"Is there any way we could bring the motorhome?" Asuka asked as they finished loading up all the plumbing supplies on the small Suzuki truck.

"Not unless you can fit it through the arch," Genma said.

Asuka looked at the arch and then at the motorhome. "Yeah, that's not happening and it'd be too much of a pain to take apart and reassemble."

"A home you have built yourself is better than any mass produced unit," Genma assured her.

"Ya got that right," Asuka agreed. "Of course, I'd still like to use mass produced plumbing."

"As long as it's a quality product and you install it yourself," Genma said. "I believe in making things that last for generations, not just a few years."

"Traditionalist?" she asked.

"No, lazy," he replied, getting a laugh from her. "But seriously, who wants to have to continuously repair or replace the same things year after year?"

"I'm right there with you," Asuka said. "It's one of the reasons I studied engineering."

Shinji walked over and handed Asuka a plate of food and a stein of beer. "Come to a decision yet?"

"Yes, it looks like we are going camping," Asuka said cheerfully. 'Until we get some buildings set up anyway."

"It's good exercise," Genma explained. "I'm training John to help him deal with his magical girl problem."

The three had rejoined the others who were sitting at the picnic table as they talked.

"You have a magic girl problem?" Asuka asked John in disbelief.

"Just with Uranus," John said. "The bitch kicked in my front door, which was unlocked, and kidnapped my toaster."

"How do you kidnap a kitchen appliance?" Rei asked curiously.

"It's self aware," John replied, "so it counts as a person."

"Are we talking about Sailor Uranus from the old magic girl series Sailor Moon?" Asuka asked.

"That's my home universe," John said.

"Are you sure it wasn't a youma?" she asked.

"It's a magic powered kitchen appliance from the Silver Millennium," John explained, "has a big Uranus symbol on the side because it was produced on one of its moons, probably Minas." What he recalled of Talkie Toaster from the show Red Dwarf fit in with the Silver Millennium surprisingly well.

"Sure it wasn't hers?" Asuka asked.

"She was the ruler of Uranus, she did not do her own cooking," John said, "and Talkie was not the sort of thing you found in the royal palace. Besides, she died and was reborn. You don't get to reclaim your stuff when you reincarnate anyway."

"So, she stole it, thinking it was hers but it definitely isn't," Asuka guessed.

"Pretty much," John agreed. "Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to take it lying down. She was always a bitch and I fully intend to annoy the hell out of her."

"I can't believe you live in Sailor Moon," Shinji said recalling all the hentai mags Kensuke had based on the series.

John grinned. "I told you your world was based on an anime in my world."

"What's it called, and am I the main character?" Asuka asked with a grin.

"Neon Genesis Evangelion," John explained, accepting a plate from Kasumi who was listening closely and looked thoughtful. "The main characters were the pilots, though we started off following Shinji, since it begins with the first angel."

"I think I recall that series," Kasumi said. "It was very dark."

Asuka looked around at the empty city. "Can't argue with that."

"How much hentai is there of us?" Rei asked.

"The answer to that question is always going to be 'endless amounts," John said. "Eternity and infinity are like that."

"I would like to hear of some," Rei requested, making Asuka and Shinji groan.

"Well if we go by the common stuff there are a couple of mainlines, this one, one where there is another pilot called Maya, I think I got the name right, that ends up with Shinji, and one where Gendo rewrites the world so none of the impacts happen. In that one Gendo and Fuyutsuki are repairmen, Asuka is Shinji's best friend who has a crush on him and Rei is Ritsuke's daughter," John said, recalling at least a little about them, "it's you standard love triangle."

"I'm not in it?" Kaworu asked.

"In most you are the noble and pure boy who sacrifices himself for love and I didn't watch the normal universe one long enough to catch you in it."

"I meant I wanted to hear about the hentai versions," Rei said.

"Oh, well like I said those are endless, but I do recall some good ones," John said. "In one, every time Shinji cracks open a core and defeats an angel, a loli version of the angel pops out and insists he's their big brother. Reality gets re-written to support this fact and only Shinji knows otherwise."

"What about when I defeat one?" Asuka asked.

"Shota," John said with a smirk.

"And me?" Rei asked.

"An adorable chibi you, who convinces you that you both should be seducing Shinji," he replied.

