I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "One Step at a Time" – Jordin Sparks


~*.*~
'You believe and you doubt – you're confused, but have it all figured out.
Everything that you always wished for could be yours, should be yours, would be yours, if you only knew.

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet – wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it.
You know you can, if you get the chance – in your face and the door keeps slamming.

Now, you're feeling more and more frustrated, and you're getting all kind of impatient – waiting.
We live and we learn to take one step at a time.
There's no need to rush.

It's like learning to fly or falling in love.
It's gonna happen, when it's supposed to happen.
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time...'
~*.*~


I laid on my bed and stared at my ceiling, not really seeing it. It's been a month since Adam died and I still can't believe it happened. One day he was here, and then he just wasn't. It's not fair. Out of everyone I know... he's the person who deserved to die the least.

No one seems to understand that I need time. I don't want to talk about how awful I'm feeling and I definitely don't want to spend all of my time with people that just remind me of my fallen friend. Seeing any of the Torres family sends me to a fit of tears. And Eli… there are just too many memories. I broke up with him almost right after Adam passed. I couldn't stand being with him, anymore. It was just too much. It was all too much.

I whimpered as hot tears fell from my eyes. I hiccupped and closed my eyes to cry.


Owen's POV

I knocked on the Torres' front door. Audra opened the door and smiled at me. She ushered me inside and hugged me.

"Drew is downstairs with Dallas." She told me. I nodded my thanks.

"Thank you." I told her, before heading to the basement. I saw Dallas and nodded in his direction. "Drew here?" I asked him. He nodded and pointed to the couch. "Hey man," I said, as I sat down next to him.

"What's up, Owen?" He asked as he shot the crap out of an enemy on Call of Duty.

"Just thought I'd come by and see how you were." I told him. He nodded, but kept playing his game.

"I'm okay. Things are easier when I'm distracted. You just missed Eli."

"Fine with me, I never cared much for the kid."

"You're not the only one." Dallas chuckled.

"He's a wreck, man. I mean, I am, too. But, he's taking his break-up with Clare really hard." Drew explained.

"I didn't know they broke up."

"Yeah, she won't even speak to Drew. Every time she sees him, she just cries." Dallas told me. I nodded, slowly.

"I'm worried about her, Owen. She won't talk to anyone." Drew confessed.

"Do you want me to try and talk to her?" I offered. I mean, it can't hurt. What's the worst that will happen? She'll tell me to get out.

"Would you, man? Just let her know that we're here, when she's ready. Mom's really worried about her, too." Drew admitted. I nodded and clapped him on the back.

"I'll head over there, now. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll be in a talking mood."


Clare's POV

I was crying so hard, that I didn't even hear my bedroom door open.

"Clare," a voice filled my ears. I jumped and mopped off my face. I glanced over and saw Owen. I sat up and grabbed a tissue off of my bedside table.

"Why are you here?" I asked him, gruffly. I lost my voice from crying and speak much louder than a whisper.

"Drew mentioned that you were having a tough time and no one has really heard from you. I volunteered to stop by and see how you were doing." He told me, sitting down next to me, on my bed. I stiffened and moved a bit closer to the wall.

"I'm fine." I lied.

"No, you're not. You need someone to lean on, Clare." He pressed.

"Why? Why do I need anything? Why can't I just be left alone to grieve?! He didn't deserve it, Owen!" I screamed. He moved closer to me and put an arm around my shoulder.

"Because, if you don't have someone, you'll drive yourself crazy. Everyone's worried about you. No one wants you to hurt yourself, Clare." He whispered, softly. I sniffled and wiped my nose with my ball of tissues in my hand.

"It doesn't matter what happens to me, Owen. He's gone. Adam's gone." I sobbed.

"Come here." He told me, pulling me into his chest. I broke down, and wept against him. I'm not sure how long we stayed that way, but he never complained. He didn't move, save to hand me more tissues. He rocked me, gently, and let me cry. Eventually, I pulled away. "It's okay to grieve him, Clare, but you can't spend the rest of your life hidden away in your room."

"Why?" I breathed.

"You'll never get passed this, if you don't face the world." He told me, gently.

"When did you get so smart?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"It happens when you get older, or so I'm told."

"Where do I go?" I asked him. He looked at me for a long minute, before opening his mouth to respond.

"Where can you handle going?" He asked me. It was my turn to shrug.

"Some place that doesn't remind me of him. I see him everywhere, Owen. It's too much. It hurts so badly. It feels like my heart was ripped out of my chest and I can't get it back. He was my best friend and now, he's just gone. I don't understand why he had to leave me. He was such a good person, Owen. He was the best person and he didn't deserve this. It didn't deserve any of it. He had such a hard like, and it's not fair. I need him, Owen. I still need him!" I cried, sobbing again. He swept me back into his arms and let me sob.

"Then don't go somewhere that reminds you of him, Clare." He suggested, quietly. "You can start by coming to my house. It's somewhere that isn't your room and Drew won't be there. You don't have to see them, until you're ready. I know it's not fair. Life isn't fair, but you still have to live it. You can't do this, Clare."

"Why are you being nice to me?! I-I don't feel like I can do anything. I love him, Owen. He was like my brother and he's just gone. I don't even know how to keep going. I feel like I'm dying. I want to die."

"You're allowed to feel that way. I'm here, because everyone needs someone and I don't mind being that person for you. Let me be here for you. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be around to make sure that you don't just wither away into nothing. I can be your distraction, your shoulder, your friend or whatever else you need. And, there's not some magical guide that tells you how to get passed things like this. I don't remember who said it, but there's this quote that says, 'When you're going through hell, keep going.'"

"Winston Churchill," I hiccupped. He laughed.

"I forgot how smart you are."

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to, Clare."

"I don't deserve it." I shook my head.

"Don't tell me what you deserve. Go take a shower and change into something comfortable."

"Why?"

"Because I'm taking you to my place and we're going to watch movies."He told me. I nodded.

"Owen?"

"Yeah?" He asked. I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Thank you." I whispered. He smiled.

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to end up kissing you back." He warned. I smiled. It felt foreign, like my muscles weren't used to moving that way.

"Good, you can distract me." I said as I got up.

"Clare?" He asked. I turned around to face him. He placed a tentative on my cheek and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled, again, for the first time in ages and moved away. "Think about that while you're getting ready."

"Okay, kissing friend," I mused.

"I like that." He smirked. I went into my bathroom and took a shower. For a few minutes, I didn't think about Adam and how much his death was killing me. Maybe, just maybe, Owen was onto something.


~*.*~
'When you can't wait any longer, but there's no end in sight, it's the faith that makes you stronger.
The only way we get there is one step at a time.

Take one step at a time.
There's no need to rush.
It's like learning to fly or falling in love.
It's gonna happen, when it's supposed to happen.
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time...'
~*.*~


A/N: This is a one-shot and it won't be my last. If it made you emotional, you're not the only one. I was bawling while I wrote a couple of Clare's parts.

Review?

-Anneryn