A Second Little Mishap

1

Time and Time Again

A/N: this is the sequel to A Little Mishap, because several people have asked me to write one. It will feature most of the major characters from Once as toddlers, and takes place right after the first story! Once again, a special thanks to my friend CJ for her help with ideas for this fic!

All's well that ends well, Emma Swan thought in relief as she drove home with her boyfriend, Neal Cassidy, after they had dropped off everyone at their respective homes—Hook at the harbor, so he could go on his ship, Mr. Gold and Belle at Gold's salmon pink Victorian, Regina at the town hall so she could finish up some paperwork, and her parents, Mary Margaret and David Nolan, back at their loft. Now that they were all adults again, thanks to a potion she and Neal had concocted that reversed the effects of a miscast spell of hers, she could relax and have some alone time with Neal.

"You hungry?" she asked as they drove back to their apartment. It was actually Neal's apartment, but she had moved in with him two weeks ago, as living in the loft with her parents and Henry had become rather crowded. "I'll call Henry and he can order pizza for us."

"Yeah, pizza sounds great," Neal agreed. "I could eat a whole cow."

"We'll get two pizzas," Emma amended. "One plain, extra cheese, and one pepperoni."

"Garlic knots too," Neal reminded her.

"Okay. Let me call Henry on my Bluetooth." She called their son, who was now home from school and had hopefully begun his homework, after being dropped off home by Leroy. "Hey, Henry. Just wanted to give you a heads up, kid. Everything's back to normal and we wanted to order pizza tonight from Mike's, so would you do me a favor and call in an order for two large pies, one extra cheese and one pepperoni, and a side of garlic knots. We'll be home in a few. See ya, bye."

Emma turned down the winding little street that led to their apartment complex, visions of delicious gooey pizza dancing in her head.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Hook slapped the back of Billy Bart and Pegleg Pat, two of his crew members, and said, "Hey, mates, let's go and have a cold one down at the Rabbit Hole to celebrate my return!"

"Aye, Captain!" agreed Billy. "Let's lift a glass in yer honor!"

So the three pirates ambled off the Jolly Roger and down to the Rabbit Hole to have a few pints of rum and some snacks.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

In the stately old Victorian on Threadneedle Way, Mr. Gold had just changed out of his somewhat wrinkled Armani and into some more comfortable gray wool slacks and a long-sleeved casual heather colored Ralph Lauren shirt. After slipping on his black leather Gucci loafers, he went downstairs to make some tea for himself and Belle, who was in the bathroom off the master suite getting changed as well.

He decided to have a small snack as well with their tea, and rummaged in his fridge, finding some prosciutto de Parma and some honeydew, and some mozzarella. He cut up the cheese and the melon and wound strips of prosciutto around them and set them on a plate, then accompanied it with some almond vanilla mocha biscotti.

He poured boiling water from the kettle into his blue willow Royal Dalton teapot, the same teapot that went with his chipped cup, and placed it on the table, adding several chamomile teabags and then letting it steep with a crocheted cozy on it. He summoned the sugar bowl from the pantry and two plates and some napkins, then sat down to wait for Belle.

It felt good to be home, and back to normal again. It felt even better to finally have some time with his brilliant librarian, whom he was going to propose to as soon as he found the perfect moment.

He turned just as he heard Belle's footsteps in the entrance to the kitchen. "How lovely you look in that dress, dearie."

Belle had on a pretty periwinkle dress that fell in elegant folds to her ankles, with a scalloped bodice and pleats that emphasized her tiny waist. She was wearing comfortable white flats and had left her hair to flow down her back in fiery chestnut waves, bound only by a simple lavender headband with a rosebud on the side. "Thank you, Rumple," she smiled at him. "I'd forgotten I had this one, it was buried under one of my coats, and I thought it looked very comfortable, and I sort of need that after the day we've had."

"I agree, being three years old and in the care of that despot Blue Fairy is enough to make me need an appointment with Archie," Rumple nodded. "It was like being under the thumb of a Nazi officer."

Belle nodded, coming over and hugging him. "Well, at least Emma and Bae have taught her a good lesson, and she can remain a child until somebody turns her back for the time being."

