The soft buzz of a television filled the otherwise quiet living room, morning light pouring in through the cracks of a thick curtain. The plasma TV glowed with colors of blue and red as a local news anchor reported a large fire in an apartment building that had killed three people yesterday night and had injured seven. It was the second one that week. Police suspected it to be the work of a single person, though no suspects had been identified yet.

A hand reached for the slim, black remote control sitting on the large mahogany coffee table with a glass cover on top, long fingers picking it up and quickly switching the channel. The hand belonged to a tall man lying on his white chenille sofa. A thick blue blanket covered him from his toes to his hips, his torso bare and the look in his clear blue eyes a bit drowsy, indicating he'd just woken up. His hair was abnormally messy, blond locks spread out over his forehead where they'd usually be combed into a neat side-parting.

Yesterday's shift had done a number on him; while he thankfully hadn't been assigned to deal with the burn victims the news anchor had been talking about before the channel had been switched, there had been a chain collision on a highway not far away from the hospital where he worked. It had happened during the middle of the night, which had drained him of sleep as he'd worked to fix fractured bones and stabilize the victims in the trauma department of his hospital. Usually his work as a trauma surgeon wasn't that exciting, as a huge chunk of his job consisted of general surgery since accidents like such collisions rarely happened, but when they did, it took a huge toll on him. None of his patients had died that day, thankfully.

That was always the worst part of his job—walking into the waiting room with lead for feet to look the relatives or friends of the patient in the eye and tell them their loved one hadn't made it. The bitter sense of guilt and failure that followed when he watched them crumble in front of him always chipped away at his psyche. He preferred it when people blamed him and became angry; he could handle anger and hatred. It was when they started weeping for their lost one that tore him up the most.

In the end he supposed yesterday hadn't been all that bad. He'd only been called in for the night when too many patients had been pouring in after the car accident—something quite amusing had happened a few hours before his shift to put him in a good mood.

Erwin rarely, if ever, used his phone for text messaging. He generally refrained from sending any and he received very little messages as well. Calling people was his preferred form of communication, so imagine his surprise when he received a strange text message from a completely unknown number.

He'd figured at the time that whoever it was must've made a mistake, and initially he'd been typing a text back stating they had the wrong number, until an idea occurred to him. Perhaps if the text message had been less blunt, he would've passed on it, but the crass language used in it had made him smile a bit in amusement. So he'd figured, why not play along for a bit?

His decision in conducting a harmless joke had resulted in the most absurd conversation he'd ever had, on phone or otherwise. Sassing a complete stranger and deriding them with blatant sarcasm had proven to be oddly relaxing. Of course he'd known this couldn't last and that the stranger would figure out soon enough that Erwin wasn't this "Isabel" they'd mistaken him for—he even fully intended on apologizing once they discovered the truth.

A movement on the ground then caught his eye as he stopped zapping through channels to glance down, spotting the black and orange colored ears of his cat barely visible from the edge of the sofa. There was a soft mewling, a call for attention, and he put the remote control down on the side of the couch, reaching out with his hand to pet the cat, though the animal took that as an invitation to jump onto his lap instead.

"Charlie," he groaned, not in the mood to give the cat any attention. She ignored him completely, lying down and curling up on his lap, the vibrations of her content purrs a somewhat comforting sensation. Aside from the patches of black and orange on her head, both colors stretching out over her eyes, the rest of her fur was pure white aside from the black end of her tail. She was quite the demanding queen and sometimes he thought she was under the impression she owned him, and not the other way around. In a way, he supposed she'd be right.

Sighing and turning his attention back to the TV, Erwin picked up the remote again and was about to turn it off when his phone made a short, melodic noise that briefly startled Charlie as her head shot up and her ears twitched, big blue eyes fixated on the electronic device on top of the small table in front of them. Erwin had received another text message.

