens is the day when hell freezes over!"

"You better wear a jacket when you go then!" With one more grunt, they fell off the couch and rolled on the floor, continuing their little fight. From the kitchen, Lucy's eyebrow twitched in irritation. She started to wonder whether her kids got their traits from their father. She snickered. That was quite the sight.

"Mom! Reina and Meiko are fighting again!" Layla, her sixteen-year-old daughter, shouted from her room.

Lucy groaned. "I am aware of that! They've been at it for hours!"

"You should hand them over to the asylum in the countryside!" Layla suggested and guffawed. Their mother twitched once more, sensing another vein popping on her forehead.

At least she had one sane kid…

"Don't bully them," Her eighteen-year-old son, Jude, reprimanded.

Lucy released a sigh of relief. Jude was her only son who wasn't chaotic and insane. Well, Kaiya wasn't like that, but she was spoiled by her father and Gerald was—

"Get out of my room, Meiko-nii!"

The said boy patted his younger brother's blue head. "Aww, don't be like that otouto!"

"You should just hand over your head to Reina-nee so she'll shut up," Gerald suggested, giving Meiko one last glare. "If you intrude one more time, I will hand you over to her myself!" And with that, he slammed the door in front of the bluenette's face.

Meiko's jaw dropped. "How could you do that to your brother?!"

"I refuse to accept the fact that I am related to an idiot."

He gasped. "I'm offended!"

"Sure you are! Now go leave me in peace!"

Meiko sulked and started to walk towards the kitchen, when Reina suddenly jumped out of nowhere and grasped his shoulder. He jumped as she laughed victoriously. "I finally caught you!"

"Oh, shit!"

Lucy whipped her head towards the door heading to the living room. "No cursing!"

"I'm sorry mom—AHHHH! Get away from me!"

The mother shook her head and started to wash the dishes. If she had time, she would've hit them all with a pan just to shut them up. Oh well, that was her husband's job, not hers. She shrugged and started humming.

She heard a yawn and her ears perked, turning to face her seven-year-old daughter, Kaiya. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and Lucy smiled, literally squealing over her messy blonde hair. "Mommy, why are they so noisy?" She asked, releasing another yawn.

"Your siblings are just having a game," Lucy lied, her smile widening. Kaiya may be an innocent child, but with enough exposure to her children's crazy antics, she could turn into one of them!

The girl propped herself on a stool by the counter and placed her chin on the surface. "But they always play that game without me," she murmured, puffing her cheeks.

Lucy laughed nervously. "It's too dangerous, dear."

"Fine," Kaiya said and hid her face in her arms, falling asleep once again. Her mother released the breath she held and wiped the sweat on her forehead. She didn't know how much more she could take before she exploded.

Just as she placed the last plate on the dish rack, Jude walked in the kitchen, blinking. He smiled softly and pulled out a seat for their mother. "You look tired," he commented and ushered her to sit down. He massaged her head and she sighed in relief. He chuckled. "I assume father will be lectured for leaving you alone to deal with us…?"

"Oh, he will not just be lectured," Lucy grunted, "he will deal with them for a week! I am going to go away on a vacation."

"Do as you wish, mother," Jude replied and resumed his actions.

The woman started thanking the heavens that she was at least gifted with a normal child, one who didn't go around destroying towns when going on missions. She winced when she recalled Meiko and Reina abolishing Oshibana.

"Is mother going through her daily headaches again?" Layla asked, striding in the room and sitting down a stool next to Kaiya. At Jude's nod, she grinned. "Father will be in for a very long scolding then!"

"He's a man," Jude commented, shrugging. "He'll be fine."

Lucy sighed. "He should act like one then."

Her second eldest child snickered, trying to hold in her laughter. "I bet father's just crazy! I mean, it's been such a long time since you two bedded, no?"

Lucy and Jude turned bright red. "Y-You! Don't be so shameless about it!"

"Oh, but it's alright," the other woman said, giggling. "The more the merrier, right?"

The Celestial Mage drifted into a world with eight children and paled. Her son stared at her and chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Looks like father will have to hold himself back. Mother doesn't seem pleased with the idea of more devils like Meiko and Reina."

"They were rolling on the floor the last time I saw them," Layla pointed out, batting her eyelashes.

Jude rolled his eyes. "The last time I saw them, Reina was biting his arm."

"Ouch."

Lucy groaned out loud and the eighteen-year-old jumped, resuming his massage. "If it would make you feel better, I saw Reina giving Meiko a gift."

She smiled.

