Chapter Three: And the Rain Came Down

The TV was on but Tony couldn't seem to focus on it, no matter how much he loved the marathon of classics TCM was airing. His mind was elsewhere and it had been all evening. Steve was late getting home from work which wasn't uncommon. Tony had all the patience in the world, knowing exactly what a job in law enforcement entailed. Most evenings he whipped up a quick dinner for the two of them, knowing Steve would be famished when he walked through the door but not that night.

That night he was too preoccupied to cook and he blamed it on the low budget movie he'd watched earlier in the day…

Cassandra Michelson was a journalist who'd met her soul mate during a trip South America to cover a humanitarian story but before she could tell the man—Brett, was his name—she'd been kidnapped. It was as cheesy as a romance film could get but the irony wasn't lost on Tony. Cassandra had spent the majority of the movie wondering if she'd ever see her soul mate again. Would they have a chance at love? Was he the one who'd give her the five children and quaint house in the country with the red front door she'd always dreamed about?

As often happens in such movies, Brett had come to the rescue and the couple had lived happily ever after and Tony found himself unable to stop thinking about his relationship with Steve. If he and Steve really were soul mates, which Tony believed wholeheartedly that they were, was it only a matter of time before Steve swept in and saved him from his demons? Was he screwing everything up by keeping his dark past hidden away?

Originally he hadn't planned on opening up to Steve at all but as the man became more and more persistent it was clear to Tony that he'd have to tell him eventually. If he'd learned anything from the romance flick he never planned on admitting he'd watched, it was how deep the bond between soul mates was. Then again, it was just a low budget movie. It didn't even have any big name actors in it. Could he really trust something as big as his past and his relationship to Steve to a cheesy movie?

He had a lot to think about before Steve got home…

Tony sat in the pouring rain, watching thirty and forty foot waves rage in the ocean. Lightning lit up the sky and thunder interrupted the silence as the threatening storm moved closer but Tony couldn't bring himself to care enough to get up and move inside, out of the downpour. His hair laid wet and flat against his head and his clothes were plastered to his body. A shiver ran through his body despite the warmth of the rain that the rare winter storm brought. His plague weakened lungs may protest in the morning but it wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before.

"You're one crazy son of a bitch!" came a loud voice behind him. "You know that?" Steve flopped down onto the beach next to Tony, already just as drenched despite only having been outside for several seconds. He'd just walked inside from a long day at work. The last place he expected to find Tony was outside in the downpour. It wouldn't be long before the monster waves started reaching the shore and they'd both have to move back from the beach or, hopefully, into his house.

"It's so powerful," Tony said not taking his eyes off the waves, "so much bigger than us. In less than a second we could both be swept away and gone forever."

Steve's attention moved from the storm to Tony as concern flooded his eyes. "You're not gettin' suicidal on me, are you?"

Tony looked over at Steve with a half sincere smile on his face and shook his head. "No," he answered, "just thinking about how fragile life is."

"Good," Steve said with a lighthearted laugh, "because my evening plans didn't include checking you into a mental hospital." He reached over and rested his hand on top of Tony's, squeezing gently as he studied the man's body language. He sensed this was a turning point in their relationship but in some ways Tony was still very much a mystery to him and he wasn't sure if his gut was right or not. Regardless, he would sit out on the stormy beach in his backyard all night with his lover if that was what it took.

"I used to be an NCIS agent," Tony confessed quietly after several moments of prolonged silence. "I was stationed in DC till my boss was blown up. I took over the team while he recovered and when he returned I was given my own team in Rota, Spain."

"Musta done a good job," Steve urged when Tony paused for just a little too long.

"I guess," Tony said with a shrug. "Investigating the crimes was easy but the team was hurting. They were bitter, scared, confused."

"And as team leader you absorbed all of it," Steve said knowingly.

Tony nodded. "I thought Rota would be easier. You know, investigating the crimes without all the baggage and history that came along with the team in DC. Seemed like a nice promotion."

"Was it?"

"For a while," Tony answered. "I was assigned a couple great agents. Got over being homesick pretty quickly and figured out the lay of the land in Rota. Within weeks we'd gone from a boss/agent relationship to friends… maybe even the kind of bond a family would share. Everything was going perfect."

"Until?" Steve prompted.

"Until a ruthless, rogue CIA experiment took my team from me," Tony said so softly that Steve could barely hear him over the storm. "He kept them alive for days. He'd torture 'em and send me pictures or videos with a clue about where he was keeping them. I'd track 'em down but I was always too late. They stayed one step ahead of me. Until they didn't."

Steve waited patiently for Tony to continue. He was well aware of the rare glimpse he was being given into the man's head and what a privilege it was to be the one Tony was finally opening up to and he didn't want to push or pry too much.

