A/N: This was inspired by an episode of Ask That Guy With The Glasses. A certain question, as well as the horrifying response, got me to think about just why Wile E. Coyote chases the Road Runner. Read and review, if you please. As always, have an excellent day!

MiscellaneousSoup, Inc. Presents:

"How It All Began"

The young coyote whimpered. He looked up, only to find nothing. Absolutely nothing. No parents. His mother and father had disappeared. Part of him thought that they had simply left to find some food while he was sleeping. A darker, more cynical side of him believed that they were dead.

Grumbling, he squirmed his way out of the den. "Mother? Father?" he seemed to yip. "I'm still here." Frantically, he ran across the vast, dry desert. After almost a whole mile, he collapsed, weak from hunger. He would never know that his parents decided that this particular desert was slowly running out of food. If they were to survive, a certain load must be dropped. A small, inexperienced coyote could not be of any use to them. If they were to survive, he must be gone. And so they left, taking the rest of the food with them.

The coyote shivered. The wind was blowing, harsh wind that would bring even the toughest travelers to their toes. He stumbled back to the den, buffeted by the breeze, but to no avail. Most of it was covered up. His paws fumbled, eventually managing to make a pitifully small resting space. The coyote fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, the coyote woke up to find a terrible pain in his stomach. He dug himself out of the ground and expectantly looked to his parents for food. Of course, he then realized that his parents were mysteriously gone. No parents, no food. He would have to hunt.

It scared the little coyote. His parents gave him some lessons on how to hunt, but he never quite got the hang of it. After some time, the poor coyote finally found a small kangaroo rat, digging up some grass seeds. It squeaked at the sight of him and frantically tried to escape. The coyote sliced an artery, causing blood to spurt out. It gave a feeble squeak and began to convulse. The coyote tried to take a bite out of the unfortunate dipodomys, but blood kept flowing from the sliced area. It sickened the coyote. After it finally died, he unceremoniously buried it under a clump of dirt and grabbed the seeds for his own. He would not have a clear conscience that night.

Days passed. The small patch of ground was nearly barren, its precious grass seeds nearly gone. The coyote would, once again, be starving. It was time to cut his losses and find a new spot in the desert. He could claim his territory. Perhaps his parents would be there. Firstly, though, he needed a new source of food. The seeds would not sustain him over the trek. As it was, his ribs were showing and he felt dizzy.

After hours of stalking and hunting, he finally caught a flash of something or somethings. A mass of dark objects, squirming and teeming. He attempted to bite one, but they swarmed, biting him over and over. He shuddered and blacked out. Some time later, he woke up, but things felt different. Parts of his body felt enlarged and he felt incredibly nauseous and itchy. He stumbled across the desert, hoping to find some source of comfort.

The coyote heard a deep, dark noise. It was hard to comprehend. He saw a strange, flat, black-and-yellow-colored part of the desert. Strange objects were traversing it, looking ominous. It was hypnotising. The coyote felt hunger prick his belly and, again, a wave of indescribable agony from those tiny beings. He decided to attack the large objects. Maybe he could kill it.

He pulled back slightly, then ran at the monster…

…

Everything was blurry. The coyote tried to move around, but he was bound by something. Straps were covering him and he was on some kind of smooth surface. Terrified, he began to whine.

Something creaked and a large animal came in. It had odd things hanging off of its body. Some were smooth and shiny while others looked soft and warm. Was it some form of wearable den?

The animal moved closer to him. The coyote's whimpers increased in volume and length. "It's okay, little guy. You got bumped by a car. We're going to run some tests on you."

The coyote was confused. What kind of sounds was the animal producing? Why could he understand it? What was a 'car'? Something pricked him. The animal removed a large, clear object (a removable claw?) and showed its teeth. "There you go. Just a little poke to put you under sedation. Sleep, little coyote. Sleep…" The coyote attempted to escape, but the objects held steady. With a shudder, he fell asleep.

…

Abruptly, the coyote woken up. No one was in the large area, but if he pricked his ears, he could hear the animal speaking somewhere near him.

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Potterson. The coyote pup had a minor case of Chagas disease, most likely from some cone-nosed bugs. He also received a bump from the car. It is indeed remarkable that nothing worse happened. You're right. I hope that you and your children have a good day. Goodbye."

The coyote heard the same creaking noise and saw a flat object open up, sending more light inside his den, of sorts. The animal clapped its paws. "Okay, buddy. Let's see how you're doing." He began to prod around, attaching various odd things to the coyote. He squirmed slightly, but did not fight. Perhaps the larger animal would eat him if he resisted. Besides, he felt slightly better.

Another animal came in, carrying something that smelled absolutely delicious. The coyote salivated. It placed a small container next to him after the other animal was done. Gratefully, he ate the food.

"When do you think the supplies will arrive? We can't keep him strapped down for too long."

The second animal pulled out something shiny and poked at it. "Acme should have it delivered by five pm."

