Three Steps To Nowhere
Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!^_^!! This is my first story, and I was feeling unsure about whether or not I should continue. But your reviews really motivated me, and I'm glad that people are reading my story. I'm very unsatisfied with this chapter, and the characters are very OOC. Oh well.
~This is strictly 1x2 3x4. As for disclaimers, Gundam Wing isn't mine.
Chapter Two~ Duo's POV
I hate blacking out.
The years after my horrible experience with Pixie Dust, I blacked out at least once every few months from either pain or fatigue. It was a while before I became stronger, and pretty soon the number of times it happened went down.
Last year, I was real proud 'cause I only blacked out once.
So needless to say, I was extremely cranky with myself for blacking out twice in two consecutive days. And the fact that both times I woke up with a headache the size of a hippo didn't help matters any.
Again, I was lying on something soft, a firm pillow was beneath my head, and the feel of a thick, heavy blanket was drawn all the way up to my neck.
It was smothering me.
I sighed heavily and listened for the sound of someone close by. Nope. Only me...which meant that I was alone, and probably in a room somewhere. I quickly threw off my covers, wincing when the sudden movement tightened the shredded muscles around my bullet wound.
Yup, that's right. I remembered everything that happened before I fainted; the psycho, how I got shot, the elevator, and Heero. Since I was still alive, it meant that Heero had gotten me somewhere safe, and I was in good hands.
Now...if only I knew whether or not Trowa and Quatre were okay.
Groaning softly, I painstakingly pulled myself into a sitting position, and leaned against the headboard. Gods. All my muscles felt weak and sluggish. It was an effort just to sit up! I wonder how long I've been unconscious...
With another sigh, I reached up with my left hand and was about to brush limp, dirty bangs from my face, when my fingers encountered a large patch of roughness on my cheek. Oh yeah...I almost forgot that my kidnapper had nicked me in the elevator. God damn bastard.
Touching the scab grossed me out, so I quickly dropped my hand to my lap. The scab was about the size of a quarter, but it didn't feel like it was going to leave a scar, which was good...but I didn't like touching it anyway.
I was wondering where my savior was when the light swooshing of an electric door drew my attention. "Good. You're awake." A cold monotone voice that could only be Heero's rang out quietly. I forced a grin. "Yup. Would ya mind telling me what's going on?" My voice sounded real hoarse.
The sound of Heero's footsteps neared my bed, and one end of my mattress dipped downward. "After you passed out, I brought you to the hospital. From there you were transferred to Doctor J's laboratory."
"How long have I been out?"
"Three days." My jaw dropped.
"Th-Three days?!" I repeated incredulously. No wonder I felt so weak. Seventy-two hours of lying in a bed really turned my muscles into jelly...not to mention the fact that my body was also weak from not having anything to eat for so long..
"You lost a massive amount of blood, which prolonged your unconscious state." Heero explained. "With a few days of rest, and healthy food, you will be fine." Just then my stomach growled loudly, and I flushed in embarrassment. "Yeah...food sounds pretty good right about now." I agreed.
Heero's large palm was suddenly pressed lightly to my forehead. He withdrew it after a moment. "Your fever is almost gone. You may come to the cafeteria with me." Great...I had a fever too? Ah well.
Fighting the urge to groan, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and pushed myself up unsteadily. Cold hardness beneath my feet told me that I was barefoot, and it also made me wonder what I was wearing. The flimsy thing I had on certainly didn't feel like my warm sweater and jeans. I decided to ask.
"Uh...Heero...what am I wearing? And where are my shoes?"
"You're wearing a standard issue hospital gown, and there are a pair of slippers an inch to the left of your right foot." Came my prompt reply. "Your clothes have been thrown away, and you hadn't been wearing any shoes when I found you."
Ah. I remember now. Frowning to myself, I slipped the slippers onto my feet, and took a few small steps in order to test the strength of my legs. Wobbly, but all right. I smoothed down my hospital gown and sighed. "I can't go anywhere looking like this." I complained in a tired voice. "I remember what standards look like, and they aren't very decent."
Indeed I could feel that the paperish-plastic hem of my gown only reached mid-thigh. My legs were uncomfortably bare, as was a large portion of my back where the flaps had come loose. Heero was suddenly at my side. "The time is eleven in the morning. All the workers have already left, and no one will see you if that is what you're afraid of."
I bit my lip and sighed. "Alright then." No point in arguing. Besides, I was extremely hungry.
"Since there are no more objections, take my arm and I will lead you." He placed a hand on my shoulder. Reaching up tentatively, I took Heero's offered hand in my own and felt my way up his forearm until I reached his elbow. His skin felt warm to my touch. I hooked my hand loosely around his elbow and nodded my readiness.
The trip to the cafeteria was probably longer then it should've been. The still healing wound in my side ached, and the limp I'd gotten from the War twinged most uncomfortably since I hadn't been exercising it. I leaned more on Heero then I felt was comfortable, but he didn't complain. It took us ten minutes to reach the cafeteria...which was probably double the usual time.
We walked in near complete silence.
Heero didn't say anything except for a few short phrases that consisted of "Watch your step." or "There are stairs here." Normally I would've been annoyed, but I was lost in my own thoughts, too busy thinking of my strange situation to make any conversation. Heero didn't seem like the conversing type anyway. I mentally sighed.
Trowa and Quatre.
I needed to know that they were okay. Heero hadn't mentioned them yet, so I made up my mind to ask him about them later. He would know for sure. If it was bad news...if Trowa and Quatre were hurt, or even worse, dead...I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Especially Trowa. He was my last link to the past, my savior, my caretaker, and my best friend.
If Trowa was dead...then I'm not sure what I'd do.
"We're here." Heero said shortly. He led me to a table and set me down in a chair. "Wait here. I will get you some food." I nodded absently, and my thoughts suddenly turned to Heero. I found myself frowning. Who was he exactly? I didn't know, but I already trusted him.
If he was a friend of Trowa's, then he was a friend of mine. Trowa doesn't have many friends, but the few ones he does have are extremely loyal and close to him.
Wait a second.
