part XXI

Life moves on. Nico thinks he likes that.

And Percy holds his hand all the time now. Nico definitely likes that.

"See? I told you he was your boyfriend," Hazel says when she sees Percy kiss his cheek and then stumble his way out of the door before Nico can process what just happened. He throws a glare at her but it's okay because Percy just kissed his cheek. Hazel smirks at him.

"How long?"

Nico flushes. "Just a couple days now."

"Ugh, finally. I have bets you know. I think you've just won me thirty bucks."

Nico doesn't even bother to ask who with. He just smiles. Hazel coos at him.

"You're really into him, huh?"

Nico nods.

"And... you don't feel like you're moving too fast or pressured into anything, right? You've been... through a lot, Nico. You deserve this, you know? To be happy. Bianca would want this for you."

Nico didn't expect to hear it, but he's glad he did. He nods again and tries not to cry. Hazel is right. He knows Hazel is right. He nods again for good measure.

"She would be proud of me," he lets himself say. Because it's true, isn't it? She would be. Bianca was always proud of him.

Hazel pulls him in for a hug. "She would be. She really, really would be. And I am too. I'm happy for you, Nico."

Nico doesn't cry. He nods against her, barely hugging her back, the energy suddenly having been sapped out from him.

"Percy really cares about you. I know you two will make it work. I'm here for you though, always, okay?" She pulls back and gives him a soft smile. "Always."

Nico nods again. "Thank you, Hazel."

He deserves this.

He does.

"I'm glad we met without knowing about the Bianca thing. It's shitty you didn't tell me, but... it would have changed things. I'm glad I fell for you for a completely different reason than Bianca."

"Nico..."

"I am. I know... I know, logically, you should have told me as soon as you found out. But... it worked out the way it was supposed to, didn't it? So, I'm grateful I didn't know about how you were related to her."

Percy just nods, eyes wide and serious. They're currently cuddling on Percy's mom's couch since she refused to let them see the celebratory meal she was making for them before it was finished. It was nice.

"I'm still sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But... I'm glad too, I guess. I'm glad you gave me the chance, Nico."

Nico almost laughs at that. It's funny that, in the end, it really did come down to that. Nico was the infatuated one when they met and he's still pretty infatuated, but he also knows that if Percy had revealed what he knew earlier, everything would have been different. Nico wasn't ready to learn that yet. He knows that now, even though it hurt back then.

"I don't really associate you with her at all," Nico adds, snuggling in closer to Percy's chest. He wasn't entirely comfortable, but he'd be damned if he left this position. "I guess you sort of do with me, associate me with her I mean, but when I'm with you, some of the pain just subsides. It hurts just a little less. And when I'm with you, it all just seems worth it. I don't know. It's just... I'm sad, right? I still am and I know I will be for a while, but now I can be sad and have someone by my side. Which is... cool... god, please ignore all that."

Nico hears and feels Percy's laugh. It makes him smile.

"There's no way I'm ignoring that. But also, Nico... I don't look at you and just think about Bianca. I look at you and I think about you. You're pretty cool, you know. Even if you do look like you just came out of a My Chemical Romance concert."

Nico immediately sits up and scoots away. He shakes his head. "That's it. Cuddle rights revoked."

"Noooooo," Percy bemoans, reaching for him. "I love My Chemical Romance and I love you, you can't just leave me for the other side of the couch, that's so unfair to me and my personal rights." Nico lets Percy reach him. "Besides, you're so cute wearing all black. I love my goth boyfriend."

"I'm literally going to kill you."

"You literally wouldn't dare."

Nico playfully shoves him. Percy raises his eyebrows. "You want to do this? I'll destroy you, Di Angelo."

Nico does it again. Percy gets into battle mode.

"Dinner's ready!"

Nico stands up and bolts to the kitchen, Percy yelling "Coward!" behind him.

The night is one of Nico's favorites and laughter fills the air and his heart.

Life moves on. And Nico, still, for the most part, continues to like that.

Sometimes, he thinks that even back then, Bianca was playing matchmaker. She was always thinking about Nico. She always thought about how to protect him and keep him safe and how to make him happy and loved and Nico thinks that she really thought he'd get along with Percy.

Nico wishes she took care of herself more. Nico wishes she let herself forget about Nico, even for just a second. Nico wishes she could have had the chance to fall in love with someone the way he fell in love with Percy.

Nico knows he can't do anything about that, though. But still, the thought pops into his head every now and then.

But it's okay. He's okay. Bianca still exists with him in his heart and Nico will keep her with him.

Bianca would be proud of him, he thinks.

And more importantly,

Nico is proud of himself.

