A/N: I'm very sorry for how I'm ending this story but I've been giving y'all hints. I've always meant to end it this way because I like endings that are open for interpretation. ENJOY!

I've started another CielxSebastian story and it's a little weird and upside down, not perverted though, so check it out IF you feel like it and please don't judge.

Warning: none

Chapter 10: As Long As it's a Happy Ending

As much as Ciel wanted to oversleep, he couldn't. He was forced to wake up due to the smell of the breakfast Sebastian was preparing. He wasn't even trying to be quiet. He knew Ciel's weakness when it came to anything he makes so he took advantage of it. Given, he figured the boy wouldn't forget just by a well-prepared meal but he wouldn't stand not trying. Ciel tossed and turned on the decently comfortable couch when the sounds of clacking and the smell of the freshly cooked eggs hit him. The boy huffed in annoyance that went unnoticed and threw his sheets away. He stared at the ceiling, contemplating over his course of action.

He turned to lay on his stomach and lifted his head just enough past the back of the couch to see Sebastian staring right at him. He had a pan in one hand a giant fork in the other. The minute their eyes met, Ciel buried his head in the pillow and left the man with an amused smile. It was like watching a newly bought cat get used to its environment. It was amusing, but at the same time, the owner knows that there's some work to be done. Sebastian turned the stove off and placed the fork on an empty plate. He wiped his hands in the towel hanging on the oven's handle and made his way to the couch. He was careful to make a sound to let Ciel know that he's coming towards him. The boy didn't make a move until Sebastian was sitting on the table in front of him. Ciel slowly lifted himself and sat straight, reaching for under the pillow. Sebastian watched him pull put his cell phone without lifting his head and mumble "I'm calling mom to come pick me up."

Sebastian smiled and slowly pulled the phone from the boy's hand "Hey, relax. Lovers fight, but they work it out...and they don't call their moms." He joked with a smile as he watched the boy let go of the phone and keep a frown on his face.

Sebastian sighed and leaned closer, trying to make sure that Ciel looks at him "You were right. I was trying to change your sexuality but only because I was thinking of the best for you. I'm sorry but being in a relationship with man in his thirties who is also your mother's ex-husband isn't what I wanted for you. I was thinking as your father...I still am. I should be thinking as your lover and it's hard to change that way of thinking overnight." He took Ciel's hands in his own and stroked it gently when their eyes finally met "You were a kid. For three years you were just an innocent kid, no matter what we did you always stayed innocent in a way and I didn't know how but I loved it. I always took care of you and I'll continue to but now...you're a teenager and you think and speak and act differently. I have to deal with it as your lover but I'm dealing with it as your father and it's wrong." He took a breath when he finished and waited for a reaction. He watched carefully to try and understand the boy's expression without words.

Ciel only looked hurt. He was a little annoyed but only because he was agreeing with Sebastian. He can't expect the man to change his view in one night. Ciel, for the most part, he acted like a kid and not like a lover which gave Sebastian the impression that he should act like a father and not a lover as well "You always overthink everything."

Sebastian smiled, happiness glowing in his scarlets. Ciel wasn't disagreeing with him which is always a good sign, especially after what was said last night. "Because you're my baby. You're my little kitten and I want you to stay like that." He lifted the boy's chin so they look at each other and tried to sound as positive as he can because he knew that what he was about to say wouldn't sound positive or appealing. "Baby, listen, a life with me means I see you few hours a day, very very few hours, and not contentiously. It means we have to wait until you're eighteen to tell anyone about us and by anyone I mean very few people because most people know I was married to your mother. It also means that we can never grow old together because I'm dying much much sooner than you. It means that we can never be in public without people thinking you're my son or if they think otherwise then they'll look and judge and give us hard time. It means we can never tell anyone the story of how we met because then I'll go straight to jail. It means that for the next five years, we have to keep loving each other with the little time we have together while keeping this relationship a secret. And most importantly, it means I can never ever ask you to marry me, and I can never have kids with you. So tell me, do you want a relationship that has no future with a man that you can never be seen as his lover?" His question came out a little harsher than he wanted and it made him observe the boy in fear of changing his mind and start to disagree now.

