A/N. So I was informed that my ending was cruel. And due to several reviews and several IRL friends I wrote this "closure". This was written in several fits and starts-so hopefully it flows fairly well. I may one day come back and fix it.

Hopefully the jumps in POV don't mess with the story line. :D

Anyways thanks to all my readers and yada-yada.

The cell was empty and Arthur rushed to the door only to be stopped by a chain on his leg. He could have sworn it hadn't been there before. Arthur turned back to pull at the chain and he saw movement in the corner of his eye.

It was Merlin. Huddled in the corner Arthur could hear him mumbling softly to himself.

"It's all gone. Gone. Gone. Gone."

"Merlin!" Arthur called out but there was no reaction from the other man. He reached out to grasp Merlin's arm and the man flinched and jerked back violently.

"No….no…Please." Merlin protested and refused to look right at Arthur.

Arthur grabbed Merlin's shoulders and shook him slightly, "Merlin, it's me. Arthur."

Panicked, Merlin tried to push Arthur away and when it proved futile, his eyes glowed gold.

And then Arthur woke up.

Arthur watched the moonlight play over his city. He and Merlin had been back for a week and Arthur had yet to sleep through the night without a nightmare. It never was the same; some nights it was Arthur himself who hurt Merlin, other nights Merlin saved his life with magic and then was gravely injured, Arthur going on a rescue and finding Merlin unable to recognize him. A few things were constant, Merlin having magic and Merlin getting injured. Then Arthur waking up with conflicting emotions; hate for a sorcerer, worry for a friend, and guilt — overwhelming guilt. Because Arthur knew what had really happened.

The sun was rising and Arthur realized he had spent the better part of the night awake. He sighed, just like every night.

Merlin knew he was awake before dawn, but he wasn't sure how he knew. It was still dark and he couldn't hear anything. But he could feel his magic. He reveled in the feeling, the power that was slowly trickling back and growing. He lay there thinking about the week…at least he thought it had been a week. He didn't remember much after he had, finally…devastatingly lost his sight and hearing. The first clear memory he had was an old frail hand cupping his cheek. When he had asked if it was Gaius, Merlin's hand had been lifted up to feel Gaius nod his head. He knew he had cried again.

He spent several days drifting in and out of the waking world. Helped by Gaius's potions when the memories became too much.

It had been really bad when the knights had come to visit at first. He didn't know who was approaching or that they even were approaching. And so when a heavy and callused hand had gripped Merlin's arm for the first time since he had woken fully, it caused panic. Merlin screamed without hearing his own voice and pushed away, scrambling away from the warm body. Begging for them to just let him be. They had held him down, he didn't know who and he didn't care, all Merlin knew was he was back in that room unable to stop these men as they did what they wanted. They forced him to swallow a potion, clamping a hand over his mouth and nose to force him to swallow or suffocate. Merlin fell asleep after that.

Now when someone came to visit him Gaius would gently take his hand and place it in the visitor's. He learned to tell who it was by the feel of their face, after a few visits he knew just by the feel of their hand. Gwaine's long hair and Percival's huge hand that dwarfed his own, Gwen's dainty hand, Leon's beard, and Elyan always smelled like the forge-so Merlin didn't need to feel him. Merlin would say their name and when he received confirmation he was right they would sit together for a while. He didn't know if Arthur ever came, and if he did Merlin never had his hand guided to him.

Gwaine came nearly every day that Merlin was awake. Merlin truly enjoyed those visits, he knew Gwaine spoke to him the entire time. Gwaine had taken Merlin's hands and placed them on his own chest, letting Merlin feel the rumble of his voice as he spoke. Merlin imagined Gwaine was telling him tavern stories and it made the day easier.

It was Gwen who had helped with the biggest break-through. She had come in, on what Merlin thought was the fourth day. She was sitting with him as he lay in the bed just holding his hand and idly drawing patterns on it.

