True Confessions of Desperate Teenage Boys

Chapter 1: The First Incident - Kagami's Party

Parties at Kagami's apartment had gradually become a thing following the end of their second winter cup. That was the year that Seirin and Touou had both been knocked out of the finals by Shuutoku and Rakuzan, respectively, and between Momoi, Takao and Kiyoshi's finagling (the latter came back as assistant coach during his third year of high school) the Generation of Miracles, their partners, and select Seirin team members all ended up at Kagami's apartment, carousing until dawn. Since then it became something of a weekly gathering, although members of Rakuzan and Yousen came much less frequently. Still, on any given Friday evening, it was more than likely that one would find Kagami cooking for at least Kise, Aomine, Momoi and Kuroko, if not also Midorima, Takao, and members of the Seirin team. If someone brought something contraband - beer, sake, or on one memorable occasion imported tequila - then they'd all stay a bit later. If not, they simply piled in on Kagami's couch, and watched NBA and JBA games until fights broke out. These were largely settled on the basketball court three streets over from Kagami's apartment, or when that didn't work, through Kuroko's divine mandate.

Things were good. Aomine was happier than he'd been for the past three years; Momoi continually sought for courage to confess to Kuroko; Midorima had allowed himself to soften into a vaguely likable being - with Takao's help, of course; and Kise, while no less annoying, had dimmed the sparkles down considerably. Most importantly, Kuroko had regained his middle school friendships, yet with the addition of a light that he knew would never leave him, and Kagami was simply happy that everyone else seemed to be doing ok.

Then came the night that Alex cashed in on her blackmail; Kagami was publically debauched, and Kuroko and Midorima finally saw eye to eye on something.

Horrific as it was, it all began like this.

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Kise was almost always the first one to get drunk, although in his defense it was difficult to tell - his flamboyance was practically a force of nature, and the only real indicator was that extra half an inch on his smile. The night it happened it was no different. He was in the corner chatting up Murasakibara and Himuro, hoping to have an intelligible conversation about fashion in the United States. Kagami, who stood by the monochrome look with a steadfast passion was clearly not the right person to approach. Later, he would attest that Himuro seemed to drink no more or less than usual, and there had been no sign of the impending disaster. For once, Murasakibara would agree. From both their accounts, Himuro simply sidestepped Kise in the middle of an impassioned query about plaid and sashayed on over to the couch, where Aomine and Kagami were in the middle of a discussion about the merits of eating meat three times a day. Moving with all his usual grace, he settled onto Kagami's lap, locking his knees around his 'younger brother's' hips. Before Kagami could do anything other than look over in surprise, Himuro proceeded to initiate the most heated, passionate, and heartfelt kiss anyone present had ever witnessed.

The party screeched to a stop, with all mouths and eyes - Kagami's included - wide open in shock. Yet if Himuro minded Kagami's lack of response he was doing an excellent job ignoring it. The rest of the party goers, however, had very decided opinions on the unexpected state of affairs.

In a move more eloquent than anything he could have said, Aomine immediately toppled backwards over the shoulder of the couch. This caught Momoi's attention, who had been in the middle of sharing an amazed look with her sometime enemy, Aida. Yet even as she bent down to ostensibly check on her childhood friend, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the spectacle on the couch. It was for data-gathering purposes, after all. Oh yes it was.

On the other side of the room, Akashi froze. "Oh my," he murmured, too well-bred to voice any thoughts he might entertain on the unsuitableness of such a pairing, or of such enthusiasm in pursuing it. Beside him, Takao made noises that sounded suspiciously like choked back laughter, and his eyes watered at the thought of Midorima's reaction that he would undoubtedly hear all about on their rickshaw ride home.

Kise, truth be told, felt a little hurt. Wasn't he pretty enough to be kissed so thoroughly? Himuro was a devastatingly attractive man, but Kagami? Those eyebrows! Just what was the appeal? Deciding there was no accounting for taste, he merely folded his arms and lidded his eyes, so that no one else might notice him enjoying the view every bit as much as Momoi was.

Murasakibara's reaction was simultaneously the most straightforward and the least helpful. "Muro-chiiiiiiin. You can't eat people!" Whereas Hyuuga, having just walked out of the bathroom, took one look at Aida's face, Kagami's predicament, and the goggling bystanders, and walked right back in.

