A/N: Hello all! I am terribly sorry that this isn't an update of any of my TVD stories, and I am working on them. School has kept me extremely busy this year. I hope I will be able to catch up my stories over summer break (its not too far off for me). This is an old story I had up a long while ago. I'm going through all my old files (there's like... 50 GB worth of old material) and I still like this so I'm re-posting this. Hope you enjoy.
Then I'd Have To Say 'Yes'
Reid sighed as he processed the information they had on Morgan's childhood again. It had been 2 weeks, 3 days, and 16 hours since they had discovered Derek Morgan's dark past, and Spencer Reid now understood why Derek didn't want them looking into his files; into his past. Spencer wished for once that he didn't have the memory or recall that he did. That he never knew the information that was currently haunting him. They were still in Chicago, they were actually at Derek's house—technically his Mother's and sisters' house—and they were supposed to be enjoying themselves… as much as they could that is. But Spencer couldn't get the images out of his mind, and every time he looked at Derek, they grew worse. And so to avoid it, he had lied about having a headache, had been given an ice pack and had been told to lie down up in Derek's room where it was quiet so he could get some sleep.
That had been five hours ago.
"I hope Dr. Reid is alright." Sara stated worriedly as she looked up the stairs towards Derek's bedroom where said doctor was sleeping.
"Reid? He's fine." Derek replied even as he moved past his sister, "But I'm going to go check on him. See if he's hungry."
"If he's awake ask him if he wants to join us for dinner." Sara replied as she moved back to the kitchen.
"Alright, I will." Derek replied as he continued up the stairs to his room. Reaching his door, he stopped to listen for any telltale signs that Reid was asleep or awake, at hearing the sound of a groan and a whimper; he gently opened the door to spy on his friend and colleague.
"God Derek… why didn't you ever say anything; why did you always let me complain about my childhood… when yours is so… horrible. But… you don't like to be pitied… I'm so sorry…" Spencer moaned as another image of Derek ran through his mind.
"There's nothing to be apologizing for, Spencer…" Spencer jumped and half rolled off the bed as he grabbed for his gun at Derek's sudden comment. "Sorry Spencer didn't mean to make you jump."
"It's alright. The likelihood of me jumping whether I had fair warning or not…" Spencer began to reply even as Derek leveled a glare at him to shut up. "Right, sorry."
Spencer sighed as he sat back on the bed and chanced a glance at the man in front of him, but winced as the recurring nightmares flared to life. Looking away, he turned to face the wall, with his back to Derek.
"Alright, Pretty Boy, what's been up? You haven't looked at me for more than a dozen seconds, and not at the same time for almost three weeks. What's wrong?" Derek questioned worriedly. Moving towards the bed, he gently sat down behind Spencer, until he was almost lying next to him, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He jumped when Spencer's hand shot up and grabbed it tightly; seeking and welcoming the comfort he was giving.
"I can't look at you without thoughts of what must have happened… They haven't left me alone, Derek… I've tried to ignore them. At first, they were nightmares… but then… it's like… like those nightmares I told you about. When you told me about that girl's eyes." Spencer answered him in a quiet voice. It was staggered… and he was stumbling over his words. Derek sighed, he couldn't believe that he was comforting Spencer over something that happened to him. "And… they wouldn't be so bad… if…." Derek raised an eyebrow in question as something of a strangled sob escaped Spencer as he continued explaining what was wrong.
"If what, Spencer?" Derek questioned gently as he comfortingly squeezed the frail man's shoulder.
"If they didn't start as you young… but then change into you… now… with me restrained… watching…. And not able to help you…" Derek shivered as he felt his world grow cold at Spencer's words. Moving his hand from Spencer's shoulder, he jumped as Spencer suddenly rolled to face him and tightly gripped the front of his tight muscle shirt.
"Ssh…" Derek soothed him as tears silently fell from Spencer's eyes as he hugged him close.
"I'm… sorry…. You're… comforting…. Me….. When I'm crying over something that happened to…. You." Derek sighed as Spencer hiccupped as he tried to talk to him.
