Chapter 1

The harder they fall

I would have died
I would have loved you all my life

You're losing your memory now
You're losing your memory now

...

"You're looking pale. It's there a shortage of rouge? Or can this wanness mean you've been missing me?"

"If I'm pale, it's your fault. Not because I've been missing you, but because..."

"Pray continue, Mrs. Butler."

"It's because I'm going to have a baby."

"Indeed? And who's the happy father?"

"You know it's yours! I don't want it any more than you do! No woman would want the child of a cad like you! I wish it were anybody's child but yours!"

"Well, cheer up. Maybe you'll have an accident," Scarlett was livid, was outraged. She felt his words as a blow and wanted to give him back part of the pain he had been giving to her. She plunged to him, her first going to his face but he caught her wrists. She cried out of anger, out of pain, and they struggled. Rhett turned his body and hers, trying to pushed her backwards. Despite his own anger and his own pain, he realized their dangerous position at the top of the stairs. Despite everything she had done to him, he couldn't bear to see her hurt. He was such a stupid fool, he knew, but still...

"Scarlett," despite his obvious superior strength over her, she was fighting with teeth and nail, trying to reached his face and tear it to pieces until he felt the pain she was feeling.

"Scarlett, wait!" he yelled at her but she didn't listen, she snatched her hands out of his grip and lunged at him. Her tiny fist hit his cheek at the same time his feet misstepped. Scarlett then opened wide her eyes, realizing her mistake.

"Rhett!" he tried to grab the banister, but the smooth mahogany slipped out of his grasp and he felt backwards, rolling down the stairs, his large body bumping in the steps, until he reached the bottom and then he lied still.

Scarlet was frozen, not daring to move. She was hoping to see Rhett standing and glowering at her, but it didn't happen. He lied there as a broken enormous doll. She started to climb down slowly, barely noticing the tears coming down her face.

"Rhett...?" no answer, not even a move or a moan. "Rhett?" she cried starting to sob and when she reached the fourth step she saw it; blood…, blood flowing, forming slowly a halo beneath his head.

Scarlett bloodcurdling cry rang across the house.

The next hours passed in a blur and Scarlett just remembered faces, moving lips, lifeless limbs... She remembered Mammy and Pork entering the room. She didn't know what they said, she couldn't hear anything; she just saw how Pork lifted Rhett's broken body difficulty and took him to the drawing-room. She followed him.

She sat next to Rhett close but far enough, she couldn't bear to see him like that but she couldn't leave him. She didn't understand it but she couldn't think about it, her brain refused to analyze information, it was stuck with the images of Rhett falling and his yells as he bumped downstairs, replaying over and over. Pork took the library some bed from the servant's quarters to move Rhett into a more comfortable place.

At some point Dr. Meade arrived and someone took her out. She didn't protest but refuse to leave her spot behind the door. Again she didn't hear anything, just saw moving lips.

When she entered again the room she went directly to Rhett, sitting in the armchair next to him. His head was bandaged and his left arm was in a sling, he looked better but he was still unconscious.

She started to hear something, a buzzing... a growing annoying buzzing... wait, it sounded like her name...

"Scarlett," she looked up and saw Dr. Meade staring at her worriedly. "Scarlett, did you hear what I said?"

She shook her head.

"I said your husband broke his left arm, and has several contusions but it's going to be fine. What does worry me it's the several contusions in his head. I bandaged the wound but I'm afraid it could be an internal wound. I don't when he would wake up or if there's going to be sequels, but I cannot do anything else for now," Scarlett nodded her head but said nothing.

"Call me if you need something," and the old man left the room.

Then Scarlett stared at her husband again, she could hear him breath now. He looked so peaceful, he looked like if he were just sleeping...

Her brain started to work again, this time against her. She was responsible of this, she thought. He tried to warn her, he even moved her out of the way, but she punched him and made him fall..., she practically pushed him. She swallowed and the tears started to come down. How they had come to this? How their marriage, their friendship had come to this? To this constant quarrel... it was a matter of time.

