Hey all, so this chapter is kind of a filler. I wanted to develop Shikamaru's and Kai's relationship, give you some progress. Also I want to get a little deeper into Kai's past.

So, I don't have a lot of notes this time.

WARNING in this chapter, there is a graphic, very VERY violent murder scene and you are going to see a very STRESS ON THE VERY, dark side of Kai. Be prepared please. (I just wanted to stress this matter so you're not like "holy hell, this suddenly turned for the worst." I promise there is a point to this madness.)

Enjoy (:

"Are you serious? I get to go outside? Really!" I practically jump out of my own skin due to the amount of excitement I am feeling.

"Of course you'll have Kabuto with you the entire time. Just for two days, you're needed to complete an assignment for me." Orochimaru says in an even tone, watching me with a blank stare.

I compose myself slightly, holding in my excitement, "Yes sir, what is the assignment?" I ask.

"You are to retrieve a young lady from a small village south of the star village. I want her here in two days time, healthy and unharmed."

My excitement quickly dies; the thought of being the reason that another would have to live under rule of Orochimaru makes me feel sick, it makes me hate myself even before doing so. My eyes drop to the ground, my entire outer appearance becoming somber.

Orochimaru senses my distress as he looks me up and down, "Don't look so troubled my dear Kaiko, you'll actually be doing the girl a favor. Really, her father is terrible to her, maybe if you behave I'll even assign you to watch over her. How's that sound my dear?"

I avoid eye contact but I nod in approval, "Yes sir."

"Really Kaiko-chan, you should feel privileged, I have raised you as though you were my own, even given you your own separate room away from the other subjects. Why, I'd go as far as to say you are like my own daughter. You should cheer up a bit, I've given you more than you've realized." Orochimaru says, a hint of amusement in his voice, "Look at me." his voice is colder when he says this and so I do, knowing he is serious. "Watch your attitude around me child and stop taking what I give you for granted."

"Yes sir, I apologize for my bad behavior, I will be better, I promise." I say quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. It is an automatic response, answering with the same line I have always used when getting 'lectured'.

My body jolts a little, feeling as though I have fallen off a cliff. I turn in bed, briefly becoming aware of my actual surroundings. I am in Shikamaru's parent's house guest bedroom. I feel as I drift slowly back into a heavy sleep.

Red, all I can see is red. I am holding a knife, a kitchen knife and it still slightly smells like onions. Onions mixed with the iron smell that blood gives off; it is not a pleasant smell. A man is dead next to me, though he wasn't killed from the knife. He has no stab wounds. His skull is caved in on the top left. That is when I hear her scream. Her. The very her I am here to bring back; alive and healthy. I look at her and I can't fight the terrible thoughts I think, she looks pathetic and frail. How the hell am I to bring her back healthy; I'd be damned if the girl has been healthy at all in the last two years. She looks about 60 to 80 pounds, bruised and cut. She has a large ugly scare going from her cheek, just below her eye down to her collar bone. And damn her screaming, it hurts my ears and I just want to shut her up. I hate her and I don't know why. I don't know her but I despise her. She is weak and her voice scares me. What is the point of her life?

Kabuto told me about her. She killed her mother, he said that the girl snapped one night and killed her. Her mother didn't deserve it, she was a kind woman and was only trying to protect her daughter. This girl killed her for some unknown reason. Afterwords, her father started to beat her and treat her like trash. He was disgusting too, before I killed him. Lying there silent in his own blood suits him. I smile up towards the girl and in a feeble attempt to run away she backs up all to quickly and falls to the ground. Next to her is another man, I think he may have been a friend or an uncle.

I now realize this is where the knife comes into play. I must have stabbed him, a few times too. Maybe 20 or 30 times at most. The entire incident is fuzzy to me. We came into the village and went straight to this house, Kabuto and I ran into trouble though, a few guards spotted us and attacked us. Kabuto said he would hold them off and told me to go get the girl. Next thing I know, the world is spinning, my vision fading in and out as I bash some mans head into a kitchen counter. I am a monster. The phrase runs through my mind as I continue to kill this man. A laugh escapes my mouth, and before I know it the sound wont stop. I finally stop once I hear another man cry out "Endso!" he cries out, "What have you done you psycho!" he lunges at me with a knife that was set on the counter next to a bunch of chopped vegetables. I quickly disarm him, breaking his right arm as I twist it behind his back. He cries out in pain but before the sound is even done with I reach around him and stab him in the heart. I kick his spazzing body to the side angrily, the continued movement irking me. I fall to my knees with a thud and continually stab into his chest.

After remembering this I look back to the trembling girl. I know my orders, they are to take this girl alive, but as I watch her frightened face I feel a sick need swell into my chest. What this girl has done makes me forget to care about myself. The way she tried to scatter away makes me feel like a predator, inching its way towards its injured prey simply to torture its mind. Her utter concern for nothing but herself brings a scowl to my face. Fuck the objective, I want to kill her; wrong, I need to kill her. Allowing her to grow up will only allow her to grow darker, sicker. She lacks the ability to care for others. I am sure this is part of the reason Orochimaru finds value in her. I smile to myself, this is the perfect way to show my absolute disloyalty to him, and in all honesty I feel as though I am saving this girl, from him and herself.