"Gwen, can you write?" Merlin asked suddenly, he missed hearing his own voice and so kept quiet, not knowing if it was too loud or soft. He felt the nod of her head.

"Write something on my hand?" Merlin asked, and felt her flip his hand over and Gwen began tracing the shapes of letters in his palm.

It took some experimenting, they found it worked best if they used Merlin's right finger to trace on his left hand. It quickly became obvious that capitals were better than smaller letters and Merlin really could follow nearly an entire sentence, if it was traced slowly enough. It made the next days go smoother. Percival would write single words, something he was thinking about or saw on his way to the room. Gwen chattered just as much and soon she was sending messages rapidly across his palm. Gwaine was ecstatic about the idea, if the smile he let Merlin feel meant anything, but he hardly used it—sticking to his hand-on-chest method. When Merlin asked why Gwaine had written one word, LAZY.

Now it has been seven days and Merlin has yet to talk to Arthur. He grimaces and sits up, its time he spoke to his king.

There was a sharp knock on the door and it was opened before Arthur had the chance to give permission to enter. Arthur attempts to smile at his longtime friend but it falls flat when he sees the serious expression on Leon's face.

"Sire, I feel as though I should..." Leon stops suddenly and Arthur watches as Leon seems to struggle with himself and finally comes to a conclusion. "The shackles that Merlin was wearing, did you recognize them?"

Arthur stiffens, of course Leon would recognize the shackles, and the man had grown up in Camelot and knew of the sorcerers executions and why someone would need those shackles. "Yes, I recognized them. They restrain a person's magic."

Arthur ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know what to do, Leon. Merlin has magic. I watched him save me from a rock-fall. Then the idiot got hit by a loose stone and was knocked unconscious, we were on our way back to Camelot when the bandits attacked. And I just handed Merlin over to them Leon."

Arthur tugged at his hair, breathing hard. "I handed him over and watched him fade. I knew something was wrong but I did nothing. I should have stopped them. Instead I just pushed him away." Arthur knew something was wrong he should be yelling, instead he just sounded tired so very, very tired.

"Who else knows?"

"Gwen probably suspects. Gaius most definitely, and I think that is all." Leon's voice was quieter, "I know you are trying to decide what to do sire. But before you make a decision, talk to Merlin. He's been asking for you."

Arthur stared out the window waiting for Leon to leave, when it became clear he was still there Arthur turned back.

"Was there something else?" Arthur knew his tone was sharp, he just wanted things to go back to how they were, before he knew about Merlin's magic or his friend was hurt.

"I know it isn't my place to say, but I trust Merlin, magic or not. And right now Merlin is hurt and is your friend, not a sorcerer." Leon bowed and left, leaving Arthur alone with thoughts he would rather not face.

"I miss the sun." Arthur stopped outside the physician's chambers, Merlin's voice was loud and oddly flat—lacking his usual enthusiasm. "Can you help me outside, Percival?"

"Will that be alright Gaius?" Arthur hesitated wanting to see his friend but not wanting to interrupt.

"He's healing well, it shouldn't be a problem. Just bring him back when he gets tired." Gaius answered.

Arthur decided that it wasn't right for the prince to hover in the halls and to get in the room.

"Arthur." Percival looked up from where he was helping Merlin to stand, Merlin's hand resting on his own. "We're just about to go outside, care to join us?"

"I think I will, just don't tell Merlin I'm here." Arthur ignored Gaius's obvious disapproval of his avoidance and Percival's frown. It wasn't the first time Arthur had been a silent participant in Merlin's life the past week.

Arthur followed the two men out, Merlin's slow and careful movements so at odds to his usual hurried and clumsy gait.

Percival settled Merlin on the hill just outside the castle wall and settled Merlin's hand on his own.

"Do you always keep hold of him?" Arthur couldn't help but ask. He had noticed on his prior visits that someone was always touching Merlin, even it was as simple as a hand on his leg.

