Title: Seducing Senju Hashirama

Author: Tuliharja

Summary: While Madara decides to seduce Hashirama, Hashirama is scared for his life. Meanwhile, Tobirama wants to kill Madara for scaring his brother and Mito… Hmm, How is Mito involved in all this? Crackness.

Disclaimer: NARUTO belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I'm merely writing fan fiction about it.

Author's note: Thank you RmsThakoer for betaing this.

Part 1

Plans

Madara had a plan to finally beat Hashirama and gain the Hokage's title, or make Hashirama at least give it to him, if nothing else. The idea had come to him while talking with Mito, when he had heard her complaining about rumors that concerned himself and Hashirama. Madara had also learned about the little fact that the great Senju Hashirama did apparently swing that way.

Madara had been somewhat surprised when Mito had implied it, because Hashirama hadn't ever shown such signs. But that had given him his brilliant idea of trying to seduce Hashirama, so that once Hashirama was all his, Madara could just use his influence to rule Konoha. It was the perfect plan. It couldn't fail, except, maybe, if Mito stepped in and ruined everything. But if her secret yaoi collection implied anything…the Uchiha was pretty sure Mito would most likely just squeal from happiness. Or at least Madara assumed so.

Okay, so maybe his perfect plan wasn't that perfect. It was still a good plan, so Madara still decided to carry on with it, the first step being that he would try to seduce Hashirama with his natural charm while the man worked. Except, the very moment Madara decided to execute that first step, he realized something crucial: he had never tried wooing anyone. It had always been the other way around. Of course, he had never been interested, because he'd never actually had time for any of that business.

So that was why Madara was now standing outside Mito's doorway. It was only logical that he would ask Mito for help because A) she was female B) Hashirama seemingly worshipped her, and there must be something that made that so, and C) he was sure Mito would help, because they were friends, and she still had that secret yaoi collection.

Madara knocked Mito's door which was quickly opened to reveal said woman with wide eyes full of surprise.

"Madara…what are you doing here?" she sweetly asked her friend, gesturing for him come inside.

"I…um…" Madara started as he realized as much as Mito would squeal over his and her husband's possible forbidden love, he couldn't just blurt out his plan. It was, after all, evil and not so romantic, so perhaps little white lie was in order.

"I need you to teach me how to woo someone," Madara started, causing Mito to raise an eyebrow. "It's another male…and I really-"

But before Madara could finish his explanation, Mito clapped her hands together, eyes shining in an excited manner.

"I'll teach you everything," she stated, dragging the Uchiha away with her, causing bubbling fear to well up in the pits of Madara's stomach.

He ignored that feeling though. Madara Uchiha knew no fear. What was the worst thing that could happen?

Oh Madara… You have no idea…