Ciel pulled his hand away. This is the last place he expected the conversation to go. Sebastian wanting to wait and Sebastian thinking about marrying him in the future were completely different things that needed different reactions. "Fine! If you want to break up with me then well done. At least you gave me a proper break up." His words seemed just weak and hurt when he wanted them to sound none-caring.

Sebastian straightened and moved to sat next to the boy, holding him by the shoulder and gently soothing him "This is not a break up, you're not listening. I want you to know the options before deciding, is that such a bad thing?" He looked at the boy who was looking back, barely holding his tears.

Ciel averted his gaze and shifted to let Sebastian know that he wants to pull away "You're thinking like a father again. Can you at least try not to so this conversation can become more believable?"

Sebastian smiled; relieved by the fact that the younger wasn't angry or hurt as much as he was when this conversation started. "I can try; I most certainly can try for you. So give me a chance, just give me a chance to get used to this. You've seen us this way since the minute you decided to love me but I loved you differently for so long and I can't just flip a switch." He pulled the boy to his chest and buried his face in the teal hair, smelling him like his favorite drug.

Ciel couldn't help but smile "At least the switch exists. I can wait." He lifted his head and looked at the man "If you really want me to forgive you than finish that breakfast you were making."

"Are you sure about what you saw?" Vincent's question came slowly pronounced as he held no expression on his face. He didn't want to react just yet, not until he's completely sure of what was said. He couldn't offered a mistake like this. Even though he wished from the bottom of his heart that it was really just a mistake.

Mr. Aberline only looked down and nodded once. It wasn't the kind of news he delivers to his clients every day. It took his a while to get over his shock and realize what he saw. He as well needed to be sure before informing Vincent of such news. He was embarrassed, almost sad to admit that what his client was thinking is true. His suspension was in place and it was the worst feeling in his life to have to agree with a client. As much as he's used to it, this time was simply unbearable.

Vincent took a seat on the white couch in the living room and his hand covered his face to hide his pain. He was so ashamed, disgusted, to believe that he neglected his son so much that it reached this state. "Mr. Aberline..." He found himself unable to finish the sentence because his voice faded and died in his throat. His eyes were turning red as he stopped himself from tearing.

The detective sat on the opposite couch while keeping his eyes on the man lazily. He knew he had to explain in detail and he knew how much it will drive the knife deeper in his heart. He took a small breath and cleared his throat. Using his professional voice and detaching himself from the situation "I followed Mr. Michaelis like you asked. Your son, Ciel, was driven from here to a private building downtown. I wasn't able to get in, the receptionist said I must have scheduled appointment with whoever I'm going to see. I didn't want Mr. Michaelis to know who I was so I refused to call the pent house where he was staying." He paused to see how Vincent was taking it all in then continued "After that I waited in the parking lot which was available to visitors. Mr. Michaelis left very shortly after his arrival and I waited until night fall. That's when he came back around eight, again I waited and nothing happened. Today, Mr. Michaelis left for work a little later and Ciel was accompanying him." When he paused this time, it wasn't to see a reaction. It was because he needed a little time to react. It wasn't something he expected to say to a client.

"Mr. Aberline, we already established the basis so just tell me exactly what you saw." Vincent's tone was serious and demanding. He was impatient and he didn't care what the detective thought of his behavior.

"They were being intimate, and then they both got into the car and-excuse me Mr. Phantomhive but I'm not very comfortable talking about that part." He took a deep breathe "But after that, Ciel left the car and Mr. Michaelis left for work. Then I came straight here." He stated with obvious nervousness, like he was introducing himself to a class in middle school.

Vincent took a breath like he was drowning. His eyes turned teary and his hand covered his face again. It wasn't self-blame as much as anger. Anger at himself, at Sebastian, and mostly at Rachel. They both lived with her, how can she not have noticed something like this. It was driving him crazy to think that this was happening under his roof, his family house, his wife's house. He knew that it wouldn't help to blame Rachel but not blaming someone felt worse. She raised Ciel, Sebastian was her husband, how can she not know. How can she not be suspicious about anything even the least bit?