"Oh, you mean that big green box? Apparently she filled it with cockroaches. Meiko flipped out and is chasing her around the house right now," Layla explained, and Lucy nearly pulled her hair as the said children's voices drifted in the room.

"I'll have snakes slithering in your bed tonight!"

"Oh yea? I'll fill your pillows with roaches then!"

"You should thank me. Snakes happen to be very fond of banshees!"

"I am not a banshee!"

"You scream like one!"

"No, I don't! And snakes aren't fond of them! I bet they'd hiss and bite them!"

"Good then. I was expecting that."

"How dare you treat your oneesan like this?!"

"You started it! If you sang more quietly and spared my eardrums, then maybe I wouldn't have started calling you a banshee!"

Kaiya, who was actually awake the whole time, leaned over to whisper in Layla's ear. "I agree with nii-san."

The older blonde snickered. "Reina does happen to sing like a banshee. Oh well, better not tell her or we'll anger her more."

"Good idea."

"—you rotten cabbage!"

"Phantom dweller!"

"Noodle inhaler!"

"Screeching dimwit!"

"Tattoo freak!"

"Hey!" Kaiya and Layla objected at the same time, both wrinkling their noses as they both had their father's tattoo.

"Ha! You're just jealous your cheek is bare!"

"As if, blue-headed lunatic!"

"Well then I suppose you're one as well! We are twins, right?"

"You, you—ARGHHH! I will castrate you!"

"Ooohh, I'm shaking in my boots! What? Are you going to scream like a banshee and shatter my ears after you remove my genitals? I'd rather take that trip to hell when it freezes over then!"

Lucy raised her arms in surrender. "I give up."

Jude laughed. "Father will be in big trouble."

"You bet."

Layla growled, still not over Reina's insult. "Hey, you little brat! Just because we have a tattoo on our cheek doesn't mean we're freaks, banshee!"

The said girl gasped. "How dare you call me a banshee?!"

"Well, you better believe it because you are one!"

Meiko pointed a finger at Reina and guffawed, tears in his eyes. "Ha! Layla-nee just called you a banshee!"

The blue-haired girl sniffed, facing her mother. "Mom! They're ganging up on me!"

"You're sixteen, Layla," Jude reminded and Lucy mumbled her thanks. "Stop acting like a child."

"But she called us tattoo freaks!" the said girl whined.

The man rolled his eyes at her dramatic behavior. "She was calling Meiko a tattoo freak, not you. If that wasn't true, you wouldn't be so offended."

Layla scoffed in disbelief. "Are you picking a fight with me, aniki?!"

"No," Jude stressed, wincing. "Just simmer down!"

"Fine!"

"Why in the world are you all shouting?!" Gerald appeared all of a sudden, arms folded over his chest by the doorway. "I swear even Fairy Tail can hear you with how loud you all are!"

"Who was shouting the loudest then?" Kaiya questioned eagerly.

Gerald leered. "Reina-nee."

Meiko burst out laughing, slamming his hand on the table over and over, unable to stop his laughter. "Ha! You don't just scream like a banshee, but you have the voice of a howler monkey too!"

"I am not a monkey!"

"Well yes, but you sound like one!"

Gerald turned to their mother and to the eldest child. "Please tell me they haven't been at it for hours."

"Sadly, they have been at it for hours," Lucy grumbled, pouting. "If only Jellal would go home already! What is taking him so long?!"

"Maybe he knows what the consequences are for leaving you with your six children!" Layla beamed, wiggling her eyebrows.

Jude cupped his chin. "It is a possibility."

Lucy groaned. "I don't even have the energy to call out Loke or Virgo."

"They're injured from your last mission," the blonde man said. "It's alright, I'll deal with them."

Layla smirked. "Good luck with that then."

Jude hmphed and was about to head to the squabbling twins when a book flew past his head. He went rigid and turned around, taking a seat beside their mother. "On second thought, I'd rather not."

Layla cracked up and Jude glared at the girl. Kaiya giggled and blinked, looking over to the stove. She called their mother's attention. "Mommy, I think the rice is done."

Lucy gasped. "I almost forgot!" She quickly turned off the stove and opened the lid of the pot, sighing in relief at the perfectly cooked rice.

"Tattoo freak!"

Gerald twitched. "You're just a witty brat that's jealous you can't have one!"

Meiko guffawed once more. "You just offended Gerald! I pity him, having to go through your tantrums just because you don't have dad's tattoo!" He burst out laughing again and the younger boy held his head in his hands.

"Can someone please tell me why I have two morons for siblings," Gerald mumbled under his breath.

Reina huffed and cross her arms over her chest. "I was so not calling you a freak, Gerald! It's Meiko."

