Asexual

Otherwise known as The Sexuality of Hibari Kyoya. Tsuna wonders if his Cloud guardian is asexual, since he shows no interest in anyone whatsoever. He's set out to find out what Hibari's sexuality is. And by finding out, he means some stalking. Uh oh. 1827 one-shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.

Warning: Shounen-ai.

Also includes some Hibari-stalking. Beware!

Day 0: Start of research idea

I wonder what Hibari-san's sexuality is… He never seems to be interested in anyone. Perhaps he's asexual…? Tsuna wondered in the middle of doing his Maths homework.

He shook his head. Hiiiee! Why am I wondering about this? I'm supposed to be doing my homework!

Tsuna facetabled.

"Stop daydreaming and banging your head against the table, Dame-Tsuna. By the way, you shouldn't think too much. The thinking look is stupid on you." Just as Tsuna raised his head from the banging, he received another kick from Reborn that sent his face straight into the table, again. With a loud 'thud', too.

"If you're so curious, why don't you go find out yourself? But first, finish your homework, or else…"

Why that little—!

"Ow!" Something hit Tsuna's head and his face hit the table, again.

"I heard that!"

Tsuna laments on his life.

Stupid sadistic Spartan tutor from hell.

Day 1: Research commences

Now that Reborn had planted this idea (of finding out what he wanted to know by himself) in his head, Tsuna commenced his stalkin— uh he meant research —on Hibari Kyoya.

He was absolutely not stalking one Hibari Kyoya.

It was all for the research, he swore. And him trying to understand his Cloud guardian better. As Reborn would put it, it was 'Family Bonding'.

That's all.

The first problem was, where was Hibari?

Where did he normally go anyway. The reception room? Roaming about the school? Rooftop?

Maybe he should go to the rooftop first.

Just before he opened the door that had access to the roof, he heard Hibird singing and knew that Hibari was out there.

"That's good, Hibird. Now the second verse is like this…"

What happened next really surprised Tsuna. The first thought that came to his mind was that Hibari could sing really well.

His voice was so… soothing…

So Hibari was the one who taught Hibird how to sing? Wow.

Suddenly Tsuna remembered about his uh… research.

Ah! Hibari might be… Hibirdsexual! It was so obvious that he cared a lot for Hibird. Wait… was there even such a thing called Hibirdsexual?

Tsuna doubted so. He suspected that Hibari was really asexual.

Maybe Hibari was just attracted to cute animals. Roll and Hibird, for example. Tsuna guessed he just has a soft spot for cute animals?

Cuteanimalsexual? Okay, this was getting nowhere and becoming extremely ridiculous.

Then again, Tsuna wondered if he was considered cute. Did Hibari like him?

HIEE! Why would I want to be cute? I'm not cute! And why on earth would I want Hibari to like me?

I think I've finally lost my mind. Oh no.

With that, Tsuna ran down the stairs, ending his research for the day.

Day 2: Busted

The next day, Tsuna recommenced his st— research. Unfortunately, Hibari was patrolling the corridors and Tsuna, being the clumsy person he was, tripped three times, bumped into people four times, and all in all making a ruckus.

Thus, he was obviously exposed, and leading to a very annoyed Hibari cornering him.

"Why are you stalking me, herbivore?

"H-Hibari-san! Uh…I- I'm not stalking you …I'm uh… " Trying to find out your sexuality. Obviously he couldn't say that, right?

"Yes?" Uh oh, Hibari looked really annoyed.

"Are you asexual?" Tsuna blurted out. Oh no! He wasn't supposed to say that out loud! But… Hibari looked like he was going to eat him at that moment and Tsuna's mind was not exactly working properly.

For five seconds, those painful five seconds, Hibari had no response whatsoever. Tsuna was mentally panicking and shrieking.

I'm going to be bitten to death, I'm going to be bitten to death, I'm going to be bitten to death…

Hibari just raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want me to bite you to death?"

The moment Hibari finished speaking Tsuna's survival instincts (probably not Hyper Intuition) told him to flee. And flee he did.

Hibari watched as that pathetic herbivore ran. He didn't bother to give chase.

If Tsuna looked back (in reality he was too busy running), however, he would see Hibari actually smirking.

Day 3: Research on hold (due to incompetency of researcher)

"No, please Reborn, I don't want to— I can't go to school. How am I supposed to face Hibari after that embarrassing question? Have mercy—"

"That's your problem, Dame-Tsuna. Go to school already." Reborn then promptly kicked Tsuna out of his bed.

"Reborn!"

"Tell me, Tsuna," Tsuna watched as Reborn fingered the gun-shaped Leon, "is Hibari scarier or the world's greatest hitman scarier?"

Tsuna paled. He was still on the floor and was inching further and further away from Reborn. Not to mention dragging his blanket along.

"Well?"

"HIEEE!" Tsuna just ran out of his room (and tripped over his blanket dozens of times).

Reborn smirked, and started to polish his gun casually.

School was surprisingly okay. At least, Hibari didn't bite him to death. Yet.

Thinking back to the morning, Tsuna thought that Hibari was actually as scary as Reborn. Okay, maybe Reborn was just a little scarier than Hibari. But that was not the point.

The point was that right now Tsuna could feel Hibari staring at him. Maybe he should have stayed at home.

Though Reborn with a gun was… traumatizing.

Urgh, why did he have so many dangerous people around him anyway?

When the bell rang, Tsuna ran back home as fast as he could, with Yamamoto and Gokudera-kun chasing after him. However, Tsuna could still feel Hibari's lingering stare on him.

Day 4: Research finally bears fruit (maybe the researcher wasn't so useless after all)

Tsuna was on the roof, trying to have some fresh air, when he felt an oppressive presence behind him.

How did he get here? I didn't even hear the door open!

Tsuna inwardly groaned.

"Herbivore. Why do you want to know my sexuality for?"

Tsuna blushed. "Was… Curious."

"I think I'm…"

Tsuna turned around to face Hibari, completely forgetting about his fear for Hibari earlier, and waited with bated breath. "Yes?"

He was excited that he could finally know his Cloud guardian's sexuality.

Hibari leant closer, their faces almost touching. He gave Tsuna a predatory smirk.

Tsuna blushed more furiously, and visibly gulped.

"I think I'm Tunasexual. "

Tsuna blinked. Wha—

The next thing he knew was a pair of lips crashing into his.

A/N: MUAHAHAHA! This is so random. Why am I writing so much humour these days? Lol. Yay 1827 :3 This is so weird… I shall go back to writing angst… Yes I have some awesome extremely angsty stories planned out, just you wait!

OMG did Hibari make a joke HAHA so OOC oops.

Reminds me of the five stages of being a Squalosexual. Haha I copied the (someone)sexual part. Anyway go read that story it's quite funny.

The rooftop part was from the extra CD.

Stay tune for Hibari's birthday fic on 5th May! I hope I can finish by then .-.

Comments, anyone?

Omake:

Then everything went black.

"I can't believe Dame-Tsuna just fainted." Reborn suddenly jumped out of his hiding place and said. "He obviously needs more training." There was an evil glint in his eyes, and Tsuna, even though he fainted, shuddered in his comatose state.

"Infant." Hibari acknowledged. He had caught Tsuna with ease, and was now carrying him bridal style.

"Just make sure he comes home before seven, Hibari, or Mama will get worried."

"Hn."