Quite a lengthy one shot following John and Madison (from Because of You) about six weeks after the end of that story. I am not intending this to be the end of their story, by the way, unless people grow tired of them. I've opted for a one-shot here as it seemed to work best.

'Sleep well?' John blinked lazy eyes at her, his voice little more than a breathy whisper. It was clear from the dark shadows underneath his eyes that he hadn't slept anywhere near as well as she had, just like any other night. It was almost cruel for her to mention that she'd never slept so well as she did when she was pressed up against him.

She nodded. 'What time is it?'

'Early. I better be going soon.'

She twisted the cotton of his t-shirt more tightly in her hand, knowing he was right and yet wishing he didn't have to go. Part of her wondered if he enjoyed the secrecy of this. What he definitely couldn't enjoy was having to wake up so early every morning so that he was gone before Laura or Zach got up. Somewhere along the way, Madison had led him to believe that Laura would have a problem with his staying over now that Zach was home. Truthfully, she doubted her mom would mind too much, at least as long as John was staying on the sofa. The trouble was that Madison was loathe to leave him alone on the sofa and for the past month, ever since Zach's arrival home had left John bedless, she'd crept from the bed she shared with her mom in order to curl up beside him. Admitting that to Laura would be more difficult.

'Don't pout,' he said now.

'I'm not pouting.'

'You're pouting. Stop it.'

'Or what?' She challenged him, raising her eyebrows.

John met her gaze and tightened his hold around her ever so slightly. 'You really don't want to test me on that, Twinks.'

'Really?

'Really.' He nuzzled into her neck and made her giggle.

A clattering in the kitchen made them both jump and scramble up, Madison readjusting the tank top she was wearing as though she had something to hide.

'Zach!' she yelped as she saw her brother staring at them. 'This… this isn't what you think.' She wondered why she'd said that; she had no idea what he was thinking and she'd made herself sound more guilty than she was. 'I mean…'

A mischievous grin suddenly spread across Zach's face. It was the sort of smile Madison would have walked over hot coals for on his worst days in the hospital, yet now she felt a familiar stab of irritation with her little brother. 'Oh my God, you are going to be in so much trouble!'

'Zach!' she tried again, even as he was heading down the small corridor. 'Zach, don't!'

'Mom!'

Madison threw John a panicked look and was surprised to see him looking significantly worried about what seemed about to happen. The past couple of months had shown her that even John Bender was scared of some things, but she'd never thought her mom would be one of them.

Once again she tried to stop her brother. 'Zach, don't be an idiot!'

'What is going on?' Laura suddenly appeared, doing up her dressing gown and wincing at her children's arguing.

'Look who's come to stay!' Zach trilled excitedly.

Pushing past her son to the kitchen and filling the kettle with water, Laura's eyes flickered in Madison and John's direction. 'Nice to see you, John.'

'Hey Mrs Lawrence.' John gave her a hesitant wave, unable to meet her eye.

'It's Laura, how many times?' Laura didn't wait for a response. Her manner was astonishingly breezy and Madison was unable to keep up. She'd prepared all sorts of arguments to explain this betrayal of trust and for a moment, she wondered if she'd need them; maybe her mom was even cooler than any of them had suspected.

'Madison, could you come give me a hand in the bedroom a minute.'

It wasn't a request, and Madison got to her feet without hesitation. John gave her a tiny smile which was the only way he was able to offer her any support right now. She couldn't imagine waking up tomorrow without him here, but he would surely get the worst deal out of this. She had to try and fight for him.

Going on the offensive, she began talking as soon as the bedroom door had closed behind her. 'Mom, I know I should have told you, but John came over late last night and he'd had a row with his dad and I said he could stay and I should have said something but you were already in bed and it was only this one night so-'

Laura interrupted. 'First of all, Madison, don't lie to me. We both know it's not just one night. We both know that boy hasn't slept a night at home ever since Zach's transplant. So don't insult me.' Just as Madison was forming the word 'how', Laura answered it. 'I'm not stupid. I've noticed you slipping out of bed every night. Besides, I've got up for a drink a couple of nights. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?'

Madison hung her head and gave a grudging nod, realising her own naivety now. Laura was far from stupid and the trailer wasn't huge. That they'd kept it quiet from Zach so long was a miracle in itself.

Laura crossed her arms now. 'Why didn't you just ask if he could stay?'

Madison shrugged. 'I… I was afraid you'd say no.'

'Because I'm that sort of mom, right?' Laura sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. 'Oh Mads. What am I going to do with you?' Then, more briskly, she said, 'Three things, okay? That is, presuming you still want him to stay?' She didn't need to further prompt her daughter's nod. 'Number one: if he's staying over, you give me some warning. That poor boy does not need me looking like this first thing in the morning. Number two: you're careful, and you know exactly what I mean by that.'

'Mom! We're not…' Madison began, blood rushing to her face, before breaking off. It was true that they hadn't had sex as yet, but there'd been a few occasions when they'd come so close that it was surely only a matter of time. Strangely, it was always John who put the brakes on, rearranging her clothes and pulling away, leaving her senses reeling and wondering if he really wanted to be here. Then he'd hold her so tightly, like she was all that was tethering him to this world, and she knew it was taking all of his strength not to rush this thing. It was moments like that which made words pop into her mind, scary big words that she wasn't ready to say out loud just yet.

'Number three,' Laura continued. She paused and exhaled, seemingly aware of the impossibility of what she was about to say. 'He needs to let his parents know where he is.'

Madison's jaw dropped. 'But Mom…!'

'He's still their son, Madison. They need to know he's okay.'

'He's eighteen!'

'So are you and I'd want to know.'

'But they're not like you!'

'Not many parents are, luckily for you,' Laura remarked, raising her eyebrows. 'Those are my conditions, Madison, take them or leave them.'

Madison opened her mouth to argue. Then stopped and nodded slowly. She knew that tone of voice. Her mom was cool but she was still her mom; she still had boundaries. That John hadn't been flung out of the door without even being able to pull on a pair of jeans was probably more than they deserved.

'Do you need a ride to school?'

'No.'

'Don't sulk, Mads.'

'I'm not sulking!' She knew how she sounded and bit her lip. 'I'm not,' she repeated, in a much smaller voice. 'I'm going to go make breakfast.'

She stalked back out into the living area, her earlier good mood gone for what felt like forever. Even the sight of Zach and John, sat together and actually getting on, couldn't lift the weight off her shoulders.

They broke off as she came back in, and Zach's face lit up with mischief. 'So, what's the sentence?'