"By the time I caught up with them JP was gone—dead, tortured almost beyond recognition. Julie—we called her Jules—she was barely holding on but still with it enough to know I'd finally found them. She took her last breath in my arms, waiting for the ambulance." Tony turned teary eyes and a trembling lip towards Steve. "They were my responsibility, Steve, and I let them down. Now they're both dead. Two families are missing a brother and a sister, son and daughter. JP had a wife that loved him and a seven month old daughter that'll never really know her daddy. Jules wanted a family more than anything in the world and now she'll never have that chance. I feel like I shoulda been able to do more. I was team leader. Ishoulda been able to protect them!"

"We always feel responsible as the one in charge," Steve said. "I won't bother trying to convince you that sometimes the bad guys outsmart us because you already know it's true. One of these days maybe we'll both be able to accept it, let go of the hurt and put the past behind us. Or maybe not. I don't know."

"But you get it?" Tony asked with a hint of desperation in his voice. So far he hadn't found anyone who really understood what he was going through; not that he'd been looking. He didn't need someone to fix him or make the pain all better. That was impossible. But being able to talk to someone who knew what he was going through and didn't try to pacify him with cliché sayings would give him hope.

"Oh yeah," Steve said, wrapping his arms around Tony and pulling him into a strong hug, "I get it."

Tony was glad the rain masked the few disobedient tears streaming down his cheeks. Sharing his feelings with Steve and getting his fears and inadequacies off his chest had been more therapeutic than anything else he'd done to try to numb the pain of walking into the room and finding both of his agents dead and dying because he hadn't been able to get there in time.

Steve sat on the sandy beach, holding Tony tightly in his arms until the storm waves started splashing against his legs. As much as he hated to disturb the moment, he knew if they didn't move they could both be washed out to sea and never seen again. "C'mon, babe," he said against Tony's drenched hair, "let's go inside. We need to get you dried off and warmed up before that rattle in your chest gets any worse."

Steve did most of the work getting Tony into the house. Tony was stiff from being cold and wet and sitting curled up for so long and he was feeling emotionally drained. If it hadn't been for Steve he probably would've been content to sleep on the beach in the pounding rain.

"'m so tired," he murmured as Steve stood him in the back entryway and started undressing him.

"I know," Steve said. "Let's get these wet clothes off then we can go to bed."

Several well planned maneuvers later, Tony was changed into a pair of dry underwear and tucked into Steve's bed, snoring softly while Steve watched over him, kissing his forehead repeatedly.

Morning dawned in all its majestic glory. Bright colors lit up the dawn sky, leaving behind any trace of the storm that had rocked the island the previous night and brought with it a perky Tony. If Steve hadn't known better he would've wondered if he'd dreamed up the conversation they'd had the night before while Tony explored with his lips and probed with his tongue.

Steve let Tony touch and play until he was so excited he couldn't take it any longer then rolled him over, eased Tony's legs up and pushed into him, using his precum as lubrication. He ravaged Tony's body to Tony's 'fuck me' and 'harder' commands until they were both boneless and breathing heavy.

"Please tell me you don't have to work today," Tony said, pushing the sheet away from their sweaty bodies and cuddling up against Steve.

"It's Saturday," Steve said, running his fingers through Tony's hair. "Unless the governor calls, I don't have to work today."

"If the governor calls he's gonna have to answer to me," Tony said in a mock threatening tone.

"I'd like to see that," Steve replied with a chuckle. The two shared another kiss and Steve held Tony tighter. "Feelin' better?" he asked gently, hoping Tony didn't shut down on him again after such a big breakthrough the night before.

"Much," Tony answered, sounding completely sated.

"Any other deep, dark secrets you wanna get off your chest?"

"Just one," Tony answered. It was one that had been weighing on him ever since Steve had asked him how long he was staying on the island on that first day they'd hooked up. Originally he hadn't planned on putting it into words but after feeling the high that opening up the previous evening had given him, he decided to give it a shot. "I feel homesick," he confessed with a cynical laugh, "but the stupid thing is I don't even know where my home is anymore."

"It's right here," Steve said without a moment's hesitation, "with me."

And for the second time in Tony's life he believed the words another man was speaking to him. First it had been Gibbs rescuing him from a hopeless situation in Baltimore and now it was Steve, helping him pick up the pieces and put his life back together. He may have run away to Hawaii, unsure of what he'd find, how he'd feel or how long he'd stay but a chance encounter with a guy that looked like sex on his first day had led to a relationship that confirmed that the islands were his home now. He fit there. He was happy and he was ready to make a life with his handsome hero… whatever that may look like.

End.