Rei giggled.

"We're one too, right?" Kasumi asked, already knowing the answer.

"Ranma one half," John replied. "A six season TV series, full ova series, and half a dozen movies."

"When does Ranma marry Akane?" Genma asked eagerly.

"Never," John replied. "Near the end of the series he fights and kills the phoenix god Saffron, destroying the mountain they are on, and saving Akane, but there is no happily ever after. They return to Nerima, the Jusenkyo guide sends Ranma a bottle of Drowned Boy water and you guys plan out the wedding. It had all the elements of a happily ever after, but then reality intrudes in the flaws of everyone involved. Soun decides he's only going to give the water to Ranma if he marries Akane and hides it, Akane never tells Ranma she loves him just that it's her special day and that if he doesn't marry her he'll regret it, and finally Nabiki sells invitations to all the fiances and rivals. The end result is Happosai drinks the curse water, the free-for-all destroys the dojo, and the madness continues."

"That's awful," Kasumi said sadly, "and we have to go through all that?"

"Not remotely," John said giving her a hug. "That was what happened in canon, but I already caused numerous changes. Nabiki is being forcefully shown what the arts are all about and Akane is being forced to learn to behave and that she can't just use violence to solve all her problems. Plus, since you know what was going to happen you can easily change things."

"Why is it so hard to get two teens to marry?" Genma groaned.

"Do you really want me to list off the reasons or was that rhetorical?" John asked.

"I'm rather curious as to what you think," Nodoka said.

"Alright," John said, "here goes. Ranma was taught to be a martial artist at the expense of everything else, even sanity. The results speak for themselves, Ranma is going to be a legend."

"He really fights a phoenix god?" Nodoka asked when John paused to figure out the best way to explain things.

"Immortal god-king type, but powerful enough that nobody disputes it," John replied. "His social skills are seriously lacking but since he's so skilled at the arts, he has centuries to learn them."

"Centuries!" Kasumi exclaimed.

"Centuries," John assured her. "Anyway, Ranma has had so little contact with people his own age before Nerima that he considers those genuinely trying to kill him as good friends because they insult and attack him, which is the only form of affection he knows."

Genma buried his face in his hands.

"He has had no contact with girls growing up and probably missed sex ed in school," John continued thoughtfully.

"They didn't teach it in school in my day," Genma said, "you learned it in the locker room or on the street."

"That would require him hanging out with boys his own age," John pointed out.

"Dearest," Nodoka said softly, making Genma freeze in place.

"Yes?" he replied cautiously.

"You have done a superb job raising Ranma," Nodoka said, "we'll both have to see to his continued education when we return."

"I've made a few mistakes," Genma pointed out.

"Mistakes happen and they are all fixable with a little effort," she assured him.

"All his friends and rivals have the same problem," John said, "it's one of the reasons they get along like they do."

"I'm going to have to hold classes," Nodoka decided.

"They could all use them," John agreed. "Personally, I think the best results would be starting a free love commune for martial artists. The way their affections are tangled up it's probably the easiest solution."

Kasumi laughed. "Can you imagine the expressions on their faces if you suggested that?"

Genma chuckled. "I believe it would mostly be confusion until we explained it to them and then at least half of them would pass out."

"A class for the girls, a class for the guys, and a mixed class once they've taken the first one," Nodoka decided.

"Some of them will have to take both classes," John pointed out.

"I don't think Ranma is interested in males," Nodoka said while Genma frowned at the idea.

"I meant for the cross-dressers," John said, "though Ranma should know both sides. While he may not be interested in males at the moment, a lot can happen over the centuries."

"I suppose that's reasonable," Genma said, "as long as he's continued the family line first."

Asuka nudged Shinji. "You could teach a class called 'Running your Harem."

Shinji smiled and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure my 'Harem' runs me."

"And it works out great," Asuka said, with a broad smile.

"If we're going to go camping, we'll need supplies," Rei said.

"You should also get some weapons," John said, "it's a magical world with a fair collection of wild animals and monsters."

"Elves and dwarves?" Asuka asked.

"We haven't run into any people yet," John replied, "we're pretty far from anywhere."

"Handguns?" Shinji suggested.

"And rifles," Asuka said with a smirk. "I can finally get some hunting done."

