AU of Twilight. No vampires or werewolves, which means NO imprint.
Warnings: rough language, non-explicit violence, drama, Bella bashing, NC-17 in next chapter.

This will be a two-parter. I'll post the conclusion in the next few days. Enjoy!

The readout counter feels heavy on my hip as I glance down at the bright numbers flashing at me. The oxygen concentration seems a bit off; must be the unusually cold winter we just had. I take a deep breath, my brows puzzling in thought as I enjoy the briny scent of this stretch of First Beach. The soft breeze coming from the ocean raises goosebumps on my neck as I crane my neck to look for the Scripps Oceanographer that's supervising the layout.

There's nothing, though, beyond the lonely sea stack half a mile offshore, the heavy clouds above lending it a ghostly sheen.

Joanne must've gone to the other end of the beach to check out the boxes of instruments, so I fish out the mobile that's tucked inside the waistband of my Speedos and give her a call.

"How are things at your end, Black?" she mutters.

"Dr. Hayes, the readings are off. The oxygen in the seawater is way below the readings from last year."

"You checked the instrument in the buoy?"

"I haven't yet."

"Then do so, Black. It might be a faulty connection. I have to confess I'm worried, though. The dead zone could be growing faster than the computer models predict."

"Will do so, Dr. Hayes."

I shimmy out of my sweatpants, sliding them down my legs and flipping them off my bare feet. Put down the readout counter, the mobile, and my baseball cap on the knapsack. Then I run towards the sea, my feet squelching on the rough sand until I reach the shoreline.

I pause for a sec, my heart clenching painfully when I glance at the rock shaped like a bear just to the left. This is the spot where Edward and I had lots of fun, back when it seemed he cared about me, when he said he would come out to his family and we would be able to make out in the open.

My toes clench around the sand, the texture just as rough as the day he fucked me after our picnic, muttering dirty words in my ear as he plowed me hard and fast until I came, his rough whispers mixed with sweet promises which he never fulfilled.

Poised on the edge between earth and sea, a shiver runs up and down my spine and I pretend it's the cold breeze kissing my chest, but it's really the painful memory of the day I received the invitation to Edward's wedding. I'm sure Bella sent it to me, the bitch that crawled up from Arizona to lay her claws on Edward - or rather the Cullen money.

I shake my head to get rid of these memories. This was three years ago when I was a kid in high school, easily susceptible to puppy notions of love. Life has taught me harsh lessons, though. So I glare at the horizon and concentrate on the job at hand as I wade into the sea, my skin welcoming the slick feeling of the waves crashing against my thighs, wetting my black Speedos, and then caressing my abs and torso as I return once more to my old friend, the ocean.

Gotta admit my clothes are too laid back for a guy that's just finished community college and is angling for a scholarship to the Marine Biology program at the University of Washington, but they're very practical since I'm the go-to guy who fixes instruments in case of failure, which often involves swimming around to check they're functioning correctly.

I swim towards the buoy which is anchored half a mile leeward of the sea stack. The bracing cold water around me reminds me of the tongue-lashing Dad gave me three years ago when he caught me moping at a picture of Edward and I on the beach.

"You're just gonna sit there and let that boy walk all over your heart?" he'd said with a frown. "The great-grandson of Ephraim Black?"

"What can I do, Dad?" I snarled. "The guy won't ever come out to his father, the mighty Dr. Culllen! He'd rather be hitched to that girl and pretend he's daddy's golden boy."

Dad rolled his wheelchair towards the table next to the ratty couch and picked up the wedding invitation, glaring at it before he swiftly ripped it apart.

"Hey!" I protested weakly.

"Don't tell me you're gonna go to the pale faces' powwow and cower on the corner while Edward marries that washed-out excuse of a tramp?"

I worried my bottom lip at that. Billy knew me well; I'd hoped to get a last glance at Edward.

Dad studied my face, and then he crossed his hands over his lap. "Quil and Embry are worried about you, you know. They said you won't go to the cliffs with them."