He puts his jacket on and smiles at himself in the mirror. Today's just another day.

Today is another day.

That means something.

A couple of weeks later, Percy drags him to their café, hand gripping onto Nico's tightly and Nico feels warmth spread all across his body. He feels it in his heart and soul and Nico lets himself just live in the moment, lets himself just forget about everything else, everything that could be bad, and then Percy is opening the door and the bell dings above them.

The lights are warm and there are lights strewn up on the walls that weren't there previously. Nico thinks about making a joke about how this was such a shitty date location considering it was where they worked, but then Nico sees that the café is empty and he sees the table decorated for the two of them.

"The lights are so cheesy," Nico murmurs as Percy leads him to the table.

"They aren't," Percy insists. They both sit down and their hands are still linked together. Nico raises an eyebrow.

"They're super cheesy."

"Okay, maybe."

Nico looks at them, strewn up weirdly and barely holding on and he quirks a small smile at how endearing it is.

And then they fall down.

Percy gasps. Nico immediately starts laughing.

Percy continues to just gape at the fallen lights and Nico laughs more at his expression. Percy does nothing to go and fix them, though, and finally, he starts laughing as well. He squeezes Nico's hand.

"This is where we first met," Percy whispers suddenly like it's a secret.

Nico flushes and tries to pull away. "Oh my god, you're really going extreme with the cheesy factor, huh? Where did this even come from?"

Percy laughs. "I don't know, bro. I'm just so in love with you, bro, what else do you expect, bro? Bro, you're my everything, bro."

"Stop."

"Bro."

"Why are you doing this to me? Seriously, why? You're making me relive traumatic experiences."

Percy cracks up at that, scoffing. "Traumatic experiences."

Nico tries not to smile and finally pulls back enough to cross his arms. "Yeah," he says, biting his lip. "Traumatic experiences. All the way."

Percy grins at him.

The night goes by in colors of blues and purples and reds and Percy makes Nico a dinner that Nico gives him shit for and they give each other loud opinions about certain topics that don't really matter and by the end of it, Percy talks about a scene he saw in a movie where the couple slow danced to nothing at all and wants to do that with Nico, but Nico starts playing heavy metal music before Percy can stop him and then they're slow dancing in a dumb café as someone screams in the background and Nico finds himself falling in so much deeper than he ever truly thought he could before, but this time

he doesn't want to come back up.

The night ends and Percy is laughing loudly, eyes bright bright bright, and it's Nico that does it in the end. It's Nico that uses all the courage and love in his heart that's surged up within him over the course of the night and it's Nico that takes the first step closer and it's Nico that does it.

It's Nico that kisses Percy and it's Percy that kisses him back.

Percy's hands fall to Nico's waist immediately, gently holding him and Nico smiles against Percy's mouth.

It feels like nothing Nico thought it would feel like and that makes it all the better.

When they both pull back, they're both blushing, but it's nice and it means something and there's a resounding I love him rushing through Nico's head and body and veins and heart and blood and every single part that makes him up and then Percy says it too.

"I love you."

Nico's smile feels like it'll never stop and Nico forces himself to nod.

"I love you too."

It's a good night and all the colors in the rainbow paint its existence.

"I've been doing better. I still have really bad days and nights, but overall... I'm glad I'm alive. And... that's a newer feeling, but it's definitely one of the best."

Andrew smiles at him. "It certainly is. You've come a long way, you should definitely be proud of yourself."

Nico lets his smile break through. He nods. He thinks of Bianca and he thinks of Hazel and he thinks of Percy and he thinks of himself and he knows that he really, truly, most definitely, is proud.

"I am," he says, confirming it once again. This time, it feels more real than ever before, though. It feels even more important.

This time, Nico believes it.

"I am," he says again. "I'm proud of myself."

Life moves on.

And on a particularly boring day, a group of their friends stops by as Percy is trying to get Nico to laugh at one of his jokes.

"You two are disgusting, it's been months, please get out of the honeymoon stage."

They both look up to see Thalia cringing at them and Annabeth at her side, a smile on her face. Nico's surprised to see Will with them, as well. He's with someone else though too and they both take a seat at a table.

Thalia and Annabeth walk over and immediately get into Nico's line.

"I'm open, too," Percy says.

They both ignore him and order from Nico.

"You make it, okay?" Annabeth says, sending Percy a teasing look. Percy scoffs.

"My coffee is fine!"

"Your coffee is fine 10% of the time. I don't want to risk it," Thalia remarks as she hands over her card to a laughing Nico. "Nico, being the favorite that he is, makes amazing coffee. I would trust him with my life."

Nico laughs. "You don't need to trust anyone with your life, Thalia. You are completely set on taking care of yourself."

