Riley and I were married for seven years and together for 13. We got together our senior year of high school and have been together ever since. I was an only child and always took care of my mother then later my father when I moved in with him my junior year of high school so I wasn't much on having the typical teenage fun. I was too busy paying bills, cleaning house, cooking all the meals and of course school work. My dream was law school at Georgetown and become a district attorney. I was quiet, reserved, very few friends and always with my nose in a book. I wasn't beautiful, just plain old Bella. Brown hair, brown eyes, so pale I was teased as being albino. Why Riley wanted me was a mystery.

He was the most popular guy in school, quarterback of the football team, pitcher on the baseball team, team captain of the basketball team and the biggest goof-off in school. If there was a party, you could bet he would be there…toasted. The life of the party, it was all about fun with Riley.

We both groaned when we were paired together in biology as partners. He was a slacker and I was a prude. Who would have ever imagined we would end up falling in love. I helped him study and tutored him so he could stay eligible for his sports (eligible without the help of cheating). He helped me loosen up. We didn't go to that many parties when we started dating but we spent a lot of time alone partying. I was with him the first time I got drunk, first time I got high…he was all my firsts. He was exciting, our relationship was exciting. My school work suffered and I went from the top pick for valedictorian to barely graduating…but I was having "fun". While having all this fun, I pissed away my chance for Georgetown and law school. Hell, we had partied so much, I wasn't able to afford junior college, straight to work for us because we made the decision to run to Las Vegas the weekend of graduation and get married. ENTER REAL WORLD. Talk about a wake-up call.

During our marriage Riley couldn't hold down a good job or any job for that matter, so it was all on me. I have always taken care of people, and it is something that I just do without thinking about it. Riley gave me someone to take care of but then he started taking me for granted. Soon it turned into all about him. I learned quickly that Valentine's day, wedding anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, just-because days…didn't ever enter his mind, well, I tell a lie, they entered his mind because he would tell me what he wanted, an entire list, but I was lucky to even get a card. I got used to it, came to expect it and not give it a second thought, that's what a good wife does, right?

I finally got a job in a law office as a receptionist and worked there for basically our entire marriage. It wasn't the best money but at least it was stable and I had benefits. It was hard because he spent money faster than I could make it. But I was so busy with working and taking care of the house, the yard and cars, I didn't see where it would be feasible for me to try to further my education no matter how much I wanted otherwise. I was so unhappy I turned into a nagging bitching wife. We fought all the time.

We also went through our share of other difficulties, the biggest being my inability to have any children after I miscarried several times. After we found that out, things went south and pretty much stayed there. Eventually everything about our life together got boring, REALLY boring. We weren't fighting much anymore; we weren't anything but two people who lived together. He started spending all his time on video games and hanging out with his friends and various lovers. I guess he figured since we couldn't have children, he would act like one. Looking back now I am glad that I never procreated with him.

Like I said, it had always been my dream to be an attorney and with the encouragement of my two best friends, Ang and Jess to finally do something for me that would make me happy I started back to school and became a paralegal. Hopefully, eventually, an attorney but being with Riley I never could see how that would become a reality for me. School kept me busy and focused enough that I didn't have time to wallow in Riley's immaturity. We had no sex life to speak of anymore, hell we didn't speak anymore. I made sure to stay away from home as much as possible and threw myself into work and my schooling. Riley didn't care more time away from his horrid wife kept him happy and so long as his laundry was done and food in the crockpot for when he got hungry he didn't give a shit.

I have to admit though, even if I wasn't in love with him anymore, it hurt like hell that he was finding sex elsewhere. Thinking that maybe one of his whores was going to give him the one thing I couldn't, a baby. Not that he needed one he couldn't take care of himself. I guess looking back it was a blessing in disguise. After our last miscarriage, it was so bad I ended up having a complete hysterectomy, but that is a long story I would rather not get into. It was after that I left Riley for good.

While I was in school I found another job at a smaller firm that ironically paid a lot more. I was able to start putting to use the information I was learning at school and doing the work of a paralegal before I was actually done with school. I loved my new job and my new attorney. I still had to answer the phone and do basic receptionist's duties, but I was drafting pleadings and discovery and helping with research. I loved it. It was the happiest I have been since before Riley and I started dating.

One of my best friends, Angela, knew how difficult my life and marriage had gotten and she is the one who introduced me to fan fiction stories on the internet and in my search for more stories I stumbled across an erotic fan fiction site...HELL YEAH! Thank you Ang! I have dabbled with writing for several years, something to get my dreams and desires out and live vicariously through my characters so I went ahead and signed up for a profile.

