Everytime you get undressed, I hear symphonies in my head

Unfortunately, Beca was right.

Jesse had hoped that the guys will get it out of their system and stop all this nonsense but it was not to be. The ribbing actually went up several notches. He couldn't even be within two feet away from Beca when a Treble or a Bella would either crack a trumpet related joke or blew out a few brassy tunes. It was relentless.

"Guys, what's this in my bed?" Jesse had hollered down the stairs in the Treble House one morning. He dangled the offending instrument over the bannister and tried to look menacing but all he heard back were sniggers.

"Seriously -" Jesse yelled. "I want an answer!"

"Oh that -" one of the Trebles finally spoke up. "That's a French horn."

"I know what this is!" Jesse had bellowed back, shaking the brass instrument and looking clearly frustrated. "What I want to know is; what is it doing in my bed?!"

"Ermmm... For all your 'horny' needs?" came the answer.

Jesse was this close to hurling that French horn down the stairs. This was not the first brass instrument he had found in his bed. Obviously trumpets. He found trumpets on his bed and one evening when he was dead tired and was about to collapse in a dead faint, he nearly sprained his ankle on a tuba. Let's not even start on the various saxophones he found in weird places. It was amazing how enterprising and down right thieving the Trebles have been just for these pranks alone. The Barden brass band must be short of a few instruments by now.

Apparently, Jesse was not the only one.

Beca was also not immune to any of these stupid jokes. It was very hard to get one over her and the Bellas were really gleeful they had something else to torment their captain with. The usual short stack and Shawshank jokes were funny but this was something entirely new.

"Amy!" Beca had roared down the hall. "Get those elephant posters out of my room."

She just came back from class. She was tired and cranky after a long week of assignments and came back to the Bella house, only to find her side of the room had been papered with posters of those pachyderms.

"What's wrong with them elephants?" the blonde girl had grinned back, moseying down the hall towards Beca. "Can't stand them trumpeting over your bed?"

Oh my god.

The puns.

The puns were so bad.

"Just get rid of it. Please!" Beca replied. "And while you're at it, that Viking helmet can go too." She was referring to the one Amy was wearing at the moment complete with a set of impressive looking horns.

"What's wrong with it?" Amy asked, feeling up the protuberances from either side of her helmet.

"What's wrong with what?" Stacie said, coming out of her rooms and looking at each girl in turn.

"Beca didn't like my horns," Amy complained, winking at Stacie, two fingers pointing at the helmet she was

"Oohh" Stacie commented. She pursed her lips thoughtfully and squinted at Amy's helmet. "Maybe they remind her of Jesse's..y'know...horn of plenty? I heard he's packing nine inches down there. Isn't that true, Bec? How do you even fit all that into your mouth?"

Beca was staring at the Stacie, slack-jawed now. How did the conversation about elephant posters turned into Jesse's penis? How?

"Pfftt. I'm sure Beca will manage," Amy smirked, taking of her helmet and polishing one horn suggestively. "We don't need a..ahem...blow by blow account."

"Shut up," Beca groaned, rubbing her temples now with both hands now. "Just shut up. Both of you."

This was what the Bellas been up to for the past few weeks. Pun after bad pun. If the Trebles had been harassing Jesse with horn instrument, the Bellas were competing on who can make the best (i.e worst) pun. 'Blowing Jesse's pitch pipe' was not even in the top ten.

"Say, Beca -" Stacie spoke up. "if you and Jesse were to make a sex tape, would you call it hardcore HORNography?"

"Oooh, a horno?" Amy said gleefully. "I would watch that sex tape! How is Jesse's orgasm face? I can demonstrate Bumper's if you like."

"Amy, no!" Beca yelled.i

Far Amy was already pulling a face and making weird grunting noises which sounded like a cross between a mating pigeon and a warthog. Beca didn't really need to see Bumper's orgasm face nor hear his weird sex sounds so she swiftly fled out of the Bellas house. She stopped just outside the door and sat down on the steps, taking a few calming breaths. Cardio was still not her strongest suit.