"Mmmmmm." Himuro hummed in pleasure and Kagami, whose deepening flush was conversely proportional with the panic in his eyes, began making muffled, high-pitched squeaks. It was this noise that drew both Kuroko and Midorima's attention, who were loitering in the kitchen in an unsuccessful effort to get along.

The plastic cup that Kuroko was holding slipped from his nerveless fingers, and Midorima watched its descent until it hit the floor, spilling water everywhere. The shooting guard hadn't seen Kuroko look this defeated for years, but he was reminded of how uncomfortable it was when he watched his expression crumble and heard him whisper, "No. No, he can't."

It was at that moment - less than thirty seconds since the kiss was initiated - that Kagami found the wherewithal to shove Himuro from his person, inhale deeply, declare his intentions to murder Alexandra Garcia if it was the last thing he did, and stalk into his bedroom to retrieve his cell phone and make good on his threat. In his absence, all eyes turned to Himuro, who sat on the floor grinning like a pleased cat. He stood, and with a graceful shrug made his way back over to Murasakibara, who looked down at him with no small amount of disapproval.

Himuro laughed. "Oh, calm down, Atsushi. It was all Alex's idea. You know how she is. Besides, she found out about the time I...well. Let's just say I'm currently quite drunk. I won't even remember this come tomorrow. "

As if to prove one half of his point, Kagami's voice drifted through his door, sounding distinctly unhappy. "Just because it's funny is no excuse, Alexandra!"

Neither of which lessened Murasakibara's pout. "He doesn't even look tasty."

Himuro chuckled and patted the titan's arm. "No, not tasty, per se. It's not a flavor you'd like, I'm sure."

At this, Takao could take no more and laughed out loud, braving Akashi's and Aida's identical, displeased glares. The din carried into the kitchen, and covered up the sound of Kuroko's teeth grinding together. Midorima glanced over at Kuroko's emotionless facade and knew it was masking his rage. And he knew with the same certainty of his shots' success - Kuroko entertained feelings for his power forward. After a moment of watching all the players in the living room converge on either Himuro or Kagami (who had made his way out of his bedroom shaking his head and muttering in English) and measuring up the danger in his projected course, Midorima leaned over and in a detached, off-hand tone - as if they were calmly discussing the weather - admitted, "You know, I've been in love with my partner for about a year, now."

Kuroko's head whipped around so quickly Midorima could hear his neck crack. Admitting his feelings was more embarrassing than he'd anticipated, however, and so he avoided Kuroko's searching eyes by staring at the scene unfolding in front of them.

For his own part, Kuroko was having a difficult time comprehending Midorima's admission, especially when it followed on the heels of That Horrific Display. "You what? With...him? Why?" And then, after a moment's further contemplation, "What?"

Midorima shoved his glasses so far up the bridge of his nose they threatened to leave indents on his eyebrows. "You heard what I said. And I certainly cannot tell you why as I don't know the answer to that myself. But I trust you'll keep it to yourself, seeing as how you are in a similar situation. I just thought such knowledge may be of...assistance to you."

Now Kuroko had to deal with the strain of having just watched Kagami (passively, unhappily) be kissed; the shock of discovering Midorima had the capability to love, and that he cared for Kuroko enough as a friend to worry for his present state of mind. Therefore, he was not at his best when he responded. "You're wrong - I'm not...I'm not in love with anyone. And you...with him? You're admitting it?"

Midorima scoffed. "There's no point in hiding it, Kuroko. Why else would you be standing in a puddle, looking as if you'd just lost the Winter Cup?" Kuroko belatedly looked down at his hands, as if just now realizing he had dropped his cup. Then he scowled, taking offense at Midorima's matter-of-fact tone. "It is an expression I recognize, and one I never thought you'd wear for him. Still, misery loves company, or so they say. I just thought I'd let you know."

"Misery? But how could Takao spend that much time with you - how could he stand you- if he didn't reciprocate?"

Midorima humphed, but there was no real feeling in it. "That was uncalled for, Kuroko. And I suppose he finds me pleasant to interact with, as well he should. Please stop making that expression. I can be perfectly charming when I want to be."

