A/N: This is set in an AU version of Synthesis. More on that, LATER (not very, I hope?). At any rate, the first few chapters may feel a bit slow, as they are a bit heavier in the drama and fairly... lacking? in action or romance. But that is how the blocks fell into place when I sketched out the arc.

Disclaimer: Bioware created everything, and I rearranged the furniture. So yeah, go them!

Liara's armor was coated in deep hues of dark purple and red where asari and human blood had stained it, dirt clinging to the gore on her once white battle attire. She had been hit by shrapnel after the Mako in front of her exploded, in the final charge on Earth. She could still remember the sound of battle, the visceral crunching of bodies as they were flung by explosions and biotics. The Reaper as it landed before them. The sound of fear coming from Jessica Shepard. Fear not directed at her own well being, but towards Liara, as the Mako's fuel capacitors were ignited and a near-instantaneous explosion ensued.

The pain as the shrapnel had cut into her was immeasurable. White hot metal had ignored her kinetic barriers and cut deep into her sides. She looked up, seeing Jess crouched over her, no tears on her face. Instead of tears, Jessica's face was hard, not moving, set in an all too common battlefield grimace. Liara had seen such an expression on lover's face before, but never so tight, never so laced with worry as it was now. Liara's heart fluttered, and she realized what the bond she and Jess had committed to just before the battle had meant. In Jessica's eyes was not the cool, collected, calculated woman that led with calm and coordinated action. No, instead was the look of a person so consumed in worry and anger, worry for Liara's safety and anger at the ones who had done this to her, that she would move mountains to tear at her foes.

Suddenly, Liara was being hoisted up, as she heard Shepard yell into her comm unit, "Joker, I need an EVAC, NOW!"

The Normandy descended further back, and Garrus rushed into the opened shuttle bay. Shepard was still carrying Liara up the hill, cursing and stumbling as she went. As she reached the Normandy, Garrus rushed out and took Liara from Shepard, a knowing look shared between the two as Liara was taken further into the ship.

Liara turned to grab Jessica's hand, only to realize Jess is not there now. She looks frantically, and sees Shepard still standing outside the Normandy, shouting orders and seeming to begin to tear away from the ship. Liara cries out, "Jessica!" and a sob escapes her as tears form.

Shepard looks at the Reaper behind her, then back at Liara. Liara is putting her entire soul into her eyes, begging for Shepard to stay with her, to come back on the Normandy, to hold her and never let her go. Shepard reaches out, takes her hand, and whispers "I love you, Li."

Liara's sobs climb from silent, racking gasps to outright wails as she watches Shepard turn her back on the Normandy and head back to the fighting. Liara, choking back further tears long enough, calls out after Shepard, "I.. I love you" as Shepard lunges back into the charge.

Garrus and Tali drag Liara to the elevator, and the three of them head to the medbay. Liara casts about, grimacing at the wounds Garrus carries as well. She feels faint, and the wounds from the Mako are beginning to register in her mind. Liara slumps more heavily as the pain shoots through her system, and she cries out for Shepard once again. Garrus braces her, looking at Tali with worry. "Liara, your injuries are serious. We need to get you patched up, so you'll be here when she gets back. It is going to ok, Liara. Really." but his glance to Tali told of a lack of conviction. Shepard's fate was an unknown now, and while nobody ever counted her out, the odds seemed too far gone.

Liara nodded, missing the glance. She had begun to feel dizzy, and the calculating Shadow Broker side of her was unable to take hold, to formulate a plan. As she entered the medbay, a flurry of crew under the direction of Dr. Chakwas began cleaning wounds and applying medigel. Garrus had been taken to a separate corner, his wounds much less problematic. A severe set of shock wracked Liara as the armor that had been seared into the openings of her wounds was removed, and the room began to spin. A sedative was administered, and the grim work continued.

Joker was frantically maneuvering the ship, with EDI's help, to avoid Reaper lasers and friendly fire. He was also slowly maneuvering towards the Citadel, in the hope that he could aid Shepard in a daring escape, or help drop an EVAC team, or hell, whatever it was they could do. The one thing Joker knew was that Shepard was getting out of this, one way or another. She always did. It wasn't a question of if, but when, and Joker would be damned if he wasn't ready for her.