"And I'll tell you one thing, dearie. It'll be a cold day in hell before I do it," Rumple said, gently kissing her neck. He had suffered the most at the hands of Blue, who had deliberately persecuted him for being the Dark One, when he was an innocent little child with no memories of his former life, belittling and punishing him for nothing, and Belle also. The final straw though had been when she had shut Belle's nose in a book as a cruel reminder not to talk during nap time, making her cry, and Rumple had lost his temper and lit the fairy's behind on fire with his magic. It had been a minor spell, and one that she had put out immediately, but she had used it as an excuse to drag him into her office and blister his behind with a ruler, until Bae and Emma had stopped it and administered some justice of their own.

"Good. She needs to learn some restraint and decorum," Belle declared, still angry that the fairy had hurt Rumple that way. "And tolerance and how to treat people."

"Hopefully, Nova and the others can get through her thick skull," Rumple said. "Though I'm not holding my breath. Ah well, what's done is done, and now that we're home, let's relax and have some tea." He kissed her again leisurely, then gestured to the table with the tea service.

"Oh, this looks delicious!" she exclaimed, and sat down and began to pour the tea for them, and put some of the biscotti and prosciutto with cheese and melon on their plates.

Rumple picked up his chipped cup and gently clinked it with Belle's, saying, "Here's to us, and a quiet evening at home."

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Regina locked up her office and then stuck her keys in her purse and climbed into her Mercedes. All she wanted right now was to go home, take a bubble bath, and have a glass of white wine before relaxing in front of the TV watching some mindless reruns of something funny.

She started the car and pulled out of her parking space, turning onto Main Street a moment later.

Page~*~*~*~Break

The Rabbit Hole:

Hook lifted his second glass of rum and toasted himself with it before gulping it down. He had missed this since being stuck in that bloody convent forced to drink milk and eat peanut butter and jelly-vile stuff—and now he could finally have something fit to drink and a rare steak with all the trimmings.

He signaled the server for another round, just as Billy got up to go to the bathroom and Pat took a turn around the floor with a flirty barmaid.

He felt kind of strange suddenly . . . like he was three sheets to the wind . . . and it wasn't like him to get sloshed after only having one shot of rum and a Scotch and soda. Then he shrugged and put it down to the effects of the potion he'd taken, and rested his hands on the table . . . why did it seem so high?

He went to grab his purse to pay for the drinks he'd gotten and it fell, prompting him to scramble off the chair-what the hell, had it grown taller while he'd sat there?—and get it from the floor.

As he was doing so, the server came and plunked down another shot of rum for the three buccaneers and seeing no one there, figured they'd gone to use the men's room.

Hook climbed back up on his stool and reached for his shot, thinking, ah, good rum! 'Tis better than mother's milk!

His hand closed over the glass and he prepared to toss it back when suddenly another patron glanced over at his table and cried, "Oh my God! What the hell's a kid doing in here? Drinking shots? Mike, you're gonna get closed down!"

The bartender gaped at the sight. There was a little boy sitting at Captain Hook's table . . . drinking down a shot of rum! "I . . . didn't see him come in, Jon! Yo, kid! You can't drink that!"

"Yeah, better get him a glass of soda!" roared another drunk patron.

"Or milk!" cried another, giggling.

Hook slammed his glass down on the table. "Aww, knock it off, mates! It's not funny! I was cursed!" he wiped the back of his mouth with his hand. Damn, the back of his throat stung!

He tossed some dollars on the table, which were what his doubloons had changed into after coming to this odd land.

Then he looked about for his crew and didn't see them. Probably having a good old time with Liza Jean and her sister Fluffy upstairs, he thought with a lewd smirk. That being the case, he wasn't about to waste good liquor, and since he'd paid for it . . . he reached over and grabbed Billy's glass.

"Whoa! No more, kid!" yelped the bartender, and he ran around the back of the bar towards Hook's table.

Hook glared at him. "I'm fine, Mikey!" Then he tossed down the shot and reached over the table for the other one.

His arm couldn't reach the glass of amber liquid, and so he crawled onto the table to get it, a goofy smirk on his face. Just then a familiar song began to play on the jukebox. Hook, unaware that he was now a little boy again, and not his manly self, picked up the glass and began to sing along with the music, because he knew this song by heart.

"A pirate's life is a wonderful life,

A roamin' o'er the seas!

Give me a career as a buccaneer

A pirate's life for me!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"

Then he saluted everyone with his glass and drank.

"Aww, no!" Mike groaned. "C'mere, you little imp! I ain't getting my license revoked serving alcohol to minors." He went to grab the child and pick him up.

Hook dodged the bartender's hands and sprang off the table and onto another one filled with drinks. "Leave off, Mike! I'm gonna have me a good old time!" He began dancing a hornpipe and kicking over some empty glasses, which shattered on the floor like grenades.

