Merlin felt the punch before he saw it. It was hard, just below the jaw and barely missing his lip. It vibrated his skull, made his teeth clack and saliva spray from his cheeks. He cried out as pain bloomed up the side of his skull and sliced down into his collarbone. He stumbled back, grasping the side of his face, and looked back with wide, stunned eyes.

Arthur stood with his arm still outstretched. His fist, and the hardened resolve on his features began to crumble. His eyes dawned with horror. He'd hit his servant. He'd hit Merlin. Innocent, open Merlin, who was sensitive and caring to the point of childishness. How could he forgive him for this? This could have done irreparable damage to their relationship, and it was all Arthur's fault

"Merlin, I'm…I'm so sorry…" he started, at a loss for what words could possibly convey the depth of his remorse and regret, could even begin to mend this terrible rift he had created between them through his thoughtless misdeeds, could start to heal the wounds he had so heartlessly and cruelly inflicted-

Merlin's fist cracked open Arthur's nose, putting a swift halt to his train of thought.

"Sorry this, you bawdy clotpole!"

Arthur reeled back around, blood flooding down his mouth and chin. Shock was quickly replaced by fury, and Arthur roared and tackled Merlin to the ground.

"Woman in disguise!"

"Lumpish bowel-mouth!"

"Idiot!"

"Prat!"

"Take that!"

"Kiss my bony ass!"

...

A/N: If you couldn't tell, this was satire. \o_o/