Author's note: Hi everyone! I've started a series of one shots featuring the characters off of South Park based off of Disney songs. Or basically whatever song is thrown my way. I like a challenge :) most of the time anyway. So the first song was selected by my dearest friend TheGuardianKnux. I was first going to start off with Damien/Pip, but then I thought, wait, what about Satan/Damien? So here is my brain child. Enjoy!

Also these ' are used for thinking

Quotation marks that are italicized are for singing

Warnings: Ohohohoho people there will be smut. Maybe. Haven't decided yet.

Disclaimer: Ahem *Grabs a podium*I do not own South Park. I also do not own the songs that I will reference for they belong to whoever wrote them. Like the first song I am going to use belongs to Disney.

Chapter Summary: Damien goes to his father for help on how to get Pip to fall in love with him.

Down in the depths of hell, many people imagine that the inhabitants suffer in eternal agony, begging to be given freedom, but that was a lie. Hell was, well, kind of like the surface in a way. Yes, people were still getting tortured, but the people there were so used to it by now that they would even greet their torturers.

Currently, the Prince of Darkness, Satan, was chilling out in his room. Sitting in his office chair with his laptop open, he looked immensely pleased as he watched some informative murder porn. He didn't let anyone else in hell know he did this, so this was his "special hour of the day".

Or at least, it was.

He was caught off guard when the door burst open, and he cursed out loud. Shutting his laptop screen down, he looked extremely pissed off. "WHO THE FUCK SAID YOU COULD COME INTO MY RO-oh, hello son."

Damien looked at his father with an unamused look. "Father, I need your help."

'Well this is a first,' the Prince of Darkness said to himself, but smiled at his son. "What can I help you with?"

Damien paused for a minute, looking as if he wasn't sure he wanted to ask his father for help. "How do you get someone to fall in love with you?"

Satan blinked. "What do you want me to help you do?"

Damien deflated, looking annoyed. "I am trying to get Pip into fall in love with me. How did you seduce all your other boy toys?"

Satan rolled his eyes, ignoring that comment about all his ex-boyfriends. Instead, he stood up and wrapped a red arm around his son and descended into his large and spacious closet. "Don't worry Damien, I will help you. And you will realize that it isn't very hard."

"Father, he's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed."

Satan shakes his head. "When he sees what you've transformed into, he'll have to say yes!" Satan pulls out a flamboyant pink shirt with sliver buttons. "Here try this on!"

Damien took the shirt with a disdainful look, but that was the least of his problems. How his father made the clothes in the room fly around and arrange themselves to make complete outfits was a complete mystery to him. It was also mysterious as to why he was singing about it.

"And I fortunately know a little magic,"

"It's a talent that I always have possessed,"

"And here lately please don't laugh; I use it on behalf,"

"Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed, pathetic,"

Damien poked his head out of the dressing room, eyes flaming in annoyance. "I AM NOT PATHETIC! OR LONELY! OR DEPRESSED!"

Satan waves his hand. "Sorry! I know you're not sweetie!"

The devil watched as his son went back into the dressing room, and then turned around to go look at some pants that would match the shirt.

"Poor unfortunate souls,"

"In pain, in need,"

"This one longing to be thinner,"

"That one wants to get the girl,"

"And do I help them? Yes indeed."

Damien pokes his head out again, eyebrow raised. "You are aware that Pip is a boy?"

"…I knew that."

The anti-Christ rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath. Satan handed him some pink leather pants with a grin. "Try these on!"

"What the fuck? Pink leather pants?"

"Hey! They cost me a lot of money!" he looks at them fondly. "And they look good on my ass."

Damien shivered, not liking the sound of that, but went back into the room to try on the pants. Satan picked up some silver stiletto heels, looking at them in approval. When Damien came out, he handed him the shoes. Damien almost retched at the sight of them, but put them on anyway. "Dad, I'm going to fall over in these!" the black haired teen stood up, wobbling and stumbling around in them. "How do bitches walk in these?"

"Practice, son."

"How is this going to help me get Pip? I can't wear these clothes every day!"

Satan only laughed. "You've got your looks, your pretty face. And don't forget the importance of BODY LANGUAGE!" he reminded his son in a sing-song way and handed him a white feather boa. "Now look how pretty you look!"

Damien stared at himself in the mirror before setting the boa on fire with his telekinesis powers. He ran back into the dressing room, pulling his regular clothes back on and setting the pink shirt and pants on fire as well. "That's it!" he snarled, face turning red with anger and embarrassment. "This is the last time I am asking you on dating advice!"

The teen ran out of the room in rage, leaving his father the burnt remains of his clothes. Satan looked at the leather pants sadly. "Did he have to burn them?" he complained distraughtly. "Those were my favorite pants!"

In the end, Damien was grounded for burning his father's flamboyant pink pants and as a punishment, forced to go shopping with Pip for a new pair.

Review please! I don't typically write humor (angst is what I usually do) And please be respectful when you do. This is my first South Park fic, so I would appreciate some comments. I DO NOT OWN the songs I will be using. Feel free to suggest a song and I will pick whatever couple I think goes with it. I don't know about pairing wise, so for now please don't suggest any. I have favorite pairings and I have a couple ideas already for them.