"Whoa! Little dude, watch it!" bawled a bearded man, who looked like a logger in a ballcap, red plaid flannel, and jeans over at the next table.

Hook reached for a shot glass of gin before the inebriated man at the table could prevent it, and chugged. Then he spun around and gestured with his hook. "Nothin' beats a gin chaser!"

"Man, he ain't even five and already an alkie!" blurted the logger to his companion. "Do they even got rehab for kids?"

Several of the more rowdy patrons began stomping their feet and singing along with the little boy, clapping their hands and hooting.

"C'mere, you little devil!" Mike cried, and then he snagged Hook about the waist and tucked him under his arm.

"Noo! Put me down!" ordered the inebriated toddler, squirming and kicking.

"Nuh uh, Mr. Jones!" chuckled the bartender. "We're gonna go in the back here and you're gonna take a nap while I call Sheriff Swan."

"NO! I ain't takin' no nap!" bellowed Hook, his face turning red. "Where's my crew? Billy! Pat! Ho! I'm being abducted! All hands on deck, damn yer eyes!"

Several men laughed hysterically at the sight of the baby pirate being taken away by the burly bartender.

A beet red Killian tried to use his hook to get free, but Mike would have none of it, and took the sharp implement away and tossed the child over his shoulder, holding him firmly as he made his way towards the back room. "None of that now, mate!"

"Lemme go, you asshole!" the boy struggled like a hooked fish, kicking and swearing.

Until Mike had enough, and gave the obnoxious youngling a firm swat on the behind and ordered, "Behave, kid! You kick me again and I'll warm your butt! And wash out your mouth too! Didn't yore mama teach you not to use those words?"

"Oww!" yelped the little boy, and quickly stopped fighting, realizing it would only get him in trouble.

Mike deposited the little troublemaker onto a small cot and reached for the phone. Wait till Sheriff Swan heard about this!

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Emma and Neal had just arrived at the apartment, and given Henry some money to pay the delivery boy for the pizzas, while Neal went to get changed and Emma used the bathroom, when Emma's phone rang.

"Henry, get that!" she called.

Henry picked up her phone. "Hello, Sheriff Swan's answering service, how may I help you?"

His eyes widened when he heard what was going on. "Hey, sheriff, you're never gonna believe this . . . there's a kid down here tryin' to drink out my whole stock of Captain Morgan! Swear to God!"

"A kid?" Henry repeated.

"Yup! And he's like Captain Hook! You wanna come git him so's he can dry out?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll tell her," Henry said, and then hung up. "Emma! Captain Hook's a kid again and he's at the Rabbit Hole drinking with somebody named Captain Morgan!"

"You gotta be kidding!" Neal gasped. "Henry, is this a joke?" He came into the kitchenette.

"No, Dad. The call just came in and that's what Mike said. Hook and this other guy Morgan were drinking out the bar."

"Hell! Captain Morgan isn't a guy, kiddo, that's rum!" Neal gasped. "Emma! We've got a situation here."

"Neal, can't you pay the darn pizza guy . . ." Emma said, a trifle annoyed as she came out of the bathroom.

"Emma, you gotta go pick up Hook! He's drunk and a kid again!" Henry cried.

"He's what?" Emma looked horrified. "But . . . the potion . . . how could that happen?"

"Maybe it wasn't strong enough?" Neal frowned.

"Aww, crap!" Emma sighed. Then her phone rang again. She took it from her son. "Hello, Sheriff Swan. There's a ten car traffic jam on Main Street . . . and what do you mean there's a little kid driving Regina's Mercedes . . .? Okay, I'm on my way . . . as soon as I stop by and pick up the baby lush down at the Rabbit Hole . . .!" She hung up and stared at her boyfriend. "Uh, Neal, something tells me we're in trouble here. Because I just got a call that Regina's Mercedes hit a doe . . . and she's a little girl again!"

"My mom ran over Bambi?" Henry gasped.

"Uh . . . I guess so," Emma groaned.

"Jesus, Emma!" Neal shook his head. "Maybe I'd better check up on Papa and Belle. They were the last ones to take the potion besides Regina and Hook."

"What about the pizza, Dad?"

"You stay here till it comes, and I'll be right back." He grabbed the keys to his car, then followed Emma outside.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Main Street:

The mayor was driving along calmly, breaking for a traffic light, and thinking about the lovely glass of wine she was going to have when she arrived home, when she suddenly found she couldn't reach the brakes on her car any longer.

