TITLE: get a life (4)
GENRE: humor, romance
WORD COUNT: 2200-ish?
NOTES: i love writing this story more than u think srsly even though it's been…. 8ever
im attempting to make the writing style less... hectic... yah LOL
to the people who wondered what "salt" meant, it's something my church says and i somehow didn't realIZE NOBODY ELSE USES IT IM DUMB
salt basically means "annoyed" but in a jokey way? idk how to describe sorry 4 being a dummy
sorry this took 8ever ya know school is kinda kicking my ass
more like i'm failing HAHAHAHA go high school
IM SRY IVE BEEN DED thanks for the mucho supporto

*proves everybody wrong by updating lol*

LONG CHAPTER THANKS FOR WAITING I HAVE ZERO SENSE OF HUMOR BYE

"— do you think we're gonna… like die?"

"Maybe sexually harassed. Not dying. I think. Hisoka's into some pretty kinky ass shit though."

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(hey you...)

can you, like, please

"G E T"

a

L

I

F

E

?

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(psh, as if— stupid.)

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;-P

iii. the badasses may own the place, but they ain't got nothin' on us
part two.

UNGODLY HOURS 1 (AM)

This is a bad idea— it's also MY bad idea, AKA crazy AKA stupid AKA we're all going to die and explode into pieces, but yeah.

"Are we really going to do this?" shiny eyes whispers.

"It's strategy," I reply shortly. "You know, all the history and stuff— it's the only slim possibility of not getting sexually harassed until morning."

And to be honest, I'd rather die by Shizu's hands than be rap— sexually harassed by Hisoka.

Shiny eyes'... er, eyes (lol, grammar, like who cares) draw a clear blank, and I feel like RAMMING HIS FACE IN but alas cannot due to A CHILD PREDATOR PROWLING A CAMPUS FULL OF UNDERAGE STUDENTS IN SEARCH OF PREY AKA US.

Ahem.

I frown as we take a pause in the (now fired) janitor's closet. Yanno, the one who made out with a mop and I made famous with my kick-ass potentially turning gay blog? That one.

Smiley face.

"You know," I hiss at shiny eyes as we stake out the area, "Shizu-sensei and Hisoka have history— bloody, fucked up history."

Shiny eyes stops as he tilts his head behind me. "Eh?"

I blanch, and no, it's not at his head tilt. Shut up.

Here's the thing— there's several things you have to know in order to come to this school. I'm not saying it's because it's "super prestigious" or anything (because like hell with teachers like Shizu and Hisoka), but it's like a "family" thing.

(PLUS, they're in the brochure. Dumb brochures.)

I mean, all the yaks and gangs hang round here. Sorta wanna call it a reform school but people here are hella gifted, YES INCLUDING ME. Cue scoff.
(Gym class is hell. Hell. Also why I skip class all the time.)

Basically, this school is hella dangerous if you dunno how to survive— I always knew shiny eyes was a lil, I guess, naive, but seriously, everybody around here at least knows how to wield a mop or some shit (AKA janitor); it's basically a necessity here.

I mean seriously— why else would you come to this fucked up school for brats?

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NOTES1:
- shiny eyes is a weird kid
- i drOPPED MY
- SHOUJO MAGS SOMewhERE
- RLY hungry rn
- need one of 'em banana
- nut muffins
- this school is nutty too
- u c what i did there

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NOTES2:
- I CAN LAUGH AT MY OWN JOKES
- it's a freedom of mine

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UNGODLY HOURS 2 (AM)

"You really have no idea?" I ask suspiciously as I peek outside the door. "I mean— they avoid each other like oil and water during the day. Wherever Shizu-sensei is, Hisoka is on the other side of campus."

Shiny eyes squints his eyes for a few seconds, his hands squeezed as if he were earnestly thinking— "... no idea...?"

SERIOUSLY, SHINY EYES.

I'M ABOUT TO EAT HIM even though that'd fail to deter ANY SITUATION WE ARE IN RIGHT NOW. In the end though, I refrain from doing so and just sigh.

Here's the thing: shiny eyes is one weird character to exist in this school. I mean that in the most, um... basically, if this school was made of cats, he was the equivalent of a mouse.

(Like... okay wow, brain, rockin analogy but IT IS VERY EARLY-LATE AND I'M CONFLICTED CUT ME SOME SLACK.)

