Arbitrary Conclusions

28th of June 1849

My greatest regret, is not understanding a universal concept, which has become a poetic convention and an intellectual phenomenon. I have forgotten the meaning of love. The foundation of it. In my amnesia I have come up with a sickness, I do not know what it grief it will bring but the doctor assures me that it is nothing.

I remember the words of a colleague back in San Francisco, a writer who wrote, "Love is an unexplainable connection of affection that cannot be fully expressed justly into words and can only be expressed by continuous action and continuous reminder of its existence."

Beautiful conventionalisms won't necessary help regain my conscious of this unexplainable connection but I know this to be true. There was a time when I loved you. I prayed that this conclusion would not become so arbitrary but I believe it has. I guess some things were meant to be that way. Arbitrary.

-A. E.