1: the demon

The problem was that Tsunayoshi was too kind.

He was small with large eyes that were too expressive for their own good. He cried easily, got frightened easily, and in a crowded room, his presence was diminished to a small timid thing. He brought home strays, tripped over his own feet, and was generally a good-natured person with nothing but the best intentions.

This wouldn't normally be a problem and these traits would usually be considered endearing.

That is if he weren't a demon living in Hell.

(And for him, life literally is hell, pun intended)

So when he gets roughed up from the bigger demons, when he was cruelly taunted and mercilessly bullied, he secretly wished he were born an angel instead. Useless Tsuna. The demon that should have been an angel, word spat out like a dirty, blasphemous curse by the whispering hellish denizens. But if he were an angel, his existence could have been accepted (maybe, maybe not).

Tsuna looked at pictures of angels, sometimes, in the castle's library. He had never seen an angel in real life before, most demons didn't really. It was usually the upper echelon or soldiers that had the opportunity, but he thought he would like to see one, just once. Their wings looked so beautiful. He looked at himself in mirrors and wondered what it would be like to have soft shining feathers curled up at his back instead of the dark leathery wings with its jutting bones.

It was hard to imagine. Despite his unusually soft appearance, angels were holy and Tsuna was anything but, with eyes too gold and slitted, small horns poking from his hair, nails a little too clawed, and not to mention the long thin tail usually drooping behind him, like a lion's. Too demonic.

But sometimes he wondered. Sometimes.

When he was much much younger, he often took walks with Brother. Brother would hold his hand tightly and talk about his plans for him with a pleasant smile and excitement, as he exclaimed of what he would someday do.

"You will be strong, Tsunayoshi! When you get more powerful, you'll have the strength to take down a fleet of angels and make humans beg at your feet," Brother babbled. "You will always be by my side, of course. I will be commander and you can be my lieutenant!"

Tsuna's eyes watered and he timidly tugged at their linked hands. "But Brother," he said. "I dun wanna be strong."

Brother had stopped walking and blinked down at him. "Why?" he asked.

"Cuz I dun wanna hurt anyone."

Brother had gaped in astonishment. "…But why?" he asked again, genuinely bewildered.

(There was always something about Tsuna)

He really didn't want to hurt anyone. He couldn't even imagine even doing so for the thought would bring him to tears. But he changed his mind about being strong. He wanted to at least gain some qualities that would redeem him in the eyes of others, especially in Brother's, who often looked at him with an unreadable face and thin lips. Giotto doesn't talk to Tsunayoshi as much as before, and Tsuna ached with loneliness. He missed his brother intensely and wanted to make him proud. He was so, so alone.

So he strived as hard as he could, and each time he failed epically, usually leaving him grounded in his room or scolded.

Giotto's friends really don't know what to think of him. And Tsuna doesn't know what Giotto thinks at all.

The latest stunt had a beat up Tsuna dragged into the castle to the main study room by an angry Alaude, and in front of a coldly furious Brother. Alaude was sent away and when the doors closed shut, his shoulders were grabbed.

"What were you thinking," Giotto hissed, clenching tighter. His nails were digging in, almost breaking skin. Tsuna whimpered and tried to keep still.

"I thought I wanted to try catching an Aetherion Eagle," he said, finding the little courage he had in himself. "I could do it. I can do it! I just finished setting up some traps when I accidently tripped and set one off and it heard me, but I swear – "

"ENOUGH," his brother roared, his large wings flaring out in anger. "Just stop, stop! Stop it with your ideas and your inane quests! I am tired of cleaning up after your messes; don't you know what the others say about you?!" Giotto shook him. "You can't do it, and if you continue on like this, you will end up dead. Dead! Do you think I want that? So there is nothing for you to prove, nothing, otherwise you are just an embarrassment to yourself and me!"

There was a sudden silence inside the study except for the sound of Giotto's harsh breathing and Tsunayoshi's hitched breath.

Just an embarrassment.

The words rung out and he clutched his hands tightly by his side, bowing his head down. He couldn't bear to look at Giotto right now. Tears sprung up to his eyes but he gritted his teeth and they did not fall.

Realizing what he just said, Giotto's eyes widened, and then narrowed. He let go of Tsuna's shoulders and his hands hovered with some hesitance before falling to his sides.

"Go – go to your room," he said finally with a trace of uncertainty. Tsuna didn't take the time to ponder and left.

He skipped dinner that night. Nobody came up to look for him and that was fine. But as he laid in his bed, thoughts swarmed around in his head.

I need to get better, he knew this with clarity. I must get better. Not because of Brother, but because I am weak and mixed up and I'm at the end of the rope here. I have to find my own strength.

But how? Giotto didn't like to let him leave the castle without some sort of escort. He could barely fight, because no teacher stayed long. And he would admit that he was also a little bit of a coward.

I don't have any experience. Brother won't let me. He understood that he wouldn't become stronger where he was at.

Inside him, there was a calm. A heat deep within him that let his thoughts run smooth and clear like a deep river. It guided them and his emotions became serene.

I have to leave. He thought on this and nodded. Impulsive as the decision may be, but it was right. He knew this.

He went quietly in the night with a pack and traveling cloak, and left a note.

It wouldn't be found until three days later when Giotto mucked up the courage to go to his room and apologize.

I have decided to go on a journey to find myself.

Sorry for the trouble and please don't look for me.

-Tsuna

Giotto screamed and Tsuna's room exploded.

(And somewhere, Tsuna shuddered with a sudden chill. A bad omen, he decides and then forgets those thoughts when Reborn starts to shoot at him. "Run demon, run!" "HIEEE!")

edited 7/28/16

notes: inspiration for this story came from the song, 'Big Houses' by Squalloscope.