"That's true. Also, is Jason not working today? He told me he was."

Nico shakes his head. "He forgot he had something due for one of his classes, so no. That's why I'm here today."

"That's a blessing, imagine if it was just Percy."

Annabeth and Thalia both fake a shiver. Percy starts pouting.

When they both order and receive their coffees, Will and his friend come up to order too. He grins at Nico.

"Long time no see!" he says. Nico smiles at him.

"Yeah, I'm shocked to see you here."

"We ran into Annabeth and Thalia, and they said they were headed here so we said... why not? So, here we are. Nico, meet my boyfriend, Ben."

Nico smiles at Ben. "Hey, good to meet you."

"You too." Ben starts to order from Percy and when Percy turns around, Will leans in close.

"You found love in him, huh?"

Nico nods, smiling softly. He looks at Percy and then back at Will.

"Yeah. I did."

"I'm happy for you."

Nico smiles wider. "I'm happy for you too."

Will sends him a thankful smile at that, pays for his coffee, and then they both go back to sit down after they make it for them.

Percy puts his chin on Nico's shoulder.

"What was that about?"

Nico shrugs him off. "He supports us and our gay love. I think he supports all gay love."

Percy snorts. And then, "Did you know Annabeth started dating someone?"

Nico did not know that.

"No. Really?"

Percy grins. "Yeah. I think she came here today to tell me. Rachel told me as soon as they got together though."

"What are you going to say?"

Percy shrugs. "I'm happy for her. She deserves that. Especially with how shitty of a boyfriend I was to her."

"You weren't a shitty boyfriend," Nico says, grabbing his hand. "You were just in a bad place, Percy. And that's okay. Things happen for a reason."

Percy looks down at him, eyes fond fond fond. "You're right. Besides, you were a reason, too, di Angelo. Don't act like you weren't. I don't regret anything. It led me to you."

"Here I am, trying to have a normal conversation, and suddenly you're trying to prove that you're like the god of being sappy or something. I don't know how I put up with this."

"You love me."

Nico blushes. "You're right. Maybe I do."

Percy's answering laugh is music to his ears. "I can't believe you're the favorite here. You're the newest worker. I've been working here forever. That isn't fair."

Nico grins. "I've never told you this before, but..."

"But what?"

Nico purses his lips, trying to predict what Percy's reaction will be. "Have I told you that I love you?"

"Nico."

"And have I told you that the coffee you make is always too sweet? Okay, maybe not always," Nico adds when he sees Percy's eyes widen. "But most of the time. Since I've first come here."

"Wait, seriously?"

Nico doesn't know why Percy is so surprised. "Yes! I don't think that makes it bad per se, but that might be why other people don't really love it."

"Oh. Why didn't you ask me to change it?"

(Nico didn't even like the coffee there that much. He really didn't. Usually, it was just a bit too sweet and the taste was always kind of off. But it didn't matter how many times he told himself that he should just go to a different café to get his coffee, he never did.)

"I mean like I said, it didn't make it bad for me. Plus, it wasn't a big deal."

(Of course, the very attractive Percy was not the cause of that.)

"Well, it seems it is a big deal," Percy says seriously.

"You're so annoying."

"So it is a big deal?" Percy asks and his sly smile gives him away before his crappy acting does.

"You're so annoying! Of course it isn't. But like. Just stop making it so sweet," says Nico.

A pause. And then, "You know what, I think I need to rescind our dinner date tonight."

"We don't have a dinner date tonight."

"I'm definitely rescinding our dinner date tonight."

Nico shrugs. "Go ahead. You aren't my life.

"Nicoooo."

"Percyy."

Percy laughs. "But why DIDN'T you ever tell me?"

(Of course he was.)

Nico blushes and looks away. "I mean… it was you. It was… endearing, I guess. I don't know. Shut up."

"Awww, did you have a crush on me?" Percy asks like the idiot he is.

"I will throw this coffee on you."

"I only made your coffee sweeter bc you're so sweet," Percy says, getting in closer and winking.

Nico groans. "Gross, get out. I'm the boss now and I'm saying your shift is now over."

"It's true! I only did it because it was you," Percy smirks.

Nico grimaces again and almost thinks about calling Thalia and Annabeth for help. He sighs. "This conversation is terrible and it's upsetting our many customers."

Percy looks around. "Ah yes, this nearly-empty café with just our friends is so upset, I see."

Nico nods seriously. "Exactly, yes. I'm glad you understand."

They stare at each other, keeping up the act a bit longer before finally, they can't hold it in anymore and both erupt into giggles.

"I like your coffee the way it is. Don't change it." Nico says a few seconds later.