"I took pictures as a proof because I assumed you'll need them when you go to the police." Aberline stated as he pulled a small squared file from his inner chest pocket and placed it on the table between them.

Vincent still wasn't able to look at the man and he just wiped his eyes quickly "Thank you very much Mr. Aberline, your work is very much appreciated. I'll write you a check with the rest of the money right away." Vincent just wanted to think about something else for one minute. He needed his head to be clear of how badly he wanted to mutilate Sebastian so he can think clearly and talk to Rachel in a civil manner.

"There's no rush with the money Mr. Phantomhive. You can send the check later on. I'll be taking my leave now." Abberline didn't understand how Vincent felt, no one but him and Rachel can feel this way. But he was doing his best to understand. He just delivered the worst news he can deliver to a father. He's been on cheating cases before, but this wasn't cheating, this was child molesting and he's never had to tell a parent that their child is being sexually abused by a man. Aberline stood up and gave a quick goodbye smile before heading to the door.

Vincent didn't bother to react or say one word to the man. He was done talking now. The only words that can come out of his mouth are what he will be saying to the police. He waited patiently for Rachel to come downstairs as he only became more aggravated and angry. The file the held the proof was sitting in front of him and all he could do was stare. They were making him angry without seeing them. He didn't want to know how he'll feel if he opened that file.

When Rachel came downstairs she was fully dressed and ready to go. She had a lunch date and Vincent asked to meet her quickly before the date. He didn't know that such news will be delivered today. He only wanted to discuss Sebastian and Ciel's relationship a little further.

She furrowed her eyebrows when she saw the pale expression on his face. He was without color and his eyes were clearly red. She walked to the couch and sat where Aberline was sitting, quickly glancing at the file before looking at her ex "What's the matter?" She asked, a little worried.

"You said they were always like this." He stated with a clearly angry eyes. His tone was accusing Rachel because the last time they talked about this she said that they're fine and there's nothing to worry about. She said that Ciel likes Sebastian because he's the father he's never had. She said it was Vincent's fault for not being around.

Rachel looked more confused now "Who are we talking about? Is everything alright Vincent?" She asked, still worried and a little scared by the way he was acting.

"Open the file." That was all he could say that wasn't fury and unbelievably angry. He wanted to stay calm so he can finish the conversation and reach a point where he doesn't want to blame Rachel anymore.

She looked at the file; she leaned forward and looked up at him as he asked for an explanation with eyes when he cut her "Why? What's in-"

"Just open the goddamn file Rachel! Everything is not alright so open the file." He exclaimed with widened eyes, making Rachel flinch.

"Alright, calm down a bit Vincent." She reached for the file and placed it on her lap, slowly opening it and taking out the few photos inside. It took her a while to realize what she was looking at but it suddenly hit her. She knew who the two people in the photos are but what they were doing made her just stare in confusion. Her mind was taking too long to get used to what she's looking at. "Vin...Vincent...what is this?" Her voice was so shaky and faded. The photos were thrown away at the table in disgust and her body was frozen with shock. Her eyes couldn't look anywhere and became more hazy with tears.

"You-You said..." He couldn't finish and stood up quickly "I'm calling the police!" He changed the subject so he doesn't place blame. He knew she must be feeling horrible as it is. This happened under her nose and she didn't need anyone to remind her.

"My baby...my poor baby..." She cried with her hands on her eyes. She wasn't silent anymore. Her cries were loud enough to echo in the room but it was fine. If Vincent choose to be angry, she had no choice; all she could do was blame herself because this was her fault.

The door to the living room was opened slowly and a blonde head peaked through, checking the surrounding before walking in "Mom, are you ok?" Alois asked with guard. He was carefully making his way to where his mother was sitting.

Vincent quickly reached to the table and snatched the photos away, recomposing himself to look as normal as possible. "It's alright Alois. Your mother is just feeling a little ill." He lied with the most convincing look he can muster.

Rachel looked up and tried to wipe her tears away as quickly as she can "Don't worry sweetie. I'm just having a little trouble. Nothing to worry about." She smiled and gulped, looking at him to see if he was convinced.