When Trowa had introduced Heero to me, he hadn't said 'friend'. He had said 'partner', which was a completely different thing. A partner from the war.
I furrowed my brow. If Heero was a war hero like Trowa, then why in the world was he working for a scientist like Doctor J? Although famous, I've heard that Doctor J isn't exactly a fun person to be around with. He's a crazy genius, and there were many rumors a while ago that he had experimented on humans during the War.
Now why would Heero want to work for someone like that?
No...I was assuming things. How would I know if Heero was working for J? Trowa hadn't exactly given me much information about him, and all I knew was that he was supposed to fetch me for the operation. Apparently, he was taking care of me as well.
I rubbed my temples. Thinking about Heero made my head hurt. For now, I would trust him until I learned more of his occupation and who he was.
Heero came back a few minutes later, placed something in front of me, and simultaneously shoved a metal utensil in my right hand.
"Eat." He commanded. I heard him settle into a chair across from me. Leaning forward, I inhaled deeply. The smell of eggs, bacon, and sausages filled my nostrils and made my salivatory glands go into overload. I didn't waste any time digging into my meal.
Since I couldn't see, I randomly stabbed my fork (as it turned out to be) on the plate, discovering to my relish that Heero had also prepared me waffles, slices of various fruit, and buttered toast on the same plate. I just couldn't smell it earlier.
It was all very delicious, and the moment I started eating, my headache disappeared. I was so hungry that after I polished everything off, I raised the empty platter to my lips and licked all the leftover syrup and bacon grease off.
Heero grunted in disapproval, but I ignored him and set the plate down. "Are there any seconds?!" I asked hopefully.
Wordlessly, I heard him rise and take my plate. When he came back, he placed a cold bowl in my left hand and a metal spoon in my right. "Cereal." He explained, settling again into the seat across from me. "Too much sugar and grease is unhealthy."
I pouted, but began eating the cereal anyway. It was corn flakes mixed with chunks of strawberries and honeyed oats. As I ate, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the silence. What was Heero doing? Was he just watching me eat?! I'm not exactly one of the neatest eaters in the world, especially when I've been starved for three days. If Heero was watching me eat, then I was gonna be embarrassed.
Swallowing the food in my mouth, I placed my half empty bowl back on the table.
"Heero?"
"Hn?"
"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.
"Waiting for you to finish." Came my toneless reply.
I suddenly felt extremely stupid. Ah well, if we were having a conversation right now, I might as well ask him the more important questions on my mind.
"Heero...what happened at Trowa's apartment? Are...are Trowa and Quatre alright?" I sucked my lip into my mouth and chewed on it nervously.
"Preventers arrived ten minutes after you collapsed." Heero explained. "The apartment complex was secured, and your intruder was killed as he tried to escape the building. Trowa and Quatre are alive. They have been relocated to one of Quatre's mansions on Earth."
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were all right. I didn't have to worry after all. Smiling a little, I reached out to pick up my cereal bowl when the last part of Heero's sentence suddenly sank into my head, and I scowled deeply.
"Earth?! They went to Earth and left me here?! Trowa abandoned me for real?!!"
Heero snorted. "He did not abandon you. He left you in my care, and Doctor J has also given me orders to protect you and make sure you are alive for the time being. It is my mission."
I paled. "What do you mean 'make sure I'm alive'? I thought the guys after me had been killed! Don't tell me someone else is after my blood!" I heard the squeak of Heero's chair. "There is a certain organization that is responsible for sending those intruders to your apartment. Beyond that I cannot say."
"You can't or you won't?" I countered, feeling the build up of frustration in my head.
"Does it matter? I will keep you safe. Do not doubt my ability. I have never failed a mission."
I realized that this was the second time Heero had mentioned the word 'mission', and it sparked my curiosity. From what I knew, 'mission' was a term that soldiers used during the war. I hadn't heard that word in a long time. "What do you mean by mission? Isn't the war over? There aren't anymore missions."
There was a long silence, punctuated only by Heero's suddenly harsh breathing. The silence stretched and I found myself fidgeting. "Um...Heero, are you alright? Did I say something wrong?"
"That's a lie!" Heero suddenly growled out menacingly.
I was taken aback. "...What? How am I lying? What'd I say?" My initial confusion was slowly giving rise to anger. How dare this man accuse me of lying? As far as I knew, I hadn't lied since my parents died because I promised them I wouldn't, and I keep my promises.
I opened my mouth to retort again, but Heero cut me off before anything came out. "Say another word and I will kill you." He growled. O...kay...well that was kind of random. I cocked my head to one side. "Hey...if you kill me, wouldn't that mean that you'd fail your 'mission' then?"
"Shut up." Heero warned, and if it were possible, my vision would've turned red. My hands involuntarily clenched into fists, and began to quiver with suppressed rage. Who the hell did this guy think he was? I didn't understand what was going on.
Had I missed something important? Did I say something so wrong that caused Heero to threaten to kill me? But...I don't even know what I said! Heero also told me to shut up. Now that was what got me up in flames. *No one* was allowed to tell Duo Maxwell to shut up. No one. I began to tremble with anger.
"Now listen here!" I suddenly exploded out crossly. "I think I deserve more respect from you! You've treated me oddly from the first time we met. I can understand it if you don't like me for whatever reason, but I don't want to hear you threatening me with death, or telling me to shut up or anything! In case you wanna know, I don't like you either! But...you don't hear me threatening you with anything! So don't threaten me! I...I have feelings, you know!" I finished lamely.
Heero didn't say anything, and I stood up, feeling oddly satisfied with myself. "I'm...gonna go back to bed." I muttered.
I waited for a reply and was not surprised when I didn't hear one. I could sense that Heero was still there, but if he didn't have anything more to say to me, then that was fine.
I turned to leave. Having memorized the way to the cafeteria when we first arrived, going back alone was gonna be a cinch.
"Wait." Heero suddenly said, so softly that I almost missed it. I stopped and inclined my head towards his direction, but kept silent.
Heero came up behind me and placed his hand lightly on my shoulder. "I'm...sorry." He began, and it seemed like a struggle for him to get the words out. "I was...rude...and that was wrong...of me. Would you...like me to help you on the way back?"