Garrus had joined Joker now, his injuries cleaned and bandaged. He seemed as dead set as Joker to get through to the citadel, to Shepard. Taking the targeting system from EDI, Garrus began to clear a haphazard and temporary clearing through the mass of reaper forces. The Citadel was being closed on.

Dr. Chakwas had finished cleaning the most severe of Liara's wounds, and preliminary analysis showed little deterioration. Liara was semi-lucid, as the sedatives began to work their way out of her system. It helped that the shock had set all her systems into a miniature overdrive, as her metabolism helped chew through the sedative at a heightened pace.

Liara requested to be let out of the Medbay. As Chakwas was preoccupied with other patients and Liara was, for the most part, as far along as the minor facilities would allow, she was allowed. Liara headed to observation to at least gather her bearings. She couldn't organize a coherent plan that made any sense to her on the issue of Jess. It was these damned Reapers. They were in the way, would stop her from achieving what she wanted, and she couldn't get rid of them. Liara leaned into the glass, the Citadel in view, and noted that their trajectory was, at least slightly, in favor of reaching it. She smiled. If anyone could get there, it was Joker.

Just then, a loud humming shook the ship. Confused, Liara patched to Joker. "What was that, Joker? What is going on?"

Instead of Joker, Garrus answered. That made sense, Garrus was never one to let others do the fighting for him. "We're not sure Liara. If you can see the Citadel, there seems to be a light pulsing from where the Crucible is docked. Maybe Shepard is causing it. Never count her to be out of the fight."

Liara looked back at the Citadel. It was, indeed, pulsing. Every 'THUMMMMMMM' the light would grow brighter than the previous cycle, and as the noise died down, it would grow dark again. The pattern had taken on a rhythm similar to that of a heartbeat; Two deep hums and a pause. The pace seemed to be alive, quickening and dying down at irregular intervals.

Suddenly, Admiral Hackett was over the ships comm systems. "The Crucible is active, all remaining ships report to your fleets designated rendezvous zones. NOW!"

The pulsing white light had ceased. Everything seemed so quiet. Even the Reapers had broken the battlelines momentarily, seemingly confused by the phenomenon. Just as suddenly as silence and fallen, a great rush of energy, like a solar wind, jettisoned outwards from the Citadel. The Normandy, which was still heading towards the Citadel, rocked heavily as it's Mass Effect fields flickered. Ashley rushed to the pilot's chair and shook Joker. "Joker, we have to get out of here, NOW!" she yelled, summoning every bit of her XO command into her voice.

Joker shook his head, "No no no no no." he pleaded with his earlier convictions.

Grudgingly, the Normandy made a fast turn and bee lined for the Mass Relay. Too much time had been wasted, though. The Citadel began radiating a green light, thick enough to obstruct visibility. The humming returned, the pace quickening exponentially. With each new "THUMMMM" the green energy expanded outward and rapidly retreated for the next "THUMMMM" Suddenly the rhythm stopped, and a constant, ear shattering note seemingly originated from the Citadel. The green energy expanded rapidly, coating everything in it's path and disabling all Mass Effect fields it came into contact with momentarily. While the ball expanded across the entire system, a secondary set of the energy shot out from the citadel, striking the Mass Relay.

As the crew of the Normandy watched in horror, the Mass Relay reversed its normal rotation of the rings and the core turned Green. After a few moments, the rapidly accelerating rings stopped and a green beam shot from the Relay, as well. Then, the rings fell away from the Relay and it seemed to power down. The Normandy was adrift. The Mass Relay was deactivated, the Crucible had been consumed in the blast, and the Citadel was severely damaged. Many of the crew had gathered near windows to look at the Citadel, the worst being thought of the survival of Commander Shepard.

Liara slunk onto the couches near the observation window. Around her, crew members thronged, trying to see what was left of the battle, the Citadel, and of Earth. Feeling collapsed upon from all sides, Liara fell away from reality, into her own mind. Sitting on that couch, as if in a trance, Liara began to think of loved ones, from Jessica and Benezia to even Aethyta. A sob choked out from her, echoing in her mind. This wasn't fair. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Shepard had promised her that she'd always come back, that she'd always be there. If Liara had to do the leg work to keep that promise for Jessica, then she would. The calculating Shadow Broker took over, and plans began to form.