"See if you can grab some grenades," John said, "in case of dragons and the like."

"I hadn't thought it was that dangerous," Kasumi said, surprised at the topic of conversation.

"Martial artists like Genma and Nodoka are perfectly safe, in fact they fit in better there than back home as their skills are useful and necessary. We've been training hard, for just that reason, but people from this world have had less training than Akane, so until they catch up it's a good idea to go armed," John said.

"Or I could use my AT field to crush the danger," Rei said.

"Same here," Kaworu said with a smile.

"I'll stick to grenades to start," Asuka said, "it still takes me time to even manifest my AT field, much less use it offensively."

"I can't even do that," Shinji said. "Never thought I'd need to."

"I think your skill set is fine the way it is," Asuka said with a grin.

"I agree," Rei said, "you should let us do the fighting this time."

"Skill set?" Genma asked curiously.

"He's the best of us at being human," Kaworu offered.

Asuka laughed. "He's a house husband, he makes where we live a home, even after the end of the world."

"I'm a bit of a traditionalist," Genma said, before turning to look at the empty world around them, "but the ability to do that here… I find myself impressed."

"Really?" Kasumi said in disbelief.

Genma chuckled. "While I may tease Ranma about acting like a girl or participating in traditional womanly duties I have not once disparaged the skills involved. If Ranma wants to be able to add such skills he must work hard at them and the best way to get my son to put forth his best effort is to try and discourage him from doing them!"

Nodoka sighed. "We really must have a discussion on how best to motivate him."

"Genma shrugged. "It's worked well so far."

"It has," Kasumi said with a frown as she considered it. "Ranma has often used his martial arts skills to get tasks done, but the quality of his work is surprisingly high, even while he's hiding the fact that he's doing it."

"Anything can be training," Genma said proudly, causing Kasumi and Nodoka to exchange smiles.

"So, what's the plan?" Asuka asked.

"We've got a number of hours left until the gate activates," John said, "which should be enough time for everyone to do some shopping. Remember it's a medieval world, so shop accordingly."

"We can come back for supplies as needed, right?" Asuka asked.

"Yes, but it takes hours and large items are best done using the gate which only operates near the full moon. Myself, I plan on going shopping for some comfortable bedding."

Kasumi beamed and squeezed John's hand. "Pillows and comforters, some silverware maybe?"

"Sounds good," John agreed. "I'd also like to hit a crafts store for some engraving tools."

"Engraving tools?" Kasumi asked curiously.

"Genma killed a landshark and I want to make some scrimshaw with its teeth," John explained.

'You have a talent for art?" Kasumi asked looking interested.

"Not that I know of," John said honestly, "but I'd like to give it a shot."

"What's a landshark?" Shinji asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like," John replied. "Before I forget, you guys need to get birth control."

"Why?" Asuka asked.

"Because we can get pregnant," Rei said with a smile, "just not here."

Asuka looked shocked. "Seriously?"

"Definitely," John said, "and you'll probably want to hold off on children until you have qualified doctors nearby, not while building a tower in the middle of a magical wonderland."

"I want a lot of children," Asuka told Shinji.

"I do as well," Rei said.

"I also find the idea of children attractive," Kaworu offered.

Nodoka beamed.

"How long are we going to be in magic land?" Asuka asked.

"The better part of two months," Genma replied.

"No need for birth control then," Asuka replied, "we'd barely even be showing if we get pregnant during that time."

"Good point," John agreed.

"I was about to ask if you were planning on getting married, or already married, but I'm not sure how that would work," Nodoka admitted.

"As queen of the world I simply declared us married," Asuka said proudly, causing Rei and Shinji to sigh while Kaworu chuckled.

"Queen of the world?" Kasumi asked.

"I have the biggest breasts in the world, that makes me queen," Asuka said proudly.

John cleared his throat and tilted his head towards Kasumi with a grin.

Rei and Shinji exchanged grins. "All hail Queen Kasumi!" they chorused.

"What?!" Asuka looked down at her chest and then over at a blushing Kasumi. "Damn it!"

Typing by: fyrewolf5

TN: not usually a fan of SI's but this one is rather fun, all hail Queen Kasumi, and where can I get an actual working Talkie Toaster? Life would be so much easier with one.