Beca whipped out her phone and quickly texted Jesse.

Where are you?

It took a few minutes before Jesse answered.

At home. Just finished playing bball. What's up?

Need to see you. I'm coming over.

You sure? - came the reply. - The guys are all in.

Beca chewed her lower lip, thinking. Jesse didn't mean to stop her from coming over. He was always happy for her to come over and usually Beca didn't even need to ask.

But things were kinda awkward lately.

No. No. They didn't have a fight. Things were good between them. It was better than good. She found Jesse amazing; probably the best boyfriend ever. He was sweet and caring and the sex? Yep, the sex was good. It was just these stupid horn and trumpet gags. They effectively shut down any sort of Jesse and Beca time and the tiny brunette, who had needs, was finding it increasingly frustrating.

All it took was a whiff of something going down between them and either the Trebles or the Bellas would march in and ruined the mood. Even when Jesse and Beca holed themselves up in his room and locked the door, those bastards would still find a way. They could have driven somewhere but making out in a car was super uncomfortable and no, Beca did not want to do it in the outdoors where they might be discovered or even worse, get bitten by bugs.

It had been what? Two? Three weeks?

Three weeks after regionals.

Three weeks of not getting some proper loving from her boyfriend and she was suffering.

Don't care. Coming over - Beca furiously typed back.

She didn't wait for an answer, going straight to the nearby Treble House through the gap in the hedge. Jesse was already waiting at the door, dressed in a grey cotton vest and his basketball shorts. He looked a little sweaty from the game with the boys. Beca would never admit it but she always like it when he was all sweaty and grimy like this. Something about the way his biceps and chest glistened with sweat drove her wild.

"Hey -" Jesse said, already leaning in for a kiss but he found his girlfriend ducking past, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him towards the staircase.

"Bec?" Jesse questioned , not understanding the hard, determined look on Beca's face. He had let her pull him along and now they were going up the stairs.

"Benji's around?" Beca asked over her shoulder.

"In the basement, practising his magic tricks. Only place safe for him," Jesse explained. "Can I know what's going on?"

"Benji's not in your room? Good," Beca said. She stopped for a minute at the top of the stairs and whirled round to face Jesse. "I hope you are not too tired shooting those hoops, Jesse Swanson. Cos I'm stressed out and frustrated and only you know what to do and what I need."

"Erm.. Sex?" Jesse guessed.

"Yes, sex," Beca replied, eyes flashing. "Right here. Right now. Well, not right here -"

Now he understood the hurry. Beca probably wanted them to run up to his room without being spotted by any of the meddlesome Trebles. But it was too late. Cody was on the landing and spied both of them.

"Hello Beca," he hailed the brunette, smiling cheekily, almost rubbing his hands with glee. "How are you this fine -"

"Can it, Treble," Beca yelled at the younger guy. She sounded so fierce that Cody stepped back in alarm. "I've got important business with your captain."

"Yeah ok. Sure -" Cody said, still trying to put up a brave front.

Beca made this growling sound deep in her throat and Jesse instinctively held her back because any minute now Beca would launch herself on that stupid Treble.

"Dude, get out - " Jesse said to Cody, bodily picking up Beca by her waist and walking towards his room. "- while you still have your balls intact."

He noted with satisfaction how the colour drained from Cody's face. Beca was spitting mad, wriggling a little in his hands but Jesse knew exactly what to do. He had to wait until they were in his room and the door was kicked shutbefore putting her down and kissing her hard on her mouth.

His girlfriend was a wildcat.

Jesse knew he won't have an easy ride dating this tiny, intense brunette but that was how he liked it. He loved the way she was always tried to look in control even though she felt like a mess inside. He loved how talented she was and how she made things looked effortless yet Jesse knew how hard she worked. He loved how passionate she was in whatever she do and how that passion always spill over to other things.

Like the way she was attacking his face and neck with hot, rough kisses right now.