The blonde was still looking worried "Ok..."

"Why don't you go to your room while your mother and I finish talking." Vincent requested politely. Taking a step towards the blonde, still painting a fake smile on his face. Alois did exactly what he was told and left the room, but in hesitation. He thought that they were having a fight and his father made his mother cry. He wasn't feeling very comfortable leaving them alone but he didn't have much choice.

It wasn't supposed to feel this way, only yesterday he felt that he had nothing to look forward to since Sebastian isn't even home, today, he feels worse than ever about having to be without the man for a week. Ciel had started working on his homework because he didn't have time for it yesterday. He felt so bored and he never feels bored when doing homework. The first week he spent without Sebastian was fine only because he was looking forward to this weekend. Now, he has to convince himself to look forward to this every week which will be harder than he thought. He can't get used to living without him when he spent the last five years living together, eating together, sometimes sleeping in the same bed, and most importantly see each other every day.

The list of the things wrong with this relationship can go on forever but Ciel always knew that if he wanted it to work than he needs to make more than few sacrifices. Including acting like father and son in public, not being able to tell anyone, not being able to have legitimate reasons for why he misses Sebastian so much or why he wants to see him. The most annoying sacrifice is having to put up with all the women and sometimes men who flirt with Sebastian. Not only does he have to pretend it's ok when it's happening in front of him, it also brings down his self-esteem by fifty percent each time. And he can't keep telling Sebastian about it because the first few times it was cute as Sebastian would call it but after a while he started getting annoyed by it. Ciel had to pretend that he's not jealous or intimidated because that's what adults do. He knew he wasn't an adult but Sebastian was too busy to have that conversation, the one where he admits Ciel is a child and needs to be treated that way sometimes even if he says otherwise.

Before Ciel knew it, it was lunch time. It was time to go home. He knew that Sebastian was probably on his way back to drive him home. Rachel made it very clear that she still wants to have family dinner every Sunday and she can't do that if Ciel isn't home by then. Sebastian's lunch would be cut in half but he didn't look at it that way. He just found that it's better to see Ciel one last time and maybe get invited for lunch at the Phantomhives because he knew Ciel would cling to him. Ciel backed all his paper work and made sure he didn't forget any clothes or personal belongings before dumping his bag on the bed and going back to the living room where he sat in his knees backwards on the couch where he can face the door, watching it and waiting for Sebastian. He felt so idiotic and childish but it was what he looked forward to in the next half hour.

The door knob turned and Ciel's head perked up and a grin slowly appeared on his face. He couldn't help but feel his heart beat faster. He watched the tall dark figure walk through the door with a smile then close it behind him. His rubies met Ciel's deep blue and the boy jumped off the couch, pacing to the door and hugging Sebastian with all his might. The adult couldn't hold a chuckle at the cute reaction. He's been away for only few hours but the welcome he received made him think otherwise.

"I want to stay with you." Ciel's words were heard even though they were muffled by the coat he buried his face in. His hands were tightening and he didn't want to look up because his blush would be reviled. He wasn't embarrassed to admit how much he'll miss Sebastian; he was embarrassed by the fact that he's being childish again. "I'll miss you daddy."

Sebastian gently pushed the small frame off of him so he can kneel down and be on the same eye level as Ciel. He had a soft smile on his lips and his eyes were clearly not happy. It was more than overwhelming to hear Ciel be so honest about his feelings. It wasn't something he can hear every day so it meant a lot. His large hand cupped Ciel's cheek and he leaned closer to rest their foreheads against each other's. "My little baby, you just have to be patient like we talked about. Before you know it, we can spend as much nights together as you like." He felt a small twitch in his member and he cursed himself for it.

Ciel took a breath to keep his body heat in check. He was fully aware of how red he must be and he was ashamed to admit that his body was hiving heat waves in the wrong direction. "But it's such a long time to wait." A pout was slowly making its way to his lips and he was getting cuter by the second "I want to be with you now." He stated in a lower tone, not wanting to admit it. He brought his hands to rest on Sebastian's shoulders.

