I thought that you were the best part of me,
Baby I guess that we just believe what, we wanna believe
I thought, I knew you so well , I couldn't tell
That this was sinking so deep, I see it now, I'm breathing now,
It's time for me... for me.. to let it go
He was apart of everything. All of her favorite memories, her worst ones too.
It seemed like they were never apart, until she realized how little they actually were together. He was so ingrained into her it was like he was always there, even when he was in another country.
He was familiar. He was her family. She loved him.
Her California boy. The one she shared her Mid Summer's Night Dream with.
She was still in love with him.
Who she had become since then was still in love with who he'd become.
Or so she told herself.
It was cool when it started, but now the flame has gone
My heart is breaking into pieces, but still I'm moving on,
You're the wrong man for the job,
I cant believe that it took me so long to realise,
Finally know what it feels like
I'm starting over but, I won't be afraid
I'm sorry to say,
You're the wrong man for the job
Eun Sang was good at lying to herself, but her eyes always betrayed her.
Tan knew her.
Their relationship had such a rocky start and they clung to the idea of one another. After everything settled they left behind their ideas and started digging for facts.
They knew everything about each other.
How he and Jay became friends.
How she had been mad at her dad for getting sick.
He was her best friend, but that was it.
She could lie to herself, but not to Tan.
He understood her feelings, he didn't agree, but he understood, and he'd finally matured enough to accept them.
Oh..
Sometimes I wish I could take back everything,
It'd be easier to never have known you,
I would spare myself so much pain,
Still I can't stop thinkin' 'bout,
What I'mma doing without you on the lonely nights,
But now I know, what I gotta do,
I can't ever change you,
Lettin' it go tonight..
It had been a few weeks when she started imagining what life would have been like if she hadn't met him in California.
It was lovely.
And painful.
It was easier.
But she wouldn't change it.
She cherished those memories.
He was wonderful and terrible all at the same time. For everything she couldn't stand about him there was a quality she adored.
Hey
It was cool when it started, but now the flame has gone
You're the wrong man for the job,
My heart is breaking into pieces, but still I'm moving on,
You're the wrong man for the job,
I can't believe that it took me so long to realise,
Finally know what it feels like ooh.. (you're the wrong man for the job)
I'm starting over but, I won't be afraid
I'm sorry to say,
You're the wrong man for the job
They cut off contact with each other.
It would be harder it they stayed in touch, at least for now.
He made her promise they'd try being friends eventually, when they both were ready.
But for now they stayed away.
It was getting hard to stay with him, but being apart wasn't any easier.
They both had to relearn how to live without one another.
I'm looking for somebody to love me, (the way I should be loved)
I need someone to do more for me, then you have ever done,
I love you but you're not the one...!
They fought a lot about some of his overbearing tendencies but he always apologized in the most amazing ways.
He'd made her standards so high.
Because of him she learned what she needed out of a man.
She wanted someone who let her expand her wings more.
But she refused to settle for someone who adored her less than he did.
It was cool when it started but now the flame has gone
You're the wrong man for the job,
My heart is breaking into pieces, but still I'm moving on,
You're the wrong man for the job,
I cant believe that it took me so long to realize,
Finally know what it feels like (you're the wrong man for the job)
I'm starting over but, I won't be afraid
I'm sorry to say,
You're the wrong man for the job
Yeah..yeah
He had been her rock for years.
She's stayed resting on him for so long she forgot she could fly.
They hadn't meant to clip each others wings.
But their feathers were growing back now.
She hadn't flown away, yet she was perched on the edge of a cliff waiting for the right moment to soar.
You're the wrong man for the job,
You're the wrong man for the job,
She loved him.
He was her California boy.
The boy who stole her summers.
The one she fought to be with.
She would always love him.
But she was no longer in love with him.
Three and a half months was nothing in comparison to the five years she had spent with him.
She was so used to having him around.
Always there.
Laughing, comforting, bickering with her.
It was easier in the morning. She had a fresh day full of tasks to keep her distracted.
Nights hurt.
So she kept herself occupied. Sleepovers with Bo Na, dinner at Omma's, movies with Chan Young, or when she was in a particularly bad place dancing wherever Myung Soo was DJing at. That is, if Tan hadn't already claimed him.
Tonight was a different kind of night though.
She'd had a fight with her boss. The kind of fight she'd go home and tell Tan about. At first his hotheadedness would have him attempting to storm out and have her boss fired but she'd calm him and then he'd fix it in another way. He'd try his hardest to take her mind off of it, trying to make her laugh, poking her cheeks to distract her, anything to cheer her up.