"What the hell?" she yelled, and her voice came out shrill and high. Her tiny hands gripped a steering wheel that was suddenly gigantic and the Mercedes kept driving down the road.

A panicked Regina stood up on the seat trying to see over the dashboard . . . and suddenly a brown doe darted out into the middle of the road!

"No! Move, you stupid deer!" she screamed, her eyes wide. She couldn't reach the brakes . . .

. .. and the car slammed into the deer.

Regina was almost strangled by the seatbelt, but it kept her from sailing through the car windshield as the Mercedes plowed to a halt.

"Oh no!" she wailed, tears starting from her eyes.

She wriggled free of the seatbelt, and opened the door.

Behind her, cars were honking and had screeched to a stop and a few people had gotten out of their cars and come over, calling, "Madam Mills, are you okay?"

The tiny girl hopped down to the pavement, her eyes filled with tears, and ignoring the wreckage of her brand new silver Mercedes, ran over to the still form of the deer lying on the street.

She burst into noisy sobs, bawling, "I killed Bambi's mama!"

"That isn't the mayor! It's a little kid!" exclaimed a woman with a green shirt.

"What's a kid doing driving Mayor Mills' car? She could cause an accident!" muttered a man with buck teeth.

"Uh, Seth? That there is an accident!" remarked his companion.

"Oh . . . right . . . but mebbe we could have venison stew iffen she don't want the meat?"

"Shut up, you idjit!" snapped the other man, a blond with a handlebar mustache. He smacked Seth on the back of the head. "Hey, little lady, you okay?"

Regina looked up at the tall man. "You gots to help her, mister! She's hurt bad!"

"Uh . . ." the man began, trying to figure out how to tell the little moppet the deer was dead, when suddenly the doe moved and opened its eyes. "Well, I'll be hornswaggled! It's alive!"

"Yay!" the three-year-old cheered.

"Aww, damn! I really wanted some venison stew!" Seth moaned.

Regina glared at him. "Don't be 'sgusting, you big idiot! You ain't eatin' Bambi's mama, you cannibal!"

"Somebody call the vet! And let the sheriff know there's been an accident!" the mustached hunter called, then he went forward to examine the injured deer, saying, "Err . . .little lady, keep back, that deer can split yore head open iffen she kicks out at you . . ."

Page~*~*~*~Break

While Mike was answering the phone and talking to his delivery service, a drunk Hook scrambled off the cot in the back room and darted out the door and into the bar again.

As the little boy swayed across the floor, one of the patrons saw and whooped, "Holy shit! He's at it again!"

"Somebody better tie this kid's feet to the floor!"

"Jim, gimme your phone, we gotta record this and post it on Facebook! Drunken tot tippler!" cried another man, and took his friend's iPhone.

Hook spotted an unattended drink at the end of the bar and climbed quicker than a cabin boy up the ratlines onto the bar stool and then the bar.

"Better watch that drink, Pete! That kid's slicker than a squirming eel."

"Yeah, hide it or lose it, bub!"

As Hook made his way down the bar, trying to grab people's drinks, a bouncer yelled, "Yo, Mikey! Baby Jones here's tryin' to drink Captain Jack under the table!"

A harried Mike appeared in the doorway. "God! I don't get paid enough for this shit! Drunk ass adults I can handle, drunk ass kids . . . lock me up! Where the hell's Sheriff Swan?"

Just then Emma ran into the bar. "Mike, where's . . . oh, boy!" she cried upon seeing the inebriated little boy staggering across the bar. "Hey, kid, let's go have some ice cream."

She went to grab Killian, and the toddler looked at her and said, "Awright, matey, how's about some Irish crème . . .?" Then he toppled over, passed out cold in her arms.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Gold's Victorian:

Rumple drank his tea and carefully set the chipped cup down on the saucer, slipping a black box inside it, before eyeing Belle appreciatively and murmuring, "You know what else I've missed today, sweetheart?"

"What, Rumple?" she queried sassily, her blue eyes glowing.

"Giving you more than one of these," he replied, then he took her in his arms and kissed her deeply.

Belle felt a jolt of passion run up her spine and she wrapped her arms about Rumple and kissed him back, showing him without words just how much she had missed this . . .when something happened.

Rumple was enjoying the feel of Belle in his arms and her sweet lips on his, tasting the mixture of melon and chamomile, when he felt an odd sensation race through him . . . and then he was hugging a three-year-old Belle and her mouth was pressed against his.