"Yes, he doesn't know if we are here otherwise. It's been hard for him, but Merlin never lets anything bring him down for too long." Percival looked off into the distance and they fell into an uneasy silence.

Merlin looked happier than before, with his face turned toward the sun.

"What happened?" Percival asks suddenly, and before Arthur could ask what he meant, Percival raised a hand. "I don't mean about physically, I can see he was treated brutally. What happened between you two? Before you wouldn't have thought twice about sitting with him, because you're friends; and now you hardly can stand to be in the same room as him."

"Merlin's not the man I thought he was." Arthur looked away from Percival's accusing look.

"I thought you were a better man than that, Arthur! Did he say something while being tortured? Can you blame him if he did?" Arthur wasn't sure how to feel about Percival's frank bluntness, it was both a relief and unwanted at the same time.

"He didn't tell them anything. It is something Merlin said to me alone." Arthur was standing now, and he wondered when he did that.

"Well, I hope you let him tell you everything before you decided it would be best to ignore him." Arthur stormed off at that. Arthur was not willing to admit that, no, he hadn't listened or waited for an explanation. He only knew Merlin was a sorcerer and he couldn't help but feel guilty and he felt so confused.

When Merlin woke it was still dark, but that wasn't what got his attention—he didn't know who was holding him.

Somewhere in his mind Merlin knew he was safe. But his magic, so long absent rushed to his aid and Merlin fought the hands holding him. Distantly he realized he was begging and then Gaius was there, he drank the potion greedily and slept.

For a brief second when Merlin woke he thought it was lighter, he turned his head and it seemed he could see the flicker of the candle. Merlin put it down to his imagination and called for Gaius. His mentor was there almost instantly.

"Who was that earlier?" Merlin waited for the answer and could tell Gaius was hesitating. "Please tell me, I…I think I attacked them with my magic."

Gaius guided his hands to spell: ART- and Merlin knew who it was before he finished.

Arthur, he attacked Arthur.

"Was he hurt?" Merlin needed to know.

NO, Merlin breathed easier and turned away from Gaius, tugging his hands away-his new way of announcing he didn't want to talk.

He attacked Arthur, when he had promised he wouldn't. When he promised he only used it for good.

Maybe he really was a monster.

Merlin was sure he could see the candle that Gwen held. Quietly-well he hoped it was quiet, asked her to move the candle. He felt her jump slightly—maybe he hadn't been as quiet as he thought, and then her arm moved. He could see the flicker move around. Then Gwen was writing into his hand, WAIT. And then Gaius was there, moving his head and gently touching at his eyes. Merlin tracked the flicker of light as it got closer and then moved from left to right.

WHAT DO YOU SEE

"Flickers, a flicker of light in the dark. It isn't strong but it's there. Does this mean I'm getting better Gaius?"

WE CAN HOPE

So they hoped. As the second week went by Merlin could see more and more. It started with light, then vague objects. Everyone was so excited and often stopped by to help him move around as he saw more. Everyone but Arthur, he hadn't been back since Merlin had attacked him with magic.

Merlin felt himself retreating into himself, as he became more independent in his movements. Trying to separate himself from those he would hurt. His magic was dangerous, Arthur was right-Uther was right. He was a monster.

Nothing Gaius wrote to him, both on his hand or on parchment could convince him otherwise. Merlin was a danger and as soon as his hearing was back, if his hearing came back, he would leave. Let his friends live their lives safe from him, show Arthur that he wouldn't hurt him.

Arthur was sure he would never forget Merlin's face, the panic that had crossed his features and fear in his eyes when he woke up—just before they turned gold. It was like Arthur's nightmares had come to life, Merlin not recognizing him and then Merlin's magic reacting. Merlin had attacked him with magic, nothing major, it had just shoved him back. And after Gaius had taken care of Merlin, he had explained the reaction, and the fear that fueled it. The nightmares of being back in the room and unable to get out.