"Not in the mood, Dad." I sighed. "The guys got too caught up in the dare I proposed: Diving down the cliff whenever one of us passes an exam or scores with a girl."

"Or a guy," Dad said sharply.

I blushed at that, recalling my friends' ribbing the day Edward asked me out. Of course we celebrated with a dive. One day, the older guys at the Rez saw us clowning around atop the cliffs and slowly joined us, first Jared and Paul, and eventually Sam Uley. It was male bonding at its best, feeling the rush of air against my face as the sea rose up to greet me in its rough embrace, knowing my friends above would jump down at once if something wrong happened.

"I don't understand teenagers," Billy mumbled with a scowl. "What's the attraction on diving down that spot?"

"It's your fault," I said, the corner of my lips curling up in a crooked grin. "Remember all the times at the bonfire? The way you go and on about traditions, our forefathers that built those huge canoes and sailed forth to catch big fishes?"

"I didn't think you were paying attention those nights, son." Dad shook his head ruefully. "Anyway, what does it have to do with cliff diving?"

I tilted up my chin to gaze at the ceiling, slouching down on the coach. "The way you talk about the sea… it makes me be near it, you know. Guess that's why I push for the guys to join me in the cliff. Dive and then swim in the sea, since I can't sail in a ship. Last year I even wanted to carve a canoe out of that huge oak near the Quillayute. Quil and Embry thought it was too much hard work and didn't want to help." I shrugged. "And I can't do it on my own."

Dad narrowed his eyes at me, his lips pursed in a thin line. He finally said in a soft voice, "You don't need a canoe to sail the seas, Jacob. I know I'm an old man fixed on his traditions, but there's a whole new world out there."

I cocked my eyebrows at him, not knowing where he was going with the conversation.

"You're not doing badly at school," he said. "Though you spend too much time horsing around with your friends, even going to the length of getting that tattoo." He paused to eye the tribal tattoo on my right shoulder which one of the Elders drew for us. It was our god Q'wati in wolf form.

"Embry came up with the idea." I shrugged. "The guy doesn't talk much, but when he does, you'd better listen to him. It was the same day we christened ourselves the Pack in honor of the wolf legend."

Dad smiled at that. "Harry's a great storyteller, huh?"

I nodded slowly. Seth and Leah's father really sold us on the legend, and of course Seth wanted in on the Pack. Being my honorary kid brother, it fell on me to convince the others to let him in. Sam resisted the idea with all his might, pointing out Seth was too young to go cliff diving with us, until his girlfriend Leah forced him to. Gotta admit that girl was tough as nails and had Sam wrapped around her little finger.

"Be that as it may, I want you to look to the future," Dad said slowly. "Use the resources of the real world to your benefit, get an education. What are you going to do after you finish high school?"

"I'm not sure, Dad." I refrained from telling him that with Edward walking out on me, I'd been more worried about him than my future.

"Well, go to community college then. Harry has a friend in Seattle that swears by that school."

"What about the money?" I said.

"I have some savings." He lifted up his hand. "Not that much, mind you, and you'll have to work part time, but I know you're able to - the way you take care of the house and me."

"Dad," I said with a big lump in my throat. "What about you? Who's gonna take care of you?"

Billy waved his arm in dismissal. "I'll call Rachel and Sarah. It's high time those selfish girls pulled their weight around on this house, the way they just up and left without a thought and left their kid brother alone to take care of a sick man! They have a long way to go before they earn my forgiveness; high time they started doing so."

"But their lives…"

"They aren't doing much with themselves; your sisters are as clueless as Bella, that wimpy girl that took Edward from you."

oOoOo

The strong eddy that pulls at my legs brings me out of my reverie. I'm very close to the spot and the currents around this place are dangerous. Swim the last yards to the yellow buoy bobbing up and down straight ahead. I paddle with my hands until I reach it and splay my fingers on the corroded plastic, my thumb and forefinger loosening the butterfly screws that hold the panel secure.