"I have a tattoo. I have enough reason to be offended."

Layla jumped in her stool and slammed a hand on the counter, grinning at Jude. "I told you so! See?! Even little Gerald is offended!"

"You are so busted by dad!" Meiko sang, dancing a victory dance in front of his twin.

"Shut up, anti-cockroach!"

"Oh, I am so amazed at your ability to create ridiculous nicknames, banshee freak!"

"You'll be surprised at how fast I can make you run for your life!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Reina grinned widely and stretched out her hand to his face. She held a cockroach by the antennae, and the roach's limbs wiggled in response. The color drained from Meiko's face and he screamed, running away from Reina who was now laughing her head off.

"Oh my! Your face was priceless!"

Lucy heaved a sigh and started to move the food to the dining room. "Stop fighting, Meiko, Reina. Come on, it's time to eat lunch."

The said twins reacted at the same time. "Food!"

Jude chuckled and stood up from his seat, heading to the table with Kaiya and Layla trailing behind him. The little girl smiled happily. "Food, food, food, yum, yum!"

"Finally," Gerald grumbled, running his fingers through his hair before going after his siblings. They all sat around the dining table and Lucy sat on one end, smiling as she spread her arms.

"Itadakimasu!" They chorused, grins widening as they all dove for their chopsticks.

"Meiko! Elbows off the table!"

Reina snickered. "Busted!"

"Oh, shut up, you shrieking fool!"

Lucy threw a burst of magic towards their direction. A star hit the girl's head and she yelped. "Don't fight at the table!"

"Look who's busted now—OW!" Meiko's head tipped back as his head was flicked by Lucy's star as well, and he pouted. "I'm sorry."

Their mother sighed and resumed eating. "You kids give me headaches."

Jude gave the twins a light glare. "You shouldn't stress mother so much. I was hyper as a kid, but not as much as you lot. I wonder who you got your energy from."

"Probably father," Layla muttered behind a bowl of rice. She grinned as Lucy visibly twitched.

"That good for nothing blue-haired fool—"

"I'm home!"

Everyone at the table froze considerably, slowly turning their heads towards their mother who was currently gripping her chopsticks too hard. She started shaking as the person they were just talking about entered the dining room, looking lost. He was dressed in his clothes from when he was still in Crime Sorcière and was currently getting rid of his high-collared cloak. He stiffened as he sensed Lucy's aura and swallowed thickly.

"A-Ah! Lucy, my love, would you like a relaxing massage? Did you miss me?"

The said woman twitched once more and in a flash, Jellal was pinned to the floor with an enraged Lucy on top of him. "You good for nothing buffoon! If you told me you were going on a lengthened mission, you should've brought your chaotic children with you!"

Layla whistled, leaning over to Jude. "Father's got it hard."

"I don't blame her." He sounded partially amused.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't think it'd take long!"

"Oh, you didn't think, eh? You should've just brought me along then!"

"But you'd get hurt!"

"I'm a mage for crying out loud!"

"Your body's weak from giving birth too many times!"

"And whose fault do you think is that?!"

"Wha—you regret what we did?!"

"Of course not! But if I knew I'd suffer like this, I would've considered things more thoroughly!"

"Ah! You wound me!"

"Oh, shut up you dramatic fool!"

"Can I just eat lunch?! I haven't had a decent meal for a while now. You know I only like your cooking." At this, Lucy flushed and looked away, relaxing so that she sat on his hips. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

"Your petty little words can't fool me—"

"Please?" He begged and sat upright, slowly leaning forward so that their foreheads were touching. She turned darker as he whispered, "I missed you."

Layla covered her mouth to stop her from squealing. "Awww! Look at all that sappy romance!"

Gerald wrinkled his nose. "Who likes those things?"

"Mother does," the kids answered simultaneously. They were oblivious to the fact that Lucy and Jellal were whispering lowly. Her anger had finally settled down, and was currently wrapped around her husband's finger.

He smiled and placed a kiss on her lips. "Alright. Now, what's the food?"

"Beef teriyaki and tonkatsu!" Meiko and Reina shouted at the same time before delving in their food.

Jellal sighed happily. "Sounds delicious."

"You better start eating before you run out of food, dad!" The boy said, grinning widely as the father ruffled his head.

"Did you really cause so much trouble for your mother?"

Lucy hmphed, going back to her seat which was just across Jellal's and said, "They've been bickering nonstop."

"Didn't I tell you guys to stop exhausting her?" he asked, raising a brow.

Reina puffed her cheeks and Meiko pouted. "We're sorry," they muttered.