Garrus was in the main battery. The Turian had been through hell on more than one occasion, but this time it stung. Worse than being blocked in his investigation on Saren, worse than losing his squad on Omega, Garrus felt panged at what had to be Shepard's death, deeply hurt by the implications, and by the loss itself. She was like a sister to him. No, more, a Sister-in-Arms. They had always been at each others backs, ready to face down any challenge. When he wanted more on Saren, she had been there helping him do it. When he was cornered on Omega, she had helped him get out live. When he had found Sidonis, she had helped him track the weasel down; and when he was about to take the shot, changing his character entirely in one swift motion, she had been there to talk him down.

Without Shepard, where would he go? What would he do? Who could he confide in? He sighed. As hard as this must be on him, the empathy he had picked up in his time spent with Shepard reached out for Liara. What of the poor Asari, so young by her people's reckoning. Would she recover from such a loss? Would she -

Liara opened the door the the Main Battery. "Garrus, I need you to get up and come with me." she ordered, although it seemed half-hearted.

Garrus looked at her, bewildered. "What are you.. Where are you going Liara?" he asked incredulously.

"To find my Commander, Garrus. I have to find Shepard." The tears welled up in her eyes. "You know her best, know what she is capable of. If anyone could have survived that… She has to be out there. I can't lose her again." The asari had turned away from Garrus, and was standing close to the corner, looking at the floor.

Garrus sighed. It was true, Shepard was the only person he could imagine living through this. The trouble was, he didn't think even she could have. "Look, Liara… I know how hard this must be, especially a second time. Not many people can suggest they've lost someone so dear to them twice. But…"

The Asari had turned to him, her eyes imploring, begging for him to indulge her fantasy. It seemed to Garrus that Liara was harboring similar doubts, but she couldn't let herself see them through first.

"Alright, yes. When do we leave, and where are we going, Liara?"

"Thank you Garrus. Thank you so very much. We need to collect one more person, and then we are going to borrow the Kodiak for an expedition to the Citadel." Liara seemed stronger now, as if Garrus agreeing to this was what she needed to convince herself the plan wasn't impossible.

Garrus inwardly groaned. He wasn't sure if he had been played by the Asari or himself, but his course was set now.

The Normandy had not had an opportunity to attempt a rescue mission for Steve Cortez yet, so James Vega was set in charge of Steve's regular duties. At the moment, he was reviewing the remaining Kodiak and trying to keep himself pre-occupied. They had all known the danger going in. Hell, Lola had known the most. It was miraculous that so few came out with injuries, and that the only two MIA were the commander and Steve. Still, Vega was having a relapse of survivors guilt from his previous command during the Collectors attacks on the colonies. It was the same pain, only amplified by the fact that instead of failing to command, he had been commanded in a way that saved him and the crew from the brunt of the attack. Despite being a sniper, Lola seemed to always absorb anything she could for the team.

Earlier, LTC Ashley Williams had dropped by to see how he was doing. When Vega had brushed her off, Ashley decided to stay, in order to keep an eye on him. Ashley still remembered the commanders words on Vega; He was a good soldier, a good man, but he took loss poorly, and had a tendency to blame himself for things that were impossible to be his fault. When Ashley had tried to suggest to the commander that Shepard suffered from a similar, all she had received was a glare. However, despite the commanders inability to self-reflect, she seemed to be accurate on Vega.

Ashley was at the weapons bench when Liara and Garrus arrived. She didn't even have to turn around, merely saying "About damn time, Liara."

Liara looked at her, confused for a moment, before realizing that Ashley was already on board. Liara beamed happily, "Well, if you are that ready, we need to go, now. Jess.. Shepard could be in danger."

"She's been in danger since we landed on Earth, Liara. A little more won't hurt. Besides, I'm adding one more to your crew. After all, we need a pilot." Ashley said, calling out at James "Hey, Vega, are you done whining to yourself? We need a ride."

Vega looked out, seeing Liara and Garrus. He was about to ask what for when it hit him. They were going out to look for Lola. Vega simply nodded and went to suit up.

Ashley sighed. She needed him to break this silent streak so she could reason with him. 'How am I going to force the issue,' she thought to herself.