She gave him a withering look and ignored him, focusing instead upon John, who fixed her with a stare, waiting for her to tell him the worst. Her annoyance with her mother's rules only heightened as she looked at him: he looked as though all hope had trotted out the door several minutes ago and he was merely awaiting the final verdict.

She made a split second decision. 'She said you can stay.'

'What? That's it?' Zach erupted, but all she saw was the light suddenly come back into John's eyes. It was worth it all for that. She'd figure the rest out later.

The past couple of months had forced Madison to adjust to several changes. Having people to sit with at lunch was one thing, and it now only alarmed her slightly to find that she now thought of the table nearest the water fountain as 'their' table, the place where she'd always find Andrew, Allison and Brian. A more difficult adjustment had been adapting to having Zach back at home. It was surprising how much she'd grown used to his bedroom door being closed and only having to share a bathroom with her mom. His periods in hospital had become so prolonged over the last year that it took some days to get used to his being back. That was one adjustment she was happy to make though.

But adjusting to being part of the John Bender package was taking a bit longer. When it was just the two of them, it was easy; in fact, Madison was surprised at how easy it was. Since Claire had unceremoniously dumped her all those years ago, she hadn't let anyone get as close again. She'd never even imagined the idea that she'd want to. Yet in the course of only a few weeks, John had learned more about her than she thought even her mom knew. When she was with him, every muscle in her body relaxed.

In public, though, it was a slightly different story. Like this morning. It wasn't that she wasn't pleased to see him as he sauntered up the sidewalk towards her. Quite the opposite, in fact. She loved the way he pulled her into his body, hugging her so hard that to be honest, it was almost painful. Despite having last seen him only a couple of hours earlier, when he'd gone wherever it was he went to in the early hours of the morning before school, she breathed in his familiar scent with relief. The problem wasn't John per se.

The problem was other people's reactions to it. Even today, a sardonic wolf-whistle came from the bike racks and Madison found herself pulling out of John's hold, her face colouring as it did every time anybody stared or made a comment when they were together. Being invisible for six years made any attention difficult to cope with; the sort of attention John Bender commanded was something else.

For his part, John either hadn't noticed or didn't care, which amounted to much the same in his world. Now he slung his arm over her shoulders in a half-affectionate, half-possessive gesture, and propelled her towards the school doors. If Madison was ever asked to justify her presence in his life, she could at least claim that she was responsible for his improved attendance and punctuality record. Whether this was a good thing or not would be purely down to the recipient's interpretation.

'So, got any interesting classes today?' he asked eventually, as he leaned against the locker next to hers and watched her getting her books organised for the day ahead. He'd become such a permanent fixture in that spot that she couldn't help thinking the owner of the locker was being put at a significant disadvantage.

She raised her eyebrows pointedly at him. 'You're really interested?'

John went through a variety of facial expressions, trying to feign genuine engagement with a topic she knew held next-to-no interest for him. 'Well, no,' he said eventually. 'But I thought I'd give it a try.'

She smiled. 'Thanks for the attempt. How about you?' When he looked at her, a little perplexed, she laughed. 'Your day. Is it interesting?'

A raised eyebrow was his only response. He was, Madison knew, counting down the days till graduation, something he might actually be able to attend. Having finished his Saturday detentions in early May, he hadn't managed to rack up any more, and had even turned in a history paper on time. It would be too presumptuous to believe that she was the sole reason for this attitude readjustment, but she thought she might have something to do with it.

General movement towards classroom doors signalled that homeroom was about to start.

'Catch you at lunch?' Madison asked, as though it was a new notion when in reality it had become routine over the last few weeks.

'Yeah, I guess.' John nodded, his answer almost disappointingly nonchalant. It was how he always responded, as though committing to anything was something he tried his best to avoid. Madison suspected it might become old pretty soon if it wasn't for how he followed it up. With that strangely crooked smile and a firm kiss, he left her with a reminder of why she'd forgive him every time

It was strange how much more aware Madison had become of everything around her ever since that first detention. Where once she'd been able to block out school and everybody in it, retreating into her own private world, now she found every noise pulled her away from the book she held. At times, it frustrated her but surprisingly, those times were few and far between. Now she found she wanted to be distracted. It was something she could never have foreseen.

The book was still a useful prop though. Sitting waiting for the others during lunch period was awkward and she was still aware of the odd stare from those who just couldn't get used to Madison Lawrence's mere existence, let alone her attachment to the most unexpected combination of students they could have imagined. Having a book to read made her isolation at 'their' table seem less scary, even if she had no idea what the words were saying. One of the very few downsides to this whole set-up was how much her reading had suffered; she wondered if Mr Anderson had noticed how long it was taking her to read Emma, another Austen novel he'd thought she'd enjoy.

So now she waited, her eyes glued to the same page, and wondered where they could all be. John's punctuality was never good, but Brian and Allison gravitated here almost as though they had had to fight to stay away all morning. It was the first time Madison had ever been first.

It was certainly the first time she and Andrew had been there alone.

'That's not on the syllabus,' he remarked, a tiring joke which nevertheless made her smile, imbued as it was with the spirit of friendship. It was an attempt to kickstart something more than the awkward silence which settled between them as soon as he sat down at the table. Madison wasn't sure why, out of everybody, she found Andrew so difficult to talk to, but she suspected it had something to do with his letterman. It marked him out as having something more outside of the Breakfast Club, his team-mates still grudgingly accepting him even if he had chosen to date outside of their sphere of understanding. It was a reminder that this wasn't a forever-thing.

Trying to live in the here and now, Madison ventured to ask a question, lame and predictable as it was. 'Where's Allison?' Or Brian. Or anybody who would move the conversation along.

'She's on her way.' Andrew nodded, his hands thrust into his jacket pockets. It must be hot in those things in the summer, Madison mused, so engrossed in her thoughts that she missed his next question, and he prompted her with, 'Madison?'

'Huh?' She blinked several times before recovering her manners. 'Sorry, I mean, what did you say?'

'I asked if I could ask your advice.'

She frowned. 'On… what?' What could Andrew Clark possibly want to ask her advice for? She could think of almost nobody worse qualified than she was to give him any kind of advice on any subject. She began looking for an escape route as subtly as she could, all the time wondering where the hell everybody else was. Most especially, where the hell was John?

But now Andrew was looking around too, glancing over his shoulder in a much less surreptitious way. Then he turned back to her and leaned in. 'I'm going to ask Allison to prom.'

Madison's eyebrows shot up. Yep, definitely not territory she was familiar with. 'Okaaay…' she replied, a little doubtfully, unsure exactly why her input was needed. 'That's… nice?'