Beca's hands were already underneath his vest, her nails lightly scratching up his back, pushing the thin cotton up. When Jesse pulled his top off, Beca's hands impatiently moved to the waistband of his shorts, dipping inside. Her hands grabbed and squeezed his firm ass and Beca pressed herself closer, grinding into him.

Jesse's mouth found hers and his fingers were slowly undoing the buttons on her shirt. Then he felt Beca's hand moving from his ass towards his junk. Her fingers curled around his hard on and immediately pumped up and down, her thumb catching on his very sensitive head.

Jesse groaned.

Damn, that felt good.

He had missed this. They hadn't done anything like these for weeks. He was still busy trying to take Beca's top off but the little spitfire was grunting impatiently, pushing his hands away and pulling it off in one fluid move. Beca was standing in front of him in just her bra and unbuttoned jeans and Jesse was about to enjoy the sight when Beca was already trying to tug his shorts off.

"Whoa, baby. Slow down," Jesse whispered, stopping her hands.

"We've got to hurry," she muttered back thickly, now in a tug-of-war with Jesse over his shorts. "- before those losers downstairs ruin this."

"Hey, those 'losers' are my bros," Jesse said lightly.

Beca frowned at what he said and how tight Jesse was holding on to his shorts. What was the matter with him? Guys usually jumped at a chance of sex and a blowjob. Jesse finally tussled away his shorts from Beca's hands. She was pouting dangerously now and Jesse quickly went into damage limitation mode.

"I don't want to rush this, ok?" he whispered huskily, picking her up easily and walking towards his bed.

He dropped her gently on top of the duvet and went down on his knees, pulling her to the edge of the bed, her legs either side of him. Beca was already reaching out, pulling his face close so she could kiss him again and again. Jesse expertly popped open the catch on her bra and within seconds, that scrap of lace pinged off somewhere in the vicinity of the room.

"Yeah, baby. That's it," Beca moaned as Jesse's mouth latched on her neck and his hands squeezed and mauled her breasts. She loved it when he played with her nipples, his long slender fingers tweaking and rolling her pink buds. It sent jolts of electricity straight to her loins and Beca could feel herself getting wet.

His mouth was even better.

If she didn't know otherwise, Beca would have guessed Jesse probably played the flute or the clarinet in high school to get so good with his mouth. Well, maybe not a clarinet? A tenor saxophone? Some kind of brass -

What was that?

What the hell?

Was she thinking of trumpets when Jesse was here sucking her breasts?

Fucking damn it!

"Wha - wassamatter?" Jesse mumbled into her breasts. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Beca blustered, pushing her hair back. She must have shifted and cringed away from him because of that stupid trumpet thought and now Jesse was blinking up at her quizzically. "Errmm...just need to take my jeans off."

Jesse wasted no time helping Beca kick off her Chucks and her skinny jeans. He peeled the jeans free and then ran his hands up her place, smooth legs. No matter how many times he did it, Jesse could never stop marvelling how soft and pale her skin was. He placed a kiss on the inside of her calf, then further up to her knee. Jesse looked up at Beca who was resting on her elbows, watching him with hooded eyes. She was biting her lower lip and without breaking eye contact, Jesse placed a kiss on her inner thigh.

He didn't stop there.

Jesse raised himself up, teasingly biting her on her hip bone.

She hissed a little.

"Jesse -" Beca complained, trying to wriggle her hips to where she desperately want his mouth. Seriously, such a pussy tease. Can't he eat her out already?

He was laughing deep in his throat at her frustration. She looked really cute when she glared at him like that. Jesse obliged this time, pulling her panties down and sinking his mouth over her sex. Oh, he knew how to work her. Jesse could be rightly smug about his skills here. He maybe a nerd but he was good at this. He knew when to lick, when to flick, when to suck, when to run his tongue across her wet folds. When to slow down. And when to be merciless.

And he was very well attuned to how Beca respond.

Which was why Jesse was puzzled when Beca suddenly pushed him away when she had been moaning and writhing underneath his mouth.

"Babe?" Jesse questioned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Beca replied. She pulled him up to sit on the bed and deftly positioned herself between his legs now.

