THE HOST CLUB SAVES THE WORLD

Written in large, flowery writing, Haruhi can't help but sigh. She knows this is Tamaki's handwriting, and she doesn't want to know what he had in mind when he was making it. What could he possibly be thinking, putting a banner up across the club room like this? Her worst fears come to mind, and they involve tights.
Unfortunately for her, her worst fears tend to be Tamaki Suoh's newest "best plan ever", and today is no exception. She arrived to the empty club room earlier than usual in order to get some extra homework done away from the overly crowded (and much louder than what should ever be acceptable) libraries on campus, but she isn't even allowed a moment to calm her nerves before another bombardment of noise and excitement hits her- namely, the host club.
"Haruhi!" Tamaki shouts, springing across the room like a child in a field of flowers. He tries to give her a hug, but many months of practice have made her exceedingly adept at outmaneuvering him. He ends up on the floor, as he usually does.
"What is it now, senpai?"
"I just wanted to give my daughter a hug! You never let me give you hugs!" he pouts, dragging himself off the floor slowly.
"I meant this banner," Haruhi sighs, ignoring the elder student's attempts at making her pity him.
"Oh," he returns to his chipper self, hopping up as if nothing had happened, "isn't it great? I was thinking we could be super heroes! We can wear tights and everything! And the best part is that we're going to actually save the world!"
"Whoa! We're gonna save the world?" Hikaru and Kaoru say in unison as they appear on either side of Haruhi.
"That's the plan! Well…I'll save the world, at least. Haruhi and I will do it together! You two are obviously just the sidekicks. We are the main characters in this rom-com, right, Haruhi?" Tamaki turns to Haruhi as she pulls away from the twins, who are now trying to pick a fight with him after his rude comment. He tries to keep her attention, but she is much too eager to escape to the grand piano on the far side of the room, where she generally can do her homework with less noise from the club members.
"Haruhi, don't leave me alone with these lame sidekicks!" His disappointment is clear in his voice, but Haruhi ignores him as she darts for safety. She doesn't make it there; however, as she is stopped by the shadow king of the club- the only one whose orders she really does have to comply with, unlike Tamaki's.
"Where are you going, ?" Kyouya asks from the door of music room three. She slowly turns around, and tries not to tremble from the menacing shadow that his presence seems to bring to the room. He seems to be in a seriously vindictive mood today.
"Well…ummm," Haruhi can't manage to say anything before Kyouya takes charge.
"What is your plan for today, Suoh? Our meeting begins precisely in one hour, and we had better get started."
"What about Honey-sempai and Mori-sempai?" Haruhi asks, hoping to still get a bit of time for homework before she is roped into club activities.
"They have kendo practice, and I don't have the patience to wait."
"Well my plan was to save the world! Didn't you see my banner? Isn't it great, Kyouya?" Tamaki asks, practically hopping up and down in his excitement.
"How much did it cost?"
"Aww Kyouya! Let's not get caught up in that! I wanted today to be special because we're all going to be special (not that we aren't always special)! We're going to get super powers and save the world!"
"What're we saving the world from?" Kaoru asks, sounding disbelieving.
"Now that's a secret," Tamaki laughs, "First club has to start because we're going to get all of the guests to help us too, and they won't if we tell them beforehand."
"And why won't they help us if we tell them?" Kyouya asks, sounding exceedingly skeptical.
"Because saving the world is hard work!" The rest of the club members look at one another with the same dread. Today is going to be a long one. Haruhi sighs, resigning herself to the fact that she'll probably have to do her homework on the bus the following morning. Tonight she'll probably go to bed early with a migraine. Sometimes, you can just tell with these sorts of things.

An hour later finds the club in superhero outfits. Of course, Tamaki tried to get Haruhi to be superwoman while he was superman, but she wouldn't have it. She ended up being Robin, with Mori-sempai as batman, when he and Honey-sempai finally showed up. Initially, Tamaki had the twins as super villains, but was forced to change his mind when he was reminded that they were supposed to be saving the world. They ended up being Iron Man and Tony Stark, and with both wearing such heavy makeup, it was impossible to tell them apart by sight. Of course, neither Haruhi nor Tamaki needed to see the twins to tell them apart. Honey was dressed like Dash from The Incredibles (Haruhi should've realized sooner that Tamaki loved Disney movies), and Kyouya ended up as Spider-man.
"Why is Kyouya dressed like Spidey?" Hikaru asks in between bursts of pretending to fly in his iron man suit. Kyouya immediately grimaces at the pet-name underneath the layers of makeup he has on. Instead of wearing the spider-man mask, or the iron man mask in Hikaru's case, Tamaki decided to have Kaoru paint their faces like the masks instead, so that the customers wouldn't feel detached from the hosts. Kyouya was forced to go along, much to his chagrin.
"That's a good question, Iron Man!" Tamaki answers, making his voice much deeper and more chivalrous, and sounding like a complete goofball in the process, "Kyouya is Spider-man due to his constant brooding over his dead girlfriends."
"What?!" Kyouya nearly shouts. Tamaki immediately backpedals, even losing his booming fake voice to explain himself.
"I mean, I know you don't have dead girlfriends, but you brood as if you did, just like Spider-man."
"I do not brood!" Kyouya scoffs.
"Yes you do," the entire club responds in unison, dropping whatever they are doing to let Kyouya know that he does, in fact, brood. Kyouya rolls his eyes and goes back to brooding over his clipboard, looking over the days expenditures and brooding even more over whether their budget can handle whatever "saving the world" happens to mean today.

