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You Looked At Me, And I Was Done

Chapter 15

Tara

Tara walked home from school, chewing her bottom lip anxiously. What an interesting day today had been. She had been late and received detention for the first time and then Jax had crashed her detention and now they were official. Now she needed to tell her dad.

It was one thing to date Jax unofficially and keep that from her dad, but it was another thing to be exclusive with Jax and not tell him. Her dad would find out one way or the other and the longer she waited, the worse it would get.

Tara walked across her yard and opened the door. As expected, her dad was in his recliner passed out with an ashtray of cigarettes and beer cans next to him on the side table.

Tara crept past her dad to her room, happy that he was passed out when she got home. She wanted to put off telling her dad about Jax for as long as possible. Tara knew her dad wasn't going to be happy with her and she was a chicken about coming clean with him.

Tara walked out to the kitchen and decided to make her dad's favorites. Meatloaf. She grabbed her mom's spiral notebook, tattered after years of use. On the pages were smears of ingredient stains from various dishes over the years.

Tara lovingly looked over her mother's curved and arched handwriting. Her mother had been an excellent cook, developing and mastering her own recipes. Whenever Tara followed her mother's recipes, she felt like she was talking to her mom.

As Tara began gathering ingredients and preparing their dinner, she couldn't help thinking about Jax. That kiss...the smile…"I made up my mind…"

She hummed lightly as she folded the meat over, working the seasoning and bread crumbs into the ground beef. She molded the meat into a loaf and glanced to make sure the oven was preheated before putting the pan in the oven.

Tara sat at the table after cleaning up the prep mess and began on her homework.

"Tara?" her dad called from the living room.

Tara stood, inhaling deeply, before heading into the lion's den.

"Hi Daddy," Tara said, smiling at him as she walked to the couch. She perched on the edge and asked him, "You feeling okay?"

He looked worried and upset. Was it possible he already knew about Jax? No...there was no way. So what was it? She reached forward and put her hand over his in concern.

"Got a call from the school," Carl Knowles said solemnly, keeping his eyes focused on her, "They told me you got detention."

Tara sighed and said, "I did. I was running late to homeroom."

"Why were you late?" Carl asked, but something told Tara he already had a pretty good idea.

"I...I got into a disagreement with Jax Teller and missed the bell," Tara admitted.

"Jax Teller?" her dad asked, leaning forward.

Tara nodded and said, "Yeah. About that, I am sort of dating him."

Carl looked at her for a long time and said, "I asked you to not get involved with that kid. With that whole crowd."

Tara nodded and said, "I know. But...I really like him. And I know you think he is just like Kyle, but he isn't. He is different."

Carl reached for his pack of cigarettes, sighing deeply as he lit up. "Shit Tara," he murmured around the cigarette, shaking his head softly.

Tara father eyes sting with tears from his disappointed expression. She never, ever disobeyed or disappointed her dad. It felt...awful.

"Don't go down this road, sweetheart," Carl murmured, blowing smoke out of his mouth away from her, "It ain't worth it."

"Nothing has changed," Tara said softly, but firmly.

"You never got detention before this kid," Carl pointed out.

"It was one time!" Tara said, immediately defensive. She had never acted out. Ever. And she was five minutes late to homeroom and suddenly she was going "down the wrong path"?

"Grades?" Carl asked, rubbing his forehead, not buzzed enough to deal with the fight brewing between them.

"Nothing is wrong with my grades," Tara said, reminding herself that her dad cared. That was what motivated this conversation.

"I was stupid with Kyle," Tar admitted, "But I am being smart with Jax."

Carl studied her for a while and said, "You're never stupid. That Kyle was…" he trailed off with an aggressive wave of his hand, "I just don't want that happening again."

Tara nodded, grateful her dad wasn't outright forbidding her from Jax.

"I want you to talk to me," he said gently, reaching forward and tucking her hair behind her ear, "I just worry about you sweetheart."

Tara nodded and hugged him tightly and said, "Thank you, Daddy."

Carl hugged her back and then Tara pulled back and said, "I am making your favorite."

Carl smirked and said, "Shameless...bribing me meatloaf."

Tara chuckled and he said, "A new low."