Even though I was still a bit angry, his apology made me smile. I gladly accepted his aid and hooked my hand around his elbow again, even though I was capable of going back on my own.
I thought about lots of stuff as we walked back, mostly about my future, and a little bit about Heero.
It still amazes me that I might get my sight back. Every time I think about it, my heart beats faster, and I feel like going crazy with joy. But...I don't, of course. The memory of knocking myself out on the wall is still fresh in my mind, and my cheeks burn with embarrassment at the very thought of it. Heero had seen me when I did that. Gods...he must think I'm a total idiot. Maybe that's one of the reasons why he hasn't tried to be friendly with me.
Oh well. Heero surprises me. I don't know what to think of him, and it makes me uncomfortable. I didn't think trained soldiers like himself knew how to apologize.
My opinion of him hasn't changed very much; I still think he's probably a cold, ruthless killer, but because of the apologizing thingy, I feel that he has the potential to change.
~*~*~*~*~$~*~*~*~*~
When we arrived at my room, Heero led me to the bed and I sat down with a sigh of relief. My leg had been hurting again, and I was really in pain even though I tried not to show it. I was weak enough as it was, and I didn't want Heero to think of me as completely pathetic.
The walk had taken more out of me then I thought possible, and all I wanted to do was nurse my aches and fall into a deep sleep. Oh, and I didn't want Heero to be there anymore, his presence made me tense and tired. He was probably sick of taking care of me anyway.
So imagine my surprise when Heero sat down next to me and offered in a low, quiet voice..."You're in pain. Do you want me to massage that leg for you?"
I swear I gaped stupidly for a full minute before nodding. Hey, even though I didn't like Heero, I wasn't going to turn down a free massage.
And boy...could Heero massage!
His hands moved surely and firmly over my aching leg. He kneaded the right places, reducing the pain to a near non-existent twinge. He seemed to know exactly where I was having the most trouble, like that spot behind my kneecap, and the area by my ankle. I lay down on the bed and sighed happily as he worked.
He must've done this before, I mused to myself sleepily. He was a professional at the very least, and I mentally reminded myself to ask him for another massage some other day.
Ten minutes passed, and I was about to drift off into dreamland when Heero's sudden question brought me crashing back to awareness.
"What did you say?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if I had heard right.
Heero's hands rested on my calf. "Your scars." He repeated. "Where did you get all these scars?"
I involuntarily stiffened. To say or not to say? "Uh...they're from the War." I finally replied uncomfortably. "What about 'em? Are they...are they hideous?" Now this was a question that I had never asked before, and I found myself wondering why.
I haven't seen myself in five years. That coupled with the fact that I've been through more surgeries then I can count...I suddenly realized that I might look like Frankenstein's monster and not even know it.
Heero brushed his fingers gently along the length of my calf, causing me to fidget nervously. "No...no they're not." He replies softly. "They're actually barely visible, but I have good eyes." I breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah...Trowa told me that he hired the best doctors in the world to work on me, and I think they used a type of laser to seal up the wounds instead of stitchin' it together."
"Trowa's a smart man." Heero replied, and began massaging my leg again.
I smiled at the thought of my best friend. "Yeah man, he is. I wouldn't be here without him, ya know." A thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I debated whether to ask Heero about it or not. It wasn't a hard decision to make.
"Hey Heero?"
"...Hn?"
"Am I attractive?"
"...What...?" He sounded real confused.
I sighed. "Am I attractive?" I repeated. "I mean, am I tall and buff- looking and totally masculinely handsome?"
"Why do you ask such useless questions?" He replied.
I sighed and began to toy with the end of my braid. "Because I wanna know. Your question about my scars has got me thinkin' about the rest of my body, ya know. My physical appearance never crossed my mind 'til now, and I wanna know what I look like!"
Heero stopped massaging. "Do you really want to know what I think?" He asked solemnly. "It won't be what you want to hear."
I pondered his words for a moment and frowned. "Are you saying that I'm not attractive?" I asked disappointedly, feeling kind of put-off. "Is it the scars? Am I ugly? I thought I was pretty good lookin' during the War, ya know...I can't have changed that much..." I trailed off, feeling suddenly worried. So screw me, I can't help it if I'm a bit vain. I used to be a total chick magnet.
Heero snorted in amusement. "If you really want the truth, I'll tell you. You're short."
I winced. "Ouch. I'm short? I haven't measured myself in a while...how short am I?"
"Five feet and five inches." Came my prompt reply.
I sighed miserably. "That's how tall I was during the War. Are you sayin' that I didn't grow an inch in five years?!"
"That would appear so. Not only that, but you are fine-boned. You are...petite. And thin."
I gritted my teeth in rising frustration. "You're basically sayin' I'm a girly-boy! Lemme guess, I've got no broad shoulders, no big muscles, no height, and...no masculine handsomeness?!
"Correct."
I was about to scream with despair. What..what about my face?! At least tell me that I've got a handsome face!"
There was a brief moment of silence, and I imagined that Heero was analyzing my face very carefully.
"You have very long and thick eyelashes." He finally replied. "Your nose is small. Your jaw is not square, nor is it big. Your skin color is very, very pale. You have very little masculinity in your features. Does this answer your question?"
Depression caught me in its jaws and ate me all up. I hung my head in defeat. "You...have officially...ruined my perception of myself."
Heero stood up from the bed. "You asked." He said simply.
I sighed and nodded. "Yup I sure did, and now I regret it. At least I might be able to see for myself when the operation is over. Hey...speaking of the operation, when am I going to meet Doctor J?"
"He has already met you."
I was confused. "Huh?"
"When you were brought in three days ago." Heero explained. "Doctor J saw you then, and has already administered three of the seven laser treatments."
I brushed a hand through my messy hair. "So...I have another treatment scheduled for today, right?"
"Yes."
I nodded to myself in contemplation. "Alright then. Um...I'm kinda tired. Do I have time to rest for a while?
"Three hours. I will come back to get you when that time is up."
The sound of Heero's footsteps slowly receded, and the electronic door swished open.