'But do you think Allison will think it's nice?' He pulled a face and Madison suddenly recognised that look: he was nervous. 'I mean, is it something she'd be into? I just sort of… bought the tickets, not really thinking…' He shrugged, and a world was packed into that one gesture. It reminded Madison how extraordinary this had all been for him too, how out of his depth he was. It made her feel she might have something to say to him after all.

'I think she'll really like it.'

'You do?' He still looked unsure, and Madison laughed.

'Yes. I think… I think all girls would like it. Really.' As she was speaking, she realised she was speaking the truth, one she hadn't even realised herself until then. Being invited to prom by a boy you liked – that was nice.

'So, you think I should definitely ask her?'

'Yes. Definitely.'

That movie-star smile spread across his face and Madison couldn't help but smile back, for the first time feeling as though they were friends in some way beyond sitting at the same lunch-table. Until a few weeks ago, she hadn't really known there was more to being friends than that anyway. Things turned on a dime.

'So then I was thinking, we could all go together, hire a limo and then there's the after-party and-'

Madison forget her manners again. 'What?'

'Prom,' Andrew reminded her. 'I figured Allison would like it if we all went together.'

'Oh. We're not… I mean, I'm not… at least, I don't… we haven't really…' She clamped her mouth shut for a count of two, closing her eyes and re-centring herself before saying, 'I don't know that I'm going, actually.'

Andrew's face paused in the open-mouthed expression John privately referred to as his 'thinking face' ('Looks painful, doesn't it?') Then he said, 'But... you must be. I mean, you just said-'

If there was something Madison still prided herself on being wonderful at, it was shutting down awkward conversations. Her usual weapon of choice was a simple turn and walk away, but changing the subject often worked just as well. 'You should definitely ask Allison though. Look, here she comes!' If she sounded a little hysterical, she put it down to having survived her first one-on-one conversation with Andrew.

And there they did all come, moments too late to be of any real use; Andrew continued to look at her in confusion even as he greeted his by-now official steady-date. Madison ducked her head down as she pulled out the two packets of sandwiches that her mom had taken to making ever since she'd first met John. She expected he'd have more of an issue with that if he wasn't being fed better than he had been in years.

'So, get any detentions?' John asked quietly, his mouth only a few inches away from her ear.

'Uh-uh.'

'Well, Twinkie.' He gave her an appraising look. 'It's almost like you're a reformed character.'

She smiled. Like Andrew's comment about her book, John seemed to think a quip about detentions was a killer-conversation starter in public. She doubted anybody would ever believe what he could really be like away from all the staring eyes and judging faces. Most people at their high school would believe in pigs flying before they'd believe that John Bender would walk across town to give somebody a burger to cure their first hangover, or would risk suspension for nothing more outlandish than driving a friend to see her brother in hospital. Not for the first time, she counted herself lucky she knew better. This was what she should concentrate on, not prom.

She had far more important things to think about.

'You're late.'

Madison rolled her eyes. 'Like, five minutes. You're hardly one to talk anyway. I was just talking to someone.'

'An exciting someone?' John raised his eyebrows.

'Mr Anderson.'

'Aw Twinks. You're such a let-down.' She could have taken offence if it wasn't for his broad smile and the way he pulled her in towards him now, his hands finding a natural home on her hips. Wedged between his legs, she fiddled with his shirt collar and tried not to purr underneath his touch.

Now, John dropped his teasing; there was no audience left at this time on a Friday afternoon for him to play up to. Madison couldn't help liking this John more. 'How was your day?'

'Since lunch? Fine. How about yours?'

He shrugged, as she'd known he would, high school being a special kind of purgatory for him. Whilst she hoped it would lead to something better, take her away from the trailer she'd grudgingly called home for the past six years, she still had no idea what John planned to do after graduation. It was probably something she should bring up at some point.

But right now, he raised the immediate issue. 'So, about your mom.'

'Yeah?' Madison dropped her eyes down to his collar again, hoping that by avoiding all eye-contact she'd somehow manage to blag her way through this.

'Is it really cool for me to stay?'

'Yeah, of course.'

'Madison.' His use of her actual name made her jerk her head up to see the sceptical look on his face. It was the sort of look she'd thought only Laura was capable of giving to her, one filled with disappointment. She'd never had anyone else who expected enough of her for her to disappoint them.

After a long pause, she awkwardly said, 'Yeah… she's cool with it…'

'But?'

'How do you know there's a but?'

'There's always a but.'

She supposed he was right. 'There's just a few rules. Oh, don't be like that!' she protested as he instantly grimaced.

'It's just me and rules. We're not what you'd call "friends".'

'They're… not so bad.'

'And that's why I'm only just hearing about them, right?' John sighed heavily. 'Go on, hit me.'

Madison's hands crept up to fiddle with his hair. 'Well, she wants to know when you're staying over. You know, so she doesn't go walking around naked or whatever. Stop it!' She gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder as his eyebrows raised mischievously at that thought. 'That's my mom!'

'It's sort of a compliment if you think about it.'

'No, it's not.' Madison gave him a look which silenced him, even as he continued to smirk. 'So that's real easy.'

'Okay. Rule one: check. Rule two?'

She busied herself with the collar of his shirt again. 'Oh, it was just… you know…'

'No, I don't. Twinkie, it's not like I do this every day. The last time I met a girl's parents…' He let the thought drift off, the name unspoken as it always was. Madison wasn't sure that was necessarily a good thing: Claire was fast becoming the elephant in every room. 'So?'

She took a deep breath and hoped extra oxygen would keep her heart busy enough to not pump all the blood up into her cheeks. 'She wants us to be careful.' When he didn't immediately respond, she added, 'You know, like…'

'Yeah.' John nodded, sparing her blushes. He paused briefly before saying, 'Rule two: check.' He tightened his hold on her momentarily and she was grateful for that extra bit of reassurance, almost daring to hope that he might give in and let her off the hook with the last rule. How she'd level it all with her mom she wasn't quite sure, but if she could just… 'Rule three?' She dropped her eyes to the floor again. 'Twinks?'

'She wants you to tell your parents where you are.' Instantly, his hands dropped from her waist line, as though all the energy had been drained out of him. 'John, don't,' she protested, picking his hands up and linking her fingers through his. 'It's… not so bad.'

'Yeah, right.'

'It's not!' When he threw her another filthy look, she asked the question she'd been wondering for a while. 'I mean, don't they ever ask where you've been?'

'That would involve them giving a shit about me.'