Sebastian chuckled lightly "Don't tempt me, kitten." He stroked his cheek softly and placed a kiss on his lips, just tasting it. Making Ciel close his eyes wanting it to last longer but being denied. The teenager took a breath-like moan and pushed his face a little closer, asking for more. Sebastian sighed inwardly, keeping a steady rhythm as he brushed the boy's hair "I'll call you every day, that's a promise. You just have to wait, it'll be worth it." Sebastian wasn't completely sure of the truth in his words. He might have felt this way but it doesn't mean that waiting will be the answer.

Ciel's hands were wrapped around the man's shoulders and his face buried in his neck. He didn't want to disagree no matter how much he believed it. He can't take this conversation in many directions. He either takes the shortcut and agrees, or disagrees and leave angry. He didn't want to leave angry because he knows it will be one more week before they can make up. Spending so much time without knowing how Sebastian feels is devastating. Sebastian can feel the body shiver a little as an attempt to keep his tears in and he held him closer to his chest. Ciel looked at the door in front of him "You won't get tired of me?" He paused to let the question sink in and felt the adult tense a little. "If I wait, won't you get bored of me?" It was a simple and innocent question no matter how Sebastian looked at it. Ciel would still be insecure because his lover is a man, not a child with the same limitations.

Sebastian pulled the boy back so he can see his face; he wanted to look into his eyes just to prove how much he means to him. He didn't want to take a chance with Ciel, just because he chose to ignore it doesn't mean he's not aware of his insecurity. "Why would you say that? How can I ever get tired of you?" He sighed and placed a gentle smile on his face, encouraging the boy to smile as well. "I promised to wait until you're older but I won't wait alone so you have to be a good boy and wait as well." A long kiss was pressed against Ciel's lips and they both closed their eyes for few seconds.

Ciel broke away first and looked into the scarlet eyes, gulping to keep calm. Not able to know why he's so nervous. His stomach was churning and twisting so badly, it felt like walking into a class room for the first time in front of complete strangers. It was such unpleasant feeling; he wanted it to go away. He nodded slightly and took a breath to calm himself down "O-ok."

It always amazed Sebastian how much Ciel can change when he wants something. The innocent side of him never faded, it just hid, until he felt like he needed it, it would come out then. It always worked effectively when he wanted to ask for something, especially the things he knew where too much to ask for. Sebastian pulled the boy to his chest again and held tight for a while, just to assure him. He was very aware that Ciel can't be patient at this age. He wanted everything and he wanted it now. The only way to make him wait is by reminding him of the outcome every once and the while. "We'll be alright." His hands let go and a warm smile painted on his lips "Go get your bag."

Ciel didn't want to let go, he was feeling so horrible for no apparent reason. He just wanted to hold Sebastian tight until the feeling disappears. He didn't know what to name it; it was very uncomfortable and scary. Something that made him want to be with someone at all times. It seemed like such a long time to be alone when he goes as gets his bag. Nonetheless, he swallowed the feeling and replaced it with as much of an honest smile as he can pull off at the moment. He walked to the bedroom slowly with his heart bounding in his ear.

It felt like the longest journey he's ever taken. He wanted to turn and look at Sebastian but resisted the urge by walking faster. When he entered the room, he just stared at his bag lying on the bed. Every cell in his body was refusing to accept how lonely he's feeling right now. He knew he was being over dramatic, it wasn't the end of the relationship but it felt like it. It felt like he's being ripped away from Sebastian's arms. How can he explain something like that to him? Sebastian would just say it's hormones, after all, more than half of his feelings can be blamed on his hormones. He picked up his bag and heard the front door open. A few butterflies settled in his stomach and the feeling returned. He threw the bag over his shoulder and rushed out of the bedroom. He wanted to walk to the door and see Sebastian waiting. Nothing would make him feel better than seeing that gentle smile.

With every step, his heart started beating faster; it was as if he's riding a roller-coaster. He took a deep breath and stood at the end of the doorway, where he can see the door but Sebastian couldn't see him. A knot quickly settled on his eyebrows when he found two large men standing outside the door, both dressed formally and in black. He was so afraid to be seen like his life depended on it. The men didn't look so scary but gave such intimidating vibe.