Reviewing the mental list in my head, I check out that the cables are connected, the LED lights of the small motherboard function correctly, and that the microchip is wedged tight.

After checking the wires that lead downward from the buoy, I notice nothing wrong, and then I tighten carefully the screws, pushing gently on the flares to make sure the screws seat correctly on their threads.

Then I twist my shoulders and tuck my legs under my abdomen before heaving up my torso and diving shallowly face down, lifting my head to take a breath now and then as I kick my legs dolphin-style, my arms moving in a forward circle as I swim away from the buoy. Love the drag of the sea on my torso, the swaying motion of my body as the waves lift me up and down, the white spume that peppers my face when I take shallow breaths on the way to the shore.

The sea helps me heal and renews my energy.

I reach the shallow part of the shore and stand up, the water reaching to my chest. Shake my head with a mighty heave to get rid of the salty water and rub my eyes. Then I start walking on the sand, taking care to avoid the sharp pebbles that pepper this stretch of First Beach.

Glancing up, I notice a tall guy next to Joanne. His shadow covers her completely and his gangly silhouette seems vaguely familiar. A stray sunbeam falling through the heavy cloud cover strikes sparks off copper hair, though. I hitch my breath, my heart beating madly like wild orcas against my ribs.

Edward's here! A big wave pushes me forward and I almost stumble, my feet catching on a rock at the last second.

What the hell is he doing here? Recalling the pain he put me through, I square my shoulders and stride out of the water, my feet making squishy sounds on the sand.

I stroll towards them and turn to Dr. Hayes, ignoring Edward when he lifts his arm to shake my hand.

"Checked the electronics and cabling, and it's all working fine, Dr. Hayes."

"Thank you, Jacob," she mumbles, pushing up her glasses with her thumb as she leans down to swipe her finger on her iPad, a stray strand of her white peppered hair flopping down from her bun. "I'll check out with my colleagues at the University, but I'm afraid this is bad news. The dead zone seems to be spreading."

Ignoring the lanky figure of Edward standing a few feet away from me with his hands stuck in the pockets of his slacks, I try to keep my attention firmly on her.

Dr. Hayes glances at Edward over the rim of her glasses and she must notice something in his expression, for she waves her iPad at him.

"The dead zone, my dear, is a part of the ocean that has very low concentration of oxygen. I'm sure you realize the implications. Low oxygen means fewer algae, less food for fish. In short, it creates a zone devoid of life," she says with the calm voice she affects for her lectures at the university.

"Why is it spreading, though?" Edward says with that smooth voice of his. I can't help but shudder at the memories his sweet tone evokes, cursing my treacherous body at the same time. Edward was always too smart for his own good.

"Excess pollution ends up in the sea and causes overgrowth in algae which then dies." Dr. Hayes says sharply. "This ties up oxygen which is then unavailable for microscopic life in the deep. Less plankton means less food for fishes and mollusks."

"I see," Edward says noncommittally. I glance at him, and at that moment the ambient light causes his eyes to seem slightly blue; a similar shade to that of the sea I love so much. I curse my imagination while Dr. Hayes keeps talking, and thus miss her initial words.

"… the amount of dead zones in the oceans around the world keeps growing, though." She leans down to glance at her iPad, and her thumb swipes diagonally across the screen, calling up a chart. "Computer modeling suggests this may have to do with Climate Change, so we've established a net around the world with colleagues from universities and research institutes abroad to watch this development and refine our models."

Edward just nods, shivering minutely when his gaze strays down to my crotch.

Dr. Hayes turns to me and waves at the sea. "Thanks for your work, Black; that'll be all for today. We need to check the readings at Second Beach tomorrow to be able to upload the results to the server at the university so they can be cross-checked."

She turns to nod at Edward. "You should be proud of your friend, young man. He's a small part of the whole monitoring network, but his skills are surely appreciated."

"Thank you, Dr. Hayes," I mumble, shuffling my feet on the sand.