Startled, he drew back, frowning.

Belle wrinkled her nose at him. "Uh . . . Rumple . . . what are we doing?"

"Uh . . . kissing?"

"Why?" she asked, frowning.

He shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe we were playin' house?"

Belle looked around. "Rumple . . . where's the grown-ups?"

He stared about him. "Maybe they're in another room?"

The two ran into the living room, looking around, but finding it empty of anyone. The big screen TV was off, and there was a recliner with a book called Cleopatra Queen of Kings on it. "Hello?" Rumple called. "Is anybody here?"

But no one answered them.

Alarmed, Belle said, "Maybe they're upstairs sleepin'?" She began to climb the long stairs up to the second floor.

Rumple ran and stood on tiptoe and pulled open the basement door. But it was dark and scary down there and he was afraid. "Hey!" he yelled. But nobody answered.

Frightened, he closed the door and scurried up the stairs as best he could, pausing every third step because he forgotten his cane and his leg hurt. "Belle! Belle! Are you there?"

"I'm here, Rumple!" she yelled, running back down the hall. "But . . . we're all alone! There's nobody here!"

"Nobody?" he whimpered, his eyes huge. He sat down on the step with a thump. "We're . . . home alone?"

"Well . . . there's nobody here, 'cept us," Belle said, and she jumped down the stairs and took his hand. "Where's your cane?"

He looked sheepish. "Umm . . . down there," he pointed to the bottom of the staircase. "I was lookin' in the basement for Bae and Emma. But it was dark n'scary. I think . . . there's monsters." He swallowed hard.

She nodded. "Yeah. Monsters always hide in the basement. That's why you're not supposed to go down there."

"I'm not!" he shivered. "Where'd they go?"

Belle shook her head. "Maybe they went to the market?"

"An' they . . . left us alone?" Rumple sniffled. He began to slide down the stairs on his bottom until he reached the floor. Then he grabbed his cane and stood up. "Belle . . . I'm scared. We're not supposed to be alone."

She jumped down the stairs and took his hand. "I know! Maybe you could call Bae up. On the phone!"

"Where is it?" he asked.

"I think you left it on the table," she replied, and then they went back into the kitchen and Belle climbed on the table and found Rumple's cell.

She handed it to him. "Here! Now you can see where Bae is."

Rumple took the cell phone and stared at it. Then he opened it up and looked at the screen. "Umm . . . Belle? I forgot the number."

"You did? But . . . I don't know it either!"

Rumple's lower lip trembled. "Then how we gonna call him?"

"I don't know," Belle said nervously.

"Maybe . . . maybe he left me here . . ." the little boy whimpered. "Like my papa . . . because he . . . didn't want me no more. Papa always said . . . he said I was nothing but a troublemakin' little louse that cost him more money than I was worth. . ."

"But Rumple . . . Bae isn't like that! He saved you from the Blue Butt Muncher!" Belle objected.

Rumple sniffled. "I know, but . . . then why are we here all alone? Maybe Bae got sick and tired of me . . ." Tears welled in his eyes and he started to cry softly.

Belle came and hugged him. "Don't cry . . . they'll be back soon . . ."

But minutes ticked by and no one came. The house was big and they kept hearing some weird noises and creaking sounds. Rumple was falling apart on Belle's shoulder, his brain overloaded with terrible images of being abandoned again.

Belle tried to be brave but she started to get scared also and began to cry too.

She clung to Rumple and they both bawled for a few moments, until Rumple realized he was upsetting Belle and he gulped hard and choked back the tears, saying, "M'sorry, Belle. M'sorry, I'm such a crybaby."

Belle wiped her eyes and patted Rumple on the back. "S'okay. If you're a crybaby, so am I."

He shook his head, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "No. You're brave."

"You too," she insisted. "You burnt that meanie Blue's butt when she shut my nose in a book. That was real brave."

He preened a little at her words. Then he took her hand. "C'mon. Maybe they got lost and we need to go find 'em." He tucked the phone in his pants pocket.

"Yeah. Let's go look! We can go on a quest!"

"Like Merlin!" Rumple cheered, and then he limped towards the door.

It took him three tries to turn the doorknob hard enough to open the door, and then he and Belle walked out of the house and stood in the driveway, looking up and down the street.

Just as they were about to head down the sidewalk, a black Sonata pulled into the driveway.