"But you stopped me and you were very close -"

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to give you a blowjob."

Jesse didn't comment further because Beca's hands and mouth were around his junk and nothing, absolutely nothing can make Jesse lost his power of speech like the feel of girlfriend's warm, wet mouth sliding down his dick. God, what was she doing with her tongue? How could she flick her tongue like so when her mouth - well, when her mouth was pretty full.

Beca was concentrating hard.

Maybe if she concentrated hard enough, she could dismiss those trumpet thoughts out of her mind and actually enjoy herself. Jesse had been giving her the best oral just now. Seriously, the guy had the most talented tongue, and Beca was about to lose herself to a much needed orgasm when the thought of saxophone and clarinet and fucking trumpets intruded into her head yet again. It was annoying.

Beca slid her mouth upwards, dragging her tongue slowly against the sensitive spot right underneath his shaft and then lapped tip of her tongue around his loved Jesse's dick. It was beautiful, more than a handful and she actually enjoy doing this to him. She also loved the way Jesse was groaning right this minute, helpless, his hands tangled in her hair.

The rumour Stacie heard was right.

Nine inch packing.

Her boyfriend was blessed with a beautiful dick and very well endowed. And then, out of nowhere, Stacie's remark about Jesse's dick being the horn of plenty popped into Beca's head. And suddenly, all she could picture was various fruits and vegetables tumbling out of Jesse's hard on. Apples, pears, grapes, a butternut squash and pumpkins. Especially pumpkins. And that kind of thing definitely put Beca off her stroke.

"Bec?" Jesse croaked, opening one eye. He was enjoying this most amazing blowjob when it abruptly stopped and now Beca was sitting back on her heels.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Jesse asked, sitting up on the bed. "Something's bothering you."

He also surreptitiously pulled a pillow to cover his erection because Beca was staring at his dick and looking particularly furious. It was a little scary. Beca tsked loudly and then got up to sit next to Jesse on the bed. She was angry about something and Jesse frantically tried to think back to what he did wrong.

"I cannot believe I am being cock-blocked by a...by a...brass band!" Beca suddenly exploded.

A brass band? What was his girlfriend talking about?

"Oh. Ok." Jesse answered, trying to play for time. "And by that, you mean -"

"All these stupid jokes!" Beca raged. "You said they'll give up after a few days but noooo! It's been weeks. I came home with a bunch of elephants over my bed! And Amy with a Viking helmet. And Stacie saying we should make a sex tape and call it hardcore HORNography."

Jesse knew he should keep at straight face although it was hard. No, it was not hard, it was fucking impossible.

"Don't laugh!" Beca yelled. "This is all YOUR fault. You have to choose that song."

"Bec -" Jesse tried to reason with his mad girlfriend.

At that moment, they both distinctively heard some scuffling outside the door. It was the unmistakable sound of more than a few Trebles jockeying outside the door, whispering amongst themselves. "So we just burst in and do it like in the video?" "Door's locked. Who got the key?" "I don't have the key. I thought you have it!" "It's quiet inside." And the distinct parp of a trumpet, the clatter of something being dropped and someone shushing.

"Jesus!" Beca blasphemed, getting up to her feet.

She glared hard at Jesse before turning on her heels and heading towards the door. Beca yanked Jesse's Treble hoodie off the back of his chair and clutched it to her front before unlocking the door and pulling it just wide enough. The Trebles were caught unaware and there was a collective jaw drop when they saw the Bella Captain, obviously naked except for the maroon hoodie covering her front, from her chest to the tops of her thighs.

"Yes?" Beca snapped irritably.

Now Cody had just now ran downstairs and it didn't take very long for the Trebles to find out that Beca was in Jesse's room. They guessed rightly that both the captains were getting diggity, being the horny couple that they were. They had immediately sprung into action because finally, there was this perfect opportunity to do that Derulo number in Jesse's room. They had not been smuggling all these trumpets into the Treble house for nothing.