"Wait!" I found myself crying out.
"Hn?"
I felt myself flush in embarrassment. "Uh...thanks, Heero." I said quietly. "For the massage...ya know, and for leadin' me around and stuff..."
"...Aa."
The sound of the door swished shut, and I knew Heero had left the room.
Sighing to myself, I felt around for the blanket, and then pulled it up to my chest. To my dismay, I found myself thinking about Heero again. His massage had really helped, and my leg didn't hurt very much anymore. I snorted softly and couldn't help but smile. Who would of thought a soldier could massage so well?
I yawned and turned over to my side. Maybe Heero isn't so bad after all.
********
Heero was true to his word. Three hours later, he roused me from my bed and we were off to see the world famous Doctor J.
I was a bit apprehensive about meeting the good doctor...because I always imagined him to be a cackling looney who loved to tinker with strange things like huge creepy machines, or vials of human embryos filled with green slime. Like a mad scientist. A genius mad scientist.
However it turned out that the real Doctor J didn't fit my expectations at all.
He was still a genius, yes, but he was also cold, impersonal, and to the point. He kind of reminded me of Heero...except that he didn't give me a massage.
I found myself disliking the Doctor immediately.
"Hello, Duo. I'm pleased to see that you are awake." Was the first thing that came out of J's mouth. The words sounded fine, but the way he said them didn't. He was complete monotone, and I found myself thinking that maybe J and Heero were father and son.
"Err...Hello." I greeted, a bit uncomfortably.
And that was the end of introductions. He didn't talk to me at all for the next hour and a half.
"Heero, you know the routine." J had said, and I quickly found myself led to a strange metal chair and strapped down with leather buckles. Heero had strapped me down maybe a bit too tight, because the leather bit into my wrists and ankles most uncomfortably. The entire laboratory also smelled strongly of chemicals, and I found myself fidgeting.
I could hear the Doctor fiddling with something off to my right, and except for those noises, everything was silent. It was very unnerving.
I don't know how much time passed, but finally I couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Is this going to hurt?" I asked nervously.
There was a rustle to my left, and something hard was pressed to my lips. "Drink this." Heero instructed quietly, and unthinkingly, I opened my mouth to let him tip the liquid inside.
I nearly gagged.
"Relax." Heero ordered. "Swallow it all. It's part of the procedures."
I reluctantly obeyed, even though it set my lungs on fire. When I finished, Heero removed the container from my lips, and I gasped for air, trying to get rid of the smelly, acrid taste that clung to my taste buds and refused to let go.
"What the hell was that!" I demanded loudly once I got my bearings together.
"A chemical solution that is critical to the operation." Heero replied, and held another container to my lips. "Drink."
I warily obeyed, discovering to my relief that it was only water. I gulped it down gratefully and the taste of chemicals was washed away.
"Thanks man, that's a lot better." I gasped out once I finished. Drops of water slipped down my chin and I felt like wiping it away, until I remembered that my limbs were still strapped down.
I frowned. "Heero, are these straps really necessary?" I asked.
"Yes." Heero replied.
Before I could ask him why, Doctor J finished tinkering with the instruments. "Alright, everything is set up. Let's begin."
I started to fidget again.
"Don't move." Heero whispered quietly. "If you do, it will only prolong the procedures. You don't want to be sitting in that chair longer then you have to."
I held still, and Heero slipped another strap onto my body. This one wrapped around my forehead and anchored my head firmly in place.
"Finished." Heero muttered, and the sound of his footsteps told me that he had joined the Doctor somewhere on the other side of the room.
"Good." J responded, and then he walked over to me and attached two round 'somethings' to my eyelids.
All this was very strange, but I didn't move an inch because Heero had told me not to.
"Begin the treatment." J commanded.
There was a strange whirring in the back round, and the round things on my eyelids suddenly began to feel warm. I furrowed my brow, and the whirring grew louder. A few seconds later, the round things became hotter, and I began to feel uncomfortable.
Doctor J touched the things on my eyes as if inspecting it. Whatever he found must've agreed with him, because the next thing he said was "Flip the first switch."
And then what happened next is something that I don't think I'll ever forget. Electricity suddenly began shooting out of the things on my eyes. The shocks burrowed right through my eyeballs and deep into my brain.
The pain took me by surprise, and I couldn't help but gasp and jerk against my straps. "What the fuck!" I yelped out loud.
The shocks kept coming, and I couldn't do anything but clench my jaw and try not to move...which was pretty damn hard because of the pain.
This went on for a minute or two, and then..."Flip the second switch." J muttered. I nearly panicked when he said those words, and then I swear to god my body began to convulse or something because the shocks suddenly became stronger.
What the hell was J tryin' to do?! Fry my brain until I was a vegetable? I was seriously on the verge of screaming out right now. I mean, I can't feel the shocks going into my brain since there are no nerves there, but I can feel them strike the back of my head, which only told me how strong the electricity was.
"Itaii..." I couldn't help but groan aloud, and my hands clenched into tight fists. Distantly I wondered if this is what it felt like to be sitting in the electric chair.
Unfortunately for me, the treatment didn't stop at the second switch. I was concentrating too hard on the pain to hear J call for the third switch, but I definitely felt it.
The pain increased ten-fold. I cried out hoarsely and my body tried to arch off the cold metal chair, only to be held back by the straps. Hm...I can see why there was even a need for the straps now.
My eyes were burning. Seriously, that's what it felt like. Doctor J had set my eyeballs on fire, and they were going to burn into a crisp because of him.
My entire body trembled, and I was on the verge of hyperventilating. This felt almost worse then my interrogation sessions during the War. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, something began building up behind my eyelids. It was a strange, fiery pressure that swelled with every burst of electricity.
Liquid leaked from the corner of my eyes, and I was afraid that it wasn't tears.
"S-s...stop it..." I ground out hoarsely. "Sstop...it hurts...gods..."
The pressure built up more and more, until I thought that if my eyeballs hadn't been burnt to a crisp, they were going to burst in my head.
I wasn't right, but it felt like that anyway.
The painful pressure in my eyes suddenly exploded, and then all I could see was white.