Neal quickly parked and jumped out, calling, "Hey, where are you two going?" Dammit, they're back to being three-year-olds again too!

"Bae! You came back!" Rumple yelled, then he limped as quickly as he could over to the older man and grabbed him about the knees.

"Hey, little buddy! What were you doing outside?" Neal asked, kneeling and hugging his father.

Rumple threw his arms around Neal's neck and clung to him. "We . . . were lookin' for you and Emma, Bae. I . . . I thought you . . . left us alone. Why'd you do that, Bae? Was it 'cause . . . you didn't want us no more?"

Neal hugged the little boy hard, his heart breaking for the uncertainty and fear he heard in the little voice. "No, Rumple, of course not! I love you, buddy. You and Belle both."

"Then why'd you leave us alone, Bae?" asked Belle, coming up and hugging him also.

"Uh . . . Emma had to go out on a call and I needed to pick up Henry," he improvised. "I'm sorry I was late coming back here. Were you okay?"

"Well . . . I got scared . . . a little," Rumple admitted. "But Belle and I was playin' house, so it was okay."

"Yeah, it was fun . . . I like playin' house with Rumple," Belle said, grinning.

"You . . . do?" Neal nearly choked, because he was afraid he knew exactly what they'd been doing before they'd become little again. Oh, Lord. What if . . . they were doing the horizontal mambo before . . . "Err . . . guys, just what were you doing before you found out you were home alone?"

Rumple sighed. "Bae, I just told you. We were playin' house."

"You know . . . like when you pretend you're grown-ups, and I was the mama and Rumple was the papa," Belle explained patiently, because Bae had a funny look on his face.

Rumple was afraid they had done something wrong, and said nervously, "Umm . . . you know . . . we were . . . kissing . . . is that bad? That's what you do when you play house . . . the mama and papa kiss each other . . ."

Belle nodded. "Uh huh. We're not gonna get cooties are we, Bae?"

"C-Cooties?" Neal had to bite his lip to keep from busting out laughing.

"That's what a girl I knew used to say happened when you kissed a boy."

"Are we in trouble?" Rumple asked, alarmed. "You're not gonna . . . spank me, are you?"

"What? No . . . no, of course not!" Bae reassured him. "You're not bad, Rumple. And Belle, you can't get cooties from kissing boys. Trust me." His mouth twitched.

Belle sighed in relief. "Good! Cause I like playing house with Rumple!"

"Me too!" Rumple stated. "I'm gonna marry Belle when I'm big."

Neal's jaw almost hit the ground. "Whoa! Hey, buddy, you got a ways to go before then . . . so . . . no playing house again, okay?" he stammered, thinking this would be all he needed, two toddlers making out in the backseat!

"Why?" the two whined in tandem.

"Err . . ." Neal groped for an answered.

"We wanna play house!" Rumple scowled, his little chin sticking out defiantly.

Belle nodded firmly. "Yeah! It's no fair!" She stamped her foot.

"Why can't we play house if it's not bad?" Rumple demanded, banging his cane on the ground.

"Yeah?" Belle pouted. "We wanna play house! It's fun!"

"So there!" Rumple said stubbornly. "When we get big, we're gonna get married and have a bunch of kids and play house all the time and nobody's gonna tell us not to!"

"Hey! You can play house . . . just not . . . right now," Neal amended, trying not to crack up. This was the craziest conversation he'd ever had. His three-and-a-half year old father and his three-year-old girlfriend were having a conniption about playing house together, Emma had to go get a drunk toddler Hook from a bar, and baby Regina was causing a car accident and running over Bambi. I think I'm gonna have a breakdown, God help me!

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna lock up the house and then we're gonna go back home and have a sleepover. Henry ordered pizza and we can watch a movie and stuff. How's that sound?"

"Cool! Can we eat popcorn?" Rumple asked.

"Sure!"

"Can we read the Once Upon a Time book?" Belle wanted to know.

"Yeah, we'll read that tonight," Neal assured them. "Now let me call Emma and see what's going on, and then we'll get you guys in the car and go home."

"Yay! Slumber party!" cheered Rumple, and he gave Neal the most adorable smile. A pillow and a teddy bear appeared in his little hands. "Here, Belle!" he waved a hand again, and a second pillow and a princess rag doll appeared in her hands.

Neal couldn't help but smile back, as he dug out his cell and dialed Emma. I've got to be crazy. I don't even know how to be a dad to an eleven year old, much less two toddlers.