Putting the remote aside for the second time, he picked up his phone instead, turning the screen on. As expected, it was from the unknown number from yesterday, and its contents made Erwin chuckle, Charlie staring at him through lidded eyes as if telling him to keep quiet.

'Who the fuck are you?'

With such a brusque question thrown at him, his previous intent on apologizing flew straight out the window as he immediately wrote a reply, his fingers slow as he wasn't accustomed to using the touchscreen on his large, white smartphone to type things. The capitalization and proper use of a question mark told him he'd agitated the stranger quite a bit, which only increased his amusement at the situation.

'Technically I should be asking that, since you sent me a text first.'

Erwin knew it was juvenile to enjoy this as much as he was, but he rarely had the chance to toy with people as he was often too consumed in his work and most of his social interactions were very professional.

Charlie yawned on his lap, shaking her head a bit before putting her chin down on her folded white paws, slowly closing her eyes again and attempting to sleep for a second time. She was interrupted again from the noise Erwin's phone made when he got a text back, and he ran his fingers over the curve of her back to soothe her while he read the incensed text, which was quickly followed up by another question.

'Stop fucking around.

Why did you pretend?'

Erwin had to pause and think about his response for that one, wondering whether he should be honest or tease the stranger some more. He decided for a response somewhere in between.

'I thought it would be entertaining.'

It took the stranger two minutes to reply.

'You're an asshole.'

'You lack manners.'

'At least I'm not a liar.'

He didn't quite have a retort for that one, but he did have something to give him the edge with in this battle of words either way.

'If you really think so badly of me, why don't you stop texting me and delete my number?'

Erwin waited patiently—and curiously—for the stranger to send him a text back. He imagined them seething at his question, and mentally tried to piece together what kind of a person he was dealing with. The brisk way in which they communicated, rich with foul wording, had him leaning towards the stranger being a male for the time being, and Erwin decided to refer to them as such from that point on. He had no idea where to begin on forming an image of the stranger's appearance, however, and opted to leave that aside.

Five minutes had passed, and Erwin almost reached to put his phone back on the coffee table again when it made a noise and he'd finally received something back. Eager to see what answer the stranger had come up with, he quickly unlocked his screen and checked his messages.

'i guess you caught my interest'

That was certainly a surprising development—

'and also because i want to find you and kick your face in'

—or not so surprising. Either way, the stranger had reverted back to his previous texting style, ignoring punctuation and capitalization, which showed that he'd probably cooled down a bit by now.

'I didn't mean to anger you to such an extent.'

'i'm not angry'

'You threatened to kick my face in.'

'like i said

i'm not angry'

Erwin seemed to be dealing with an aggressive guy, though he was skeptical of how honest the other person was being. He was probably just venting his frustration on being toyed with like that, so he had to be someone who valued his pride a great deal. Whether he was actually that physical or not, was impossible for Erwin to know.

'Should we start over, then?' he suggested, having becoming intrigued with this new mystery of trying to piece the stranger together. It was a unique experience for him, and a whole lot more interesting than wasting his time away watching television or browsing the internet when he wasn't working.

'why should we'

'I caught your interest, didn't I?

You caught mine as well.

I'd like to get to know you better.'

'and then what'

'I don't know. We might become friends.'

'so what, you wanna hold hands and sing campfire songs or some shit'

The soft laughter that followed seemed to irritate Charlie as she shifted on his lap, eyeing him in a way that made him think she was glaring. Erwin had gotten so caught up in the conversation that he'd forgotten to get up and pull his curtains back now that it was morning. It couldn't be helped, really; it was his first time meeting someone with this kind of attitude and personality. Of course the stranger might be completely different in person, when they were no longer protected under the cover of anonymity, but for now the exchanges the two of them had had intrigued Erwin to no end.

'Nothing that dramatic.'

'i don't even know your name'

'Do you need to?'

