Title: How to Liven Up A Meeting

Author: Evil_Little_Dog

Rating: Teen/R

Disclaimer: This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.

Summary: Tony's bored, but he's figured out a way around. Pepper's so not amused.

Notes: from Comment_Fic.

Pepper glances over at Tony. He's got his, 'pretending to concentrate' face on. The meeting has to be boring him silly. It's boring her silly, and she can't claim to be a super-duper genius, just a very intelligent person who hates bullshit.

While the speaker blah blah blahs up at the head of the table, Tony glances from him to his cell phone, nodding once in a while. Everyone was encouraged to take notes – obviously – and comment in real time on the notes using iPads or phones or whatever, all connected to the podium's interface or something. Pepper's not all up in the technical jargon, just that Tony set the whole thing up, which is why when his eyes light up, she realizes he's not even paying attention to the speaker.

No big surprise.

So she texts him. What are you doing?

Nothing. Listening. Not listening. Did you realize how oh my god boring this man actually is? Can I throw enough money at him to buy his product and shut him up now?

No. Are you actually playing a game?

The corner of his mouth twitches. That obvious?

To me. Pepper almost scolds him. Almost. What game?

I found this great Japanese site. They've uploaded the entire Avengers team and I can play Cap. He's doing something really stupid at the moment and Natasha's gonna have to come whup his ass. Or save him or something. There are only so many choices available. I wonder if I hack into their game, if I can create more choices? Hmm.

Tony. Pepper wishes texting had an eyeroll emoticon. Or, better yet, an eyeroll font. We do have this meeting.

With Mr. Obvious and Boring. Look, there are three options for Natasha to take. She can offer to (a) Kill the Bad Guys, (b) Talk Them to Death – a very real possibility in our real lives, I might add, or (c) Tell Cap he's on His Own. None of those sound likely except the first one. But there's this Easter Egg I found that lets her fuck Cap while he's still tied up. I think I'll go with that one.

Pepper blinks a couple of times. Did you just text me you're going to make two of your team mates fuck in a game?

Tony gives her this sidelong, 'who me?' innocent look that wouldn't fool anyone who knew him at all. Yes?

Tony, that's not acceptable! I can't believe you're making animated icons of people you actually know have sex! Dubious consent sex!

His mouth turns down for a split second. I guess you don't want to see the Avengers porn I found on the internet, do you?

Of course I don't! She stabs at the button icons on her phone's screen. Why can't there be an indignant font, too? Something to ask Tony to build into his next product.

Even with Iron Man and Pepper Potts?

The thought they are in a meeting, surrounded by heads of a corporation Tony is considering buying – well, not considering, he made up his mind about three months ago, and this is the first time with everything else that they'd been able to schedule a meeting to discuss it – nearly flies out of Pepper's mind. She has to physically restrain herself from spinning on Tony, grabbing his lapels and giving him a good shake. Instead, she settles for, Porn. Of. Us?

Uh, huh. It's not bad, either. Decent-looking replications of us, at least. Remind me when we get on the jet, and I'll pull it up for you. The whole team gets into an orgy in one of them. I bet the fan boys hate it, but the fan girls probably eat it up. Are you aware someone – lots of someones, actually – is writing fan fiction stories about me and Cap, and me and Loki, and me and Bruce? I mean, I'd prefer being paired with you, but some of the stories are absolutely hysterical. I make JARVIS read them to me while I'm working – he sounds so put-upon during the sex scenes.

TONY. MEETING. PAY ATTENTION NOW. Pepper hopes she's not blushing. From indignation, or the knowledge Tony will show her this as soon as they get on the jet, she's not sure which.

Aw, Pep, don't be that way. I mean, I've been commenting on the guy's speech the whole time. I coded in my phone so I can just tap a key, and an appropriate response will come up, like, 'Right on' or 'Can you elaborate?' or 'I think this needs further study'. I got the idea from the Avengers game. It works really well. I'll program it into your phone, too.

I don't want it on my phone. Someone has to listen to this discussions, she types in stiffly, still trying desperately not to think of porn, and porn games, and whatever else the Avengers might've been dragged into – with her, too, willy-nilly.

Fine, fine. So, what do you want to see first once we get to the jet? Porn, game, or fic?

This meeting couldn't be over soon enough.

~end~