I sorta pause— like those Twix commercials where you always need a damn candy bar when it's awkward, like how the hell does that work?— because I'm not exactly sure if I'm supposed to like, tell him. It's not "confidential," because the entire school makes jokes and every Christmas, Netero tries to lock them up in a room together only to find knives in his ass the next morning, but it's like... strange how he wouldn't know.

My mind echoes that he's a spy, but then that'd really go from shoujo manga to Korean drama in five seconds flat, and NO, I don't watch those.
(Milluki does though HAHAHAHAHAHA.)

Then again, he's only been here... okay tbh, I dunno a whole lotta bout shiny eyes, SUE ME.

But anyway.

Shiny eyes and I are bros, so whatever, I'll make it fly.

"So, well. Basically, they were like... in a street... y'know, gang. Like, uh— together."

Cue strange, muddled silence.

"... how, uh, 'together?'"

I squint. "Pretty sure Hisoka's only teen-butt-child-predator sexual, but Shizuku swings straight, pretty sure."

"… but like... Leorio."

I sigh.

"Yeah, I know."

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username: killovescakes11
password: *************

Hello, welcome!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO:
textpost blog tweet status

SETTINGS:
public private

19 MAY
hahahaha

jk shizu-senshuu so had an exploratory phase
(i've seen pics)

if i tell you who, i'd be dead, HAHAHAHAHAH
hah lol LOL

and it wouldn't be shizu doing the killing
lol

... im gonna change my password
just in case
bc u kno scary hahaha CUE NERVOUS LAUGHTER...

— kil

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UNGODLY HOURS 3 (AM)

Shiny eyes, for once, regards me with those eyes— you know, the kind when you're sure the person you're with is a fucking psycho? Those eyes.

It's almost— okay, fucking really— offending, because how the hell am I the psycho between us?!

"It's true," I mutter, and even I know it's weak when shiny eyes arches a brow and pats my shoulder.

"... I think you're just tired, Killua."

I gawk— gross, gawking, but that's what happened because it's fucking late and I'm fucking exhausted and my fucking internet bill is through the roof and FUCKING HISOKA— because first of all, I am not crazy. It's a thing; everybody knows Shizuku-senshuu and Hisoka are like two sexual predators that can't be in the same enclosed space without biting each other's faces open or something. Hence, my genius plan of hiding in Shizu-senshuu's room, because you know, at least if he follows us they'll try to kill each other by eating each other's jugulars.

(I think jugular. Jug-yew-lar? Whatever.)

Also, about the street gang thing, it's serious. They literally laid wastage to that part of town. PLUS, it totally explains how Shizu-senshuu is a total badass slash scary mother fucker, and how Hisoka is so…. himself.
Digusting.

ALSO, HOW THE FUCK AM I THE TIRED ONE WHEN HE KEEPS FALLING ASLEEP WITH HIS EYES OPEN—

... wait, is he...

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UNGODLY HOURS 4 (AM)

SMACK.

"Mnhhhnngh, Killua," he groans loudly.

I digress my point.

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username: killovescakes11
password: *************

Hello, welcome!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO:
textpost blog tweet status

SETTINGS:
public private

19 MAY
oh g od

LITERALLY we are too not guarded because this is fucking scary. As much as my thoughts are scattered as fuck (a. because it's very early, and b. because my mind seems to be finding shiny eyes more attractive as he drools which is so fuCKING dumb so i'll blame it on brain malfunctions), I still have a game plan.

Well, somewhat.
It sounded smarter like maybe an hour and a half ago, but now I've realized several things.

This is an all-boys school.
Where the hell does Shizu-senshuu sleep?!
This is an all-BOYS school.

Part of me wouldn't be all that shocked with the whole janitor/mop incident and Kirapika being her— whatever the hell he— she?!— is but like, still.
LOL POOR LEORIO.
i have no idea what im saying damn tired sdhfjkl and shiny eyes is talking about our project who t f cares?!

— kil

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19 MAY
no no no no

HIS EYES ARE REALLY NICE SCREECH BYE

— kil

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NOTES:
- things im frightened by:
- 1. hisoka sexually harassing me
- 2. shizu
- 3. leorio when drunk
- 4. mom bc she's a fucking psychopath
- 5. illumi, for being friends with feeaking hisoka like wtf
- 6. ALLUKA AND HER MANGAS
- 7. my family tbh except milluki bc he's milluki and sometimes he games with me (lol)
- 8. digging gon
- 9. like really digging gon

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UNGODLY HOURS (LOST COUNT) AM

"Can't we just sleep here?" shiny eyes whines. My eyes narrow because um, fuck no we can't— Hisoka may not have keys, but he has some kind of voodoo magic apparently installed in his dick and he can get anywhere.