A few weeks later I received an email from that website. It was actually from another author who was looking for my opinion on a story idea he had. He let me know that he put in search criteria for the "type of woman" he wants to talk to and I came up as the number one choice. That is how I met Him, my Cowboy. I let him know I would be happy to help him however I could and that's how it all started. At first he told me the idea he had for a story and gave me several "what if" type questions with several options to choose from that would be closest to my thoughts/feelings/actions. However, simply choosing one of his options wasn't enough for him, he wanted to know why...and through those "whys" this man got to know the real me. The "me" that even my husband, closest friends and family has no idea about. And I got to know some about the man he was hiding from his girlfriend.

We were perfect for each other, our sexual appetites and desires mirrored each other exactly. Our emails got more and more frequent, emails turned to texts, texts into trading pictures and finally phone calls. We lived halfway across the country from each other, me in Arizona and he in Washington, DC, but we would say one day...one day we would meet, one day we would fulfill each other's fantasies; one day...One day we stopped talking. It was all over. My regular morning text from him right as I woke up, God how I love waking up to him, even better if I was physically waking up with him.

Morning Sunshine xo–Cowboy

Morning Handsome xx–Bella

What are your plans today? –Cowboy

Court :( the judge we are before is a complete dick, unless of course I have my shirt unbuttoned an extra button or have a skirt on. Such a douche! What about you? –Bella

Baby, I just wanted to let you know that I am going to be so busy today I am not going to be able to talk to you. But I will call in a day or two. Good luck with Judge Douche. –Cowboy

A day or two never came.

I did not realize then that I had actually fallen for him. It was under the pretext of just having fun, cybersex type stuff. He knew so much about me, not everything, I kept a lot of things to myself but I knew very little about him. His name is Jasper, he lives in Washington, DC, he wears a suit to work sometimes but mainly khakis and polo's, his family lives in Texas and he spends the holidays out there, he travels all over the world and he didn't want to talk about his relationship with his girlfriend because it didn't feel right for him to be talking about that, but he wanted to know all about the relationship with my husband and that yes, he realized what a double standard it was, but he did let me know what kind of woman he was looking for but knows he could never actually find. But he did find her, it was me.

How can I fall in love with a man when that is all I know about him? For months I was in a state of depression and everyone noticed. I couldn't tell anyone the reason, not even my best friends Angela and Jessica that I "met" and fallen in love with some man I have never actually, physically met and we kind of "broke-up". No, Isabella Biers was a good person! I am the one who everyone runs to when they have a problem or need something and I have no problem doing whatever it is they need. The good, responsible, level headed woman. Everyone else's happiness is what matters the most to me...and part of what Jasper like so much about me, I am a pleaser, in and out of bed. He told me several times how much he desired someone who wanted to put him first, his wants and his needs and he would focus on and take care of her and everything else. My marriage was all about me taking care of Riley and what Riley wanted and what Riley needed, but I didn't even come into the picture for him. He was like taking care of a kid that never grows up. He didn't do birthday gifts, Valentine's day gifts, and Christmas gifts were from the local superstore and cheap and completely without thought. But months in advance he would start giving me his "wish lists". It hurt at first to know that I gave everything I had to him but I didn't matter enough to him for any effort whatsoever. But I was a person who would never hurt anyone, a person who would never cheat on her husband.

One day, several months after we had stopped talking, I was sitting at work thinking about Jasper. I wonder if that is even his real name? Did he end up marrying his girlfriend, is that why he stopped talking to me? Did he ever think of me? We went from talking to each other every day from the time we woke up to the time we went to bed for months to absolutely nothing. Did I ever even matter to him? That's when I got the idea. I ran into the break room and stood in front of the picture window and took out my phone and snapped a picture of myself with the mountains behind me. Then I emailed it to Jasper, but addressed the note inside to Jane. That's a common enough name, right? You know "Jane" would be right next to "Jasper" in the contact list...possibly. OK, so I was desperate, don't judge.

The note I wrote said,' Hi Jane! Here is the view from my new office, amazing huh? I also want no NEED your opinion, I have been thinking about cutting my hair off, what do you think? Call me so we can go out for drinks soon! Love ya bitch, Bella xoxo' I took a deep breath and sent it. Then I sent another one that said. "SHIT! Jasper I am so sorry I didn't mean for that to go to you, I was in a hurry and scrolled down one too many on my contact list. I won't bother you again and will be sure to delete your email address so it won't happen again. ~Bella

IT WORKED! Not five minutes later my phone pinged with a new email from Jasper. "Beautiful! Jane says DON'T DO IT!"

BEAUTIFUL! Wait, me beautiful or the scenery beautiful? Then I receive another email responding to the one I apologized in.

'You better be sorry, don't ever fucking contact me again! Aldfkjf;laskjfalfkjf;flkoeinjvorewn :)'

I sent back a simple "haha". We exchanged a few more emails, a couple sounded like our old "selves" then they just stopped again.

That was 3 years ago.