Jellal turned to give Lucy a smile. "See? They're behaved now."

"Thank goodness you're finally home," the woman said and heaved a relieved sigh. "I thought I was going to collapse from—"

"COLD! COLD! COLD! What in the world are you doing, you monkey?!"

"I am not a monkey, you stinking combustible!"

"Hah?! What is that supposed to be?!"

"I don't know! I just have a feeling it fits you so well!"

"Oh wow! You're such a moron!"

"Shut up you little cretin!"

"Screeching serpent!"

"Dingbat!"

"Flamboyant fondue!"

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"I don't know! But you're a fondue!"

"But you're calling me food!"

Jellal flinched at Lucy's dark aura and said to Layla and Jude, "I see the implications."

The sixteen-year-old shrugged. "They're actually quite behaved right now. Yesterday they had a food fight and were screaming at each other like it was war."

"Ah, but they ruined mother's manuscript so she got mad and chased them out of the house," the other blonde added, placing his chopsticks on his bowl and slapping his hands together. "Thank you for the food."

The bluenette paled at the thought. "Oh my, that sounds horrid—"

"You kids don't ever stop, do you?! Well then, as punishment, I want you two to babysit Natsu and Lisanna's child! Until you have put her to sleep, don't come back home!" With a loud cry, Lucy stormed out of the room and left her food unfinished.

Meiko glared at Reina. "Look at what you did! Because of you, I have to deal with Natsume's snot all over again!"

"It's not my fault you reacted so badly to what I did!"

"You would scream too if I slid some ice cubes in your pants!"

"Uncle Gray wouldn't!"

"He's an ice mage! And plus, he's an idiot!"

"Well then you are too, because you are attracted to bats and nocturnal creatures!"

"At least I don't go around wailing like a banshee! You make it seem like someone's going to die!"

"I told you it's called singing, you mongrel!"

"I actually thought you were calling for help! And your scream is hideous!"

"I scream beautifully!"

"In your dreams, you chipmunk!"

"Are you calling me cute? Because chipmunks are!"

"Ew, no! Chipmunks are disgusting and you are one of them!"

"I will tear you apart limb by limb!" A burst of light flowed from Reina's hand as she stood on her chair in a fighting stance.

"Oh, I will make you eat your words!" Meiko shouted and wrestled her to the floor.

Jellal sighed. "Unfortunately, they've inherited my insanity from when I was manipulated by what I thought was Zeref's ghost."

"Ha! I knew it!" Layla exclaimed and grinned widely at Jude, wiggling her fingers out at him. "Give me that wad of cash, aniki!"

"Darn it," the young man muttered before fetching a few jewels out of his pocket. He reluctantly placed the money in her hands and sighed in defeat.

Meanwhile, Kaiya was smirking as Gerald handed her a thick roll of cash. The boy then started mumbling incoherent words under his breath, paying no heed to his younger sister who was currently counting the money. Kaiya beamed and high fived with Layla. "Score!"

Jellal's eyebrow twitched. "You made a bet?"

Jude lifted his shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. "It was an interesting subject."

"Nose-picking retard!"

"Everyone picks their nose, you howler monkey!"

"That's so disgusting!"

"What did I just say, Meiko?! Reina?! I told you to head over to the Dragneels', didn't I?!"

"Yes mother!" they squeaked and hurried to leave the house, both shouting at each other the whole way there.

Jellal smiled wryly and leaned back on his chair. Ah, yes, it was just another normal day indeed.

A/N: Oh my! This was so fun to write! Especially Meiko and Reina! Now, if you've seen any mistakes, please do forgive me. As you can see, I may have gone overboard with this. I really did enjoy their quarrels and such :D If you would like to see the family, I have drawn them and I have posted the picture on my facebook page :) The link to that will be found on my profile.

If you guys are confused about the family's appearances, this is the thing:

Blondes: Jude, Layla, Kaiya and Lucy
Bluenettes: Gerald, Meiko, Reina and Jellal
With tattoos: Layla, Kaiya, Jellal, Gerald and Meiko

Or you can just look at the picture I drew, just like I said :) And yes, Reina and Meiko are twins, but they don't look THAT identical. Reina doesn't have a tattoo while he has one. Anyway, that's it :)

If you enjoyed this one-shot, please leave a review or favorite it :D

"But mom, Reina was singing like a banshee again!"

Bye! -Anne :D

- Please support/read my other stories: Celebrity Issues, Good Meets Bad, Forgotten Memories, Life's Challenges, Queen of Stars, A Love That Lasts Forever, Fragile and Going Against The Current.