'I'm sure they do, deep down.'

The look John gave her then made her instantly regret her words, and she stepped out of his way as he stood up and strode past her, his hands slipping instantly into his jeans pockets, as though he were afraid she might make a grab for one of them. It was a side of him she'd not seen in months, not since that night when everything had changed for both of them. The John Bender she'd been lying next to every night would never have pushed past her like this and she wished she had kept quiet, lied to her mom. As if that would ever work, she thought privately, knowing Laura would see through every untruth she ever told.

Now she tried to call him back. 'John, all I meant was-'

'Just stop, Twinkie.' He turned back and held out a hand, and whilst he was still using his nickname for her, he sounded as though he could easily have used some other word, one much less appealing. 'You don't know shit about my parents.'

'Well whose fault is that?' she retorted. 'Look, maybe this is a good thing, maybe I could come with you when you see your parents and-'

'No fucking chance.' John set his jaw resolutely. 'Just… just forget it, yeah? I'll sort something out myself.'

Madison frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean I'm not telling my parents.' He shrugged. 'And if that's one of your mom's little rules…'

'John!' Madison protested as he launched a cheap shot at Laura. 'You like my mom!'

He ignored her. 'Then I guess I can't stay over anymore.'

The finality in his voice shocked her. 'And… you're okay with that?'

'Have I got a choice?' It wasn't a real answer, but that didn't seem to bother him. An anger and frustration Madison hadn't seen in John recently had overtaken him and she was almost pleased he was keeping his distance. The truth behind his question was too painful anyway; there was no other choice, and he knew it. 'Yeah. Thought not. I'll… see you later.' He turned and gave her a brief wave over his shoulder. Before she could really react, he was out of earshot.

For one moment, she considered calling after him, maybe even running. Each step he took seemed so final. Then she closed her mouth. When it came to watching a guy walk away and saying nothing, she'd learnt from the best.

'So… are you gonna eat that?'

Madison jerked herself back into the room and blinked. 'What?'

Zac gestured towards her plate. 'You eating it?'

She stared down at the food on her plate. She'd never really registered what it was and certainly couldn't make much sense of it now she'd cut it up and pushed it around for who knew how long. It was on the tip of her tongue to say yes and offer it across to her brother when her mom stepped in.

'Zac!'

'What? It's not like she's eating it! And anyway, surely it's a good thing that I'm hungry? You'd be worried if I wasn't.'

It was true and they all knew it; Zach's new found appetite was a good thing, despite the impact it was having on their finances. There was a pause before Laura said, 'There's some more on the stove if you're that hungry.'

He didn't need asking twice. He scrambled up from where they'd been eating Saturday night dinner on the sofa and headed into the kitchenette without another word.

It gave Laura just about enough time to give her eldest child a thinly-disguised look of concern and to ask, 'You okay, honey?'

Madison wasn't sure how to even begin answering that one. In all the ways that mattered, she was fine. Given everything they'd all been through in the past few years, she was better than fine, she was… good. To complain now would be petty. The fact she'd spent the past twenty-four hours feeling nauseous and anxious in a way she hadn't for several weeks was neither here nor there.

So she shrugged.

Zac rejoined them on the sofa, his plate piled high with what Madison now vaguely recognised as some form of pasta. The carnage on her plate only made her appetite recede even more and she hoped he'd still have room after his seconds; she hated wasting food.

Silence descended over them, with only Zac's chewing and the canned laughter of the awful comedy that was on the TV. They'd been watching a hell of a lot more bad TV since he'd returned home from hospital, and whilst Madison could usually deal with that, this evening each burst of laughter was making her muscles bunch ever tighter. The tension in her neck and back had descended with a vengeance and had only got worse as the day had worn on. A day filled with anxious glances at the shop door every time it opened and her mind playing tricks on her whenever she smelt smoke. It had been such a long day.

'So are you going out tonight, Mads?'

She didn't laugh at the question, even though a few months ago it would have been hilarious to even imagine her going out on a Saturday night. How it had become the norm was something she was still trying to get her head around. Once upon a time she'd have been able to occupy herself for hours reading any amount of books or completing homework to ever-increasing high standards. Now she wasn't quite sure what to do with herself.

She shrugged again.

'Where's John?' Zac spoke through a mouthful but it was all too clear what his question was, and it was like a punch to Madison's stomach. That he seemed completely oblivious to his faux pas only made it even worse. 'Is he coming over later? Should we save him some pasta?'

There was no way she could spend the evening here, walking the impossible tightrope between Zac's inability to say anything without putting his foot in it and her mother's anxious glances. Laura deserved better than this, she mused, momentarily angry with John. Things were supposed to be getting better and now…

She stood up, much to both Zac and Laura's surprise. When they both gave her startled and puzzled looks, she mumbled, 'I need to get ready.'

'So you are going out then?' Zac called after her as she bolted for her bedroom.

It was a question she was still asking herself as she channelled her irritation into tugging a brush through her hair and yanking another pair of jeans out of the closet. Five minutes ago, going out had seemed idiotic, impossible, something she could never countenance doing. Now it seemed to be the only way she'd be able to get through this evening. Besides, why did she need John around to make her leave the trailer? She was perfectly capable of going out without him. She could do this.

There was a knock at the bedroom door. 'Mads, can I come in?'

She hesitated before reluctantly opening the door to her brother, and then turned back to her preparations for the evening as he stepped into the room. He lingered behind her for a few seconds before blurting out: 'Sorry.'

'What for?'

'I don't know.' His simple honesty made her turn and look at him, and a rush of love for her little brother overtook her as he gave her a bemused shrug. 'Mom said I should come apologise.'

With a small smile, she replied, 'It's okay,' before continuing to rifle through a drawer, hoping she'd find a shirt which didn't need ironing. The goal for this evening was to get out of that door in as short a time as possible. She had no idea where she'd really go, maybe Diego's; he could always be relied upon to have a house full of people and distractions. If she happened to bump into John whilst she was there…

Anxious not to get her hopes up, she slammed the drawer shut with a bang.

'Is John okay?'

She turned to look at Zach. 'Why wouldn't he be?' It was startling how panicked she felt, like she'd run a marathon or something, her heart pounding uncomfortably.

'I don't know. I was just… asking.' Zach leaned back against the door and she squirmed underneath his gaze, the look he'd always given her which seemed to say he knew her even better than she knew herself. 'Have you two split up?'