She walks towards the path that will take her out of the beach and into the road, pausing for a moment to call out over her shoulder, "By the way, Jacob, I have it from a good source that the Scholarship Committee will accept your application."

I beam at Joanne, very tempted to walk up to her and give her a bear hug. "That's great news, Doctor. Thank you!"

"You had better keep quiet about it until you receive the official notification, Black." She gives me a mock glare. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

The sounds of her footsteps fade among the low rumble of the surf as I balance my body on the balls of my feet.

The awkward moment holds until I glare at Edward. "How is your lovely wife, by the way?"

He shudders, his eyes widening. "My wife? What do you mean?"

"Bella, the awkward girl that captured your oh-so-straight heart," I snarl at him. I ball my fists, and when the knuckles brush against my bare thighs, I realize I'm only wearing my Speedos.

"Didn't you know?" Edward says softly as I walk past him to dress. I shake my head violently while I put on my sweatpants, harshly pulling them up and then leaning down to grab my baseball hat which I plop down on my wet hair.

"Guess you're a proud father now, aren't you?" I mumble while I step into my trainers and bend down to lace them up, shoving then the readout counter and the mobile into my knapsack.

"What do you mean? Didn't anyone tell you?" Edward says in a small voice.

"Tell me what?" I spit my words at him, holding the straps of the knapsack as I walk to get out of the beach, shoving him hard with my shoulder as I make my way to my car. "Frankly, I don't care. Have a good, straight life, loser!"

Edward whimpers brokenly; the sound which should feel me with elation only makes me sad. Not as sad as when I got the fucking wedding invitation though. The memory makes my blood boil as I thrust my chin at him and narrow my eyes.

"Why should I listen to your sweet words which mean nothing; so you can trap me again?" I growl low on my throat. "Guess Bella doesn't give you what you want, huh? She has no cock you can suck, unless the empty-headed bitch wisened up enough to buy a strap-on."

"Jacob, wait, please!" The sound of his broken voice makes me stop.

I'm so angry at him and myself too! I imagined this scene so many times in the dark months after he left me. Pictured myself gloating at him, making him suffer for all the pain he put me through when he cut me off without any explanation to court Bella. But his broken voice pulls at my heart like it has always done, and it hurts so much to see him broken!

Revenge sucks, when the thought of breaking him to pieces makes me ill.

"I didn't marry Bella," he says in a wavering voice. "Matter of fact, after you disappeared, I called off the wedding."

My heart throbs painfully at that, and I hunch down my shoulders, my knuckles white around the strap of the knapsack. "For your information, I didn't disappear. I moved to Seattle to start community college. You could've asked Dad or texted me."

"I tried, Jacob, I tried so very hard." His soft whisper is almost drowned by the surf. "I called your dad but he hung up on me. I visited him but he closed the door on my face, several times."

"So what?" I say in a low voice as my grip slackens around the leather of the straps, realizing Dad never told me that Edward was looking for me.

"Alice deleted your phone number from all our phones." Edward sighs. "I confronted her, but she was intent on planning my perfect wedding with Bella and didn't listen to me. She didn't repent, even after Rosalie slapped her."

"Rose did that?" I whisper, a fond smile tugging up the corner of my lips. Blondie and I traded sharp barbs like mad, but most of the time it turned into a contest for the wittiest retort, and she also couldn't stand the sight of Bella.

"One day, I saw your friends going to that cliff you're so fond of and I followed their car to ask them if they knew where you were, but then…" he trails off, and something in Edward's voice makes me turn sharply and step towards him, the strap sliding through my fingers so the knapsack falls down to the ground with a plopping sound.

"What happened?" I say hoarsely, but Edward doesn't answer. Instead he lowers his chin, his cheeks blushing a bright red.

"Forget it," he whispers brokenly. "They were only defending you."

I narrow my eyes when I recall Quil texting me out of the blue one Friday morning, insisting I should come over for a special dive. The guys were all secretive and gave each other high-fives, but when I pushed them for answers they just shrugged. They never told me Edward was looking for me. If I had just been able to read their minds, I would have found out the truth – Paul's smirk should've tipped me off.