Please Review. ^_^
Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!^_^!! This is my first story, and I was feeling unsure about whether or not I should continue. But your reviews really motivated me, and I'm glad that people are reading my story. I'm very unsatisfied with this chapter, and the characters are very OOC. Oh well.
~This is strictly 1x2 3x4. As for disclaimers, Gundam Wing isn't mine.
Chapter Two~ Duo's POV
I hate blacking out.
The years after my horrible experience with Pixie Dust, I blacked out at least once every few months from either pain or fatigue. It was a while before I became stronger, and pretty soon the number of times it happened went down.
Last year, I was real proud 'cause I only blacked out once.
So needless to say, I was extremely cranky with myself for blacking out twice in two consecutive days. And the fact that both times I woke up with a headache the size of a hippo didn't help matters any.
Again, I was lying on something soft, a firm pillow was beneath my head, and the feel of a thick, heavy blanket was drawn all the way up to my neck.
It was smothering me.
I sighed heavily and listened for the sound of someone close by. Nope. Only me...which meant that I was alone, and probably in a room somewhere. I quickly threw off my covers, wincing when the sudden movement tightened the shredded muscles around my bullet wound.
Yup, that's right. I remembered everything that happened before I fainted; the psycho, how I got shot, the elevator, and Heero. Since I was still alive, it meant that Heero had gotten me somewhere safe, and I was in good hands.
Now...if only I knew whether or not Trowa and Quatre were okay.
Groaning softly, I painstakingly pulled myself into a sitting position, and leaned against the headboard. Gods. All my muscles felt weak and sluggish. It was an effort just to sit up! I wonder how long I've been unconscious...
With another sigh, I reached up with my left hand and was about to brush limp, dirty bangs from my face, when my fingers encountered a large patch of roughness on my cheek. Oh yeah...I almost forgot that my kidnapper had nicked me in the elevator. God damn bastard.
Touching the scab grossed me out, so I quickly dropped my hand to my lap. The scab was about the size of a quarter, but it didn't feel like it was going to leave a scar, which was good...but I didn't like touching it anyway.
I was wondering where my savior was when the light swooshing of an electric door drew my attention. "Good. You're awake." A cold monotone voice that could only be Heero's rang out quietly. I forced a grin. "Yup. Would ya mind telling me what's going on?" My voice sounded real hoarse.
The sound of Heero's footsteps neared my bed, and one end of my mattress dipped downward. "After you passed out, I brought you to the hospital. From there you were transferred to Doctor J's laboratory."
"How long have I been out?"
"Three days." My jaw dropped.
"Th-Three days?!" I repeated incredulously. No wonder I felt so weak. Seventy-two hours of lying in a bed really turned my muscles into jelly...not to mention the fact that my body was also weak from not having anything to eat for so long..
"You lost a massive amount of blood, which prolonged your unconscious state." Heero explained. "With a few days of rest, and healthy food, you will be fine." Just then my stomach growled loudly, and I flushed in embarrassment. "Yeah...food sounds pretty good right about now." I agreed.
Heero's large palm was suddenly pressed lightly to my forehead. He withdrew it after a moment. "Your fever is almost gone. You may come to the cafeteria with me." Great...I had a fever too? Ah well.
Fighting the urge to groan, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and pushed myself up unsteadily. Cold hardness beneath my feet told me that I was barefoot, and it also made me wonder what I was wearing. The flimsy thing I had on certainly didn't feel like my warm sweater and jeans. I decided to ask.
"Uh...Heero...what am I wearing? And where are my shoes?"
"You're wearing a standard issue hospital gown, and there are a pair of slippers an inch to the left of your right foot." Came my prompt reply. "Your clothes have been thrown away, and you hadn't been wearing any shoes when I found you."
Ah. I remember now. Frowning to myself, I slipped the slippers onto my feet, and took a few small steps in order to test the strength of my legs. Wobbly, but all right. I smoothed down my hospital gown and sighed. "I can't go anywhere looking like this." I complained in a tired voice. "I remember what standards look like, and they aren't very decent."
Indeed I could feel that the paperish-plastic hem of my gown only reached mid-thigh. My legs were uncomfortably bare, as was a large portion of my back where the flaps had come loose. Heero was suddenly at my side. "The time is eleven in the morning. All the workers have already left, and no one will see you if that is what you're afraid of."
I bit my lip and sighed. "Alright then." No point in arguing. Besides, I was extremely hungry.
"Since there are no more objections, take my arm and I will lead you." He placed a hand on my shoulder. Reaching up tentatively, I took Heero's offered hand in my own and felt my way up his forearm until I reached his elbow. His skin felt warm to my touch. I hooked my hand loosely around his elbow and nodded my readiness.
The trip to the cafeteria was probably longer then it should've been. The still healing wound in my side ached, and the limp I'd gotten from the War twinged most uncomfortably since I hadn't been exercising it. I leaned more on Heero then I felt was comfortable, but he didn't complain. It took us ten minutes to reach the cafeteria...which was probably double the usual time.
We walked in near complete silence.
Heero didn't say anything except for a few short phrases that consisted of "Watch your step." or "There are stairs here." Normally I would've been annoyed, but I was lost in my own thoughts, too busy thinking of my strange situation to make any conversation. Heero didn't seem like the conversing type anyway. I mentally sighed.
Trowa and Quatre.
I needed to know that they were okay. Heero hadn't mentioned them yet, so I made up my mind to ask him about them later. He would know for sure. If it was bad news...if Trowa and Quatre were hurt, or even worse, dead...I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Especially Trowa. He was my last link to the past, my savior, my caretaker, and my best friend.
If Trowa was dead...then I'm not sure what I'd do.
"We're here." Heero said shortly. He led me to a table and set me down in a chair. "Wait here. I will get you some food." I nodded absently, and my thoughts suddenly turned to Heero. I found myself frowning. Who was he exactly? I didn't know, but I already trusted him.
If he was a friend of Trowa's, then he was a friend of mine. Trowa doesn't have many friends, but the few ones he does have are extremely loyal and close to him.
Wait a second.