He reclined back in his chair and Tara, "Use what I got, you taught me that."

Carl smirked and Tara said, "I am going to go check on dinner and then finish my homework. Need anything."

"No sweetheart, go do homework," Carl said.

Tara couldn't stop the beam from her face as she turned to go back to the kitchen. The relief that she felt was almost overwhelming. Tara hadn't realized until Carl and she had talked how much her keeping Jax secret was affecting her.

When dinner was ready, she served a plate up for her dad who was engrossed in the ball game of the night and tidied up the kitchen. She was almost finished with her paper and would finish it in her room so the blaring television didn't distract her.

Jax

Jax jumped out of the shower in one of the back apartments and quickly dressed in his jeans and his white t-shirt. He grabbed his bike keys and his cigarettes and headed out, needing to see Tara.

He had tried calling earlier, but her dad answered and he immediately hung up. His mother's talk with him about Carl Knowles had successfully freaked him out, just not enough to give up on Tara.

Jax climbed on his bike waving to some of the club members hanging around the lot.

Jax revved his bike to life and steered his way towards Tara's house. About a block away, he parked and walked the rest of the way. He didn't want problems with Carl Knowles until he had a better understanding of the mysterious man.

Jax crept around the house, looking at the windows at the back of the house. Most were off, but one. He crept towards it and peaked between the curtain and spotted Tara lying on her bed, writing furiously in a spiral notebook, occasionally referencing a textbook that was obviously was of the AP variety.

Jax smiled as she bit her bottom lip and Jax had to admit it made his heart flutter. She was damn beautiful.

Jax lightly tapped the window, and Tara looked around her room looking for the source of the noise. He tapped again, just slightly louder and she jerked in shock and then relaxed and smiled as she placed him. She climbed off her bed and walked to the window sliding it open.

"What are you doing here?" Tara asked, "We have a front door you know?"

Jax shrugged and said, "Your dad freaks me out."

Tara chuckled and shook her head, "I told him tonight. He was...anxious at first, but then he calmed down."

Jax smiled, relieved that at least Carl knew about them. And now so did Gemma.

"So…," Jax murmured, giving her that grin he knew she couldn't resist, "Can I come in?"

Tara blushed, thinking about it for a moment and then nodded, "I guess."

Jax motioned for her to back away from the window and Tara walked to her bedroom and switched the lock in place.

Jax lifted himself on the windowsill and angled his body in her room slowly so as not to make noise.

Tara and Jax stood across the room awkwardly staring at each other.

"Homework?" Jax asked, gesturing towards the books.

Tara nodded, the question snapping her out of the moment and she gathered up her books and said, "Yeah, this paper. It's not due until next week, I just thought I'd get a jump on it."

Jax looked at her in disbelief...homework not done the night before? He almost always blew off assignments and when he did them they were usually always late and/or half-assed.

"Wanna sit?" Tara asked, perching on the bed lightly. Jax nodded and sat next to Tara, grabbing her hand and kissing it and said, "So...we are together now?"

Tara nodded said, "If that's something you want."

"It is," Jax said firmly. He never wanted a girl to be his before Tara, but the idea of being her boyfriend made him excited and happy.

"So no other girls?" Tara asked nervously, glancing up at Jax through her lashes. Jax only shook his head studying her. What other girl could capture him if he had Tara? He leaned forward and said, "No other girls," brushing his lips against hers softly.

Tara smiled and then kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him. Jax pulled her closer, against his chest and deepened the kiss. When he was certain one of them would die from lack of air, he released her lips, but held her close to his chest.

He rested his forehead against hers and asked, "So what about the dance?"

Tara looked him in the eyes, still slightly winded by the kiss. She said, "Me and Bobby are just going as friends."

Jax sighed and said, "It will look bad if my girl is going with some other guy."

Tara nodded and said, "I know, but I made a commitment. And you turned me down."

Jax nodded and said, "Okay."

Tara kissed his mouth softly and said, "I will go to the crowning and a few dances. Maybe afterward I can come by the garage?"

Jax smiled a small smile and nodded before slanting his mouth over hers once more and kissing her with all he had. He wouldn't be taking her to the dance, but that was his own fault. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

He had Tara and that's all that mattered.

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