'No!' The response was too loud and too quick and she winced as she bit her lip. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm her hammering heart. She wasn't even aware she was going to add, 'I don't know,' until she did. 'We… we had this… fight… and…' She shrugged a little helplessly, horrified to find her eyes swimming in tears and turning away abruptly, unable to allow her brother to see her like that. 'But… it's fine. He's… just sulking or something.' It sounded so unbelievably petty, she realised, as she settled on a shirt.

'So you're going out without him?'

'It is allowed!'

'Yeah, I know, I didn't mean anything by it.' Zach tripped over himself to soften the blow of his words, something he didn't usually bother with. It made Madison look at him, frowning suddenly, wondering if she'd missed something. Had she been so tied up with John that she'd missed something about her brother again? Those agonising days when she'd believed Zach was really sick, that they were about to lose him, came flooding back to her, and she shoved her own pain aside momentarily.

'What's wrong?'

His eyes widened and he almost laughed. 'Wrong? You're the one that's been dumped!'

'I've not been dumped!' Madison replied and something about her must have made Zach think again about pursuing that particular avenue as he wiped the smile off of his face.

'Okay, okay. I was joking.' There was barely a pause before he said, 'But I was wondering…'

Madison raised her eyebrows at him, his previous comments still biting into her.

'Can I come with you?' It wasn't quite what she'd expected and she was stunned into silence long enough for Zach to go into full on persuasive mode. 'I won't cramp your style or whatever – I might even improve your style. And I haven't been out in ages, and if I spend any more time in with Mom I'll go insane and plus, you can't really go wandering round by yourself so unless you want to explain about your break-up to her-'

'We haven't broken up!'

'Well, whatever, you know what I mean.' Zach stopped before throwing her a winning smile. 'Please?'

She thought about it. Zach, at one of Diego's parties. It was something she'd never considered before, and she didn't really know why. God knew that Zach was naturally the more sociable one, the sort of person who'd blend in effortlessly with the rag-tag bunch of people who drifted into the parties. Truth be told, he'd probably find it more enjoyable than she did. That didn't necessarily mean she wanted him there; in fact, it was almost a reason to leave him behind.

But then there were the other arguments. The one which said that Zach really hadn'tbeen out in ages, and that there was only so long someone could spend cooped up in a two bed trailer. The one which said how much he'd enjoy it, how much it would make him feel normal again for the first time in forever. And the one which said that, if she was going somewhere without John, Zach was a pretty good second choice.

She gave a deep sigh. 'Okay, alright, you can come.' Before Zach could celebrate too much, she said, 'But you're telling Mom.'

The look on his face was almost enough to make her crack a smile.

Of course, Zach fit in like he'd been going to Diego's his whole life and Madison had to swallow down her jealousy because it was just too pathetic to have brought her kid brother on a night out and then get an attack of envy. Zach was a likeable guy and the people here were easy-going enough to overlook his still convict-like haircut and painfully translucent skin. That was worthy of some forgiveness on Madison's part.

His appearance here was a distraction from the main event anyway: Madison out from underneath John's shadow. More than once she caught people doing a double take as if they'd only just realised she existed in her own right. That was a sobering thought, even for somebody already sober; she'd never really thought of herself as just an appendage to John.

Diego was one of the few people who broached the criminal's absence. In his typically casual manner, he sidled up to Madison in the kitchen under the pretence of getting a beer. 'No John?' Given how obvious the answer was, she simply shook her head. 'He okay?'

'Yeah. I… guess.' As she caught Diego's eye, she felt her cheeks flush red at having been caught out like this. All pretence gone, she asked, 'Have you seen him?' That he'd been holed up at Diego's overnight had been her one small comfort.

But now the host shook his head. 'No, not since last weekend.' With a brief pat of her shoulder which she couldn't quite decipher, he'd left the kitchen again, and her spirits swooped ever lower. She was regretting having borrowed her mom's truck now; at least beer would block out the thoughts even if they didn't solve anything.

Attaching herself to Zach seemed to be the solution to feeling quite so miserable, especially as he was almost giddy with the experience of being out. If she hadn't been watching him quite so closely, Madison would have thought that he'd backtracked on the promise Laura had extracted from him and been indulging in some of the treats Diego kept the fridge fully stocked with. He apparently didn't need any chemical help to be charming and witty and a honeypot to the girls who frequented Diego's house. Madison had to admit she was sort of pleased.

That didn't stop her steering the whole enterprise outside as soon as the first joint was lit, though. No matter how popular Zach was, he was still her little brother and he was still recovering from major surgery. Inhaling the particular brand of marijuana that Diego and his friends enjoyed wasn't going to do much for his health. Zach shot her an aggrieved look as she gave him silent directions outside, but didn't say anything; he was at least trying not to make her look more pathetic than she was.

Without the background music and general laughter of the house, it only became more obvious how much Zach had been accepted more than she had. How he'd developed these skills of conversation was beyond Madison, but there he was, chatting away with girls and guys alike about bands she'd never heard of and films she'd never seen. She'd always assumed that he'd led the sheltered life inside the hospital; now she wondered if it had been her all along. Until John, that was, and she wasn't sure what that said about her anyway.

There was only so long she could stand being outshone by her little brother though; about the time one of the girls began touching his arm more than was strictly necessary, Madison made good her escape. She was far more suited to the shadows and so she slipped around the side of the house, hoping she'd find somewhere she could simply be for a few minutes. She knew it was ironic; she'd come here this evening in order to hold her thoughts at bay yet now she wanted to be left alone with them.

It wasn't to be, though. As she headed back around to the front of the house, footsteps announced the arrival of another guest, whose identity was only revealed when he stepped into the porch light. Of course. Naturally.

She couldn't stop herself. 'John?'

He at least had the good grace to look not only startled but uncharacteristically sheepish as he sought her out in the dark. 'Twinks?'

Stepping into the light, she begrudgingly allowed herself to check him over, searching for evidence that something was really wrong. There wasn't, and whilst her initial reaction was overwhelming relief, there was something else too, an irritation that he'd made her worry so much for no reason.

'I… didn't think you'd be here tonight.' It sounded almost like a justification for his presence there.

'I brought Zach.' That sounded terribly like a justification as well, and Madison hated herself for it.

'Oh. Right.' John nodded slowly.

They both fell into silence. Madison had promised herself she would make John do all the work when (if? She hadn't even been aware she'd been thinking like that until now) he came back. He was the one who'd walked away, after all; it was up to him to impress her.

But now there he was, so closed away, as though the past few months simply hadn't happened. He seemed so able to shrug it all off that Madison felt a wave of nausea course through her and then found herself blurting out, 'Where have you been?'

'Around.'

