You send me a look.

It's not a look I love. It's not a look I want to see a lot.

But it's a look I understand.

You hand me the sleeping baby in your arms and retreat to the bedroom. I watch you roll your shoulders and take a deep breath as you walk away from me.

You're tired.

Exhausted.

Our baby is barely 10 days old.

He's still so new, so alien.

Seeing him, it's hard to imagine that he was inside your belly. He's so big.

So alive.

He came out of you and changed our world. But he's real and really here in my arms.

And you're so good about giving me bonding time with him, baby. I know you're worried about it, but I'm not. You spent nine months with him already and I know you want me to feel that in my own way, and I do. I spent nine months loving him and talking to him and taking care of you.

My mother comes out of the kitchen still chattering away and that look you gave me before you left, it sits in my body. Because I feel it too.

She coos over our sleeping son in my arms and takes a picture before sitting down to finish her story about my cousin and his girlfriend and their friend Maritza.

I don't really care about my cousin, his girlfriend, or their friend Maritza.

"Mami, can you watch the baby while I go lie down with Britt?"

"Of course…. That's why I'm here. Give me that little pile of love!"

It's true. It is why she's here, giving us an extra hand so we can get back on our feet and used to the new shift in our house, in our lives.

I lean over and kiss my mother's cheek before handing off our son. The way my mother already loves him makes my heart feel too big.

"Go nap, Santanita. I'll start dinner for you both."

"Thanks, mami."

You're still awake when I find you in the bedroom, propped up and reading a book.

You look adorable though because your eyes are drooping and you're fighting it so hard.

"Hi."

"Hi."

You send me a soft smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"You ok, baby?"

"Yeah… fine."

I sit down on the edge of the bed next to you and gently push your book down asking for your attention. "Fine?"

"Um… no, not fine." You scrunch your nose and I can see you warring with yourself behind your eyes.

"Britt…?"

"Please don't push this Santana."

"Push what?"

You shrug your shoulders, "Just… I'm fine, ok. Just tired and sore. I did push a baby out of a very tiny hole not that long ago."

I open my mouth to speak but there's a soft knock at the door and you groan loudly, running your hands through your hair again. And now I know what's wrong. I get up from the bed and crack the door open.

"Mami?"

"Santanita, is it ok if we go for a walk?"

"Yeah… there's a mobi wrap by the door with a diaper bag."

"Ok, little man and I will be back before you have to go later tonight so you can say goodnight."

I cringe thinking about the premiere I have to attend. I don't know how I let my manager rope me into it. You gave me the ok but, I hate leaving you.

I hate leaving this little cocoon we have created together.

I slide back onto the bed and watch you read for a little bit. You finally look peaceful, and you smile when I start stroking your thigh, letting you know I'm here. You close your book and place it on the table, sliding down the pillows to my level and looking at me with a soft smile in your eyes.

We stay like that breathing each other in until you drift off to sleep. I watch you for a while and brush the soft hair off your neck until it's time for me to shower and get ready for my stylist to come over.

Your eyes bug out of your head when I come out of the bedroom prepped and ready to go an hour later.

It sends me over the moon when you look at me like that.

I'll never get tired of it.

Never.

The baby is asleep in your arms but you still reach up to peck my lips gently, with a soft "You look great, babe."

Your eyes soft and happy until my mother starts chattering away next to you about the premiere and the star and you roll your eyes and stand up to head towards the bassinet in our bedroom.

The premiere is a quick in and quick out for me. There are so many questions about the baby and you, it's completely refreshing from the usual 'what are you wearing' and I smile every time I think about my two balls of love at home.

I wish I was there with you.

I stay for a drink and head home, texting you that I'm on the way. My mother greets me at the door with a smile and more questions and I smile and hug her and head to find you in the bedroom.

But you meet me with a stern glare and I know.

I know I'm in trouble.

"Britt?"

"Under lock and key, Santana?"

"What?"

"You told E! News you were under lock and key since the baby came."

"Uh….?"

"Don't."

You get off the bed and walk into the bathroom. "Baby, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Go read the page I left up on my iPad." You say around your toothbrush.

I feel my stomach drop. We've been in such a heavenly space since the baby came, this feels completely out of the blue.

I take out my earrings and pick up the tablet off the bed. Sure enough the interview is there, my quote highlighted.

"Britt," I make my voice as soft and true as possible, "you know I didn't mean it like that."

"I know."

Your eyes soften and I see the frustration in your stance, the way your hand moves through your hair.

"I know, I know. I just am overrun ok? I'm exhausted, my hormones are insane and I feel like I haven't had a moment alone with you since before the baby came."

"Well… I get it. And, we haven't."

"No we haven't. I love your mother and I'm so glad she was here to lend a hand, but babe, I need her to leave."

I laugh at that and step closer to you. But you hold steady.

"No, Santana. I'm not joking."

"I know you're not. I'm just about ready for her to go, too. I'll talk to her in the morning ok?"

"Ok. Promise?"

I hold up my pinky and you smile at me, "Promise."

You link pinkies with mine and it's the first time I see you breathe all day.

"Britt?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

You shrug.

"Don't. Please."

"I don't know… you love having your mom here and she is helpful and I see how you two interact with our son and it makes me so happy."

"You make me happy. I want to know these things."

You scrunch your face, "Sorry?"

I kiss your lips, "Don't be." I pause for a minute, "Can you unzip this dress?"

"No funny business... I'm still not healed."

I roll my eyes at you and you laugh and it makes my stomach flop. I've missed you laugh for these past couple of days.

You slide my zipper down and shove my dress down to the floor around my feet and pull me towards the bed. "We can still cuddle though."

"We can still cuddle…. until the baby cries."

"Maybe your mom can get him, get in some quality time before we kick her to the curb."

I laugh, "Sounds like a plan."

A/N: Hi all! Thanks for all being patient with me. I know it's been a while since I've had an update. My pieces for Con really got in my head a little bit and then I was working like crazy, fitting in some vacation, watching the World Cup (Go USA) and doing some other things. Here's something I've been kicking around for a little bit. Hope you all enjoy.