He had said awful things to her, but deep inside she knew she deserved them. He was about to hug her when she told him she didn't want the baby, and she wished it could be anyone's but his. Such a vile disgusting lie, she craved for the baby, and she craved for it because it was Rhett's. That was the reason why she had missed terribly Bonnie, why she started to feel that mother love... Bonnie, where was she? Probably with Mammy, she was far a better mother than her. She had been better than Ellen, and now was better than her and Bonnie wouldn't forget. She wouldn't forget how she had neglected her and her father.

Scarlett swallowed. She didn't want to keep analyzing her feelings, the things that happened, but she couldn't help it. She felt terribly guilty, and not only that. The thought of Rhett maybe never waking up was terrifying. She couldn't bear it, she couldn't bear it not to have Rhett with her. He had to wake and grinned and smirked at her, he had to jeered and laugh... that booming laugh that annoyed her but loved so much, he had to call her pet, and drive her mad, he had to try and be sweet with her again even if it never lasted... Why she wanted him so much? Why she needed so much? And why she realized now? Since Ashley's party... not, before at the mills, she discovered some new feelings, some strange feelings for her husband. But then he was cruel and then he was passionate and he told her he loved her and she knew they would have another life that never came because he left..., he had left her! If he hadn't left her this would have never happened! But then she thought about how she would feel in Rhett's place... assuming he had feelings for her. How it would be to be married to someone you love but didn't love you back? How it would be to see that person longing and dreaming about another person and comparing you to that person? How impotent she would feel loving that person but fighting constantly with him? Lying in his arms knowing he was thinking about someone else...? Scarlett was sobbing without realizing it again. She knew she wouldn't bear it and she didn't know how Rhett could have been with her all these years with her, suffering in silence. It was true he had hurt her as well, but now Scarlett thought it was comprehensible, she would have done the same...

Scarlett looked at Rhett's face and slowly she moved to kneel beside him and stroke his cheek. She vowed that she would change. She would be a better wife and a better mother for Bonnie and the baby growing inside her.

"Miss Scarlett!" Mammy's voice startled her and she groaned out of pain. She glanced around and she realized she was still in the drawing room but it was dark now. She had fallen asleep kneeling on the floor her head resting over Rhett's chest, and now her whole body ached, but she didn't care.

"Miss Scarlett, you should be sleeping like this, it's bad for you and the baby," Mammy scolded her placing a hand over Scarlett's arm and she helped her to her feet.

"Where's Bonnie, Mammy?" Scarlett asked.

"She's resting, Miss Scarlett. And you should do the same, come on-"

"No, I won't leave him," Mammy was surprised but her outburst. She looked at her mistress. She was too pale and had dark circles under her eyes, and her whole face irradiated sadness. The black woman shook her head. Scarlett was so stubborn she didn't appreciate the people around her until she lost them or the worst happened to them.

"All right, I will bring you more blankets so you won't be cold," Scarlett nodded and Mammy left reluctantly. She sat in the bed next to him and stared down at him. And then his eyelids trembled and he opened his eyes slowly, a groan leaving his lips. Scarlett gasped and covered her mouth.

Rhett blinked a couple of time and then fixed his eyes on her. Scarlett was beyond happy, she wanted to jumped and wrapped her arms around him tightly, and apologized for everything she had said and done, but she didn't do it, she was afraid of hurting him.

"Rhett, I'm so glad you have waked up. I was so worried," she told him and he looked around, frowning.

"Where I am?" he asked confused.

"In the drawing-room, we couldn't take you upstairs," Scarlett explained frowning as well. Something was off with Rhett, he was looking at her with a mix of amazement, confusion and amusement. Then his eyes looked down at his arm in the sling and he cocked an eyebrow.

"What happened to me?"

Scarlett swallowed and looked down at her hands.

"You fell from the stairs and hit your head...," she looked up to him alarmed. "You don't remember?"

"No, and I'm glad," Rhett responded and gave her one of his infamous grins. "What a stupid way of getting hurt!" he sat in the bed as well as he could, flinching a little and then looked at Scarlett again.

"And, if you don't mind, can you tell me who are you?" Rhett was still smiling, but his question took Scarlett's breath away.