'That's not an answer!' She startled herself as much as John with her response. Then, trying to sound more casual and less insane, she added, 'You could have let me know you were okay.'

'We're not married!' To his credit, he winced almost before he'd finished speaking and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. 'I mean… I just mean… I'm not used to anybody caring where I am. I'm… sorry.'

'So where have you been?'

'Here and there.' When Madison couldn't prevent herself from sighing, he added, 'Does it really matter? I'm here now.'

In his mind, it probably made sense. John was somebody who didn't much like discussing what was past and gone, and the last twenty-four hours were already consigned to the annals of history for him. They had no relevance to where he was now. Madison partly wished she could shrug off the past that easily. Instead, she found herself staring at John now, any anger she felt turning inwards and becoming a cold hard stone in her stomach. It would stay there for longer than she could have imagined, and others would join it. Fear had a way of doing that.

She forced a smile. 'I guess not. Let's get a drink.'

'Get in the truck.'

'But it's early!' Zach whined, sounding more like a five-year-old than a fifteen-year-old.

'You know what Mom said. Get in the truck.'

'When are you going to start living a little, Mads?'

'I tried it. It didn't work for me. Now get in the truck.'

With one last melodramatic groan, her brother turned and walked towards where she'd parked the truck on the kerbside. She'd find him moments later fast asleep, proof that sometimes moms really did know best.

So now she turned back to where John was leaning against the front wall of the house, his face thrown into shadows and his hands somehow always seeming empty without the cigarettes she'd associated with him ever since she'd first known him. He was smiling.

'What?'

His smile only broadened. 'I love it when you get all bossy like that.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Anyway. I better get going. You… need a ride?' She bit her lip even as she asked the question, before adding, 'I mean, you could come back with me, I'm sure…'

'Your mom wouldn't like it.'

'And parental approval bothers you?' She gave him a thin smile. Sliding her hands inside her pockets, she said, 'So, you want me to take you somewhere?'

'I'm staying here tonight.'

'Oh.'

'What?' That lop-sided smile again. He seemed so much more relaxed now than he had been yesterday, or even earlier this evening. Madison wasn't sure what had made the big difference: his self-imposed smoking ban extended to pot as well, whilst she'd seen him nurse one beer throughout the short time he'd been at the party. Something had made him calm down though.

'Nothing.' She shook her head and then, prompted by his eyebrow raise, she added, 'It's just Diego said he hadn't seen you for a while.'

'I didn't stay here last night.'

'Oh.' She bit her lip, desperately trying not to ask the logical follow up question, it having gone down so badly before.

'I stayed at Brian's.'

It was surprising but sort of logical. Brian's parents had gone out of town this weekend. It should have been the first place she'd thought of, but she couldn't help thinking of the two of them living together being more like a sit-com than real life. Feeling slightly braver, she said, with the smallest smile, 'And what was that like?'

'He likes to spoon,' John replied dead-pan, before giving her the genuine smile she was still bowled over by every time it appeared. 'It was okay.'

Relief that he hadn't been at home the night before made her bolder. 'What about tomorrow night?' When she saw a flash of the earlier irritation in his eyes, she continued before he could say anything, 'And please don't let's fight again.'

'When did we fight?' The surprise seemed genuine.

'Yesterday? Earlier this evening?'

'That wasn't fighting. We were… arguing, not fighting, it was-'

The patronising tone triggered some of her usual spirit. 'Well it felt like fighting to me!' Taking a deep breath, she added, 'So where are you staying tomorrow?'

She watched as his hand crept habitually into his jacket pocket, retrieving his lighter and giving him something to do as he avoided eye contact with her. He played with the flame for a few moments, scuffing his shoes along the floor. Her patience surprised her; it wasn't something she'd ever thought she was all that good at. Apparently, for John, she was.

Finally he said, 'You doing anything tomorrow?'

'What-?'

'Are you doing anything tomorrow?'

She shook her head.

'Can I come over?' He continued in a rush before she could question him further, 'You can come meet my parents.'

Taken aback at the sudden change in the conversation, Madison blinked twice. 'For… real?'

'Yeah. I mean, if you want.' John shrugged in a way which he clearly hoped conveyed he couldn't care less either way, but was unable to hide the guarded look in his eyes. When she didn't reply immediately, he hastily added, 'If you don't want to-'

'I do. Want to.' Madison found her voice finally. 'I'd… like it a lot.'

He snorted. 'You won't be saying that tomorrow.'

She ignored him. 'What time should I be ready? What should I wear?'

'It's not Sunday lunch with the Waltons.' He shrugged again, and Madison allowed him his sarky comment, knowing that getting him to agree to this was more than she could have hoped for twenty-four hours ago. 'Wear whatever. I'll come by about two?'

'Yeah. I'll… see you then?'

'Cool.'

She gave a small half-wave before turning and walking to the truck.

It was only when she actually saw John walking across the trailer park towards her that Madison allowed herself to believe he'd come at all. Letting out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, she stood up from the trailer steps and gave a spontaneous wave which she knew made her look dorky. Still, it didn't seem to register with John who didn't return the wave or even smile.

Before she could say anything, he asked, 'You ready?'

'Um, yeah. Do you… do you not want to come in first or…?'

'We should get going.'

'Sure.' She nodded. Then, unable to avoid it when he looked so wound up, she asked, 'You okay?'

'Fine. Come on.' He turned to go.

'Actually…' She tailed off as he turned to look at her again before finding some of her usual spark. 'I've asked Mom if I can borrow the truck, so…' With a shrug, she added, 'I wasn't sure how far it was.' That in itself felt so wrong to be admitting out loud; she'd been seeing John for the best part of two months and couldn't even state with any certainty exactly which part of town he came from. He'd found out so much about her without even trying; she wasn't sure how she'd missed this.

For a moment, it seemed as though he was going to throw her offer back in her face. Then he changed direction and, without another word, walked towards where the truck was parked.

The atmosphere was unpleasant to say the least as Madison pulled out of the trailer park. Mike gave her a wave as she went past him which she returned, but John didn't even acknowledge him. She bit her lip, trying to submerge her irritation, instead hitting upon another topic.

'What time did the party finish?'

It was as though John had even forgotten she was next to him. She glanced over as he looked at her with surprise, taking in the sullen set of his jaw and the way he was holding onto the seat so tightly that his knuckles were white.

'It sort of tailed off,' he replied after she'd repeated her question. 'I don't know.'

'You'd think Diego's neighbours would have a problem with it really,' Madison said, wondering how much of this was for her benefit, filling the silence of the cab. 'Does he ever get any complaints?'

