What's wrong now?
No, Tweek, my Mum doesn't hate you.
... Because she's pissed off that you came round at 3:30 am!
There. Are. No. Such. Things. As. Gnomes.
Even if there were, how the hell would I be able to stop them?
... That was the guinea pigs not the gnomes
Oh, shut up. It was a lapse of judgement.
No I cannot make lasers shoot out my eyes
If I could, you would be toast right now
Wait, Tweek, where are you going?
It was a joke!
Tweek!
Well I'm glad you've learned to listen.
Your lip hurts? I've got a nose bleed dickface!
...Did you seriously just call me a gnome
You wanna go again?
That's what I thought. Now drink your goddamn coffee.
Is it good?
Can I have a sip?
Don't be so selfish Tweek, just let me have a -
FUCK THAT HURT TWEEK!
What are you, a vampire? That hurt like a bitch!
Ok, I promise to not try and drink your coffee. Especially now I know how much a of a freak you are.
Oh, yeah, I knew that already.
Cut it out!
Admit defeat bitch, or I shall smother you with my pillow of darkness.
COMING MOM
Ugh, get back here!
What's that?
You hate me?
Oh. Well I love you too Tweekie.
Stop fucking punching me!
Let's come downstairs before my Mom kills us by the way
What the hell is wrong about that? Just come with me -
Oh for gods sake Tweek.
Stop fucking giggling!
You think I swear too much? You want a second opinion on that?
...
It means "fuck you", Tweek.
You thought it meant peace? That's two fingers you idiot!
Yes, you are stupid.
Don't worry, I still like you...
What, you expected me to say I hate you? You're my bo -
WE'RE COMING MOM
Tweek put down my Red Racer box set or there will be consequences.
I don't care if you want to snuggle. Put it the fuck down.
Mmm so how do you like that?
You don't think it'll fit? Of course it'll fit. Look, I'll show you.
It hurts? It's a fucking hoola hoop Tweek!
This does not mean we're engaged.
No, Tweek you'll be a very good husband I'm just saying...
No you're not ugly for Christ sake!
Ah, come here.
You're getting my shoulders wet. Wimp.
Did you just call me an asshole? Back to your crying ball of misery you go!
I didn't push you that hard.
Fine. I'm sorry. Let me help you back -
OW WHAT THE HELL TWEEK
Okay that's it.
...
You didn't like that?
I'm too clumsy? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I've had way more experience than you have!
Kenny doesn't count! He sleeps with everyone!
Good point.
Hey, hey, HEY! You are so not a better kisser than me!
You want me to prove it?
...
Now, how was that?
...
Tweek?
...
Tweek wake up Tweek!
...
Tweek, you can stop pretending now.
...
Dammit. Just me and my hand then.