Spencer tried to fight off the tears, but when he opened his eyes to look up at Derek, he gasped as a fresh wave of waking nightmares ran through his mind again. Tightly clinging to Derek, Spencer sobbed as he wrapped his arms around the taller, older and stronger man. Spencer jumped when Derek pulled out of his grip, and momentarily drew in on himself, until he registered Derek taking off his shoes.
"If we're going to lay here and cry, we might as well be comfortable." Derek stated, half-jokingly as he pulled off Spencer's shoes and then started on his own.
Nodding, Spencer stood and moved his shoes to his side of the bed as he undid his belt, pulled off his sweater, and removed his wallet, keys, and his gun from his person. Turning, he could barely see through his tears to know that Derek was doing the same, although he was pulling his jeans off, and a pair of pajama bottoms on.
"Here, put these on." Spencer jumped as he just barely caught the pair of red and black plaid sweats that Derek tossed at him. Changing, Spencer hesitantly waited until Derek was curled under the covers of his bed before he joined him again.
Derek waited until Spencer was curled up to his side, settled and covered up, until he broached the topic that had Spencer—and him two weeks earlier—in tears. "Tell me about them? About what you see?"
"It… they usually start back in Quantico. With us at the BAU, and we're all there talking about a case… the conversation is always garbled though. Like there's something blocking out what's being said, but I understand and participate in the conversation anyway. But I do hear you as you say, 'What do you think, Pretty Boy'. And… and I look away from you for a second to rifle through notes, or files, or on my computer for statistics or the case file… and when I look up, you're 15 years old… and you're looking at me with these pleading eyes. But then… HE suddenly appears and you tear up, and scream 'Dr. Reid! Help me!' As you're drug away. Then everything goes dark." Spencer explained, hiccuping every now and then. Derek shivered as he clenched his eyes shut and pulled Spencer close to him, trying to get comfort from his presence. "Then I wake up… and I'm tied up and bound. I don't know how I am; I just know that I am. And… as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I finally find you in the dark. It's like everything just bursts from a dam as a curtain of silence is lifted. And you're screaming for help, yelling no. To be let go, that you won't tell… and then your eyes find me…. And you're begging me to help. And I try… I do!"
"Ssh… Spencer… I know you'd try. But, you can't do anything about the past, and I have my justice. Belated, but I have it. So don't stress and worry and cry over that bastard. I'm here, I'm safe and I'm fine. I've been fine for a long time… Don't worry… just forget about it." Derek cooed in his ear, trying to soothe him.
Spencer sobbed as he tightened his grip on Derek's shirt, and focused on breathing exercises to calm him down. After several quiet minutes, Spencer sighed and looked up at Derek… and blushed.
"Sorry… for…"
"Shush, Pretty Boy. It's alright; you're looking at me again. And talking to me." Derek said as he smiled at him.
"Did you know the statistic of two people in a situation…?" Spencer started to spew statistics, to cover up his embarrassment, but was stopped when Derek's lips were suddenly on his. Effectively cutting his sentence off. Spencer blinked at the soft touch of Derek's lips on his, and gasped when one of Derek's hands ran up his side, and Derek rolled on top of him. Spencer blushed as a moan escaped him when Derek's tongue invaded his mouth, and one of his legs moved in between his and brushed against his hardening cock. Spencer shivered as he hesitantly reached up to wrap his arms around Derek's neck.
"Should we really do this?" Spencer questioned hesitantly as Derek's hands ran down his sides and legs, brushing against his hardening cock.
"Probably not…" Derek sighed as he moved to lie next to him again. "Come here Spencer."
Spencer swallowed as he moved to curl up to Derek. "Do… will…"
"Are you gay, Pretty Boy?" Spencer blushed at the bluntness of Derek's question, but quietly replied, "Yes…"
"What would you say if I asked you out on a date?"
"Um… Well, I'd say 'Yes'… are you asking?"
"Yes."
"Then I'd have to say yes."