Decision made stand up before leaning down and grabbing the front of the dress that she is wearing. I bring her to the wall with a forceful shove, with my right hand I start to strangle her. Her eyes widen in terror and a rush of excitement flows through my entire being. I push into her jugular harder, pushing her higher onto the wall. I watch as her eyes slowly start to slide shut, a sense of relief starting to wash over me. I am a monster. I am a monster. I am a monster and it feels right. I never want this feeling to end. I am in control. I am a monster but it is okay, this way I am free. However, before her eyes can completely shut I am ripped away from her. I see her fall to the floor, holding her throat and gasping for air.

I start to panic, she is alive and I feel a sense of dread replace my previous excitement. All I can think to do is scream. I scream as loud as I can, without my permission my arms and legs start to flail in attempt to escape. I look behind my back quickly to see Kabuto restraining me. Anger fills me, swelling inside my chest, I scream louder, "LET ME GO, LET ME KILL HER. I NEED TO KILL HER." His hold on me only gets stronger, hurting me more. I am certain that I will be black and blue every where he is touching but I cannot find it in myself to care. Quickly my screaming becomes unintelligent sounding and desperate,"KILL HER! KILL! KILL! KILL! LET ME KILL! .KILL!" I slip from his grasps a little.

Kabuto grabs my face, covering my mouth in order to muffle my screams. He holds me with one leg, one hand harshly placed over my mouth. I feel a needle jab into my neck and quickly my vision blurs, my body slumps heavily against Kabuto's and the world fades to black.

I must have been screaming in my sleep, for when I wake all three of the other people in the house are at my bedside, trying to shake me awake. I practically fly up in panic, almost knocking Shikaku to the floor. I gasp for air for a few seconds before attempting to regain normal breathing. I feel wet and warm, I must be sweating. So disgusting, I can feel it slowly drip down my forehead. Quickly though all these little things don't matter as the rush of emotions slam into me with more force than ever before. I let out a loud shaky sob, my hands slap over my mouth struggling to muffle the helpless flow of sobs and tears flooding out. I shake my head, stuttering as I try to talk, "I am...so...sorry." I eventually get out.

Embarrassed, I bring my knees up and stick my face in between, waiting out my cries; refusing to lift my head until they slow. When I finally look up, I see Shikamaru nod to his parents, they nod back, pat me on the shoulder sympathetically before exiting the room. As soon as the door closes Shikamaru is sitting on the bed next to my leg; his gaze boring into my eyes, concern apparent on his features.

"I'm fine, it was just a nightmare." I lie, I am not fine. That memory will haunt me forever, I am sure of it. However, I do not want to drag Shikamaru into this; I don't want him to know this part of me, I don't want him to know that somewhere deep inside I am a monster. I don't want him to hate me.

"Don't you dare lie to me Kaiko, this," he gestures to me, more than likely towards the state I am in, "all of this is not fine. This is the second time I have caught you in the middle of a 'nightmare' and that screaming was definitely not okay. Heaven sakes Kaiko, I thought you were getting murdered."

"I...I'm sorry..." I stutter out, looking away from him and towards the floor.

He sighs, "Don't apologize for something you couldn't help." He says in a quieter tone and startles me by pulling me into a hug. My eyes widen and my heart jumps. This is the first time that I have actually hugged Shikamaru, he is warm and comfortable. I want to stay here forever.

As quickly as the hug happened it is over, he pulls away and looks away from me. Though, he sets his hand down close to mine, not touching it though; he stares at the floor boards as though they had suddenly become a game of shogi. He looks concentrated.

"You need to talk to someone about these nightmares." He says softly.

I nod, I know he is right, "I will." I say, my tone just as soft, "I promise I will."

"I'm always here, I'll listen." He offers, finally looking up at me again.

I smile weakly at him, "I'm not ready to tell you these things Shikamaru..." I trail off, "But thank you, I might tell you eventually." I finish.

He nods, "Who will you talk to then, Ino?"

"No, I want to talk to someone I'm not attached to. Are there psychologist here?" I ask timidly.

"Yeah there are, you'll just have to set up an appointment. I'd go ask Tsunade to help you, I'm sure she will send you to the best one we have."

"Thank you."

He simply nods. He gets up to leave and quickly I grab his wrist to stop him.

"Will you stay, at least until I fall asleep?" I ask, my voice is timid and barely above a whisper; a small blush forming on my cheeks.

He observes me for a few seconds before nodding. He kicks off this slippers and crawls behind me, lying down next to me above the covers. I smile, my mood slightly lightened by his modesty. He lets one arm lazily droop around my waist, not pulling me closer but just softly letting his arm rest against me. I close my eyes and snuggle deeper into my pillow, reveling in the feel of Shikamaru's strong holding me over the covers. I slowly relax and the need to sleep starts to come back to me.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"You're welcome, Kai." He whispers back.

"Goodnight Nara."

"Goodnight."

Okay, so pretty short chapter but I figured I owed you lovely readers an update.

Whoa, honestly, even I didn't expect that nightmare/flashback scene to be that dark, but it just happened and I refuse to change it because it works so damn well with my plot.

I hope I gave you a good read about some of Kaiko's past and some development between her and Shika.

Reviews are always welcomed! (No seriously, they are like better than Christmas presents to me, I absolutely love hearing your thoughts about my writing.)