Once again, the first animal showed their teeth. "Good! Hey, Steve, do you have any of those old dog toys? The pup might want something to play with."

The second animal walked to the door. "I'll check in my car. Just a second."

The coyote was intrigued. There was that word again...'car.' What does it mean? Was it that giant predator from...How long ago was it?

The second animal returned. "I found a toy bone and a tiny hedgehog. They've been there for a long time, so I'll get some more tonight. Have a good day, Jessica."

The first animal paused. "Wait, I'll go with you. This little guy looks pretty sleepy." The two animals left, and as they did so, the sun seemed to go out. One tiny thing glowed. It was the second animal's mysterious object, glowing and emitting a soft pinging noise. To the coyote, it sounded like a lullaby. Yawning, he fell asleep.

...Days Later…

The coyote was curled up in some kind of hard, shiny den, chewing on a rough object. It felt pleasant. He could feel the memories of his parents fading away. They hadn't been the best, anyway. Growling and nipping when he did something wrong, eating the lion's share of the prey. His new home appeared idyllic, but he wanted to know more. What was that shiny object that the veterinarian was using? It appeared to be able to summon whatever you wanted, conveniently in a box. (After another day, he had learned that the two animals were nurturing creatures known as 'veterinarians.' It suited them.)

Unfortunately for him, the two animals came in one day, looking quite worried. They were holding many shiny objects and things that he learned were called 'clipboards.' He could smell something off in the room. Perhaps, fear or sadness? Anxiety?

"Hi, little buddy." The animal who had first spoken to him walked up. "The test results revealed something not so good. Weird things are going on with your blood."

The other animal nodded. "You have distemper. If we release you back into the wild, then you may infect the other animals. We have to put you down."

The coyote panicked. He started to thrash around in the cage.

The other animal scratched his head. "He's probably sensing our emotions. Let's talk calmly. Hey, little guy. We're just going to give you a small sedative beforehand and-OW!"

The coyote bit the animal, his teeth going straight through the rubber glove. The two veterinarians left the room and began to loudly converse. The coyote wriggled and squirmed, finally managing to make the cage fall over and move the latch. He looked for an escape route, eyes latching on the shiny object. He jumped onto the desk and grabbed the object.

The animals returned. "Okay, we're going- Whoa!" Quick as a flash, the coyote passed them, barging through the rest of the building. The other veterinarians looked surprised. Apparently, the two veterinarians that he interacted with didn't bother to tell them about him. Finding an open latch, he ran outside and kept running. He didn't stop until an hour later, when he was thirteen miles away.

Looking around, the coyote saw a large, plain desert. It had rolling hills of sand, a scattering of caves, some 'roads', cliffs, and mysterious black lines running across the sky. This looked to be the perfect habitat. He just had to avoid the humans. Now, what was that shiny object?

Scrutinizing it up-close for the first time, he noticed that the etching scrawled on the top no longer confused him. They spelled out the word iPad. iPad...iPad...iPad! Internet-Pad! How did he know this? Pressing a button, he saw various messages from one of the veterinarians to someone else.

Jessica Lee, 10:30 am: Dude, I'm telling you, this thing understands me.

Nick Burton, 10:35: Naw, man. You're fooling me.

Jessica Lee, 10:38: No, I'm not. Look, here's the thing. I think that those bug bites did something to him.

Nick Burton, 10:45: ...Like what?

Jessica Lee, 10:52: I'm not sure. He's smarter, that's for sure. The blood tests seem to indicate a high level of durability. It's really weird. Some other cases have been reported, according to the news. Steve and I are going to sell him on the black market. Faking an illness should work. We can wrap him up and say that it's another animal, maybe some pet of Steve's. The other workers won't recognize that. I can't wait to see how much money we get! He's one wily little guy.

That was where the messages ended. The coyote's facial features appeared to change and become more human. Could he be changing, even now? He was smarter than them, that's for sure. Why, compared to other coyotes, he was a genius! He didn't need his parents! He didn't need Steve or Jessica! He was….He was….Wile E.! That's it! Wile E. Coyote!

Wile E. Coyote attempted to stand on his hind legs. After a few faltering steps, he finally made it. Growling, he tried to speak. "Eeeyyyy….ammmm...wilee….I am Wile E….cooyyyytee...I am Wile E. Coyote, super genius! I don't need anyone! I was lucky to survive and I am grateful for that. I, surprisingly, can talk, but I should keep that to myself except when necessary."

Pacing, he thought to himself. I could do so many new things with my new-found anthropomorphic capabilities. Build inventions...YES! I will become a scientist! I can use this iPad to get more devices from Acme!I

His stomach growled. Wile E. Coyote looked down, surprised. "But, first," he muttered. "I should get some lunch." He scanned the horizon until he saw a large bird streaking across the landscape, bringing up great clouds of dust. He licked his lips, grinning. "Perfect."

The End