Too Little, Too Late: a Dark Shadows drabble

"Y-You don't know what it's like, you know? You don't know what it's like at all. I-I didn't used to be like this. I used to be strong, tough. I could take care of myself. I…I could look straight into somebody's face- someone bigger and stronger than me and I could tell 'em to… to… Well, I'd dare 'em to- to try something. Just try! I was my own man. I made my own decisions. I-I went wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I could… I could do whatever came to mind."

"But then… Then I came here. Then I pushed my luck too far…" The young man swallows hard and his eyes go a little wider as his mind travels to a place of fear from his past. "Now nothing I do is my own decision –or near enough to nothing. I-I-I can't disobey, you see. I just can't. It's not a matter of what I want anymore. He has control over me and that's the truth. He's made me do such… awful things. He's done such awful things himself."

The young man fidgets uncomfortably as he considers his words. "But… But you know what? What's strange about all that? I look back at what I was before… before him and I-I realize… just how nasty I was. I had no respect for myself, let alone anyone else. I was a louse to women and picked fights with any man that stepped between me and them. At-at the time I think I thought those guys just thought they were better than me and my response was to-to prove 'em wrong by a fist to the face or somethin'. But now I realize it really just was what it was. I was rude and thought that everything in the world was something I had a right to. Whether it was a… a pretty girl or a pretty jewel. But those guys that stepped between me and girls or me an' …an' money an' stuff…They just saw a value in them that I didn't understand, saw rules that I-I-I didn't understand. Didn't wanna understand.

"I tried to come off as a tough-guy, but really I was a coward. It wasn't until this…this… enslavement that I really recognized the value of anything beyond the monetary. Especially human life. It's terrible, but in some ways I'm grateful to him for that. Before this, I wouldn't have thought twice about you. I wouldn't have thought about what would happen to you, about... about what he'd do to you. It wouldn't have been my business, you see. It just wouldn't have been my business. But now… Now he makes it my business, makes me a part of it and I hate it. But… it's strange because I realize that through this… this horribleness, this… unnatural horribleness… it's somehow made me a better person. Because … now I see you. I see people and I see their worth. An'… An' I see fear. I know real fear an' I would never wish it on another human being. Ever. I hope you'll believe that.

"But…But even so… Even though I know what you're feeling now, scared and alone and trapped like this, waiting for it to come- for him to come… I can't betray him. I just can't. It's fear and it's his power over others –you'll see- And… I am so sorry."

The young man steps a little closer and swallows hard, eyes filled with sadness and self-loathing, his whole body trembling. "I am so very, very sorry."

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Author's Note: As you might be able to tell, I found the forced transformation of Willie from the rough, rude scoundrel (pre-ep209) to the meek, frightened slave (post-210) a sadly intriguing concept. He was a real jerk before Barnabas came around, but during the whole kidnapping of Maggie you could see that Willie had really changed. Or at least was then able to care about and empathize with other human beings about the kind of fate Barnabas would bring down on them to have the desire to help. O.O Reviews are awesome! Let me know what you think! But flames are dangerous and will be quickly extinguished. :P