'I don't know.'

'I bet he does. How does he even afford all of it?'

'I don't know.'

'It must cost so much money. Has he got a job?'

'I've said I don't fucking know, alright?' The explosion from the other side of the cab made her jump. It seemed to take him equally by surprise as he followed it up with an exasperated sigh and a thump of the dashboard before saying, 'So, just drop it, yeah?'

It took a few hundred metres more for Madison to realise that driving whilst her hands were shaking wasn't a good idea. She wasn't sure where she was going anyway, whether she still wanted to be doing this when John was making it so abundantly clear he didn't want her here anyway. She signalled to pull over and brought the truck to a stop, embarrassed by how much his words had upset her.

A long silence followed as the engine ticked over. Madison stared out of the window in front of her, before becoming uncomfortably aware that they'd stopped somewhere very familiar. A quick glance sideways showed her the garden of her old house, the last place she'd ever seen her dad, and beyond that, the manicured lawn and white turrets of Claire Standish's house. She wondered if it would always come back to her.

'I'm sorry.' The words were spat out and hastily followed up with, 'I am, Twinks, I know I'm being a dick, and I'm sorry.'

She deliberately didn't look at him, feeling that was somehow important. Her fingers still lightly resting on the steering wheel, she said in a small voice, 'I know.' It was at least true.

'I'm not used to this.'

'Well neither am I!' she retorted, that old fight-or-flight reaction kicking in, the one she'd not noticed quite so much since there'd been a spot for her in the cafeteria. Two nights without John lying beside her and she'd dissolved into somebody she didn't much like. Looked at like that, her mom had done amazingly well over the past six years.

Taking a deep breath, she offered up more than she really thought John deserved right at that moment. 'I don't have friends, John. I don't… meet people's parents and…' She shrugged a bit desperately, at a loss for words.

'I know.' The truck creaked as he shifted in his seat and for the first time since that horrible conversation on Friday, his took one of her hands in his own. Much as she wanted to pull away, she found herself simply grateful to have him looking at her like that again. 'I know, Twinks.'

'You don't have to do this on your own.'

'I know!' He sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face, as though he could somehow erase the past forty-eight hours by doing that. 'But if you're not used to this, think about me. People don't give a shit about me-'

'I give a shit about you!'

His face cracked into a quiet smile. 'Yeah. I know. It's weird.' Reaching out, he brushed away a stray tear she hadn't known she'd cried. 'I want you to keep on giving a shit about me.'

'It's not gonna change,' she whispered. 'Not because of… your parents or…'

He shrugged. 'Yeah, we'll see.'

Angry words threatened to spill out of her mouth and then she swallowed them back down. They'd serve no purpose here. The last thing she wanted to do was to fight with him anymore; she'd lived that for the past couple of days and it was hideous. It wasn't an option.

So she pushed her shoulders back and shook her hair back out of her face, before turning the key in the ignition. 'I might need some directions.'

It was just a house. Madison wasn't sure what she'd expected; deep down, no matter what labels she'd attached to them, John's parents were simply people, nothing more or less. People lived in houses and apartments and the odd trailer, not dungeons and fiery pits of hell. She hadn't even been aware she'd given this much thought. Yet now she was standing in front of it, and she felt… surprised. She hadn't expected it to look this nice. It was the sort of house she'd walked past so often in the past five years and found herself unconsciously wondering what sort of people lived behind it, imagining a dinner table and two parents and kids doing their homework. Yet another lesson in not judging books by their cover, she mused, as she looked over at where her criminal was looking at the house with a very different expression on his face. This was pretty much the last place on earth he wanted to be.

Trying to assuage any guilt she felt at getting him here, she forced herself to sound cheerful. 'You ready?'

'As I'll ever be.' He tore his eyes away from the house and met hers for the briefest instant. It was long enough for her to see more than reluctance in them.

Her resolve wavered in the face of his fear. 'We don't have to do this.'

There was a pause when she was certain he was going to take her get-out-of-jail-free card. Already she was rehearsing lines in her head for her mom, working out ways that they could lie without saying a word. It was hardly as though they were going to get a note from Mr and Mrs Bender assuring Mrs Lawrence that they were aware of where their son was and gave him their full permission to stay overnight. What Laura didn't now wouldn't hurt her. Madison tried to ignore how much she hated that idea.

Then she looked up and realised that John was halfway up the path leading to the front door, rummaging in his pocket for the door key. She hurried to catch him up.

'My dad's not in,' he said now as he turned the key in the lock painfully slowly. 'His car's gone.'

'Okay.' She knew it was stupid, but she was sort of pleased. Mr Bender almost certainly wouldn't have launched some kamikaze attack on John right in front of her, but she found she wasn't entirely sure that she wouldn't return the favour. Memories of those bruises on John's ribs which had only just faded and the cigar burn on his forearm, not to mention the slit eye and lip, were still too fresh for her to forget.

Still John hesitated. Not quite meeting her eye, he said, 'Look, Twinks, whatever my mom… says or… whatever, it doesn't… it doesn't really mean anything. Just…' He broke off and with a muttered, 'Fuck,' turned the key fully and opened the door.

Cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air as Madison stepped into the Bender house. It was no wonder that the smell clung to John's clothes almost two months after he'd quit. Again, apart from the smoke, the house didn't meet the expectations she'd unconsciously been forming. It was clean if not entirely tidy and larger than she'd have thought from the outside. It was with some self-loathing that she realised she was less anxious now she'd seen the inside of the house, as though a family who regularly vacuumed were better than one that didn't.

Then John reached backwards for her hand, and her anxiety spiked again.

Canned laughter met their ears from the living room. And then a voice.

'John?' It was nasal and unpleasant. Madison felt her teeth itch in response. When it was repeated, louder, she found herself reluctantly following John, feeling like this had all been one big mistake.

In the living room sat a woman, overly thin and wearing a baggy t-shirt which only emphasised that further. Her nondescript hair was piled up on top of her head, held in place by God only knew how much hairspray, whilst her face was liberally painted with more make-up than Madison even owned. As they entered the room, the woman turned to look at them, and the look she gave them would have frozen paint.

'Hey Mom.'

'And where do you think you've been?' she set off. 'Don't think we haven't noticed you sneaking in here at all hours stealing things. So where've you been hiding?'

Madison blinked several times, unable to really believe what she was hearing. For one moment she wondered what it was John had been stealing, because she hadn't seen much evidence of his having anything beyond the clothes on his back most of the time. Then she realised that those were precisely what Mrs Bender was referring to.

