Santana's P.O.V

Before I did anything with those divorce papers, I had them looked over by Quinn and my lawyer just to make sure Rachel hadn't done anything to alter them...she didn't. I just sent them off to be filled and now I feel like I can breathe a little better. Its been over a month and a half since that letter was given to me. I kept putting off sending the papers because I was waiting for another stunt from Rachel...but it never came. Rachel actually did come clean publicly and apologized to me as well and I applaud her for that, I didn't think she'd go through with it.

I haven't actually spoken to Rachel after we decided on how we would share our time with Miguel. As of now, we're alternating weeks. Since Rachel came clean I'm no longer "suspended" as they put it, though they really just told me to get the hell out until that shit was settled. Regardless of it all, I'm glad to be back at work doing what I love. Quinn hasn't gone back to work yet and I only returned on a part time basis until I feel like I should be full time again.

I'm not sure how bad coming clean affected Rachel's career but I heard she may have black balled herself. I want to say I would help but...I don't know. No matter how bad my marriage to Rachel had gotten, I will always have love for her as the mother of my child and I wouldn't want to see her completely fall off the wagon for Miguel's sake...I may see what I can do. Over time I've been able to start dealing with my anger towards Rachel, I'm not over it and no I haven't forgiven her yet but I'm working on it. As a part of working on it, I've decided to talk to her today. I'm meeting her a pizza place to pick up Miguel and I want to at least say hi to her.

As I grab the handle to open the door to the restaurant, I push my sunglasses to the top of my head. After entering, I spot Miguel in the play area that they have in the back. Not too far from it, I spot Rachel sitting in a booth with a car seat sitting next to her. I walk over to the table and Rachel looks up at me as I sit down. I glance at the baby and sit back in my seat.

"He looks like you." I say. Rachel gives me a slightly surprised look and takes her time before answering.

"Yes, he does." She says cautiously.

"How long have you been here?" I ask. Rachel furrows her eyebrows.

"Probably 30 minutes...Forgive me but, are you actually trying to have a conversation with me?" She asks and I can't help the eye roll that follows.

"Yes." I say. Rachel just nods.

"Well in that case, how are you?" Rachel asks. I glance at Miguel then back at Rachel.

"I can't complain. Things are pretty good. What about you?" I ask.

"Trying to just...be Rachel again." She says with a shrug of her shoulders.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" I ask.

"I lost myself with fame. I became...I don't even know if what I became can be categorized as human. I took a look at myself and realized I don't know who I am anymore, so with that said I've been going to see a therapist." She tells me.

"Therapy?" Rachel nods.

"I'd been going since before you left. I wasn't very serious with it but now I go twice a week." I nod my head. That surprises me but I'm glad she's getting help.

"I don't want to be that person I was anymore Santana. I can't do it for my own sanity. I don't want to be a miserable person."

"Well I'm glad that you're taking steps to better yourself."

"I am too. I want us to be able to re-establish our friendship one day and even establish one with Quinn. I want Miguel to be apart of a functional family and not one where his parents don't even look at each other. So when you forgive me, I would love it if you were willing to take the that step with me."

This is Rachel Berry...in her eyes. The one I met years ago. The one I married and it feels so foreign to see her. I thought she was dead. I'm shocked but I couldn't be happier for Rachel. I almost can't believe what I'm hearing and though I want to be skeptical...I'm not sure if I should be.

"I feel like that's achievable." I say and the smile I receive from Rachel...that smile makes me feel like she may be back or on her way.

"Splendid! I would like to speak with Quinn as well but I may do that when I return." I furrow my eyebrows.

"Where are you going? Movie set?" I ask. Rachel shakes her head.

"Acting isn't a good thing for me right now so I am taking a break from it. I'm not sure for how long but I won't be returning to it anytime soon. As to where I am going...I'm going to find myself. Honestly I just want to search for my soul while searching the world. I've been meaning to tell you but I wasn't sure how to begin the conversation."

"You still haven't told me where you're going?"

"I'm starting in Israel and going from there. I'm not sure after that. I will be leaving in a few months so you will be sole guardian of Miguel while I'm gone." Is she running away?

"Are you taking anyone with you?" I ask. Rachel shakes her head.

"Jared is going to stay with his father. I won't be gone more than a few months because I can't miss my boys growing up. I'll call and write. I won't just disappear." She says.

"Have you told Miguel?" I ask.

"I told him I'd be leaving and he was sad but I don't think it will really affect him until I leave." I glance at Miguel again and see him playing with another little boy now.

"Well I hope you find everything you're looking for on your journey." Rachel smiles.

"Thank you and I'm still so sorry for what I have done to you." I shake my head.

"You don't have to apologize but I do want to apologize to you. We were both wrong in cheating and the decisions we made towards the end of our relationship."

"I agree and I forgive you. It's in the past and I only want to look forward from this point on." I nod my head.

"Sounds like a plan Berry...but I do have to ask, do you still love me or did you want to fix our marriage as a part of a plan to get me away from Quinn?" Rachel looks thoughtful and folds her hands together on top of the table.

"In a way, it was both. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you to another woman but it wasn't because I wanted to be with you. It was because you were mine. I had to do a lot of thinking to figure out if I still loved you and I realized I'd always love you but I was no longer in love with you."

"Good to hear. So Miguel and I are going to head out." I tell her.

"Okay, well take care Santana." Rachel says as she hands me Miguel's book-bag.

"You too Rach." I wave Miguel over to the table and he says goodbye to Rachel.

We leave and go to the store to buy ice cream then home. When I open the door Miguel rushes in and runs around looking for Quinn. I shake my head and laugh to myself as I make my way to the kitchen to grab 3 spoons. I walk to the living room and sit next to Quinn who has Miguel in her lap, supporting him as he holds Taylor.

"Hey." I say before I kiss her cheek.

"Hey." She says back.

"How's she been?"

"Sleep." Great. Wish I could do that.

"So I talked to Rachel today." Quinn cuts her eye towards me but then quickly turns back to Miguel.

"About what?" Quinn asks.

"She's trying to better herself or some shit. Might actually be working or just another act. Only time will tell. She is leaving though, next month so we're going to have Miguel for a while." Quinn nods her head.

"Good for her I guess."

"Yeah. I want to apologize to you though." Quinn turns her head towards me briefly.

"For what?"

"Everything I did. I know it was stressful as hell and you were pregnant. I'm grateful Taylor ended up being healthy after all of that."

"Well thank you. I appreciate it and I forgive you." I nod my head and cut the TV on.

We spent the rest of the day eating ice cream and watching movies.

A/N: Super long time for an update...short update. Don't blame you if you hate me but i can't say updates will be quick, I just want to finish my stories and it will take time. Any who, this story is coming to an end soon so be on the look out for that. Review or don't but thanks for reading.