ANYWHERE.
(Don't. Ask.)

Second of all, we can't because said closet is very, very small. Like, our legs are jammed together and God, like I said, this is how the janitor and the mop started to do the dirty AND NO I AM NOT GOING TO DO THE HORTY-TORTY WITH SHINY EYES

PLEASE GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, SELF

Anyway, at some point during my DELUSIONS (because it's hella late/early/this is so stupid), he falls asleep. Again.

"Gon," I say as strictly as I can from my position on the floor, "I know you can fucking hear me."

"..."

My eye probably twitches or something insanely creepy like that, because Gon does open a single eye after a minute to glance at me curiously. His eyes still shine golden in the darkness, and I scowl in his general direction. Gon pauses, his mouth silent, but his hands move to shove my head against his lap.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK.

"You should sleep," he remarks cheerily as he pats my head gently. I glare.

"Don't patronize me," I grumble as I cross my arms and turn onto my back; I can feel my cheeks redden and can somehow hear Alluka shrieking somewhere in my head, because I know Alluka is a damn closet yaoi. This person— FREAKING SHINY EYES— always messes up my rhythm.

Shiny eyes just smiles when my eyes start to flutter closed because a, it's hella late okay stop judging me and b, his lap is very comfortable and warm bye.

"... wake me up in fifteen minutes," I warn him crossly, my blue eyes sharp.

"Mmhmm," he hums in agreement, his grin growing as I give in.

He looks more and more amused with every passing second, until he finally settles with a crooked sort of smile as he leans back comfortably, his eyes slipping closed.

"G'nite, Killua."

I fix my mouth into a tight line as I face away from him, a weird uncomfortable feeling in the back of my throat. I sigh heavily as his breathing slows, and mine fails to because even if it's late, I can't exactly sleep with my heart going through the roof like this.

I really, really can't handle this guy sometimes.
(Not including banana bread.)

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(I'M— SO GAY I CAN'T.)

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(Positive vibes, Kil.)

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MOOD?
confused

tired

nice

gay (HAHAHAHAHA)

WEATHER?
cloudy

TEMPERATURE?
hot ;-)

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HISOKA CAM
(one of sixteen)

His feet glide across the floor, his eyes sharp. He can hear the two little brats' breathing, their snores, can smell the booze leaking out of Killua's room. He can already see exactly what has happened (including Killua's rampages as he goes running from him), and he licks his lips amusedly.

For a second, he eyes the janitor's closet— he smirks at the tiny little shifts and noises, but eventually he turns around as he whistles on his way back to his room.

(The tune of his whistle is the Death March. How very, very fitting.)

"How unusual," and Hisoka stares disinterestedly at Shizuku as she silently appears. She swings a single set of keys around her finger, her brow arched delicately. "You're not attacking?"

Hisoka considers her. "Did you just get back?"

She shrugs, her fingers warm and wet and red as she pops her shoulders. "You're not attacking?" she repeats.

There's a second of tense silence, her keys jangling by her side, his fingers outstretched as if to touch her.

He chortles as he eventually passes by, and she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"It's not time— not yet."

Shizuku sighs, a trail of smoke billowing from her lips, and Hisoka pauses as she takes her time to answer. There's a trick of a smile on her face.

"It's just never the time, is it?"

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Netero rolls his eyes as he scans the cameras— or more specifically, CCTV Number 206 in Hallway Nine.
(Those two have always been his wild cards.)

"Damn melodramatics."

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TBC.

NOTES: im finished! hip hip hooray
sorry for being really MIA lately BUUUT school is kicking my ass + uni apps + other things

but slowly but surely I'll get there!
chapters may get shorter.

PLUS UNI APPS WERE DUE so im a free bird who can now update unless i... get blocked
which i am um... awkward silence AT LEAST I UPDATED?

also, i highly recommend yami no matsuei? Random but if ya wanna talk to me im here sometimes not rly i try
there's a noncreepy hisoka in there (like wat)

thanks for the support SLASH ROCKIN REVIEWS u guys are the sweetest
sometimes idek how you guys deal w/ me
SORRY IM SLOW lol

xxx.