When Trowa had introduced Heero to me, he hadn't said 'friend'. He had said 'partner', which was a completely different thing. A partner from the war.
I furrowed my brow. If Heero was a war hero like Trowa, then why in the world was he working for a scientist like Doctor J? Although famous, I've heard that Doctor J isn't exactly a fun person to be around with. He's a crazy genius, and there were many rumors a while ago that he had experimented on humans during the War.
Now why would Heero want to work for someone like that?
No...I was assuming things. How would I know if Heero was working for J? Trowa hadn't exactly given me much information about him, and all I knew was that he was supposed to fetch me for the operation. Apparently, he was taking care of me as well.
I rubbed my temples. Thinking about Heero made my head hurt. For now, I would trust him until I learned more of his occupation and who he was.
Heero came back a few minutes later, placed something in front of me, and simultaneously shoved a metal utensil in my right hand.
"Eat." He commanded. I heard him settle into a chair across from me. Leaning forward, I inhaled deeply. The smell of eggs, bacon, and sausages filled my nostrils and made my salivatory glands go into overload. I didn't waste any time digging into my meal.
Since I couldn't see, I randomly stabbed my fork (as it turned out to be) on the plate, discovering to my relish that Heero had also prepared me waffles, slices of various fruit, and buttered toast on the same plate. I just couldn't smell it earlier.
It was all very delicious, and the moment I started eating, my headache disappeared. I was so hungry that after I polished everything off, I raised the empty platter to my lips and licked all the leftover syrup and bacon grease off.
Heero grunted in disapproval, but I ignored him and set the plate down. "Are there any seconds?!" I asked hopefully.
Wordlessly, I heard him rise and take my plate. When he came back, he placed a cold bowl in my left hand and a metal spoon in my right. "Cereal." He explained, settling again into the seat across from me. "Too much sugar and grease is unhealthy."
I pouted, but began eating the cereal anyway. It was corn flakes mixed with chunks of strawberries and honeyed oats. As I ate, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the silence. What was Heero doing? Was he just watching me eat?! I'm not exactly one of the neatest eaters in the world, especially when I've been starved for three days. If Heero was watching me eat, then I was gonna be embarrassed.
Swallowing the food in my mouth, I placed my half empty bowl back on the table.
"Heero?"
"Hn?"
"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.
"Waiting for you to finish." Came my toneless reply.
I suddenly felt extremely stupid. Ah well, if we were having a conversation right now, I might as well ask him the more important questions on my mind.
"Heero...what happened at Trowa's apartment? Are...are Trowa and Quatre alright?" I sucked my lip into my mouth and chewed on it nervously.
"Preventers arrived ten minutes after you collapsed." Heero explained. "The apartment complex was secured, and your intruder was killed as he tried to escape the building. Trowa and Quatre are alive. They have been relocated to one of Quatre's mansions on Earth."
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were all right. I didn't have to worry after all. Smiling a little, I reached out to pick up my cereal bowl when the last part of Heero's sentence suddenly sank into my head, and I scowled deeply.
"Earth?! They went to Earth and left me here?! Trowa abandoned me for real?!!"
Heero snorted. "He did not abandon you. He left you in my care, and Doctor J has also given me orders to protect you and make sure you are alive for the time being. It is my mission."
I paled. "What do you mean 'make sure I'm alive'? I thought the guys after me had been killed! Don't tell me someone else is after my blood!" I heard the squeak of Heero's chair. "There is a certain organization that is responsible for sending those intruders to your apartment. Beyond that I cannot say."
"You can't or you won't?" I countered, feeling the build up of frustration in my head.
"Does it matter? I will keep you safe. Do not doubt my ability. I have never failed a mission."
I realized that this was the second time Heero had mentioned the word 'mission', and it sparked my curiosity. From what I knew, 'mission' was a term that soldiers used during the war. I hadn't heard that word in a long time. "What do you mean by mission? Isn't the war over? There aren't anymore missions."
There was a long silence, punctuated only by Heero's suddenly harsh breathing. The silence stretched and I found myself fidgeting. "Um...Heero, are you alright? Did I say something wrong?"
"That's a lie!" Heero suddenly growled out menacingly.
I was taken aback. "...What? How am I lying? What'd I say?" My initial confusion was slowly giving rise to anger. How dare this man accuse me of lying? As far as I knew, I hadn't lied since my parents died because I promised them I wouldn't, and I keep my promises.
I opened my mouth to retort again, but Heero cut me off before anything came out. "Say another word and I will kill you." He growled. O...kay...well that was kind of random. I cocked my head to one side. "Hey...if you kill me, wouldn't that mean that you'd fail your 'mission' then?"
"Shut up." Heero warned, and if it were possible, my vision would've turned red. My hands involuntarily clenched into fists, and began to quiver with suppressed rage. Who the hell did this guy think he was? I didn't understand what was going on.
Had I missed something important? Did I say something so wrong that caused Heero to threaten to kill me? But...I don't even know what I said! Heero also told me to shut up. Now that was what got me up in flames. *No one* was allowed to tell Duo Maxwell to shut up. No one. I began to tremble with anger.
"Now listen here!" I suddenly exploded out crossly. "I think I deserve more respect from you! You've treated me oddly from the first time we met. I can understand it if you don't like me for whatever reason, but I don't want to hear you threatening me with death, or telling me to shut up or anything! In case you wanna know, I don't like you either! But...you don't hear me threatening you with anything! So don't threaten me! I...I have feelings, you know!" I finished lamely.
Heero didn't say anything, and I stood up, feeling oddly satisfied with myself. "I'm...gonna go back to bed." I muttered.
I waited for a reply and was not surprised when I didn't hear one. I could sense that Heero was still there, but if he didn't have anything more to say to me, then that was fine.
I turned to leave. Having memorized the way to the cafeteria when we first arrived, going back alone was gonna be a cinch.
"Wait." Heero suddenly said, so softly that I almost missed it. I stopped and inclined my head towards his direction, but kept silent.
Heero came up behind me and placed his hand lightly on my shoulder. "I'm...sorry." He began, and it seemed like a struggle for him to get the words out. "I was...rude...and that was wrong...of me. Would you...like me to help you on the way back?"