"And are you charming when you make him drive you around on your rickshaw?"

"He rarely complains. Although he may tend to the masochistic, I have wondered…"

Kuroko glanced over at Shuutoku's point guard, who was currently grilling Himuro for details, snapping pics on his cell phone like an overenthusiastic journalist. He kept his eyes firmly trained on that corner of the room, not wanting to look at Kagami. "I suppose he'd have to be, given the situation. It would be proven if he ever returned your affections; your family being how they are. I trust they have no idea about you?"

Midorima shivered. "Of course not! And they won't. There's no reason to, after all. Takao seems quite happy with his pattern of spastic dating; attending those ridiculous group events that no doubt end in incorrect cell phone numbers and drunken indiscretions at the back of the karaoke booth. And before you ask, I won't be telling him, either. You understand."

And Kuroko did. The thought of telling Kagami that he lay awake at night thinking about the flex of his muscles underneath his hands or how it would taste when licking his...spine from base to tip nearly brought on an uncharacteristic panic attack. It would be the same for Midorima, who was just as reserved as Kuroko, and a tsundere to boot. That brought to mind…"How are you handling this so well? Isn't it painful to see...him doing all those things? Isn't it painful to see him?"

The shooting guard adjusted his glasses, yet not in order to hide his expression, but so that he wouldn't have to look at his partner - who had moved on over to Kagami, and whatever he was saying made him blush as red as his hair - over the dark rim of his glasses. "Sometimes, yes. But it would be worse not to."

Takao chose that precise moment to turn and look for him, laughter dancing in his eyes. "Shin-chan! What, are you hiding in there?" Disregarding his noble mission to make Kagami flush, he bounded over to the kitchen door. He stopped right before the slowly spreading pool of water, and although his eyes couldn't miss it, he didn't ask. "Ah, hello, Kuroko. Did you guys see? What a spectacle, huh? I think Aomine is having a panic attack or something...although it's better than Kise and Momoi, frankly. I think they liked it a little too much." He winked, ignoring Kuroko's bland expression, and Kuroko was thankful that he hadn't seemed to see through it.

"Takao, make your goodbyes. We will be leaving soon."

The point guard pursed his lips in a mock pout. "Awwwww, Shin-chan! It's not even Eleven-"

"Takao. Our host is clearly indisposed. It's only polite that we end this evening's visit a little early." And then, as if he realized just how kind he was being, "I also desire some shiruko. Travesty that Kagami does not stock it aside, we should go procure some."

Kuroko and Takao both stared at Shuutoku's ace for a moment, but where Kuroko was thrown by the consideration, Takao merely smiled, taking it in stride. "Of course, Ace-sama. I'll go get our coats." With a smile at Kuroko, he turned to go.

With both of their attention on the retreating point guard, neither noticed Kagami watching them, narrow-eyed and thoughtful.

Kuroko turned back to his ex-teammate. "He's certainly very helpful. Obliging, one could say. You've never thought about taking advantage of that?"

Midorima's eyes widened, surprised that Kuroko could think so ruthlessly. Then he remembered any number of occasions in middle school where he had tortured Kise and Aomine. On second thought, he merely wondered why they still wanted to be friends with him so badly. "Of course not. The end result wouldn't justify the means. Yet the same could be asked of you - although obliging isn't the term I'd use for your partner. Idiot comes to mind."

"That was unkind, Midorima-kun.

He harrumphed. "What, that he's an idiot or that I'd consider you taking advantage of him?"

"...Both."

Any further conversation was interrupted by Takao's returning. They took their leave with a cheerful wave (Takao) and a stiff nod (Midorima) and in short order Kuroko was left standing alone in the kitchen, still refusing to make his way into the living room. By this point he knew his odd behavior must have garnered some attention - someone was bound to notice he was hiding. He would simply have to assert that he'd been there the entire time, and insinuate that everyone's ability to sense him was getting rusty.

Besides, he had a water spill to clean up. Just as Coach lay into Hyuuga about letting their baby get mauled ("His innocence was taken, Hyuuga!" "And just what do you want me to do about it? Give it back? Argh! We're leaving, Aida!") Kuroko cast about the kitchen for a towel. Several hung on the stove's handle, and after retrieving one, he bent to clean the spill.

