IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: Hey guys, so there are only four more chapters left in this fic (just warning you now that the second to last chapter will be VERY long for a special reason…) But I decided to do something cool… after all of the chapters are done and posted I will be posting a bonus chapter for anyone who had any questions about this fic, such as where did I get the idea from (its actually a funny story so someone PLEASE ask me that) and I will gladly answer any questions you have!:) I also want to apologize for acting so bitchy. It was my decision to write this fic and put it online, and if you feel that it needs some constructive criticism, go ahead and tell me in the reviews. I cant make everyone like this story because everyone has their own opinions and I respect that. The only thing I ask is if you want to post some constructive criticism, please find a way to it nicely. I also have a question for all of you: What details do you want to be included in the sequel? Leave me a suggestion in the reviews! Thank you my lovely readers and Be Brave.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 11: Holding on

"He moved into an apartment on one of the top stories of the Hancock Building" Shauna tells me. She and Zeke sit across from me on the couch, as I lean against the wall. I asked them if either of them knew where Tobias had gone. I haven't spoken to him in over three months.

I raise my eyebrows. "Did he somehow forget his fear of heights?" I ask, sarcastically.

Zeke and Shauna both shrug. "He wouldn't tell us why he moved in that particular spot. He hasn't been himself since…" I bite my lip and nod. "Okay" I almost whisper.

Zeke stands up and walks over to me. "Tris, you need to know that it has nothing to do with you. Him moving to that place is not your fault. Not at all."

I want to believe him, but I can't. I have to find out from Tobias himself.

I want to. So I will.

A few nights later, I travel through the city to the Hancock Building. As I pass the abnegation sector, I notice that the cracked pavement I walked along to get to school on most days, is gone, replaced by a strip of black pebbles. Every place I have come to know is changing. My life is being transformed into ways I could've never imagined. I don't know if I like it or I don't.

The Hancock Building is so high; I have to tilt my head back to see the top. I walk inside, clutching the address that Shauna wrote down for me in my sweaty palm. The elevator ride up nauseates me, and I have to close my eyes and grip the railing inside to steady it.

Finally, the elevator halts to a stop and the doors open. My head spinning, I stumble out into the aisle. My eyes drift out the large window to my right. The height from this point is enough to make me back away. How can Tobias handle living in a place like this?

I continue down the hallway until I notice that one of the doors is wide open, with dim lighting leaking out of it. I peek inside, and Tobias is standing in the kitchen, his back facing me. There are boxes surrounding almost every inch of the apartment. Some are open, but the rest are sealed shut. I take a step forward into the doorway.

"Hey" I say.

Tobias turns around. He wears a hard expression on his face. But when he sees me, it softens slightly. "Hey" he mumbles back.

My eyes scan the apartment. It has a small kitchen, with a living room directly next to it. There's hardly any furniture. Just a few chairs and a brown couch. The walls are painted tan, with some chipping off near the top.

"When did you move here?" I ask. Tobias walks out of the kitchen carrying a box. "About a week ago. I still haven't got everything unpacked yet." I nod.

"Need help?" I offer. Tobias shifts the box he's carrying into another arm to lift up another. "I'm not making you work in your condition" he says, nodding to my swollen belly.

"I'm pregnant, not dying" I say. "I'm fine, here, just let me help." I bend forward to scoop up a box from the floor, embarrassed as I strain to stand straight.

Tobias shakes his head. "Tris" he says taking the box from me. "Don't hurt yourself." He carries the boxes to the end of the hallway and leans against a door that leads to a balcony outside. He looks at me. "You coming?" he asks.

Tobias leads me out onto the balcony. The night air is thick and humid due to earlier's rainfall. I grip the railing so hard my knuckles turn white, and I close my eyes reminding myself over and over that I can't fall.

Tobias leans his arms against the railing and looks straight ahead. "It's not much" he says. "But it works."

I force my eyes open, and look down. We are about forty stories up. I feel bile rise in my throat and swallow it down. How can Tobias handle this height when I'm about to throw up?

I sigh, and let go of the railing with one hand and let it drop to my side. "Tobias" I say, "out of all places, why here? The height is dizzying, and with your fear of them."

For a few seconds he is silent, and a light gust of wind blows past us.

"I went into my fear landscape about a month ago. Still have four fears, but this time, it was worse than ever. I still had to watch you die. Something was different. Horribly different. You died in the hands of Matthew, your blood soaking his shirt. And as you continued to bleed, he didn't do anything to stop it. I tried to get to you. But I couldn't. It was like a barrier holding me back as I struggled towards you, until eventually you just…" His voice trails off, and he puts his head down. "I moved here because I figured if my worst fear came to life and I could manage that, or at least try, I could conquer this fear, which doesn't seem so bad anymore."

For a few moments, all I can do is stare at him. "What was your worst fear?" I ask him, even though I already know what he'll say.

"Losing you" he replies quietly. "I can't lose you, Tris, not again. Especially to another boy who doesn't care about you nearly as much as I do."

His words hurt. They make me feel as if I am the reason he is making this unnecessary change to his life. How could I not notice the bags under his eyes, or his unwashed, unkempt hair? And after all he's been through there's no reason I should put him through this. Because I still love him. And I'll never stop.

"You haven't lost me, Tobias. But I don't like what's happening to us. You shouldn't worry about Matthew. He doesn't matter nearly enough as much as you do to me. You know that."

Tobias's eyes drift down to my belly. "Tobias" I say sternly. "You know that. I made a mistake, and I blame myself every day for it. I didn't mean for it to affect our relationship like this, and neither did Matthew. He's a good person, and this is just as much my fault as it is his. It's not like you haven't made mistakes in the past."

He looks up at me, and his eyes swim in their sockets. Eventually, he sighs and stands up straight, and grabs both my hands, lacing his fingers with mine.

"I'm sorry" he says.

"I know" I say.

Tobias grabs my chin lightly and pulls it up so that I am staring straight into his eyes. "Just promise me something" he says. I nod. "Okay" I say.

"I won't let you go" he says "so don't let go of me." I place both my hands on his cheeks, and sigh against his neck. "I promise" I tell him .

Tobias smiles and presses his lips to mine. "I love you, Tris" he whispers.

"I love you, too" I whisper back, kissing him back hard.

And in that moment, I come to realize why I truly love him. It's because no matter how much pain we go through, or how much our relationship bends with every conflict we have, we mend it. We choose each other over and over again, discovering more about ourselves that we have ever known. We will always come back to each other.