Even though I was still a bit angry, his apology made me smile. I gladly accepted his aid and hooked my hand around his elbow again, even though I was capable of going back on my own.
I thought about lots of stuff as we walked back, mostly about my future, and a little bit about Heero.
It still amazes me that I might get my sight back. Every time I think about it, my heart beats faster, and I feel like going crazy with joy. But...I don't, of course. The memory of knocking myself out on the wall is still fresh in my mind, and my cheeks burn with embarrassment at the very thought of it. Heero had seen me when I did that. Gods...he must think I'm a total idiot. Maybe that's one of the reasons why he hasn't tried to be friendly with me.
Oh well. Heero surprises me. I don't know what to think of him, and it makes me uncomfortable. I didn't think trained soldiers like himself knew how to apologize.
My opinion of him hasn't changed very much; I still think he's probably a cold, ruthless killer, but because of the apologizing thingy, I feel that he has the potential to change.
~*~*~*~*~$~*~*~*~*~
When we arrived at my room, Heero led me to the bed and I sat down with a sigh of relief. My leg had been hurting again, and I was really in pain even though I tried not to show it. I was weak enough as it was, and I didn't want Heero to think of me as completely pathetic.
The walk had taken more out of me then I thought possible, and all I wanted to do was nurse my aches and fall into a deep sleep. Oh, and I didn't want Heero to be there anymore, his presence made me tense and tired. He was probably sick of taking care of me anyway.
So imagine my surprise when Heero sat down next to me and offered in a low, quiet voice..."You're in pain. Do you want me to massage that leg for you?"
I swear I gaped stupidly for a full minute before nodding. Hey, even though I didn't like Heero, I wasn't going to turn down a free massage.
And boy...could Heero massage!
His hands moved surely and firmly over my aching leg. He kneaded the right places, reducing the pain to a near non-existent twinge. He seemed to know exactly where I was having the most trouble, like that spot behind my kneecap, and the area by my ankle. I lay down on the bed and sighed happily as he worked.
He must've done this before, I mused to myself sleepily. He was a professional at the very least, and I mentally reminded myself to ask him for another massage some other day.
Ten minutes passed, and I was about to drift off into dreamland when Heero's sudden question brought me crashing back to awareness.
"What did you say?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if I had heard right.
Heero's hands rested on my calf. "Your scars." He repeated. "Where did you get all these scars?"
I involuntarily stiffened. To say or not to say? "Uh...they're from the War." I finally replied uncomfortably. "What about 'em? Are they...are they hideous?" Now this was a question that I had never asked before, and I found myself wondering why.
I haven't seen myself in five years. That coupled with the fact that I've been through more surgeries then I can count...I suddenly realized that I might look like Frankenstein's monster and not even know it.
Heero brushed his fingers gently along the length of my calf, causing me to fidget nervously. "No...no they're not." He replies softly. "They're actually barely visible, but I have good eyes." I breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah...Trowa told me that he hired the best doctors in the world to work on me, and I think they used a type of laser to seal up the wounds instead of stitchin' it together."
"Trowa's a smart man." Heero replied, and began massaging my leg again.
I smiled at the thought of my best friend. "Yeah man, he is. I wouldn't be here without him, ya know." A thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I debated whether to ask Heero about it or not. It wasn't a hard decision to make.
"Hey Heero?"
"...Hn?"
"Am I attractive?"
"...What...?" He sounded real confused.
I sighed. "Am I attractive?" I repeated. "I mean, am I tall and buff- looking and totally masculinely handsome?"
"Why do you ask such useless questions?" He replied.
I sighed and began to toy with the end of my braid. "Because I wanna know. Your question about my scars has got me thinkin' about the rest of my body, ya know. My physical appearance never crossed my mind 'til now, and I wanna know what I look like!"
Heero stopped massaging. "Do you really want to know what I think?" He asked solemnly. "It won't be what you want to hear."
I pondered his words for a moment and frowned. "Are you saying that I'm not attractive?" I asked disappointedly, feeling kind of put-off. "Is it the scars? Am I ugly? I thought I was pretty good lookin' during the War, ya know...I can't have changed that much..." I trailed off, feeling suddenly worried. So screw me, I can't help it if I'm a bit vain. I used to be a total chick magnet.
Heero snorted in amusement. "If you really want the truth, I'll tell you. You're short."
I winced. "Ouch. I'm short? I haven't measured myself in a while...how short am I?"
"Five feet and five inches." Came my prompt reply.
I sighed miserably. "That's how tall I was during the War. Are you sayin' that I didn't grow an inch in five years?!"
"That would appear so. Not only that, but you are fine-boned. You are...petite. And thin."
I gritted my teeth in rising frustration. "You're basically sayin' I'm a girly-boy! Lemme guess, I've got no broad shoulders, no big muscles, no height, and...no masculine handsomeness?!
"Correct."
I was about to scream with despair. What..what about my face?! At least tell me that I've got a handsome face!"
There was a brief moment of silence, and I imagined that Heero was analyzing my face very carefully.
"You have very long and thick eyelashes." He finally replied. "Your nose is small. Your jaw is not square, nor is it big. Your skin color is very, very pale. You have very little masculinity in your features. Does this answer your question?"
Depression caught me in its jaws and ate me all up. I hung my head in defeat. "You...have officially...ruined my perception of myself."
Heero stood up from the bed. "You asked." He said simply.
I sighed and nodded. "Yup I sure did, and now I regret it. At least I might be able to see for myself when the operation is over. Hey...speaking of the operation, when am I going to meet Doctor J?"
"He has already met you."
I was confused. "Huh?"
"When you were brought in three days ago." Heero explained. "Doctor J saw you then, and has already administered three of the seven laser treatments."
I brushed a hand through my messy hair. "So...I have another treatment scheduled for today, right?"
"Yes."
I nodded to myself in contemplation. "Alright then. Um...I'm kinda tired. Do I have time to rest for a while?
"Three hours. I will come back to get you when that time is up."
The sound of Heero's footsteps slowly receded, and the electronic door swished open.