As the Kodiak rushed through the wreckage, Liara explained her plan to the team. "Jess's armor should have an automatic beacon that sets off if her vital signs have dropped. If that isn't the case, and shes above the threshold, we will have to comb through the wreckage. It may be that she attempts to signal any nearby ship with a makeshift signal. Keep all channels open, and scan for them, as a precaution."

The Kodiak rushed past the ruined stations arms, and began its descent to the Citadel Tower. All four were staring at the refuse of the Citadel, a place they had spent so much time in. To see something so massive, so populated, utterly smashed as it was, and with limited to no life moving though out it.. the implications were too terrifying to comprehend willingly.

PING PING... PING PING... PING PING...

The noise had started to be audible as the Kodiak passed the Citadel Tower and had maneuvered closer to the Presidium itself.

PING PING... PING PING... PING PING...

Jessica Shepard lay on the steps of the Apollo Cafe, her body bent, broken, burned. The automatic beacon had activated some time before they had arrived, and was the only noise in the entirety of the Citadel outside of the Kodiak.

Liara's breath caught as she saw her bondmate, her partner for life, strewn across the stairs they had so often climbed together while away from the Normandy during the war. Tears came unhindered, although whether of joy at having found her beloved or in fear of the immense injuries Jess had incurred, she was not sure.

"Quickly, Vega, drop us near the Cafe. NOW, dammit." Ashley barks.

"Oh, Lola…" Vega breaths. The commanders body seems to confirm his ultimate fear, and his eyes seem to lose light.

"Dammit Vega, we don't have time for this. Garrus, Liara, go collect the Commander. Vega. VEGA. Look at me Vega." Ashley is shouting now, attempting to use the shock to break his shell.

Liara and Garrus disembarked. As they closed the distance, the extent of Shepard's injuries became more and more evident. Garrus looked down, thinking to himself 'Is this how you felt, Shepard? When I was laying on the ground from that gunship wound on Omega?'

Liara was sobbing loudly now, collecting Jessica's head in her lap, cradling her beloved back and forth as her tears dripped on Shepard's burnt face. She couldn't stop, she couldn't lose Jess, not again.

Garrus put a hand on Liara's shoulder. "Hey.. Hey now. It's OK. Let's get Shepard back to the ship, see what Chakwas can do..." he said, as he helped Liara to her feet. She pulled Garrus in, hugging him tightly, seeking comfort. Garrus's arms fell about her awkwardly, as he soothed her.

Ashley was shaking Vega and talking. It was incoherent to him, only registering the volume. Vega's eyes were transfixed on Shepard. He watched as Liara ran to her, cradled her, cried over her. His own tears flowed as he watched Garrus comfort her, as they collected a litter, lifted Lola on it, and began the trek back.

Suddenly, it was the day after they left Mars again. Vega was cursing; cursing Shepard, cursing Liara, cursing Hackett. Damn them all, he belonged on Earth. He needed to be on Earth. He couldn't be rash and excited here. He couldn't fight without abandon here. The team relied on each other. He needed to be on his own, to strike out on his own.

Then Shepard had come down. They exchanged flirtations, unexpectedly. Vega had hoped to embarrass her away. She kept digging, trying to learn his past service history. Finally annoyed enough, he offered to tell her if she sparred with him. She kept the questions coming, took cheap shots when he let his guard down, and avoided allowing him to land any lasting blows on her. At the end, she told him he couldn't blame himself, that he had done the best he could with what he got. And she seemed to mean it, as if personal experience fueled her.

Coming back to reality, Ashley was sitting next to him, shaking, tears falling off her small, pretty face. "What's up LTC?" Vega asked.

Ashley turned to him, "Why her Vega? Why Shepard. It could have been any of us. She deserved more, deserved better."

Vega put an arm around Ashley, trying to comfort her. "Hey.. Hey, it's alright. Lola won't let this take her down. She's just recuperating, getting ready to prove to the universe that it takes more than some filthy Reapers to kill her."

Ashley laughed a bit at this, her tears subsiding slightly, then looked at him, concerned. "Where did you go, Vega? I was trying to talk to you, but you were completely zoned out."

Vega looked away, sheepishly. "I was - uh - gettin' some advice from Lola. She told me to, erm, stop being an idiot and blaming myself for everything. She sounded real mad at me, so I thought I should listen."

Ashley looked at him, smiling slightly. "That's good to hear Vega. That's good to hear."