There was a slight break, Erwin staring at his screen and waiting for another bubble of text to pop up. He figured it would be more interesting if they kept things as vague as possible. A relationship with another person based solely on the emotional aspect of it was an interesting idea. For someone with his aesthetics and demeanor, people usually couldn't help but approach him based on his looks or charisma. This was an opportunity to see if he could actually connect with someone with lack of such elements.

'i guess not

then what do i call you instead'

The stranger's reply had come about three minutes later. Erwin fleetingly wondered whether the other had been busy with something else or had been contemplating an answer. Either way, the conversation was going again.

'Make something up.'

'Mr. Royal-Pain-In-My-Ass

That One Asshole

Sir Dickhead

Captain Dickhead

Commander Dickhead

President Dickhead

King of All Dickheads'

'I like Commander Dickhead.'

'that's it then

guess I was right'

'Right about what?'

'your gender'

Ah. So Erwin wasn't just dealing with some brute with a head full of sawdust. The stranger had to be at least moderately intelligent.

'Yes, you were right. I'm assuming you're male as well?'

'why do you write like that'

'Like what?'

'like you're a fifty yo college professor'

'Sorry. I'm not actually fifty, or a college professor. I'm just eloquent.'

'ass'

'By the way, who is this Isabel you mistook me for at first?'

'a friend of mine'

'Just a friend?'

'what's it to you'

Erwin wondered if he'd crossed a line there. 'I was just curious.'

'do you know what you're calling me yet'

The blatant change of subject told Erwin there was either something painful going on there, or—most likely—this person was bad with sentimental things like friendship. He thought about the other's question, pondering what kind of name would fit the stranger. Erwin was quite horrible with coming up with names, so he couldn't think of anything right off the bat.

For now, he saved the stranger's number in his contacts as "Unnamed".

'I saved you as Unnamed.'

'?

seriously?'

'I can't think of anything else right now.'

Charlie stirred in his lap, apparently having had enough of sleeping there as she got up, stretching her legs and jumping off. Erwin sighed, deciding to get up as well as his joints and muscles were starting to get stiff from lying in the same position for so long. He pulled the blanket off himself, getting up from the sofa with phone in hand and walking over to the windows, pulling the curtains back and getting a view of his small front yard surrounded by thick, perfectly trimmed hedges. The sunlight hitting his face made him squint, sharp but small tinges of ache irritating his retina as he looked away and quietly moved upstairs, to the bathroom. He put his phone away on the side of the sink as he turned on the faucet to wash his face and brush his teeth.

By the time he got done with that, his mouth feeling minty fresh and his face clean, he dried off with the towel with one hand as he checked his phone with the other. He could already tell this was going to end up turning into an addiction soon.

'…unnamed will do

isabel is a friend, but she's a close friend

that's all'

There was a gap of about two minutes between the first text and the next two. Erwin's question had probably gotten the other to consider his relationship with this Isabel, or reaffirm it in some way.

'You seem fond of her.'

'i don't know if "fond" is the right word

she's like a small puppy following me around'

'So she grew on you.'

'yeah

she did'

'What is she like?'

'she talks too much'

'I bet she looks up to you.'

'she does and she shouldn't'

'Why not?'

'i'm not a good role model'

'It seems like you consider her to be more like a little sister than a puppy.'

'same shit'

The stranger earned another chuckle from Erwin as he walked to his bedroom to get dressed, tossing his phone on his bed which was perfectly made and had been left untouched for weeks. He'd gotten so used to coming home from work, switching the TV on and falling asleep on the couch in front of it that he hardly slept in his bed anymore, if ever.

He walked over to his closet, opening it and pulling out a pair of dark jeans and a casual dark green sweater, getting a pair of socks from the drawers at the bottom as well. He wasn't planning on going out today, but Zoë had told him earlier at work that she, Nile and Mike might swing by today, so he figured he ought to clean up around his house and look presentable. There wasn't an awful lot to clean anyway.

After getting dressed, he took a peek at his phone again and briefly read over the past few texts they'd exchanged, something the stranger had said before catching his eye and prompting him to ask another question.