With every stroke he reassured himself. He would get over this. He would, he would, he would…

Back in the living room, just as the situation had regained some level of normalcy, Aomine belatedly yelled, "What the fuck was that?!"

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Kuroko and his insatiable curiosity lasted two days. No matter how uncomfortable it may prove, he had to know: how had someone like Midorima fallen for someone like Takao? At the very least, it took his mind off his own impossible crush on his light - whom he had avoided since the party, for what he hoped was less than obvious reasons. At best, however, it could provide insight on how he could deal with his unquenchable affections for Kagami. Regardless, there must be something he could learn from Midorima, and so in a rare move, he texted his ex-teammate and invited him for tea at a shop he remembered Midorima frequenting, back in middle school. They'd served that horrid shiruko that Kuroko had spent hours making fun of back with Aomine and Kise, but now he'd use to his advantage. Midorima wouldn't turn him down. He just knew it.

He was proven correct before he entered the shop. Through the window he saw Midorima sitting at a lone table, attired in his usual attempt at camouflage - the dark glasses. As if it would hide his 6'5" frame, or that shocking hair color. Couldn't he wear a hat, or something? Well, he shouldn't judge him. Not everyone could operate under the radar as well as he.

Using misdirection, he slid into the seat opposite Midorima's while he wasn't looking, and then waited for his ex-teammate to turn back around.

"Bleargh-" Midorima choked on his shiruko, and had they not been in public, would have spat it right back out. When he was no longer in danger of choking, he glowered at his friend. "Can't you simply announce your presence like a normal human being?"

Kuroko smiled. "No. Now, I've called you here today-"

"To talk about our impossible attractions to our best friends. Yes. That was obvious."

Kuroko's eyes narrowed, and Midorima was in imminent danger of being jabbed in the ribs. "And yet you came. Does that mean you want to talk about these things? With me? Midorima-kun, I am honored."

The shooting guard winced, but held firm. "The same holds true to you. You did invite me, after all. Now, I have given this a lot of thought, and have come to a decision. We should talk about it. I've heard such things are therapeutic. And we don't have to worry about betraying each other's confidences, as no one would believe we'd ever confided to each other in the first place. More so, it would likely be beneficial to converse, as we are the only two we know in this kind of position. Your thoughts?"

Kuroko tended to forget that while it was aggravating dealing with Midorima, he was also quite intelligent. He had cut through to the heart of the matter adroitly, and saved Kuroko having to volunteer his own explanations. "I agree. I admit I am rather curious about your connection with your point guard. If I may ask...when did it begin?"

Midorima rubbed the bridge of his nose, dislodging his sunglasses.

"Also, will you please take those off? It is quite disconcerting to speak to you with them on. Besides they aren't hiding anything."

Midorima frowned, but acquiesced. His fingers returned to the bridge of his nose and Kuroko wondered if it was a nervous reaction. "In regards to that, I had an idea. Perhaps it might be best for us both to tell our stories, and then to ask questions after? That way we both have ample opportunity to explain ourselves. It is only fair that way."

"I doubt that Midorima-kun would be interested in my 'story'-"

"Then I'm not telling mine. A story for a story."

Kuroko reflected. Could he actually do this? Could he be honest with Midorima about his longterm affections for Kagami? It went against his instincts, to talk like this with Midorima. Yet it was as he said - they had nothing to lose. No one would believe Midorima if he said anything, and Kuroko sincerely doubted that he would. He was annoying, but never dishonorable...and neither was Kuroko. Finally, he nodded. "All right. But I warned you. I'm not sure how proper my story will be."

"Due to the content, I'm sure neither of our tales would pass muster with anyone of...a more traditional persuasion. Still. Would you like to go first, or shall I?"

"You, please. Then I can order something while I listen."

"If you insist. Ahem. I have always been quiet, observant…"

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I think I have a chronic condition where all I want to do is write about men making drunken kisses at parties. I think it's called Springtime. Send help, preferably in the form of a Man After Midnight. Oh god. I'm so done with me.