The plan was they would burst in, completely ruin the mood and get hell out of dodge before any of them got Injured. Easy peasy. What they weren't expecting was an angry Bella staring then down, looking like her gaze could turn them to stone.

"Can I help?' Beca said in a clipped tone, staring at each Treble in turn.

Pranksters as they were, the Trebles were basically nerds and the sight of a half naked female can still short-circuit their brains.

"Cody!" Beca picked at the youngest Treble with a quirk to her perfect eyebrow. "Did you need something?"

He nearly dropped the euphonium he was clutching to his chest.

"Errmmmm..." Cody stuttered, recollecting what his captain said about getting out whilst he still had his balls intact. "We.. Umm.. Jesse. We're looking for Jesse."

Beca leaned back in the pretext of looking where Jesse's bed was, which was round the corner from the doorway. She turned to face the Trebles at the doorway, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She knew the casual move revealed her bare neck and shoulders and the top half of her nearly naked chest. The Trebles were finding it hard not to stare at the tops of her breasts.

"He's busy," Beca replied matter-of-factly. The eldritch tone in her voice made sure all the Trebles were looking at her straight in the face and not at her goodies. "I'm sure whatever you need him for is less important than having sex with his girlfriend. So I suggest you come back later."

"Umm..ok," one of them said, backing down. The Trebles knew it was checkmate.. "We'll do that."

"Good," Beca nodded. "Now, go. You are interrupting a very good blowjob."

The Trebles were falling all over themselves trying to get out fast. Not quite fast enough for Beca because she immediately spoke up. "Just so you know, my dad, Professor Mitchell is good friends with Mrs. Pennyworth. They share the same office."

There was a visible gulp at her announcement.

"Anyone want to guess what Mrs. Pennyworth is in-charge of?"

"B..Barden brass band?" came the frightened reply.

"Yep," Beca answered, smiling evilly. "And if I am not mistaken, the punishment for stolen college property is a suspension, followed by a possible expulsion? For hardcore cases, of course. Now, wouldn't it be a shame if she found out who had been stealing all these stuff?"

The Trebles scrambled faster; some of them mumbling about taking back some stuff they just happened to find lying around. They were fleeing down the hallway but Beca was not done yet.

"You!" Beca yelled. "Peter!"

The poor freshman didn't know whether to freeze or run faster. He was running on the spot for a few seconds until common sense and a sense of preservation prevailed and Peter stopped his on-the-spot jog and slowly turned around.

"What's that in your hand?" Beca barked. The Treble was opening and shutting his mouth but no sound came out. Beca removed her right hand from the door and held out it imperiously. "Give that to me."

"Ye- yes ma'am," the guy stuttered, quickly offering it to Beca. He swallowed hard as Beca took it out of his hand. "Umm.. Shou..shouldn't I return it to -"

"Just go," Beca waved him away. "I'll take care of this."

Peter didn't need a second order and with another mumbled "yes ma'am", he fled down the hallway, nearly tripping over the carpet. Beca just snorted. She took a step back and slammed the door shut, dropping what she had in her right hand and then pulled Jesse's hoodie on.

Jesse had stood by his bed, quietly watching what was happening. He knew better than to interrupt when Beca was on a rampage. He had to say he was pretty impressed. Secretly, he wished he could whipped the Trebles into obedience just like that. But then, he didn't have any boobs.

He was grinning at how Beca managed to pre-empt the Trebles and something told him the guys would probably quit purloining brass instruments and leaving it on his bed from now on. His grin soon faltered when he noticed Beca didn't look at all pleased. She still looked rather crossed.

"That was something," Jesse remarked as Beca threw herself onto his bed and buried her face into one of his pillows.

She didn't answer and all he could hear was some inaudible mutterings. Jesse gingerly sat down next to her and when his girlfriend seemed intent to suffocate herself on his pillows, he carefully touched her on her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay?" he said softly. "I should have known the guys will take it to extremes. I didn't mean it to go this far. I just thought it was a nice song -"

Beca rolled over, huffing.