The guests arrive as the normally do, doting over the boys' (and girl's, unbeknownst to them) outfits as they appear and take their places with their chosen favourite. Unlike normal days though, instead of club taking place where it usually does, in the music room, Tamaki tells the ladies that club will be held outside today, and that their hosts will escort them. The young ladies immediately start asking where they will be led, but Tamaki won't tell a soul, and he still hasn't told the other club members either. All anyone can do is follow him, and whenever the ladies ask him in particular, he only gives them his award winning smile and whispers, "It's a secret", making them swoon on the spot. (This obviously causes a lot of trouble, since the swooning young ladies than have to be carried by their fellows so that they won't be left behind during the trek).

The "trek" that leaves most of the customers winded and complaining of fears that their parents will find out about it, lasts about 8 minutes, and consists of walking just outside the gates of the school and across the road.
"Alright everyone! We've officially arrived at the start of our saving the world mission," Tamaki announces after turning around to face the group. To make himself more like Superman, Tamaki makes sure to use his "deep" voice and have his hands on his hips. Haruhi can hear the twins choking back laughter when they see his pose.
"And how are we going to do that, Superdork?" Hikaru chortles, barely managing to get the question out before bursting into laughter. Kyouya shoots him a glare, trying to make him be more professional, but Hikaru's customers don't seem to mind; in fact, they seem to enjoy the rivalry between the boys.
"What are we going to do Tamaki-sama?"
"Is it going to hurt?"
"Should I call my lawyer?" The worried ladies chorus with questions for the king of the host club, and if it wasn't for the charisma that made him the host club king in the first place, he probably would have a mob of lawyers on his hands. Fortunately, he is just as charismatic as they say, and with a few soothing words, he has the small group relaxed and even excited for the day's events.
"Don't worry, my beautiful princesses. Today is about saving the world! It won't be too difficult though, I promise. Would we lead dazzling damsels into the line of fire? Of course not! We are your super heroes, and we would never let harm come to you." Of course, this is all said in an overly dramatic, Superman voice, until he drops his pose and walks up to one of his customers standing just in front of him and whispers in her ear, "Would you be my Lois Lane?" She faints instantly.
"Alright, so what are we doing?" Kyouya asks impatiently.
"We're saving the world!" Tamaki responds indignantly.
"Yes, yes, you've said that a thousand times today. What did you have in mind?"
"Oh! That's easy! We're going to save the environment," Tamaki gestures to the ground, which is covered in litter. "See? I noticed it the other day, after watching a documentary about penguins dying because of the litter in the oceans. I thought about going to the beach to save the world, but we just went to the beach a few weeks ago, so I decided it would be better if we saved our school first!" Kyouya stared at Tamaki, agitation clear on his face. He didn't say anything right away, in case the customers heard, but Tamaki would hear about this later…
Most of the guests were unsure about picking up garbage, but the cute boys running around in super hero costumes made the prospect more entertaining. If it wasn't for their amazing hosting skills, it wouldn't have been possible to convince them to continue after more than a minute or two. Of course, Tamaki is the most gung-ho about the actual cleanup, while the rest of the hosts spend their time trying to make sure their guests don't lose interest and get angry with them. Before long though, everyone is grumbling, especially the shadow king. He makes sure to walk up to Tamaki when his guests aren't paying attention (one of them had found a ladybug), and gives "the king" a piece of his mind: "This was all because of some stupid penguins? I had to come out here in this outfit and clean up garbage because of penguins!?" Kyouya seethes. Tamaki turns to Kyouya, confused by the response.
"What's the matter, Spidey? I thought you would want to save the world! Doesn't everyone want the world to be a better place?" He smiles at the girls pretending to pick up trash, never noticing that they were just faking it to please him.
"No one actually cares, Suoh. None of these girls even want to be outside. We're going to lose customers for this!" Kyouya sighs, not even filtering himself with Tamaki as he usually does. Normally he would never be so forward in saying things that would clearly upset Tamaki, but he isn't in the mood with this incredibly hot costume on.
Tamaki's smile falters, and he looks around at the group again. This time he sees what Kyouya had seen all along- most of the guests are giving the ground disgusted stares or longingly looking back to the school grounds. There is one thing he sees, however, that makes him smile again. Haruhi's guests have created a small ring around her, and Tamaki can see the enraptured looks upon their faces. Haruhi is on her hands and knees holding up a piece of litter and explaining something that Tamaki can't quite make out, but it makes him grin like an idiot anyway.
"Not everyone, Kyouya."