'Why aren't you a good role model?'

Slipping the phone in his pocket again, he went on to the kitchen to take care of the dishes. Charlie had moved to sleep on top of the windowsill in the living room by now, but once Erwin got done cleaning in the kitchen and brought out the vacuum cleaner, she bolted upstairs at the sight of it. He found her fear of the machine amusing, and while he'd attempted to get her used to thing, she wouldn't go anywhere near it no matter what he tried.

He didn't have to vacuum much, and after quickly sweeping over the kitchen as well he turned it off, putting it away in the small closet down the corridor near the front door where he kept everything else he used for cleaning. Looking over his living room from there, he was satisfied with the result, though he still had to put away the blanket he'd left on the couch.

Walking over to the sofa and taking out his phone at the same time, he looked for a reply.

'i made some bad choices in the past'

Frowning slightly, Erwin quickly typed something back.

'Do you regret them?'

'i do'

'So you recognize them as mistakes.'

'yes'

'Someone who acknowledges their mistakes and learns from them is a pretty good role model, in my opinion.'

He took a moment to fold the blanket and carry it to his bedroom, dropping it on his bed before he looked at his phone again. The response he got made him smile.

'maybe you're not a dickhead after all, commander'

Had Mike not plucked the phone out of his hand when he did, Erwin was sure Nile would've taken it instead and smashed it on the glass cover of the coffee table.

His guests had arrived, but even with his closest friends present Erwin couldn't help but check his phone and write quick texts back. After that first conversation, things between him and the unnamed man had progressed smoothly as they got to know each other more and more. Erwin had discovered the stranger was a cat-person after he'd mentioned Charlie to him and that the man always had Fridays off from work. Apparently he worked at a warehouse, and while neither of them had mentioned their specific age to each other, the stranger had told him (in not so polite terms) that he was in his early thirties, leading Erwin to believe his school career hadn't been a very successful one. Erwin, on his part, had replied that he himself was in his late thirties, and had told the other that he worked at a hospital, prompting a series of quite the amusing guesses. After a lot of teasing from the surgeon, 'Unnamed' had become impatient and had decided Erwin was whichever doctor specialized in "the shit-organ" as that would explain, quote, "the amount of shit you spew every three seconds".

None of his three friends had mentioned it at first when they'd arrived and had seen him sucked up into the text conversation he was having, but after about half an hour it had started wearing on them. To the point where Mike had now taken his phone away.

"Who were you texting anyway?" Zoë inquired curiously, sitting at the far end of the sofa. Erwin sat on the other end closest to the armchair Nile was occupying, while Mike sat in between him and Zoë, seated the slightest bit closer to Erwin.

"Someone I met yesterday." Erwin replied casually, ignoring the annoyed look Nile was giving him and looking back at the football match the TV was showing. When Zoë and Mike tried to take a peek at his phone's screen, however, Erwin quickly took the phone back and slipped it into his pocket instead. His own immediate reaction to this surprised him. It seemed he already thought of the conversation between him and 'Unnamed' to be something private and only meant to be seen by the two of them.

It almost felt like a guilty pleasure, a secret indulging that was gradually becoming something he could potentially invest himself in on an emotional level. It wasn't all teasing and name-calling; he felt like, with time, 'Unnamed' would open up to him. Erwin got the impression that he was someone that suppressed a lot of what he felt, and where better to vent such things than with a stranger? Of course Erwin wasn't so sure if he'd be comfortable with opening up in turn, but the other's straightforwardness and brutal honesty was quite refreshing.

"Oh, are you dating someone?" Zoë then guessed with a smirk, pulling his attention away from his thoughts about his new acquaintance and back towards her.

"No, we're just getting to know each other." he responded as indifferently as he could, leaning forward reaching for the tall glass of orange juice he'd poured for himself earlier.

"So a potential date, then?"