"It is. It's a great song," she admitted, not quite meeting Jesse's eyes. "And it was made for you Trebles. That arrangement and the choreography absolutely killed."

Beca slowly sat up, pushing her hair back away from her face.

"Maybe that's why I'm so fucking pissed," she said. "That performance was brilliant. You guys were brilliant. And you pulled that together in what? Two weeks?"

"So, you're not mad about the gags?" Jesse asked, a little confused now.

"Oh, I'm mad about that. Make no mistake about that. I'm mad at all these stupid trumpet pranks and all the stupid puns the Bellas are using against me," Beca answered. "Those stupid puns totally ruin my head game when I'm giving you...errr..head. But I am also mad we lost regionals to you. As a captain speaking."

"Ok. Good to know," Jesse said.

Beca looked a little less angry now so he decided to try his luck.

"Just to be clear -" he tentatively asked. "Are you mad at me for singing that song to you on stage? Because as an acapella nerd speaking, when you sang to me at ICCA last year -"

He couldn't finish because Beca was already kissing him hard on his mouth.

"Stop talking," she ordered when she broke the kiss. "Baby, you should really learn when to stop talking."

"Did you really found a tuba in your bed?"

Jesse shifted to a more comfortable position, cradling Beca closer into his side. The kisses had turned heated just now. One thing led to another and now they were lying, sweaty and satiated after some much needed sex. Jesse's legs still felt like jelly and he was contented to drift into sleep now. But of course, his girlfriend was suddenly curious about the stuff the Trebles pulled in the late couple of weeks.

"Yep," he answered lazily. "It started off small. Some annoying, squeaky toy trumpets but those bastards upped their game. You name it. Trumpets. Saxophones. They even dangled a French horn at the end of my bed the other day."

He could feel Beca shaking with silent laughter at his side.

"Those are pretty straightforward, right?" Jesse said. "But a sousaphone? Where the hell did they even get that?"

Beca's silent laughter exploded into loud guffaws now.

"Don't laugh," Jesse scolded, frowning at the laughing brunette. "Also from what you've said the Bellas didn't let up either."

"Ok sorry," Beca apologised once she got her laughter under control. "You're right. The girls were absolute bitches and their pun game was strong as fuck. I can't even decide which one was the best pun."

"Gotta be hardcore hornography," Jesse grinned. "Hey Bec, we could be horn-stars."

"Please don't," Beca replied, shaking her head vehemently. "The world does not need another another trumpet slash horn pun. You also haven't heard what Stacie called your dick."

Jesse decided it was best not to ask.

It was not until later when they were getting dressed that Jesse noticed the strange item by the door. It was lying forlornly on the floor, exactly where Beca had left it. You have to excuse Jesse for not noticing earlier. He had been very busy worshiping his girlfriend's body after all.

"Bec?"

"Hmm?" Beca answered, muffled by the tshirt she was pulling over her head.

"What's that thing doing there?" Jesse asked.

Beca puled the tshirt into place and turned towards the door. She saw what Jesse was pointing at.

"Yeah, took it off Peter just now," she answered.

She sounded casual but Jesse did not miss the way Beca hurriedly look down, pretending to be busy buttoning her jeans. He also did not miss that wide grin threatening to split her face. One she was desperately trying to hide.

"You took THAT off Peter?" Jesse said. "Bec, it's a trombone. Why did you -"

His question hung unfinished because Beca was laughing out loud. She was actually clutching at her sides, out of breath laughing.

"It's a...it's a...trombone," Beca gasped between snorts of laughter. "Trom. Bone, get it? Trombone."

She was chuckling so hard that it took a few moments for Beca to realise Jesse was giving her an evil side eye.

"What?" she said, wiping tears out of the corners of her eyes. "I thought it was funny."

AN : Fivefoottwo, nine inches. NINE inches *crying laughing emoji* When am I going to stop writing Jesse/Skylar Astin as a sex god and way hotter than he is? Trombone pun courtesy of waatp. Hardcore hornography was a real life name suggestion for a music shop.