She had to resist the temptation to pat her cheek where he would have.
To make matters worse Bo Na and Chan Young were on a couples retreat and Omma had left to visit her uncle just an hour before she left work.
Her only option had been Myung Soo but he hadn't picked up.
So she tried again and left a voice mail.
At least Omma had made her dinner before leaving.
She felt her phone buzz.
"I'll call you in three seconds!"
She knew what that meant. He was with a girl and didn't want to take the call in front of her.
"Are you on a date? Don't worry about it."
"She's really pretty! XD Don't be silly. Let Oppa help you!"
"Does she have a name? I'm okay, Myung Soo. Enjoy your date."
"I'm sure she does! Go to my apartment! I'll be back soon!"
Young Do loved Myung Soo's apartment, though he would never tell him. It was like a bigger version of his old studio.
He'd kept the couch and there was still photos everywhere. He had a few of Bo Na's stuffed animals, some old school books Young Do didn't know why he kept and he was never short on Soju. Not that Young Do was much of a drinker, but it was comforting to know it was there.
Young Do had been spending a lot of time there recently. He was working on a new hotel project and Myung Soo's place was closer to the location than his. He been crashing about twice a week, so tired he'd fall asleep straight away, even with Myung Soo clucking away at him like a mother duck.
He finished work early today but hadn't felt like making the trip home.
It was nice, having the place to himself.
It was peaceful.
He almost cursed himself for thinking that when his phone rang.
"Ya! Are you at my place tonight?"
"Yes, why?"
"A friend of mine is coming over."
Myung Soo was practically shouting over the loud music.
"Who?"
"Cha Eun Sang."
Young Do gripped the phone hard.
"Don't bother running away. She's in the elevator now."
"You couldn't have told me sooner?"
"Ya! You act like it's your apartment!"
He had a point.
"Does she know I'm here?"
"No. It was hard enough getting her to go in the first place, she wouldn't have come if I'd told her you were there." His voice got serious. "Be nice to her, Young Do. She's going through a hard enough time as it is."
He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm hanging up."
She walked in a soon as he did.
The last person she had expected to see was Choi Young Do. She seen pictures of him in magazines and heard about him from Myung Soo but she hadn't seen him in person in she couldn't remember how long.
She was amazed by what she saw.
If anything her was taller, definitely older, but the shocking part was his clothes. They were casual. Well, as casual as she was sure he could get. He looked good. Healthier. Happy.
"Oh."
She felt the word leave her mouth before she could stop it.
He just grunted in response.
She didn't know why she was disappointed. She didn't expect him to speak to her. The last time they had spoken properly had been at the restaurant he'd taken her to when he "dumped her." He'd acknowledged her when she wormed his way into being his partner for a project but only to tell her he wouldn't be contributing. She couldn't remember what his voice sounded like anymore.
She noticed the phone in his hand, the way his fingers gripped it so hard his knuckles had turned white.
He must of just found out I was coming.
Between missing Tan, her boss yelling at her and Young Do's continued silence she didn't think she could take much more. She scurried to the kitchen with her face buried behind the bag of Omma's food.
She didn't care if she was acting like a coward. All she wanted to do was cry but Young Do's presence had ruined that for her. Running away from him was her only option.
He watched Eun Sang rush to the kitchen. It was strange seeing her again.
The girl he called his first love.
One thing was still the same.
The look of terror on her face when she saw him.
I guess some things never change.
He'd seen photos of her with Tan and Bo Na talked about her often. He generally tuned her out, but he still managed to catch that she had recently ended things with Tan. It explained why she looked so tired.
Heartbreak tended to do that to you.
It's what happened to him after he met her.
Though he didn't remember having such puffy eyes. He shook his head and pushed the thought out of his head, it was none of his business. They were nothing to each other now. He let the memories of her attempts to be his friend run through his mind. She'd tried so hard back then, always coming up with some type of excuse to try and get his attention. He wasn't sure why, she'd made her choice and he went along with it. Their last conversation had been years ago, he had refused to help with a science project - he always wondered how she managed to worm her way into being his partner - and she'd finally realized how serious he was about not being friends. She hadn't tried anything since then.
He didn't expect her to change that habit either.
He was wrong.
"Choi Young Do."
The words were like a slap across his face.
He'd forgotten her voice.
He didn't make a move to turn around.
"Ya! Are you really going to ignore me?"
He heard her sigh. "Fine. I just wanted to apologize for interrupting your night. I didn't realize you would be here."