He decided he would avoid Merlin. Merlin would be safe if Arthur stayed away. At least until he figured out what he was feeling and how he would deal with Merlin. He didn't deserve the loyalty and friendship that Merlin had offered, and seemed to be still offering. Not after he had played such a big part in making Merlin the way he was now.

Gwen took him walking one morning. Merlin's sight was nearly back, faces were still blurry but he could get around. He let Gwen guide him and soon he realized they were nearing the training field.

"No, Gwen. I don't want to see him." Arthur had yet to come visit him as his sight returned, not even to ask about his magic.

THEN DON'T LOOK AT HIM, WATCH YOUR FRIENDS

Merlin huffed, "Fine." Merlin might have protested seeing Arthur but he couldn't help but watch him train. Arthur was training one of the newer knights, actually it no longer looked like training; more like a beating. Merlin watched as Gwaine loped over and spoke to the pair, clapped a hand on the newer knights back before squaring off against Arthur.

Merlin watched them spar, neither one was pulling their blows. The fight ended in a draw and the two began walking over.

ARTHUR'S UPSET AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY Gwen spelled out. Merlin grimaced, he knew why.

Arthur was talking and Gwen was writing some of what he said down on the scrap of parchment she had.

"Good to see you getting better, Merlin. Someone is needed to clean my chambers." Merlin gave a tight smile and nodded, "Of course, sire." Arthur clapped him on the back and turned back to train. As Merlin and Gwen left, Merlin thought he could hear the sound of swords clanging together.

Arthur attacked the training dummy. He poured his anger into his attacks. Arthur had spent three weeks thinking about Merlin. Merlin with magic. Arthur was starting to remember countless battles where Merlin would disappear, along with the threat. Magic had saved Arthur in the cave long ago, magic wasn't evil. Not when Merlin had it.

Right side. Magic is evil.

Left side. Magic saved you.

Shield. He betrayed you.

Head. You betrayed him.

That's what it came down to, not the magic—Arthur could see it was good and had been thinking that way for years. What bothered Arthur most was the lies. How long had Merlin been hiding in plain sight? Why should Arthur not find out until his life was danger? Why had Merlin come to Camelot in the first place? Had he come to kill Arthur and then changed his mind?

Arthur finally stopped swinging, the practice dummy in tatters. It had helped get the anger out of his system. Arthur glanced around, surprised to see the sun had set already. He needed to talk to Merlin but it was too late now.

Merlin doesn't look scared. Not even when he is tied to the stake.

Merlin doesn't look scared as Arthur approaches with the torch.

Merlin doesn't look scared as Arthur pronounces him guilty of sorcery. Merlin isn't scared but Arthur is. Arthur tries to stop his hand, tries to stop the flames as they light the pyre.

"Only for you Arthur, I used it only for you." Merlin speaks as the wood catches fire.

Merlin doesn't even look scared as he screams.

Arthur wakes up crying.

The nightmares are getting worse. More personal and Arthur knows he has to speak with Merlin. Arthur gets up; there is no point in lying in bed when he knows he won't be able to sleep again.

Arthur looks out into the courtyard. Hoping to distract himself from the dark thoughts, he watches the courtyard and a movement by the stables catches his eye. Someone is preparing a horse, the moon reappears and the light revealed the person.

Black hair and red neckerchief. Merlin.

Arthur rushed out of his room, ignoring the guards he passed on the way.

"Merlin!" Arthur was surprised when Merlin turned around, then he remembered Gwen had mentioned Merlin's hearing was improving.

"Arthur?" Merlin looked confused, stopping in the middle of fixing a strap on the saddle. "What are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Arthur stopped several paces away from Merlin, hoping that Merlin wouldn't be frightened off.

Merlin seemed oddly closed off as he viewed the distance between them. "I'm leaving."

"What?! Why?" Merlin had just gotten better, his sight was almost completely back and his hearing was coming back.

"I'm not welcome here anymore." Merlin turned back to the horse.