Sebastian's face couldn't be seen but Ciel could tell that he was feeling the same uneasiness. He was holding the door with one hand, not giving the men any room to see inside. Ciel carefully examined the two men's faces. One had a grey hair but seemed around the same age as Sebastian, he had a scare dragged across his nose starting from his right eye. The other man had a long red hair like fire. He was wearing glasses with red rims and had green eyes that shined against his hair. The red headed looked annoyed or even bored. While the grey haired one had a small deviant smile on his face that Ciel found very suspicious, it send shivers down his spine. Sebastian was still feeling like a kid surrounded by adults. It showed a little in his face and even Ciel could sense it from far.

The two men reached for the inner chest pocket around the same time and Sebastian watched carefully. About ninety percent of his brain knew exactly what they will pull out and he was accepting it. But there was a ten percent that made his heart feel like pulling out of his chest. He never thought this would happen so soon, he never thought it would even happen. He's been very careful, living under the same roof as Ciel's mother and was able to keep it a secret without a problem. It became so hard the minute they got a divorce. It was very less suspicious when he was seen as the stepfather.

The two men had pulled out a badge with their ID's on one side, and their police badge on the other. The grey haired man talked first "Agent Undertaker and this is agent Sutcliff." His head tilted towards the red head. His voice wasn't as deep or intimidating as Sebastian thought. The two agents placed their badges back in their pockets and their gazes met Sebastian. Sebastian didn't realize how pale he was turning and how short on breath Ciel was. "We would like you to come with us to the situation to answer some questions." It was Sutcliff who spoke now.

Sebastian didn't want to let his guard down too soon. There was a chance that whatever they wanted him for something unrelated to him and Ciel. But at the same time it could be what he thinks it is and the agents are throwing him off by acting settle. If they were really here to question him about Ciel then they should look more angry. Sebastian doesn't know anyone, beside Claude, that would react well to hearing such news. Undertaker looked up and his eyes were barely seen but Sebastian could tell he was looking at him; he seemed to be waiting for Sebastian to say something. Sebastian unconsciously closed the door a little "Question me about what, if I may ask?" He kept his tone lower than usual of fear of having Ciel hear him.

Ciel's heart kept beating faster and his bag dropped to the floor. He wanted more than anything to not believe what he's hearing. If these two agents were here to take Sebastian in because of him, he'll never forgive himself. This scenario never crossed his mind, that Sebastian would ever get in trouble because they're in relationship. Ciel did his best to try and even his breath but he knew at attack was going to take over his body.

Sutcliff seemed to be enjoying the situation more than he should and he wasn't trying to hide it. "Mr. Michaelis, you are being brought up on charges against child molesting." He said it in such non-caring way as if it's the most normal thing. He wasn't affected, he wasn't angry, he didn't have any feelings. He was very surprisingly detached. Sebastian was taken aback by the blunt words; he wasn't surprised by the accusation as much as someone finding out about it in the first place.

Ciel suddenly couldn't feel his heart anymore. It wasn't racing, he was breathing fine, and his chest wasn't painfully hurting at all. It was like his heart was ripped away from his chest, he couldn't hear it beating and he couldn't feel it either. It was such an impossible feeling to experience but there was an unbearable pain in the hole where his heart was. His legs moved on their own and dragged him to stand in the middle of the hallway and the two agents' eyes drifted to him. Sebastian followed their eyes and closed his eyes when he realized who they were looking at. His grip tightening around the door knob and he turned slowly. He was unable to meet the sapphires and he just started at nothing.

Ciel felt tears gathering in his eyes and his vision became hazy. It was as if every minute he spent with Sebastian was rushing back to his mind and crushing it. It was more than devastating; a mind breaking pain was taking over his head that spread from his heart. All the time he had with Sebastian was like it never existed, it felt like all the memories were rushing back just to disappear and leave him an empty shell of himself. His eyes searched for the rubies for some reassurance, just some eye contact to make this pain go away. When he wanted to say something his voice wasn't there anymore. He couldn't find it and he needed it more than anything. He wanted to reach out and say something, to call for Sebastian and just hear that everything will be alright. He knew that nothing will be alright again but he was allowed to hope. When he finally opened his mouth, he was only able come up with one word, he knew that nothing else would be heard right now. "Sebastian..."