"Wait!" I found myself crying out.
"Hn?"
I felt myself flush in embarrassment. "Uh...thanks, Heero." I said quietly. "For the massage...ya know, and for leadin' me around and stuff..."
"...Aa."
The sound of the door swished shut, and I knew Heero had left the room.
Sighing to myself, I felt around for the blanket, and then pulled it up to my chest. To my dismay, I found myself thinking about Heero again. His massage had really helped, and my leg didn't hurt very much anymore. I snorted softly and couldn't help but smile. Who would of thought a soldier could massage so well?
I yawned and turned over to my side. Maybe Heero isn't so bad after all.
********
Heero was true to his word. Three hours later, he roused me from my bed and we were off to see the world famous Doctor J.
I was a bit apprehensive about meeting the good doctor...because I always imagined him to be a cackling looney who loved to tinker with strange things like huge creepy machines, or vials of human embryos filled with green slime. Like a mad scientist. A genius mad scientist.
However it turned out that the real Doctor J didn't fit my expectations at all.
He was still a genius, yes, but he was also cold, impersonal, and to the point. He kind of reminded me of Heero...except that he didn't give me a massage.
I found myself disliking the Doctor immediately.
"Hello, Duo. I'm pleased to see that you are awake." Was the first thing that came out of J's mouth. The words sounded fine, but the way he said them didn't. He was complete monotone, and I found myself thinking that maybe J and Heero were father and son.
"Err...Hello." I greeted, a bit uncomfortably.
And that was the end of introductions. He didn't talk to me at all for the next hour and a half.
"Heero, you know the routine." J had said, and I quickly found myself led to a strange metal chair and strapped down with leather buckles. Heero had strapped me down maybe a bit too tight, because the leather bit into my wrists and ankles most uncomfortably. The entire laboratory also smelled strongly of chemicals, and I found myself fidgeting.
I could hear the Doctor fiddling with something off to my right, and except for those noises, everything was silent. It was very unnerving.
I don't know how much time passed, but finally I couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Is this going to hurt?" I asked nervously.
There was a rustle to my left, and something hard was pressed to my lips. "Drink this." Heero instructed quietly, and unthinkingly, I opened my mouth to let him tip the liquid inside.
I nearly gagged.
"Relax." Heero ordered. "Swallow it all. It's part of the procedures."
I reluctantly obeyed, even though it set my lungs on fire. When I finished, Heero removed the container from my lips, and I gasped for air, trying to get rid of the smelly, acrid taste that clung to my taste buds and refused to let go.
"What the hell was that!" I demanded loudly once I got my bearings together.
"A chemical solution that is critical to the operation." Heero replied, and held another container to my lips. "Drink."
I warily obeyed, discovering to my relief that it was only water. I gulped it down gratefully and the taste of chemicals was washed away.
"Thanks man, that's a lot better." I gasped out once I finished. Drops of water slipped down my chin and I felt like wiping it away, until I remembered that my limbs were still strapped down.
I frowned. "Heero, are these straps really necessary?" I asked.
"Yes." Heero replied.
Before I could ask him why, Doctor J finished tinkering with the instruments. "Alright, everything is set up. Let's begin."
I started to fidget again.
"Don't move." Heero whispered quietly. "If you do, it will only prolong the procedures. You don't want to be sitting in that chair longer then you have to."
I held still, and Heero slipped another strap onto my body. This one wrapped around my forehead and anchored my head firmly in place.
"Finished." Heero muttered, and the sound of his footsteps told me that he had joined the Doctor somewhere on the other side of the room.
"Good." J responded, and then he walked over to me and attached two round 'somethings' to my eyelids.
All this was very strange, but I didn't move an inch because Heero had told me not to.
"Begin the treatment." J commanded.
There was a strange whirring in the back round, and the round things on my eyelids suddenly began to feel warm. I furrowed my brow, and the whirring grew louder. A few seconds later, the round things became hotter, and I began to feel uncomfortable.
Doctor J touched the things on my eyes as if inspecting it. Whatever he found must've agreed with him, because the next thing he said was "Flip the first switch."
And then what happened next is something that I don't think I'll ever forget. Electricity suddenly began shooting out of the things on my eyes. The shocks burrowed right through my eyeballs and deep into my brain.
The pain took me by surprise, and I couldn't help but gasp and jerk against my straps. "What the fuck!" I yelped out loud.
The shocks kept coming, and I couldn't do anything but clench my jaw and try not to move...which was pretty damn hard because of the pain.
This went on for a minute or two, and then..."Flip the second switch." J muttered. I nearly panicked when he said those words, and then I swear to god my body began to convulse or something because the shocks suddenly became stronger.
What the hell was J tryin' to do?! Fry my brain until I was a vegetable? I was seriously on the verge of screaming out right now. I mean, I can't feel the shocks going into my brain since there are no nerves there, but I can feel them strike the back of my head, which only told me how strong the electricity was.
"Itaii..." I couldn't help but groan aloud, and my hands clenched into tight fists. Distantly I wondered if this is what it felt like to be sitting in the electric chair.
Unfortunately for me, the treatment didn't stop at the second switch. I was concentrating too hard on the pain to hear J call for the third switch, but I definitely felt it.
The pain increased ten-fold. I cried out hoarsely and my body tried to arch off the cold metal chair, only to be held back by the straps. Hm...I can see why there was even a need for the straps now.
My eyes were burning. Seriously, that's what it felt like. Doctor J had set my eyeballs on fire, and they were going to burn into a crisp because of him.
My entire body trembled, and I was on the verge of hyperventilating. This felt almost worse then my interrogation sessions during the War. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, something began building up behind my eyelids. It was a strange, fiery pressure that swelled with every burst of electricity.
Liquid leaked from the corner of my eyes, and I was afraid that it wasn't tears.
"S-s...stop it..." I ground out hoarsely. "Sstop...it hurts...gods..."
The pressure built up more and more, until I thought that if my eyeballs hadn't been burnt to a crisp, they were going to burst in my head.
I wasn't right, but it felt like that anyway.
The painful pressure in my eyes suddenly exploded, and then all I could see was white.
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