I reach out my hand to cup Edward's chin and gently tilt it up so he faces me. "They beat you, right?"

He sighs deeply, avoiding my gaze while he nods.

I let go of him to stamp my foot on the sand. "Those fuckers had no right! Bet Sam was the ringleader, huh? Paul right behind him! Can't stand Sam always thinking he's the leader of the Pack when he's nothing but a fucking flabby loser!"

"Forget it, Jake," Edward says. "It was long ago; but after that encounter I lost the will to search for you. Sam said you were better off without me and I believed him."

"Sorry, man, I'm so sorry." I lower my chin, whispering sadly. "Sam and the rest are gonna hear from me. They had no right to decide for me. Worst of all, they had no right to gang up on you and beat you!"

I close my eyes, finally admitting the truth. I can't bear the thought of Edward being hurt, because in all my dark fantasies I made him cry and beg, but I never ever beat him.

I squat over the sand and lean forward to grab my knapsack, opening the zipper to rummage inside until my fingers close around soft cloth. I stand up and throw the big towel over the ground, cocking my chin at it. "Sit down, Edward. We have to talk."

He nods and lowers his hips, pulling up his legs close to his chest as he wraps his arms around his shins. The look of resignation on his face tugs painfully at my heart as I sit down on the other edge of the towel.

"I'm sorry you had to pass through all that, but it changes nothing, Edward. You hurt me so much!"

Edward nods jerkily, his striking profile contrasting sharply against the cloudy horizon.

"I was so mad at you, man!" I sigh. "I'm still mad at you, and sad to see you so broken. I'm angry at the pack because they hurt you – can't bear the thought of you being hurt." I pull up my thighs against my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs to keep myself from reaching out to Edward. I have to make him understand first. "I'm glad you're here, but I still hurt inside. My feelings are a mess right now, man. I've never met anyone else who could make my emotions ebb and flow so strongly, pulling these tides out of me so easily like you do, and I hate it." I rest my chin on my knees and close my eyes, breathing in the scent of the sea and Edward as I say in a low whisper, "And I love it too."

"Jake, I…"

I lift up my hand to shut him up. "Lemme have my say. D'ya know what I liked the best? Those mornings we spent in the meadow, my head on your warm chest, listening to your heartbeat while you quoted poetry to me from those books of yours."

Edward chuckles softly, the sound lifting up my spirits. "You hate poetry, Jake."

"Right, but I love the sound of your voice."

"You kept inserting your snarky comments."

"Hey, some of those lines were pretty silly."

Edward nods, tilting up his chin to gaze at the sky. "I loved the night we spent here to watch the lunar eclipse. You lit up that bonfire and I listened while you recounted the legends of your people as I cuddled next to you."

"Yep, it was cold that night."

"And you were so warm," Edward says wistfully. "God, I've missed your warmth!"

My fingers twitch with the urge to reach across the space that separates us to touch his face. I grip the edge of the blanket instead and doggedly go on. "Those moments were magical, but I wanted more. Wanted to go to the movies and parade you around, make that geek Mike Newton choke on his Coke when he saw us together. Wanted everyone to see how handsome you are. And you never gave me that."

"Jake, let me tell you…"

I shake my head and my words come out on a rush. "Do you understand why we can't ever be just friends? I'd want to touch you, brush my fingers through your tousled hair and hold your chin to whisper loving words into your ear. I can't bear to be near you without that, knowing we're worlds apart because people watch us and you don't want them to know we're together." I tuck my chin between my knees and say in a rough whisper, "You know what hurt the most about that wedding invitation? Knowing you didn't love Bella, that you were just going through the motions and what you felt for me wasn't strong enough to pull you out of the prison you've forged around your heart."

Edward takes a deep breath and turns towards me, his eyes shining in the slant of the late evening. "I came out to my family, you know."

tbc