Percy nods. "It's not like I know how to, anyway. I'm all your getting, di Angelo."

Nico feels giddy. "Heaven forbid."

"Hey!"

For Christmas that year, Nico spends time with people he considers family for the first time in years.

Hazel kicks his ass in Battleship and Percy helps his mom and her boyfriend cook dinner. They all open presents for each other and Nico doesn't mean to cry when Hazel gives him a photo she's had of him and Bianca, but he does, and it's sweet and Nico hugs her tightly to him as Percy's mom rubs his back comfortingly and Percy squeezes his hand.

During some point in the night, Sally pulls Nico aside and gives him another hug before kissing his forehead. Nico doesn't cry, but he wants to, and later in the night, when Percy and him are cuddling in Nico's bed, Nico tells him what she told him and Percy tells him it's what he deserves, he deserves a family and love and happiness and Nico knows he does, but he didn't expect he'd ever actually get it. He didn't expect he'd ever actually get to have it. He didn't expect it. But he knows he can't let it go.

"You're my home too, you know," Percy tells Nico, kissing him softly.

Nico nods, hating his tears but embracing them nonetheless. "Same," he says lamely. Percy laughs. The sound is comforting.

Nico thinks his own puzzle piece is finally starting to fit in with others'. Nico thinks he's finally, really and truly, found his family.

And Nico knows, not thinks, that he really, really likes that.

Life moves on.

Life moves on.

Life moves on.

And Nico keeps breathing.

*Warning: incoming long endnote

I started this fic on April 19th, 2014. It's April 12th, 2019 as I write this and finish this. That's almost five years ago exactly.

It took me so long to finish this fic, this fic I never planned to be so long, but I can't tell you how much it meant and means to me to have the support I had for it over the years. It's definitely not my most popular fic, it's not very well-known, and I'm honestly not really even in the Percy Jackson fandom anymore, but this fic is one of my favorite fics I've ever written.

I don't think it's that good and in my opinion, you can definitely see how my writing style changed over the years (which is just… a big continuity error in the writing alone), but I appreciate it for that very reason. I grew up a lot while writing this fic and this fic helped me a lot in figuring some things out about myself and in letting me project feelings that I felt were heard by at least somebody.

I was fifteen when I started writing this. I'm twenty now. I still have a lot of life ahead of me, but there were definitely multiple points in my life where I didn't think that way. I was Nico in my own life and some pretty horrible things have happened to me, but it's okay. It's okay because I'm still here despite it all and I'm still me, undoubtedly and beautifully so.

Some of the comments I received on this fic over the years are still some of my absolute favorites and some of you have been supporting it for years now, which means more than you can ever know. (You know who you are.) I really appreciate every single one of you, really.

I struggled a lot with writing the last chapter. My first draft for it was much longer, but it wasn't right and I ended up deleting it out of frustration one day to start from scratch. I tried again, didn't like it, and then deleted it again. I know the last chapter isn't very long, but I like it. I don't think there's a better way for me to have ended it. I didn't want to make it seem like Nico got magically better. He never really did, but I have hope that he does.

Just like how I have hope that I will. There are no guarantees in life. My original ending line for the draft I'm posting was "And he never again wishes it didn't" (in regards to live moving on), but I can't guarantee that either. Love doesn't fix depression and it doesn't fix the past or make everything better, but it does help. Support and love helps in ways some people may not even truly understand.

And Nico in the story, and I as well, have that support and love in our lives. And it's a big, defining reason as to why we hold on. I know it's a reason why a lot of people continue to hold on.

It's a beautiful reason.

I'm really proud that I finished this fic. I am. There are many times where I didn't really want to, didn't see the point in doing so, didn't think I could offer the happy ending that everyone craved, and this fic was definitely written while shaping itself around my own life.

And because of that, it's so incredibly personal to me. Which is why it's one of my favorites. I put a lot of myself into every word of this fic and to have it be so loved by at least a few people meant a lot to me.

I'm honored you gave Always Too Sweet a chance and I'm honored you came along for the ride. Nico's journey in this is one that came from the heart. I hope that my heart was able to be heard.

No matter where you may be in your journey of life, I love you lots. Support and love exists all around you. Even if you can't see it, even if you don't believe it, even if you try to push it away. It exists. And your life is something so significant, even if you aren't aware of it just yet.

Sorry this was so sappy. I'm sappy, okay!

But seriously, thank you.

With all the love in my heart and in the world,

Dianna

(P.S. here's a line I had planned, but couldn't fit into the story without cringing: "Plus who gives a damn if the coffee is too sweet. It only makes sense when the barista is just as sweet.")