Not giving her son time to reply, Mrs Bender stabbed her cigarette towards Madison. 'And who's she?'

John's head was hanging, looking at the floor, a vein in his neck twitching. There was a long pause before Madison realised she was on her own with this one.

'Hi Mrs Bender. I'm Madison.' She tried to remember all the times she'd seen this sort of situation in films and on TV, before realising that none of them had quite replicated this situation. None of the parents had ever been quite this hostile. Forcing a smile, she remembered instead her mom's insistence upon manners at all times, and offered her hand to shake.

Mrs Bender blew a ring of smoke in reply. 'Ah. You're the latest one then.'

'She's my girlfriend,' John said, a little tightly.

Mrs Bender didn't reply, instead scrutinising Madison over the top of her cigarette, her nails like red talons. Madison tried not to mind too much but she found herself shifting uncomfortably under her glare, aware of her dark roots and scuffed sneakers. Being in the spotlight was never going to be somewhere she was happy; Mrs Bender just made it all the more difficult.

Finally she delivered her verdict.

'Have you knocked her up?'

'Mom!' John spoke before he'd really considered it and Madison felt his hand clamp uncomfortably tightly around hers whilst his lips pursed together.

'Well, why else would you be parading her around here? But I'm telling you now, if she is pregnant-'

'She's not!'

'- then don't expect your father and me to pick up the pieces.'

'As if I would anyway,' John retorted, anger flashing in his dark eyes. 'As if I'd let you anywhere a kid of mine!' Then, as if he knew he'd said too much, he gave Madison a firm tug towards the door. 'I've come to get some stuff. I'm staying at Madison's for a bit.'

Mrs Bender gave Madison another disparaging look as she left. 'Good luck to you, sweetheart. God knows you'll need it.'

Madison followed John upstairs in somewhat of a daze. Yet again John had shown her something outside her so-far seemingly limited experience. When she thought of all the things John had introduced her to, hangovers and socialising and having sort-of friends, this was by far the furthest away from what she knew. Suddenly she felt the need to call her mom and apologise for each and every minor infraction of the rules. How John had got this far with a mother like that was beyond her; she didn't even know what to say.

For John's part, it seemed he didn't either, or he didn't see any need to say anything. Madison watched incredulously as he pulled out shirts and jeans, thrusting them inside his school bag which he seemed to have appropriated for this purpose. It was as though he was merely packing for a few days away from home, the scene downstairs forgotten.

'Are you okay?' she asked eventually.

'Yeah.'

'Really?'

He gave a sigh and looked up at her from where he was cramming yet another pair of jeans into the bag. 'Can we just get out of here first, Twinks?' His eyes spoke more for him than any words could.

She nodded. 'Sure. Can I help?'

They'd been silent for the entire drive up here. Madison usually found silence comfortable, her own thoughts enough company for her. With John, she liked being with him when they weren't talking – sometimes especially if they weren't talking – but this was different. There was nothing to like about this. They'd driven around for what felt like hours since leaving his parents' house, John behind the wheel, which Madison was still trying to decide whether her mother would like or not. In the moment, it had seemed the perfect way to give him back some control, but she thought maybe they ought to neglect to tell Laura this small detail. If she'd hoped it would loosen his tongue, she'd hoped in vain. He'd gone back into default withholding mode. It was time to make him talk.

'Since when did you become romantic?'

John jerked his head at the sudden noise. 'Huh?'

She gestured around. 'Bringing me here. Our first date?'

'Twinks, you need to get higher standards if you consider that to be a date.'

'Maybe you need to raise them for me,' she said, smiling as coquettishly as she could and sliding across the truck's hood towards him. When she didn't get much of a response beyond a half-hearted smile, she said softly, 'Talk to me.'

He looked around wildly, as though searching for the words, before sighing, a sound she had come to hate. 'There's nothing to say.'

'There's plenty.' When no response came, she asked, 'Is your mom always like that?'

'Like what?'

'So…' She tailed off, suddenly unsure. This was his mom they were talking about, after all. There had to be some loyalty there, some feelings beyond-

'She's always a bitch, yeah.' He actually laughed at her horrified look. 'What were you expecting? I told you my parents sucked.'

'I knew your dad did,' Madison said, even as she ran the film backwards and saw John's rant in the library in March: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. 'I thought your mom might be…' Again, words failed her.

'Well she isn't, so boo-hoo.' Swinging his legs off the side of the truck, he said, 'Seriously, Twinks, I did what I had to do to please your mom. We don't need to go over it.'

'But maybe we should!' Madison scooted over the hood further, catching John's hand just as he turned away and pulling him back towards her. 'Look, it took me a while, okay, but I get it. I get why you didn't want to go there. If it were me, I wouldn't want to either.'

He gave her that twisted smile. 'I didn't think you enjoyed it much as it was.'

She shrugged and looked down at where their hands had intertwined perfectly naturally, as if the past few days had never happened. It was as though her body hadn't been there through the arguments and tension. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

'Anyway. We can tell your mom it's all a-okay now.'

Madison pulled a face. 'Please don't blame my mom.'

'I'm not. I like your mom. I mean, my experience of moms is pretty much mine, Claire's and yours so I'm not that good at judging, but, you know…' He shrugged playfully before giving another sigh, one less weighty than before. 'Come on, Twinks. Rule three: check.'

Despite herself, Madison found her lips spreading into first a smile and then a grin, risking a giggle when she heard John's throaty laugh. 'Don't laugh at me. This isn't funny. Not really.'

'You think I don't know that?' John raised his eyebrows, and Madison dropped her gaze, aware that if anybody knew this wasn't a comedy show, it was him. Lowering his voice, he said, 'Can't we just forget it for one night?'

Forgetting it didn't seem the right thing to do. For a long moment, Madison thought about saying no, forcing John into talking about all of this. This couldn't be healthy, to keep sweeping it all underneath the carpet, laughing it off, running away whenever anybody wanted to do more than shrug off the real issues. A sudden sadness swept over her as she looked at him, really looked, and saw the mess his parents had made. Here they were, weeks away from graduation, and his girlfriend had no idea what plans he'd made for the many days which would follow. It was that more than anything which made her wrap her arms and legs around him and press her lips to his with a kind of desperation; right now, it was all she could do to try and make anything better.

When she finally allowed him to come up for air, he gave her a lazy smile. 'And I haven't even asked you to prom yet.'

She smiled back, entirely naturally. She stored away the hurts and worries for another day, letting them fester somewhere deep down inside of her where nobody, least of all John, would be able to guess they lingered.