"I don't intend to do any dating, Zoë. It's purely platonic."

"Ah, how boring," she uttered with a deep sigh. Erwin ignored her, sipping from his beverage as he decided to focus on the game instead. Though, since he'd never been a big fan of football, he lost interest quite easily and instead tuned into Mike and Nile having started a conversation about the recent cases of arson. Nile, being the police commissioner of the Sina Police Department, usually would know plenty about such cases, but apparently the police had found very few leads as it was.

"Most of the blame is being pointed at local gangs, but they're just scape goats." Nile remarked, can of beer in hand. "As far as we know, none of the gangs around the city have any motive for the arson."

"Couldn't it just be some pyromaniac?"

"It could be anything at this point. It's hard to find the culprit behind a fire, since it tends to destroy any evidence on the scene. At least we know it wasn't some sort of gas leak." Both Erwin and Zoë weren't actively engaging in the conversation, though Zoë was too busy getting excited over the football match and Erwin was listening in silence.

Nile finished up his beer and put the can down on the table with a sharp thud, leaning back into his seat. "Blaming it on the gangs has become a routine now. Speaking of which, some morons think they've found the hide-out of Church's gang."

"That's the one that deals with the major drugs and stolen goods, isn't it?" Mike inquired, getting a curt nod from Nile in response. "So now what?"

"They wanna plan a bust. Idiots wanna storm in there with no evidence to arrest them for anything. It'll just end up being a pointless shoot-out and I'll have to clean up after it again."

Erwin was fast becoming disinterested in the conversation, and before he knew it his hand wandered off to his phone again, pulling it out of his pocket and checking it for messages. What he found there left him baffled for several seconds..

'hellow commmaAnder dickihead iiiim isaabeell are u like dating my big rbro lol

sorry im typin g like this farlan is trynna ta ke the phone from me omg

Dont mind Isabel shes an idiot. But really how did you guys meet, and why is your name commander dickhead ?

OMFGGGG FARLAN

COMMANDER DONT YOU LSITEN TO HIM HES AN ASSBUTT

lmfao big bros gonna kill us for this btw

Sorry, we took his phone and kind of invaded your privacy hope you dont mind.

COMMANDER ARE YOU HANDSOME?!

I also apologize for Isabels creepiness in advance we really dont need to know what you look like

Its been a while since she dated someone

OMG DONT BELIEVE HIM HES A HUGE LIAR OK I WAS ASKING FOR BIG BRO OK I HAVE HELLA GAME WITH THE DUDES

PUSSY GAME 2 STRONG

holy fucking shit

please pretend that never happened'

The last two messages were most likely from 'Unnamed', but the rest was definitely from his two friends. At this point Erwin didn't know whether the appropriate reaction was to laugh at this, as he felt tempted to do, or be embarrassed that other people had read their conversation. Considering a response, he thought about what the two friends had said—Erwin had definitely hit the nail on the head when he'd assumed 'Unnamed' and Isabel had a sibling-type of relationship. One thing they'd texted him, however stuck out more than the rest.

'I didn't know you were into other men.'

'i'm not'

'Ah, only women then?'

'no'

'No?'

'i never dated'

Erwin was a bit taken aback by that. Was the stranger asexual? Instead of replying in a serious manner, however, he decided to take a more teasing approach at the expense of the other's ego.

'I can see why, what with you calling people 'dickhead' the first time you meet them. You should work on your attitude.'

He didn't catch a response after that, fifteen minutes passing with no reply back. Zoë had turned off the match by that point and had put a zombie horror movie into Erwin's DVD player, Nile barely being able to watch while Zoë was quite enthusiastic and Mike showed a mix of curiosity and mild disgust. Erwin was mostly indifferent to it, instead deriving amusement from Nile's reactions. It wasn't until they were halfway through the movie that the phone he'd put back in his pocket buzzed again, and he quickly pulled it out to read the text he'd received.

'i changed my mind

you're a dickhead after all'