"Ciel, I'm going you ask you a question that I asked during our first session. Why are you telling me all this?" Once Ciel had finished talking, Dr. Blanc needed few minutes to let it all soak in. It wasn't how she imagined the story would end. It was the way she hoped for, but just from listening to Ciel talk, she made the mistake of assuming that there was a happy ending.

Ciel seemed unable to breathe, his grips were tightening and his throat was closing, nervousness was taking over his body as if it was the first time he'd confessed to Sebastian "Because I need to. I can't tell anyone else...simply because I can't trust anyone to keep it a secret. But you get paid to keep it a secret."

"That's all?" She asked, very aware that there must've been another reason. Something so impacting happing to a mere child must leave a devastating affect and Ciel was again refusing to admit it.

But Ciel did admit it; he can be in denial for a limited time. There are things that he sees even if he didn't want to. "No. That's not all. The reason I'm telling you is because I need to move on. I've spent six years grieving on a relations that practically didn't exist and a man that...a man that I will never know if he loved me or not. I need to move on and the only way to do that is to say it out loud." He was obviously holding back his emotions; his words were said blank and empty when they should've been hurt and angry.

"Ciel, I don't think that just by saying it than it will happen. My work isn't done yet." Dr. Blanc's professional opinion was as obvious as the sunlight even if Ciel refused to see it.

Ciel shifted in his seat a little and pointed his gaze at her "Well, I don't pay you for your opinion, I pay you to listen. Hence the 'you ask questions and I answer' conversations." He said very bluntly. "I don't want you to tell me that he didn't love me. Because if you do then—I just need to believe that he does no matter how unrealistic of an idea it is, I need to believe it. I can't possibly live with myself if I'm told that the man I fell for never cared for me. So please let me live in my imaginary world where there's a slight chance that I was loved back." He lowered his head and Dr. Blanc immediately knew why. She kept silent and looked away. She couldn't afford to hurt this kid anymore. He broke. He finally broke and admitted that this relationship wasn't really a relationship, but as a result it's breaking him apart. They boy wiped his tears quickly and recomposed himself to face the doctor.

"What happened to Sebastian, Ciel? Where is he now?" As much as she hated to ask, it was an inevitable question.

"He was freed last year….but I haven't seen him. I don't want to." He answered slowly, hesitantly.

"why?" She asked while looking down at her notebook and writing. "Are you afraid he'll reject you?" She looked up and met his sapphires.

The boy looked away quickly "I'm just afraid...there's no reason. Just irrational fear."

"There's no such thing as irrational fear, there must be a reason." She sighed "You're afraid of rejection and it's fine. You're afraid he doesn't love you anymore or to find out that he never did. Being afraid won't get you anywhere. If you don't confront him, this fear will never go away, you'll never move on and you'll never ever be able to have a normal life."

"I've managed just fine for the past six years. Sorry Dr. Blanc but your work is done here." The boy stood up and didn't meet her eyes; he looked down and thanked the doctor, hearing her response. He walked to the door and opened it slowly, aware of her eyes on him then walked out. Leaving the doctor alone with her notes. The patient that needed help the most just slipped away and she couldn't help but feel that it was her fault.

A/N: This message is for everyone who said that Sebastian doesn't love Ciel. Well, he did but he could never show it. That's the point of the story. This story isn't about happiness or love. It's about how Ciel was affected from never finding out whether Sebastian loved him or not.
Yes, Sebastian was kind of the bad guy and it left Ciel in denial. It wasn't by accident that I made Ciel disagree with Dr. Blanc on everything. And it wasn't by accident that I made Sebastian never clear about his feelings. It was all planned.

That being said. Thanks for everyone who read, reviewed, didn't judge, and simply enjoyed.

I DO NOT support child abuse of any kind, emotional, physical, or sexual.