"What?" Arthur thought quickly—who would have told Merlin that? "Who said that?"

"You did, sire." Arthur recoiled from Merlin's cold tone. "Maybe not exactly in those words but I got the message."

"Merlin…" Arthur whispered. How had his plan to talk to Merlin gone so wrong and so quickly?

"Don't sire. Since we've returned you have avoided me." Merlin gestured to the distance between them, and suddenly Arthur understood how that could be taken as disgust rather than a comfort. "And I seem to remember something you said before I lost my hearing," Merlin's voice was mocking as he imitated Arthur's angry snarl, "' I don't need protection from a sorcerer!' And then you pushed me away. So I'm leaving before you decide I'm well enough to banish or evil enough to burn."

Arthur can't find anything coherent enough to say, but it doesn't matter because Merlin is still talking. Arthur watches as Merlin's eyes flash gold as his voice got louder.

"I've always protected you with my life. And I have always stood by your side. Then the one time I needed you to be by my side, what did you do? You handed me over on a silver platter. I had hoped that the day you found out about me and who-I am you would be willing to listen. I guess I was wrong."

Arthur watches as sparks seem to fly off Merlin's hands. Merlin sees Arthur's glance and visibly calms down, his hands clenching into fists and the sparks die off.

"Merlin, I'm not going to kill you." Arthur takes a step forward, but at his statement Merlin seemed to tense up.

With a terse nod he turns back to the horse. "Banishment then. I'll be leaving then, sire."

"No, Merlin. I meant I want you to stay. I…" Arthur swallowed hard, it had taken him three weeks to realize it for himself but he needed Merlin around. With or without magic. "I don't care about the magic. I made a mistake and I want to say I'm sorry. I thought you would hate me and so I have been avoiding you. I see I was right. I don't want you to leave Camelot, but if you stay you don't have to remain my manservant. But, please say you will stay?"

Merlin refused to turn around. He had made his decision. He would leave Camelot to protect Arthur. Merlin knew that it was counter-productive, he needed to be in Camelot to do that best.

He took a deep breath, Arthur was still waiting for an answer. Merlin knew he was broken, that the easy trust between them had been shattered when his magic had been revealed and then it had been further crushed when Arthur had handed him over to the bandits. But now they had no secrets between them.

Maybe it could work. Merlin would still have a lot of healing to do both inside and outside but he could do it with Arthur. With his destiny.

"Alright." Merlin spoke quietly, well it sounded quiet—his hearing still wasn't all back yet. "But understand it will take a long time to get back to a version of normal." Merlin turned back to look at Arthur.

"I understand, we both hurt each other. I am very sorry Merlin. Do you think you can ever forgive me?" Arthur looked so broken, and Merlin knew how hard it was for his prince to say those words. To beat back his pride and ask for forgiveness.

"Of course, Arthur. Can you forgive me? For lying about being magic and saving you with it?" Merlin watched the ground not daring to look at Arthur.

"Saving me? You?" But there was no heat to Arthur's words, and Merlin recognized it as an attempt to establish the old banter.

"Oh you'd be surprised, sire, at what I've done for you." Merlin could feel himself healing, Arthur didn't hate him. Arthur didn't care about the magic. Merlin felt almost giddy he was so happy.

"I doubt that. Now put that horse away and get to bed. I'll give you a few more days off, but you can't expect me to deal with George for much longer." Arthur was smiling and Merlin knew he was just as happy about the night.

"Of course. Right away." Merlin grinned at his prince, his future king.

Things were getting better and really there was no way for things to get worse. Merlin could hear, he could see, Arthur knew about his magic, and didn't hate him for it.

"Oh and Merlin?" Merlin turned back, Arthur was watching him with a strange expression on his face. "When I'm king, I'm going to repeal the ban on magic."

Oh yes, things could only get better.

A/N Alright, Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :D Oh, and this is it. No more in this fic. I hadn't planned on this chapter and I am not planning on anymore. Sorry.