He finally relaxed when she walked away. Just because she had broken up with Tan didn't mean they could be friends. He could be friends with Rachel and Bo Na, but not her, not Eun Sang. He no longer had feelings for her but she was his first love, he would always view her as such.
The option to be friends didn't exist for them.
She was determined to get him to acknowledge her. She'd been shocked at his presence at first but it had turned into the perfect distraction.
And she had a plan.
It was no secret that her mother adored Choi Young Do. After Omma had cooked for him she didn't see him for quite awhile, until the day Omma ran into him at the convenience store. Choi Young Do may of ignored her but he could never turn away from her mother. Omma brought him food every once in a while until he moved, and he made no secret of how much he loved her cooking.
Thankfully, Omma had given her everything she would need to make Choi Young Do acknowledge her presence.
It was time for his childish game to end.
He smelled the food and he instantly knew it had been made by Park Hee Nam. He would recognize her food anywhere.
Cha Eun Sang, you are cruel.
He could feel his stomach grumbling, he hadn't eaten dinner yet.
"I know you don't want to talk to me but Omma packed extra. I'll leave a bowl for you on the counter."
He waited till he heard her feet shuffle away before hurrying towards the counter. He almost had his hands on the bowl when it was ripped away.
"You can only have it if you'll talk to me."
This Eun Sang was different from the one who had walked in. Her eyes were still puffy and he didn't doubt she'd been crying but she had a mission and her mission was him.
He took his hands back.
When he looked at her face she was fighting back tears.
"I didn't say you had to be nice to me." Her voice was shaky.
"Thank you for the soup."
She jumped at the sound of his voice. She wasn't expecting him to give in so easily.
It was strange, now that he'd spoken to her she didn't know what to say back. So she shoved the bowl at him and ran away for the second time. She knew he would follow, just like he used to, but at least it gave her a moment to think.
His habit of staring hadn't changed. He sat next to her on the couch and chewed happily while staring at her. It almost felt like they were back in high school playing a gruesome game of cat and mouse again.
"It's not nice to stare."
"You told me I didn't have to be nice."
Young Do refused to feel bad when she shrunk away at his words. She had wanted him to speak to her and he was once again simply following her wishes.
It was easy to slip back into old habits. Eating and staring at Eun Sang had once been one of his favorite past times. It was still enjoyable, well, for him.
She was quite the sight, sitting there fighting back tears and clutching her bowl for dear life, he doubted she even remembered that there was food in there.
When the tears finally started to fall she turned her her face away from him.
"Eat your noodles."
It wasn't a suggestion. When she didn't comply he lifted the chopsticks to her mouth for her.
"I'm not a baby," she sniffled out.
"Finish your bowl."
She felt like she was being babysat, but it was better than being ignored. His antics surprised her, he didn't strike her as the caretaker kind. It took her awhile but she finally finished her dinner and then just like that he was gone. He did his duty and now he was done with her.
She was just thankful he stayed as long as he did.
As soon as he left, he returned to dangle something in her face.
"There's two things Myung Soo is never short on." Young Do lifted up a finger. "Soju," he held up a second, "and ice cream, both of which you look like you need."
Eun Sang stared at the items in her lap until she felt her chest start to contract. She was surprised by the sound that came out of her mouth.
Laughter.
She couldn't help the laughs that escaped her and once she started she couldn't stop. She felt herself crying again but this time it was from the laughter.
"What's so funny?"
She wiped at her face and smiled at him. "If someone had told me that I would run into Choi Young Do today and he would not only speak to me but then bring me soju and ice cream, I would have told them they were insane." She laughed again. "Thank you."
His brow was scrunched and she could tell he was fighting with himself. "Cha Eun Sang, this doesn't mean were friends."
If someone had told her she would break up with her California boy, she would have told them they were crazy. If anyone had told her she would be such a mess after breaking up with him, she would have laughed in their faces. If a person had told her she would even get Young Do to speak to her again, she would have walked away without even acknowledging them.
Yet all of those impossible things had happened. If those things could happen she no longer believed anything was impossible. Even friendship with Young Do.
"Acquaintances then?"
He scratched his brow. "Will you start crying again if I say no?"
She frowned at him. "Yes."
He bit his lip and suddenly she remember how much she had missed his old habits.
"Acquaintances, then."
It wasn't much, but it was enough.
Soooooo a few days ago I got a song I used to listen to YEARS ago randomly stuck in my head and this was the result! The song is Wrong Man For the Job by Jojo.
Hope you liked it!